Christmas Quiz
I'm sorry to report that our mr mongoose has succumbed to the flu and is unable to provide us with the time-honoured Christmas Crossword. editor mr verge, the House Filthster, has stepped nobly into the breach and provided us with our Christmas sport in the form of an undemanding series of (mostly) political anagrams. Please print them off if you intend working them whilst toiletting.
Anagrams as devised by mr verge, the House Filthster
1. I wag at cnut declares timey-wimey seasonal queen.
2. Will reedy divas sing his praises at the
Lubedems Xmas party?
4. Boss marries
striker?
5. More knob-ache, Demi?
6. Hear demagogue finagle rage? Watch pond-pervert finger algae? Call old queen a leering fag? (Free anal gig for lucky milkshake fetishist.)
7. Pity litter-pickers’ damp old runt?
8. “I need job”, bleats downsized coot.
9. Starmer adds repellent moron to Embassy roster. (Always good to have a droll serpent demon in the snakepit.)
10. Prancer wined alone – the Windsor sleigh moves on without him. (His rancid new rep did him no favours.)
11. Power’s lever reaches no.11.
12. Eery anal gran promises house-building bonanza.
5. More knob-ache, Demi?
6. Hear demagogue finagle rage? Watch pond-pervert finger algae? Call old queen a leering fag? (Free anal gig for lucky milkshake fetishist.)
7. Pity litter-pickers’ damp old runt?
8. “I need job”, bleats downsized coot.
9. Starmer adds repellent moron to Embassy roster. (Always good to have a droll serpent demon in the snakepit.)
10. Prancer wined alone – the Windsor sleigh moves on without him. (His rancid new rep did him no favours.)
11. Power’s lever reaches no.11.
12. Eery anal gran promises house-building bonanza.
Caption Contest
The twelve captions of Christmas
1
2
3
4
5
.jfif)
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
Anagram answers in the next Sunday Ishmael. Caption entries in the Comments, please.
Have yourselves a merry little Christmas, ishmaelites.
14 comments:
caption 10:
"all served with my special home-produced barbeque-sauce - appellation la cuvette grand crud contrôlée"
caption 9:
"i bet the flagellant barrister gave you a damned good spanking too, eh, archbishop...?"
I don't know, but I want to be on the Christmas list for #6.
--Tennessee Budd
Bravo, Mr Ultrapox. As ever on these occasions, I am paralysed.
A word of gratitude too for Mr Verge's "anus-tool cringe" which just edges it in a tight field.
thank you for your acclamation, mr bungalow bill, and may i wish you, mrs ishmael, and all who congregate here - in the hallowed name of mr ishmael - a very happy christmas and new year.
in the best music-industry tradition - and in order to maximize on-line revenue - i shall of course imminently be releasing a re-mastered, and much-refined, version of the twelve captions of christmas, upon which occasion, mrs ishmael - having recovered her sobriety post-festivities - might perhaps wish to delete the original unvarnished interpretation.
now, i hate to be a stickler for formality...
but admirable as his anagrams undoubtedly are, i don't consider that the esteemed mr verge should be permitted to enter his own "anus" in a competition which he himself has created.
on the first day of christmas my guv'ment sent to me...
a leader in hy-po-cri-sy.
on the second day of christmas my guv'ment sent to me...
two titled tits
and a leader in hy-po-cri-sy.
on the third day of christmas my guv'ment sent to me...
three market-slumps
two titled tits
and a leader in hy-po-cri-sy.
on the fourth day of christmas my guv'ment sent to me...
four nazi-pigs
three market-slumps
two titled tits
and a leader in hy-po-cri-sy.
on the fifth day of christmas my guv'ment sent to me...
five f-a-t cunts
fo-ur nazi-pigs
three market-slumps
two titled tits
and a leader in hy-po-cri-sy.
on the sixth day of christmas my guv'ment sent to me...
six christians slaying
five f-a-t cunts
fo-ur nazi-pigs
three market-slumps
two titled tits
and a leader in hy-po-cri-sy.
on the seventh day of christmas my guv'ment sent to me...
seven sharks a-sharping
six christians slaying
five f-a-t cunts
fo-ur nazi-pigs
three market-slumps
two titled tits
and a leader in hy-po-cri-sy.
on the eighth day of christmas my guv'ment sent to me...
eight pansies petting
seven sharks a-sharping
six christians slaying
five f-a-t cunts
fo-ur nazi-pigs
three market-slumps
two titled tits
and a leader in hy-po-cri-sy.
on the ninth day of christmas my guv'ment sent to me...
nine pontiffs poncing
eight pansies petting
seven sharks a-sharping
six christians slaying
five f-a-t cunts
fo-ur nazi-pigs
three market-slumps
two titled tits
and a leader in hy-po-cri-sy.
on the tenth day of christmas my guv'ment sent to me...
ten tories tiefing
nine pontiffs poncing
eight pansies petting
seven sharks a-sharping
six christians slaying
five f-a-t cunts
fo-ur nazi-pigs
three market-slumps
two titled tits
and a leader in hy-po-cri-sy.
on the eleventh day of christmas my guv'ment sent to me...
eleven spooks a-spooking
ten tories tiefing
nine pontiffs poncing
eight pansies petting
seven sharks a-sharping
six christians slaying
five f-a-t cunts
fo-ur nazi-pigs
three market-slumps
two titled tits
and a leader in hy-po-cri-sy.
on the twelfth day of christmas my guv'ment sent to me...
twelve bombers bombing
eleven spooks a-spooking
ten tories tiefing
nine pontiffs poncing
eight pansies petting
seven sharks a-sharping
six christians slaying
five f-a-t cunts
fo-ur nazi-pigs
three market-slumps
two titled tits
and a leader in hy-po-cri-sy.
caption 4:
ooh...stop that, commander: you know you're not meant to lick my balls until we get back home
caption 4:
"yeah, satan's cock's almost two foot long...
and i should know, guys: i've sucked it enough times..."
caption 10:
"don't look now..."
mr ultrapox, you've surpassed yourself - brilliant. But where's everyone else? More captions, please.
caption 10:
ehen...these oyibo just can't stop munching on my bushmeat-burger, na wa
caption 8:
emmanuelle: "oh là là...j'ai un missile de croisière autonome pour toi dans mon pantalon, chérie"
caption 9:
"we keep a fine collection of mediæval scourges through there, archbishop arse-whip, and if you fancy, you're welcome to try them out - but only upon yourself, of course..."
caption 10:
"if this junk doesn't kill you, the 'covid'-jab sure will"
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