SHERIDAN MUST SUCK HIS OWN DICK FOR SIX MONTHS, RULES SCOTTISH PRISON SERVICE.
Scottish firebrand politician, Tearful Tommy Sheridan, is to be released on parole after serving one third of the three-year sentence, imposed upon him for his principled fight against the evils of capitalism in all its forms, apart from in the sex clubs, brothels and drug dens of the North Western England. The only catch in the early release deal is that Sheridan must shut his gob for six months, in public, at least, and not go banging-on about the injustices of his life, his position and the failure of Mr CallHimDave to be held to account over l'affaire Coulson - or, Tommy, one might add, sotto voce, anything else.
Not usually known for its generosity of spirit, the Scottish Prison Service inadvertently does the nation and the aural environment a temporary and all too brief service. To be spared, even for six months, the sexist, incoherent, foam-flecked, fist-waving demagoguery of Mr Tearful Tommy Sheridan is, in these hard times, a welcome blessing, one tempered only by the knowledge that Mr Sheridan's fellow celebrity and his advocate, Mr Aamer Anwar, will, in his uniquely outraged and tongue-tied manner, be self-righteously filibustering his way around the TV studios, ranting about his client's purity and dedicarion to public service. Even facing this self-serving onslaught we might find some relief in the fact that Mr Anwar may not be simultaneously engaged in vigorously applauding the abolition of the double jeapardy legislation - one of the citizen's few protections against the over-reach of the state's criminal law.
For the illumination of those living outside this blessed land, perhaps poncing a living off Mr Salmond's oil reserves, we should mention that Mr Anwar
is one of Scotland's most prominent celebrity lawyers. Pushy, showy and woefully inarticulate, even for a Scottish lawyer. Mr Anwar, a civil rights enthusiast, has recently been trumpeting that the abolition of the double jeapardy protection means that those whom " everybody knows to be guilty" should be convicted forthwith; breathtaking stupidity, even from a shit-eating Sheridanite. I tell you, friends, the fifteen-minutes long BBC Scotland Newsnight features a tiny, regular cast of some of the dumbest, ugliest, stupidest and most repellent assholes in the country, Anwar being the unlikeley and ludicrously unsuitable default setting choice to pontificate about civil liberties, he's like the Imelda Blair of Jock jurisprudence.
Tommyists around Scotland - sadly, poor wee crossdressing wifebeaters, confusing opposition to their hero as endorsement of skymadeupnewsandfilth - insist that the campaign for Salmondism, I mean Independence, must hear the ranting, tobacco-rasped voice of Tommy, and no doubt the saintly Gail, too, if it is to mean anything at all.
Mr Sheridan and his media-legal stooges have already hijacked and torched the Left in Scotland, that they wish now to cavort in, make Scotland host to a bizarre and corrosive Celebrity Big Brother Independenc Referendum House is a self-indulgence too far. If Mr Sheridan himself has voluntarily agreed to the terms of his parole - he could, acting in principle, have served the rest of his sentence - then that should be the end of the matter; principle, for the baying Sheridanites, however, is shouty and bullying in its noisesome evangelism and infinitely elastic in its meaning. We must look forward, therefore, dolefully, to Tommy and Aamy berating the nation about its failure to properly honour the coke-snorting prophet in its midst and demanding that the terms of his parole are an affront to human decency. As if we didn't have enough shot to sidestep.
A MAN'S A MAN FOR A' THAT.
(IN A McGAY LIB SORT OF WAY)
Glamourpuss Tommy, bless, reclining in his macho sunbed,
models his tee-shirt for his avid wee fans.
Next week, in our Gay Heroes of Scotland series: entertainer and traveller, Mr George Gallowbum tells readers: Why I should be the first Socialist Emperor of Scotland.
Not usually known for its generosity of spirit, the Scottish Prison Service inadvertently does the nation and the aural environment a temporary and all too brief service. To be spared, even for six months, the sexist, incoherent, foam-flecked, fist-waving demagoguery of Mr Tearful Tommy Sheridan is, in these hard times, a welcome blessing, one tempered only by the knowledge that Mr Sheridan's fellow celebrity and his advocate, Mr Aamer Anwar, will, in his uniquely outraged and tongue-tied manner, be self-righteously filibustering his way around the TV studios, ranting about his client's purity and dedicarion to public service. Even facing this self-serving onslaught we might find some relief in the fact that Mr Anwar may not be simultaneously engaged in vigorously applauding the abolition of the double jeapardy legislation - one of the citizen's few protections against the over-reach of the state's criminal law.
For the illumination of those living outside this blessed land, perhaps poncing a living off Mr Salmond's oil reserves, we should mention that Mr Anwar
is one of Scotland's most prominent celebrity lawyers. Pushy, showy and woefully inarticulate, even for a Scottish lawyer. Mr Anwar, a civil rights enthusiast, has recently been trumpeting that the abolition of the double jeapardy protection means that those whom " everybody knows to be guilty" should be convicted forthwith; breathtaking stupidity, even from a shit-eating Sheridanite. I tell you, friends, the fifteen-minutes long BBC Scotland Newsnight features a tiny, regular cast of some of the dumbest, ugliest, stupidest and most repellent assholes in the country, Anwar being the unlikeley and ludicrously unsuitable default setting choice to pontificate about civil liberties, he's like the Imelda Blair of Jock jurisprudence.
Tommyists around Scotland - sadly, poor wee crossdressing wifebeaters, confusing opposition to their hero as endorsement of skymadeupnewsandfilth - insist that the campaign for Salmondism, I mean Independence, must hear the ranting, tobacco-rasped voice of Tommy, and no doubt the saintly Gail, too, if it is to mean anything at all.
Mr Sheridan and his media-legal stooges have already hijacked and torched the Left in Scotland, that they wish now to cavort in, make Scotland host to a bizarre and corrosive Celebrity Big Brother Independenc Referendum House is a self-indulgence too far. If Mr Sheridan himself has voluntarily agreed to the terms of his parole - he could, acting in principle, have served the rest of his sentence - then that should be the end of the matter; principle, for the baying Sheridanites, however, is shouty and bullying in its noisesome evangelism and infinitely elastic in its meaning. We must look forward, therefore, dolefully, to Tommy and Aamy berating the nation about its failure to properly honour the coke-snorting prophet in its midst and demanding that the terms of his parole are an affront to human decency. As if we didn't have enough shot to sidestep.
A MAN'S A MAN FOR A' THAT.
(IN A McGAY LIB SORT OF WAY)
models his tee-shirt for his avid wee fans.
Next week, in our Gay Heroes of Scotland series: entertainer and traveller, Mr George Gallowbum tells readers: Why I should be the first Socialist Emperor of Scotland.
A man peddling Freedom in order that he might enjoy a cushy living
would better starve.....
from Tasty McFadden's Corruption Blues
