MOST LUDICROUS FOREIGN SECRETARY SINCE MALCOLM SHOUTY RIFKIND.
Foreign Secretary James Cleverly, Bachelor of Arts degree in hospitality management studies from Ealing College of Higher Education (now University of West London) in 1991.
Shadow Foreign Secretary David Lammy, Master of Laws, Harvard University, 1997
Someone seems to have decided that what Britain needs in a Foreign Secretary is a big black bloke. They were on the Sunday Without Laura Kuenssberg Show this morning, not disagreeing about what we should think about the latest, horrific development in the Middle Eastern War. Couldn't get a cigarette paper between them.
The need to stop British citizens importing the conflict to British soil is clearly a Governmental imperative. As Lammy said: “There’s a rise in anti-semitism, there’s a rise in Islamophobia in our country as I speak. In a position of responsibility, you do everything to minimise those who sew division.”
However, the BBC appears to have obtained an exhumation order on former Foreign Secretary, Malcolm Lower Your Voice To A Shout Rifkind, and included him on the panel to comment on the Foreign Secretariat Duo and clearly, loudly and simply spell out to the viewership that what is needed now is not a "humanitarian corridor" to get Palestinian civilians out of Gaza and food, water and medicine in, none of this rules of war stuff, no suggestion that in enforcing a siege on Gaza, Israel is in breach of the United Nations Convention. He barked: Hamas has illegally seized 130 Israeli citizens and is holding them hostage. Israel's actions are intended to recover the hostages, by siege, bombardment and ground warfare.
True, but hardly nuanced. Or humane. God help them.
Here's mr ishmael to give us some background on Shouty Rifkind:
And we are joined now by Sir Malc, what's your take on these myriaduvs ishooes?
Lord Sir Malcolm You're So Vain Rifkind,
Bart. and Tory Arsehole.
A BLOODY DISGRACE, NEVER THOUGHT I'D LIVE TO SEE THE DAY, POLITICIANS PLAYING PARTY POLITICS, ROBERT MUGABE, STALIN, HITLER, POL POT, THATCHER. LIBDEMS? TRAITORS. I MEAN, DOING A DEAL WITH US, ABSOLUTELY THE RIGHT THING, DOING A DEAL WITH THEM, AN OUTRAGE, HOW, PRAY, AM I EVER TO GET BACK MY BIG BROWN VOICE BACK IN GUVAMENT, SHOUTING AT THE PROLES, GIVING THEM WHAT-FOR? DISGRACEFUL. ABSOLUTELY DISGRACEFUL. SCOTTISH TORIES? WE DON'T TALK ABOUT THAT. AS A TRUE SCOT I AM HONOURED TO REPRESENT A RICH ENGLISH CONSTITUENCY. FOR THE TIME BEING. WOGS OUT NOW. TALLY HO.
The Scottish elite, scumbag lawyers, rubbish journalists, jumped-up councillors and trade union capos often describe themselves as a village, really. Certainly no shortage of idiots, the Scottish people ill-served for centuries by scoundrel patriots like Salmond, braying wannabe aristos like Malcolm Rifkind, gobby, dipso wankers like Charlie Kennedy and deranged, presbyterian Nazis like our outgone premier, Gordon Snot. What we need, here, in the best part of England, is a revolution.
Malcolm Lower Your Voice To A Shout Rifkind now graphically reminds us, braying and slithering on govament benches. Unemployment a price worth paying; no such thing as society; rejoice, we are a grandmother, mad as a longtailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs; Oxford, that's Oxford for you, the impudence of the outrageously stupid.
Both our sets of vaguely partisan demagogues have been richly colonised from Oxbridge and independent schools and crucially their immoveable Mandarinate consists almost exclusively of useless, good for fuck all, never done a day's proper work wankers, oily bastards and useless, self-serving piece of shit, peerage-hungry arseholes, first-this and permanent-that, not fit to run a carbootsale; festooned with the glittering prizes, usually a first or even a double first in classics, or PPE, whatever they are, and thus issued with a lifetime, business class ticket to the GreatShittingOnThePublicLatrineOfState, or Westminster, as it is known to all and sundry.
Finely-tuned Oxbridge minds led us to the Napoleonic Wars, the Veldt, the Somme, Dunkirk, Auschwitz; Malaya; Port Stanley, Andersonstown and the Bogside; Srebrenica, Fallujah and Helmand, properly clever people might have seen these things coming and intercepted or avoided them but no shame attaches to the Oxbridge authors - actual or proxy - of slaughter and mayhem, for they are our betters, allus 'ave bin.
Twentieth century Oxbridge intellects set the accelerants for the ongoing Middle East conflagration, the betrayal of Lawrence's Arabia, the Zionist expansion and terror, the support of the Shah which led to the headchopping Ayotollah bastards, the Suez disaster, the support of Uncle Sam's support for Sadam Hussein, all jewels in the crown of the Oxbridge establishment, everything they touch turns to revolutionary shit. Pakistan, Malaya, Ulster, thirty fucking years of murder and mayhem and torture, presided over by these same arseholes; even Cyprus, fucking Cyprus. Spies, arsebandit espionage, Blunt, Philby, Burgess, Maclean, all Cambridge. What on Earth is the point of Trident, when some Cantabrian at the Foreign Office will be, as we speak, disclosing it's codes and deployments in some furtive Ivan, Chink or Arab manlove tryst? Cambridge University - David Frost, Monty Python and BrownHat Treason. Jesus, the nerve of some people. Never mind the Oxford English Dictionary, what about the Oxford Book Of Catastrophic Ineptitude, A Self-Portrait?
In Google Images, Rifkind has more "posed" photographs even than most of the filth in showbusiness.
Quite the Christine Keeler, our Malcy.
Wonder if he's got any trousers on?
Hold that thought, it's what they're like, these people.
"Conservative Malcolm Rifkind got £3,066 ($4,800) last year for flights to his home in Scotland -- though he represents a district three subway stops from the Parliament in London.
“It’s amazing some of the things they’ve given themselves over the years. Why on earth would you need to visit Scotland in order to represent people in London? It’s all within the rules, but it all repels voters.” Andrew Rawnsley, author of “Servants of the People.”
"Sir Malcolm Rifkind, the former Tory Cabinet minister, raised eyebrows by claiming £499 for three trips by his wife. His constituency is Kensington and Chelsea, three miles from London”
from The Motley Fool blog.
Old ShoutyGob Rifkind, briefly foreign seckatry, enjoys, too, in these troubled times, a rebirthing, shouting about Iran, Syria, China and of course Europe. A CallHimDave loyalist, maybe hoping for office, hoping for an Indian Summer of bullying and fiddling and all the vices his skill set lends him to, the horrible fucking bent Anglo-Jock bastard hedges his bets on Europe: Well, I'm not persuaded of this and I'm not persuaded of that, he shouts to a dwindling Newsnight audience and to the bombastic Jocky Neil on his many platforms.
Malcolm Shouty, too, he and his wife's misuse of MPs' expenses should have seen him thrown-out on his arse and kicked up and down the Mall
Taxi? To the corner shop?
Yes, dear, the voters'll pay,
'swhat they're for.
but no, to compensate him for his embarrassment, they put a crook, a noisy, bullying blackguard, in charge of overseeing national security matters, so that he might sell them on to the highest bidders.
Now that millions are burned, dead, limbless, refugee and now that innocents, at home and abroad, lose their heads to Jack Straw's creatures, ISIL, now that Northern Labour is rightly seen as the beast-friendly, vote-rigging corruption that it is, now that the Rednecks are revealed as the hallowed home of tax evasion and money-laundering, the Filth-O-Graph and Channel Four took some pains to arrange a subterfuge in order to tell us what we already know about this pair.
It is true that in the US, Mr Al Capone, a minor gangster by Straw's standards, was finally arraigned and imprisoned on charges relating to his income tax and some might now think that as a result of these similarly relatively minor crimes, Straw and Rifkind will see their uppances finally come. They won't.
Rifkind, like so many Tories in parliament, is just a grubby, gobby crook, three years in jail would settle his hash.*
* Channel 4 and the Daily Telegraph used secret filming to reveal that former foreign secretaries Sir Malcolm Rifkind and Jack Straw offered their political connections to earn money from commercial companies. Ofcom said that there was a “significant public interest” in exploring the conduct of the MPs and that in the circumstances undercover filming was “proportionate and warranted”. The programme alleged that Straw boasted to undercover journalists that he had operated “under the radar” to use his influence and change EU rules on behalf of a firm that paid him £60,000 a year. Straw was recorded as saying: “So normally, if I’m doing a speech or something, it’s £5,000 a day, that’s what I charge.”
Rifkind claimed to be able to gain “useful access” to every British ambassador in the world. He described himself as self-employed, even though he earned a salary of £67,000 as MP for Kensington: “I am self-employed – so nobody pays me a salary. I have to earn my income.” Ofcom ruled that Channel 4 had taken reasonable steps to avoid “unfair and unjust” treatment of the MPs, making sure their views were fairly aired.
The programme, and Telegraph articles, led Straw to suspend himself from the parliamentary Labour party and Rifkind to step down as the chairman of parliament’s intelligence and security committee and as an MP.
“We are delighted this important piece of public service journalism has been thoroughly vindicated by the independent regulator,” said Daniel Pearl, Channel 4’s deputy head of news and current affairs and Dispatches editor. “This was a rigorously detailed investigation which paid scrupulous attention to fairness and accuracy at all times. We are pleased that Ofcom has recognised that the secretly filmed comments, ‘accurately represented the discussions that took place between the MPs and the undercover reporters’.”
And now the BBC has given a platform once again to Rifkind, twice disgraced by the expenses scandal and by his cupidity in attempting to sell the influence he gained as Foreign Secretary. Why the devil would anyone listen to anything the man has to say?
Moving on to matters Scottish, we note with glee that SNP MP, Lisa Cameron, has left the Scottish National Party and joined the Conservatives because, she says, of the "toxic and bullying SNP Westminster group." And she thinks the Tories will be less toxic? For our overseas readers, the SNP's only policy area is the break-up of the United Kingdom by seceding from the union, whereas the full name of the Tories is the Conservative and Unionist Party. That is, she is a turncoat whose interest is in being an MP, rather than having a set of principles. During the 17th century English Civil War the siege of Corfe Castle was won by the Cromwellian army when the soldiers turned their coats inside out to match the colours of the Royalist army. Fooled the defenders.
Anyway, Lisa Cameron's hop across the floor has delighted Rishi and enraged the SNP, and, not unreasonably, there are suggestions that the woman should resign and allow her constituents to vote for another SNP candidate, as she cannot represent their interests and wishes in Parliament - because she doesn't believe in them anymore.
And now it is the SNP Party Political conference. Let's see how they regroup, following their by-election defeat to Labour, Lisa's defection, a year in which the former First Minister was arrested and questioned by police, along with other SNP grandees over the matter of the missing £600,000, the mysterious appearance of a very expensive motorhome in the garden of Sturgeon's mother in law, a dramatic drop in SNP membership and income and an electorate unimpressed by the raft of ridiculous SNP policies, roundly squashed by the Westminster government - the recycling disaster, the highly protected marine areas nonsense and, the men can be women if they just say so farrago. Also unimpressed by having to pay higher taxes than they would if they lived south of the border.
There won't be a Sunday Ishmael next week as I'm on my holidays, but you could get your Stanislav and Ishmael fix by ordering the four-volume Call Me Ishmael oeuvre, the work of editor mr verge.
Honest Not Invent, Vent Stack, Ishmael’s Blues, and the latest, Flush Test (with a nice picture of the late, much lamented, Mr Harris of Lanarkshire taking a piss on a totem pole) are available from Lulu and Amazon. If you buy from Amazon, it would be nice if you could give a review on their website.
Ishmaelites wishing to buy a copy from lulu should follow these steps :
please register an account first, at lulu.com. This is advisable because otherwise paypal seems to think it's ok to charge in dollars, and they then apply their own conversion rate, which might put the price up slightly for a UK buyer. Once the new account is set up, follow one of the links below (to either paperback or hardback) or type "Ishmael’s Blues" into the Lulu Bookstore search box. Click on the “show explicit content” tab, give the age verification box a date of birth such as 1 January 1960, and proceed.
Link for Hardcover : https://tinyurl.com/je7nddfr
Link for Paperback : https://tinyurl.com/3jurrzux
https://www.lulu.com/shop/ishmael-smith/flush-test/paperback/product-9yjvn7.html?q=Flush+Test&page=1&pageSize=4
At checkout, try WELCOME15 in the coupon box, which (for the moment) takes 15% off the price before postage. If this code has expired by the time you reach this point, try a google search for "Lulu.com voucher code" and see what comes up.
With the 15% voucher, PB (including delivery to a UK address) should be £16.84; HB £27.04.
10 comments:
My lexicon has run out of words to describe how low the UK has slumped. I hope Mr verge can anagram all this?
Yes Mr Mike, lower than a snakes Bollocks. Still the Aussies have upset the great n the good, I see, with their rejection of secondclass citizenship, and, the kiwis have thrown out the party of horse face now she’s buggered of to riches beyond the dreams of Croesus.
Shouty malcolm eh? It shows how thick we, the British, are, repeatedly returning corrupt fuckers like him. Reminds me of the cunt, David Crausby, who he?you might well ask. Well the stupid people of Bolton first elected him in 1997, in the begginings of the great terror, until 2019, when he retired. He claimed every penny he could get away with for 22 years; every stamp, every envelope, every bic ballpoint pen, every elastic band used in his constituency office, run by his daughter. He claimed for a house, in London, of course, payed for by us, then flipped it, Mr n Mrs Balls style, so’s his house in Bolton became his second home, payed for by us. Then he rented out his London home, to another MP, £3000 a month, so he needed another second home, payed for by us. He never , ever got a look in the door of No 10, never mind a junior minister job, apparently he only spoke twice in the commons, in22fuckinyears. A former union shop steward, retired a millionaire. He’ll not be the only one. Did he hand the houses back when he retired? Did he fuck.
Great British Democracy, it's called. And to hear them on the hustings, you'd think they were angels straight from heaven, whose only mission is to make a difference. The only difference they're intent on making is to their bank balances.
That's a grim story abut David Crausby, mr inmate - a life of public service, eh?
Mr inmate: Crausby is but one of many - a shocking tale nonetheless. The system is broken beyond repair. I don't have an answer.
Yes mrs I, and there is much, much more to his disgusting story. Perhaps the saddest part is the state of the town of Bolton; a once thriving mill town with little unemployment, a busy open market and a busy market hall, with easy access, by bus, for locals and out of towners. On his, Crausby’s, watch the place has died, a lack of investment and a town Council only interested in vanity projects, the local poly-technic now a ‘university’ FFS, all the once independent little shops gone, now pound shops, charity shops and bookmakers. Even Marks n Sparks has upped sticks, after more than a Hundred years. It’s sad to see, the place is a shithole.
Other than outright violence, heads on pikes and flaming torches, Mr Mike, there is no answer, we’re truly finished.
Well, that is one avenue, mr inmate.
Here in Bandit Country, the local Barclays branch has closed and is now a charity shop. Oh and the local Lloyds has also closed. Can you guess?
I rememebr saying back in the time of the old king mr ishmael that we should remember the grasping lot of them and never vote for a one of the buggers who lined their pockets like the scum thieves that they were and are.
In other news a new head of the HoC standards committe has been elected. None other than the PIE harridan in chief. Those who God wishes to destroy he first makes mad.
It’s a benign Dictator we need, mr mongoose, someone intelligent enough, smart enough, who understand the needs of the people of these islands. A Roman style Dictator, clear the stables, remove the career politicians and let the Tiber run red with the blood of the corrupt, and bankers. Sort the infrastructure, energy needs, funny money. First rule would be… you want something, you work for it.
Five years should do it, a lesson for any future wanna be ‘leaders’ then stand down, and start afresh. It is far too easy for legislators to write favourable rules to suit themselves n their mates. Better to have their whims an fancies scrutinised by and accepted or rejected, instantly, Swiss style, no waiting four or five years to remove them, with those laws still in force, never to be removed, only for the next lot to gain from them.
I’m trying to convince my Sons to get the hell out, sell up, move abroad, start over, they can still watch the football and cricket wherever they are in the world.
I had a go, mr mike, but while "Sir Malcolm Leslie Rifkind" does tease with "millionaire"..."dick"...and "acid killer", nothing coherent emerged. Maybe another shot later...
cheers
v./
Same here, mr inmate. NZ or Canada - they may be run by woke midwits who thrink their Einsteins but at least you can feck off into the wilderness and pretend it's not happening.
BTW I volunteer for the dictator gig. I'll have it done and be on my retirement beach in six months.
Chaps, I'm being deadly serious, if I were young I would be learning Russia as fast as possible, and emigrating there.
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