Rabbits, Rabbits, Rabbits.
Well, saying "rabbits" is a lot less painful than: "a pinch and a punch for the first of the month" and has the advantage of being a solitary ritual, whereas the P&P requires one to find another person to assault, and may not end well, should charges be pressed. No good saying to the Magistrate "I'm just ensuring good luck for the rest of the month, Your Honour."
Mandelson certainly is the gift that keeps on giving, n'est ce pas?
Here he is in his tighty whiteys, consulting with a woman wearing a dressing gown. Just ambassadorial attire, in the privacy of one's home. As he said, he's a gay man, so never noticed any of the goings-on at Epstein's Island, or on the Lolita Express. And it was just nice of Epstein to give Mandelson's husband, Reinaldo Avila da Silva, £10 grand to pay for an osteopathy course plus related expenses in 2009 when he emailed asking for money.
Seriously? Is this how the rich carry on? Just handing out money should someone ask? Well, yes, the Epstein files also show two payments of $25,000 (£18,270) to accounts under Mandelson’s name in June 2004. Mandelson, of course, has a history of approaching rich men and asking for money. There was that little business in 1996 when he asked Cabinet colleague, Geoffrey Robinson, to buy him a house, basically on the basis that Robinson had money and he didn't, and Robinson obliged with an unsecured, interest-free personal loan of £373,000, against a £475,000 house in Northumberland Place in Bayswater, which Mandelson failed to declare on his mortgage application to the Britannia Building Society for funds to cover the rest of the purchase price. Just that the form was too complicated for him, surely? He also forgot to declare it in the Register for Member's interests, and also hid it from the boss, Tony Blair, who called him Bobby.
Then there were the free holidays with dodgy, but wealthy, foreigners. His New Year's Eve holiday on Paul Allen's yacht in January 2005, for example. Paul Allen being the co-founder of Microsoft, who, at the time, was under a major E.U. investigation. Mandelson was a European Commissioner at the time. And the free cruise on a yacht in 2006 from Diego Della Valle, whose luxury shoe businesses subsequently benefitted from tariffs imposed on Chinese shoes by Mandelson as EU Trade Commissioner.
Then there was the Rothschild party in 2008, which Mandelson attended while yachting near Corfu, with Russian oligarch Oleg Deripaska. Rothschild wrote a letter to The Times newspaper alleging that another guest was Conservative Shadow Chancellor of the Exchequer, our old friend Bukkake George*
who, he said, illicitly tried to solicit a donation from the Russian for his political party.
Mandelson had been chums for several years with Deripaska. As European Union Trade Commissioner, Mandelson had been responsible for two decisions to cut aluminium tariffs that had benefited Deripaska's United Company Rusal. Mandelson denied that there had been a conflict of interest and said that he had never discussed aluminium tariffs with Deripaska. On 26 October 2008, however, the Shadow Foreign Secretary William (Miscarriages) Hague said the "whole country" wanted "transparency" about Mandelson's previous meetings with Deripaska. In response, Prime Minister Gordon Brown
said Mandelson's dealings with Deripaska had been "found to be above board". Mandelson said that meeting business figures from "across the range" in emerging economies was part of his brief as EU Trade Commissioner.
It is said that scandals surrounding Conservative politicians tend to be about sex, whereas the scandals of Labour politicians are about money.
How do they initiate these conversations? "Oh, hello, lovely to meet you, can I have some money/a new house/free holidays/new glasses?"
The Dark Baron Mandelson said he was very sorry for his connection with Epstein, which caused him yet another sacking. Really, the Labour lot must have a serious lack of talent to draw upon, to keep on reinstating Mandelson despite his evident cupidity and appalling judgement. Well, yes, they struggle to find anyone who can
The latest tranche of Epstein documents has one open-mouthed in admiration of Epstein's work ethic. My word, the boy really took his work as a Russian tool seriously, constantly on his email - wherever did he find the time to fit it all in? The "sources" say he's a deffo Russian asset although there is no documentary evidence linking Putin and his spies directly to Epstein's illicit activities. Don't let a total lack of evidence get in the way of speculation, though. The most hilarious in the cache includes an email claiming Bill Gates asked one of Epstein's advisers to provide antibiotics for him to secretly administer to his wife to surreptitiously treat sexually transmitted diseases he'd contracted due to 'sex with Russian girls'. This has been robustly denied. Of course.
But the "sources" also claim that while US security services 'monitored' Epstein's Russian connections for years, Britain's Secret Intelligence Service were hesitant due to Epstein's connection to King Charles III's younger brother, who, it seems from photographic evidence, was in the habit of giving tours of the royal palaces to his dodgy pimp, Epstein and his procuress, Ghislaine Maxwell, including allowing them to sit on the throne usually warmed by the royal posterior of Her Majesty, the QE2, God bless her.
American "sources" believe Epstein was inducted into the world of espionage via business deals with Robert Maxwell, the disgraced media magnate who - like Epstein - died in murky circumstances; in Maxwell's case his body was found floating in the Atlantic in 1991, having apparently fallen overboard from his yacht.
The whole thing is like a rather preposterous film. Starring Matt Damon. Kind of makes you glad you are not rich and aristocratic. I'm assuming here, Dear Reader, that you are not rich, aristocratic, sexually compromised or a Russian asset.
What else can be said about Andrew? The man's an oaf, a sex-addicted, gullible pillock, with his hand out for money more frequently than that of the Dark Baron. Is he, like his great uncle, Edward VIII, a traitor? Or just a useful fool? The more documents that are released, the more compromised he appears. The Democrats were just wanting to get compromising material on Trump - what they found, though, was enough, in a sensible world, to end the monarchy in Britain. The nonce-adjacent Windsor brothers are looking a tad under the weather.
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There are four splendid anthologies of the writings of stanislav and mr ishmael, compiled by his friend, mr verge, the house filthster. You can buy them from Amazon or Lulu. Here's how:
Honest Not Invent, Vent Stack, Ishmael’s Blues, and the latest, Flush Test (with a nice picture of the late, much lamented, Mr Harris of Lanarkshire taking a piss on a totem pole) are available from Lulu and Amazon. If you buy from Amazon, it would be nice if you could give a review on their website.Ishmaelites wishing to buy a copy from lulu should follow these steps
please register an account first, at lulu.com. This is advisable because otherwise paypal seems to think it's ok to charge in dollars, and they then apply their own conversion rate, which might put the price up slightly for a UK buyer. Once the new account is set up, follow one of the links below (to either paperback or hardback) or type "Ishmael’s Blues" into the Lulu Bookstore search box. Click on the “show explicit content” tab, give the age verification box a date of birth such as 1 January 1960, and proceed.
Link for Hardcover : https://tinyurl.com/je7nddfr
Link for Paperback : https://tinyurl.com/3jurrzux
https://www.lulu.com/shop/ishmael-smith/flush-test/paperback/product-9yjvn7.html?q=Flush+Test&page=1&pageSize=4
At checkout, try WELCOME15 in the coupon box, which (for the moment) takes 15% off the price before postage. If this code has expired by the time you reach this point, try a google search for "Lulu.com voucher code" and see what comes up.
With the 15% voucher, PB (including delivery to a UK address) should be £16.84; HB £27.04.
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*Bukkake Udon
In the Japanese culinary world, bukkake means “to splash liquid upon.” It means the same thing in the porno world. Both will require slurping. Bukkake Udon contains thick wheat noodles served with a chilled broth made of dashi, soy sauce, mirin, and sugar. The noodles have a variety of toppings: ramen egg, pickled ginger, green onions, nori, fried garlic, bonito flakes, toasted sesame seeds, etc. The chilled broth is then poured over the noodles. You can look at it almost like a wet noodle salad.
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