The Sunday Ishmael: 25/01/2026

Danish Major General Soren Andersen participating in a military exercise held in Nuuk,  demonstrating how Europe will protect Greenland from the US.

 I may be out on a limb here, but I'm enjoying President Trump more and more. He's got exactly what he wanted out of Davos, just by reminding NATO how impotent it would be without him, issuing a few threats to tariff the fuck out of everybody, without fear or favour, and telling them that he is not going to invade Greenland.

"Oh dear, mrs ishmael, you've got this so wrong. Let me explain. Trump is senile, narcissistic and thin-skinned and attempted to blackmail Norway because he didn't get the Nobel Peace Prize."

"I thought it was Denmark owns Greenland?"

"The poor people of Greenland are happy that Denmark and NATO  protect them. Trump is a convicted felon. In his ramblings he believes Greenland and Iceland are the same place."

"Thank you for explaining. I thought the Greenlanders hate Denmark? Forced sterilisations, abducted children, medical experimentation, poor living conditions?"

Black mould on the roof of a government-owned apartment block for low-income Greenlanders.

"Bless you, mrs ishmael, issues of global economic growth and the protection of the West cannot be dictated to by the whims of a handful of discontented Eskimos."

"Oh dear."

"Don't worry: as Macron says it will be the most powerful who will dictate policy and the USA is not powerful: their debt exceeds their GDP. The U.K. holds a great quantity of U.S. debt - we bought it off China. So we have leverage over the United States."

"For fuck's sake - has anyone told Trump that we're in charge? Are you serious? Macron?

Macron? Really?"

"France, like ourselves, is a major nuclear power. We are the natural leaders of the free world, projecting strength against Putin's Russia, and, yes, the United States."

"Has it been established that Madame la Presidente Jolie Gilf stuck her finger in Manu's eye? Who are you, by the way, and what are you doing on my blog?"

"You may refer to me as a source close to Government, mrs ishmael. The Official Secrets Act precludes me from saying any more."

" Aye, right. So that's the official Labour position. Explains a lot. Now just fuck right off, Source."

Ah, yes, the sex pots of Davos, where one punter booked 5 women for 4 days at a cost of £90,000 without additional necessary expenses for hotel rooms, restaurants, drinks and gifts. A more usual expenditure would be £17,000 for a single escort booking (Swiss escort agency, myLADIES) 

Here's Manu slobbering over the hand of Queen Matthilde of Belgium, while King Philippe looks approvingly on. Foreigners, eh?

Before we leave the topic of how Starmer is in charge of the Western World, together with his petit ami, Manu, spend a moment contemplating this:

No, it's not a joke. The coat of arms of the British Indian Ocean Territory was granted on 4 October 1990, by Royal Order of Queen Elizabeth II on the 25th anniversary of the territory's establishment. The flag's centrepiece represents the ocean, with the Union Flag and St. Edward's Crown representing British rule of the territory. The two species of turtle supporting the centrepiece represent the local wildlife. The motto is In tutela nostra Limuria, which means “Limuria is in our charge/trust”.   Lemuria was once believed to occupy the Indian Ocean, the Chagos Islands being the last remnants of this non-existent continent.  Although the Union flag is present on the coat of arms, which also records our promise to look after Limuria, the UK Government agreed to  transfer sovereignty of the Chagos Archipelago to Mauritius and will pay an average annual fee of £101million to continue using the military base on Diego Garcia. 

Between 1967 and 1973, the entire population of the Chagos Archipelago was either prevented from returning or forcibly removed by the United Kingdom. The removals were carried out to make way for the establishment of a joint UK–United States military base on Diego Garcia. The main forcible removal of Diego Garcia's population took place in July and September 1971. Mauritius has repeatedly claimed the Chagos Archipelago as part of its territory and that the British claim is a violation of United Nations resolutions banning the dismemberment of colonial territories before independence. Given the absence of any progress with the UK, Mauritius took up the matter in various legal and political fora, eventually prevailing. 

On 22 May 2025, the agreement was signed by the UK and Mauritius; the dispute will end once the deal is ratified by both parties. So it is all done, bar the shouting. But then Trump decided it was a rubbish deal and so Starmer (one of the twin giant pillars of the world, remember, a bit like Mark Antony) has paused the Bill's passage through the House. We'll see how that goes. And gorgeous, pouting Andy Burnham, the King of the North, has stirred. It really is getting epic. 

Now is the winter of our discontent made glorious summer by this sun of Manchester.

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There are four splendid anthologies of the writings of stanislav and mr ishmael, compiled by his friend, mr verge, the house filthster. You can buy them from Amazon or Lulu. Here's how:

Honest Not Invent, Vent Stack, Ishmael’s Blues, and the latest, Flush Test (with a nice picture of the late, much lamented, Mr Harris of Lanarkshire taking a piss on a totem pole) are available from Lulu and Amazon. If you buy from Amazon, it would be nice if you could give a review on their website.

IIshmaelites wishing to buy a copy from lulu should follow these steps 

please register an account first, at lulu.com. This is advisable because otherwise paypal seems to think it's ok to charge in dollars, and they then apply their own conversion rate, which might put the price up slightly for a UK buyer. Once the new account is set up, follow one of the links below (to either paperback or hardback) or type "Ishmael’s Blues" into the Lulu Bookstore search box. Click on the “show explicit content” tab, give the age verification box a date of birth such as 1 January 1960, and proceed.

Link for Hardcover : https://tinyurl.com/je7nddfr

Link for Paperback : https://tinyurl.com/3jurrzux

https://www.lulu.com/shop/ishmael-smith/flush-test/paperback/product-9yjvn7.html?q=Flush+Test&page=1&pageSize=4

At checkout, try WELCOME15 in the coupon box, which (for the moment) takes 15% off the price before postage. If this code has expired by the time you reach this point, try a google search for "Lulu.com voucher code" and see what comes up.

With the 15% voucher, PB (including delivery to a UK address) should be £16.84; HB £27.04.