Sunday 8 October 2023

The Sunday Ishmael: 08/10/2023

 I had my Covid and Winter flu jags on Thursday afternoon. In the same arm, as I wanted to have a functioning right arm. My nurse said the Covid jag was Omigod specific, as Delta has disappeared, and was made by Pfizer, whose website rubric rather dauntingly announces "Hope Changes Lives". Do they mean as in we hope that this vaccine works? My nurse looked at my notes and said, bracingly, you'll be fine with the Pfizer, it is what you had last year. By that time it was too late to protest, as the vaccine was in my arm and a little warmth was already spreading from the injection site. The Pfizer I'd had last year had knocked me for six. I had dutifully reported for my injections as instructed because I'm going on my holidays at the end of the month (Advance Warning, Ishmaelites) and last time I was on the cursed Aberdeen ferry I had contracted Covid and it was very unpleasant indeed. Anyway, all Thursday it was so far, so good, so far so good, in a sort of repetitive mantra. like Satie's Vexations, linked to by mr johnny, in the last thread. By Friday morning my arm was swollen, hard and sore. The gale, in an iteration of the pathetic fallacy, was force 5, the shrubs clinging with weak little roots, whilst bent horizontal and the 5 wheelie bins (general rubbish, plastics, glass,  paper and tins) were bowling around the garden dispersing their contents. I woke every hour during the night to pee, I alternately shook with cold then wiped sweat away, the brain fog was dense and I thought maybe this is it. By Saturday my arm hung heavy and inert, I stammered grotesquely as I searched for elusive words (like chocolate, cake and chips) and I sneezed like a banshee. I took an antihistamine and slept for 12 hours solid. Sunday morning my arm had returned to normal proportions, just disfigured by two big red splotches, and I thought, Good-oh, I'll be able to write a Sunday Ishmael after all, and tuned into the Sunday Show with Laura Kuenssberg (except it was with Rabid Derbyshire again - what is going on here?) 
to find out what had been going on in the world whilst I'd been incapacitated.
Trouble was, I couldn't follow the arguments and political points advanced by the interviewee.  Brain fog? No, just Sir Keir Starmer.
Labour, of course, are immensely pleased with themselves having won the seat reluctantly vacated by Margaret Ferrier, disgraced SNP MP for Rutherglen and Hamilton West. 
Ferrier intentionally spread Covid throughout the UK during Lockdown. On the 26th September 2020, whilst experiencing Covid symptoms, she visited a gym, a beauty salon and a gift shop then gave a reading at a church service on 27 September. Next day, she took a train from Scotland to London and spoke in a debate in the House of Commons that evening. She received a positive COVID-19 test result that day and returned to Scotland the next morning, again by train, having told her party whip that a family member was unwell. Ferrier was suspended from the SNP, and had the party whip withdrawn, but continued to sit as an independent, having refused her constituency's request to resign over the scandal. 
On 12 November 2020, Ferrier made her first appearance in the Commons since breaching COVID-19 regulations. Richard Leonard, then leader of Scottish Labour, described the appearance as "a gross insult to her constituents". He accused her of gross selfishness and started a petition for her resignation from parliament.
On 4 January 2021, Ferrier was arrested and charged by Police Scotland with "culpable and reckless conduct", eventually being dealt with by  Glasgow Sheriff Court on 13 September by a sentence of 270 hours of community service. (Unpaid work).
On 30 March 2023, the Commons Select Committee on Standards recommended that she be suspended from Parliament for 30 days. She lost her subsequent appeal on the recommendation, which was upheld on 22 May 2023 with the independent panel finding that she "acted with blatant and deliberate dishonest intent. She acted with a high degree of recklessness to the public and to colleagues and staff at the House of Commons. She acted selfishly, putting her own interests above the public interest." The House of Commons voted to suspend Ferrier for 30 days, which led to a recall petition in Rutherglen and Hamilton West. The result of the petition was declared on 1 August; almost 15 per cent of eligible constituents had signed, unseating Ferrier and triggering a by-election in the constituency. Ferrier is, of course, a Weegie, and typical SNP-er with no skin on her face, mendacious and determined to hang on to her job under any circumstances.
Michael Shanks, who has won Ferrier's former seat for Labour to Sir Kustard's unrestrained delight, with a majority of 31%, seems a nice boy.
He's a bit unsure of when he was born, his Wiki page being sure he was born in Ayrshire, possibly in 1987 or 1988. He is a graduate in History and Politics, worked for a charity for a while, then took teacher training and secured a post as a modern studies teacher in a state school. His leisure activities have involved him in community and charity initiatives for disabled people and running a Scout group for disabled children.

More tales from Craggy Island

They know how to enjoy themselves in Stromness. Maybe its all that yellowcake uranium that the town is built on. Anyway, they've invited the Vikings down for a beer festival.
Two Jarl squads will be visiting Orkney for Orktober Fest - Fire, Maet and Ale - 50 Shetlanders with full beards, little fur capes, torches  and glasses. Maybe false teeth and hearing aids. Here's the programme:

Beer bars open from 4pm.
7.30pm Viking Feast - “Come in yur auld claes and ait wi yur hauns.” . Let the good times roll.

Beer bars open for Saturday afternoon sessions from 12.30-6pm.
2.00pm Photo/selfie opportunity with the full-size Viking Galley and Jarl Squad
4.30pm Torchlight Gathering. Torches £10.
5.45pm Fiery Parade. Led by the Stromness Royal British Legion Pipe Band and Jarl Jamie Laurenson, the galley and torch bearers proceed from the Pierhead to Ness.
6.45pm Celebratory burning of the ‘Peedie Galley’. Courtesy of Chris Thomas of Stenigar, the bonfire will take place on private land beside the Ness slipway. Fire Marshall’s instructions must be followed at all times. No unauthorised access within the fire barriers or onto shore in front of fire.
8.00pm Beer bars reopen.
From 8.30pm -  Jarl and Squad visit Ferry Inn – toasts to the Jarl.

Beer bars open - from 12 noon.
From 2.00pm The Viking Games. Incorporating the 2023 Orkney Arm-Wrestling Championship and  one v. one Tug o’ War (Northenders v Soothenders).
Speed Nailing from 2pm. Professional Carpenters excluded
From 4.30pm (approx) Grand Finals and Trophy Presentations.
5.00pm-8.00pm Ferry Inn Curry Night (mair Fire, Maet and Ale) Bar and restaurant open for a one-off curry night with meat, fish and vegetarian options and plenty beer on hand to wash it down.
11.00pm Final tastes and toasts…. bars close, festival ends.

What's not to love about a Speed Nailing Competition (no Carpenters permitted), Health and Safety at the ritual burning of a mini Viking Gallery and a Viking vegetarian curry option?

Here's another fine tale from the far North, as reported in the pages of The Orcadian newspaper this week:
Down in Margate,  a Mr. Stewart was intrigued by the property details of the former Rothiesholm School, a two bedroom, two story  conversion advertised for  offers over £135,000. He got on to the phone to the estate agents and his offer was accepted within 45 minutes. Mr Stewart was in a position to purchase the property outright as he had been awarded £850,000 in compensation after a spinal injury. He was possibly unaware that the property was situated on Stronsay, an island off an island off the North coast of Scotland.
I've been to Stronsay. There's a lot of beaches, some geos, and one shop. There's no police presence.
Mr Stewart moved to his new property with his partner, Ms Burnell, and her adult daughter. None of the three had jobs. Tensions fermented between them into quite the argument, when Ms Burnell phoned police claiming Mr Stewart had threatened her with a knife, after slashing the tyres of his own car; following five months of abuse. Mr Stewart pleaded not guilty to allegations of abuse, restricting the sleep of Ms Burnell and her daughter, attempting to control her finances and isolate her from her peers. He advanced the explanation that Ms Burnell had thrown his phone, the television remote control and his Nintendo Switch out of the window,  slashed his tyres herself and locked him out of the house when he went outside to retrieve his stuff. He climbed back in through the living room window and sat playing with his now retrieved games console until the arrival of the police - which obviously took several hours, as the police had to commission a boat and get across to Stronsay.
The couple's plans to marry in a pagan ceremony had been abandoned when Mr Stewart learned that Ms Burnell was already married to someone else. Sheriff Robert MacDonald (honest, not invent) was quite scathing as he dismissed all the charges.

Let's hear from Mr Sam and his chums, one final time:

Harro! Mr Chu here again, owner of the Fuk Yoo Jon lestaulant in Hurr. Plescott come in other day with this shifty-rooking broke, say getting velly wullied about erection. I terr him tly viagala, it work for me evly time, but he carr me sirry sritty eye and terr me piss off. Then he start talking with shifty-rooking broke, who is famous Porish prummer and have name rike toiret -- Sanirav or something. It appear New Rabour tlying to buy vote of Porish community in Gleat Blitain and Sanirav wirring to herrp for cash in hand, no tloubre for tax man, wink nudge. What tlaitor! What tleachelous cunt!
Mr Wu said...

That frat frucker Prescott used and abused my lestaurlant The Ligid Cock in Glimsby for two lears before I kick his frat arse down the stairs two leeks ago.
He came in with blig-haired drag queen called Maureen and the frucking pigs ate their way fru the frucking card.
He always take up offer of eat all you can for a fiver. We give frat frucker small plates but he sly and goes back for seconds. He humililates his drag queen paramour who seem very nice.
I sling out Plescott because he expectorlates over my top waitress and offers me outside when I plesent bill.
I need to speak to you urgently Mr Chu. We need to stop this greedy, frat frucker in his tracks.

stanislav, a young polish plumber said...

Hello Mr Chu and Mr Sam and Mr Wu and fuck off back to Shanghai all of you, slope eyed, dog-eating, yellow racist bastards. Fucking bad enough live here with fucking Jock. Never mind with cheeky bastard chink with too many fucking teeth. Anyway stanislav never sit for dinner down with lard-eating, vomiting, shrunken-cock, speech-deficient, meatpie monster but instead give him quick rubdown with housebrick if opportunity 
ever present. Fat cunt.

The Call Me Ishmael oeuvre now comprises four volumes, thanks to editor mr verge.

Honest Not Invent, Vent Stack, Ishmael’s Blues, and the latest, Flush Test (with a nice picture of the late, much lamented, Mr Harris of Lanarkshire taking a piss on a totem pole) are available from Lulu and Amazon. If you buy from Amazon, it would be nice if you could give a review on their website.
Ishmaelites wishing to buy a copy from lulu should follow these steps :
please register an account first, at This is advisable because otherwise paypal seems to think it's ok to charge in dollars, and they then apply their own conversion rate, which might put the price up slightly for a UK buyer. Once the new account is set up, follow one of the links below (to either paperback or hardback) or type "Ishmael’s Blues" into the Lulu Bookstore search box. Click on the “show explicit content” tab, give the age verification box a date of birth such as 1 January 1960, and proceed.
Link for Hardcover :
Link for Paperback :
At checkout, try WELCOME15 in the coupon box, which (for the moment) takes 15% off the price before postage. If this code has expired by the time you reach this point, try a google search for " voucher code" and see what comes up.
With the 15% voucher, PB (including delivery to a UK address) should be £16.84; HB £27.04.

Bloody hell. Here we go again.


Mike said...

That sounds like a bad reaction to the jab, Mrs I.

It sounds like a classic "cytokine storm" - thankfully your system overcame it relatively quickly.

I'm no expert, but I've read extensively that its important to keep your immune system prepped with vitamin supplements (particularly Vit D, which you may be naturally deficient from up in the northlands).

Best wished for a full recovery.

mrs ishmael said...

Thanks, mr mike, I take vitamin D daily, along with my Glucosamine, a general supplement and milk thistle to support my liver to deal with my daily glass of red. I'm still a bit sore and tired, but I'm over the worst now.

Mike said...

I'm looking up milk thistle now. I think I was about 15 when I has a daily glass of red. I've graduated since then.

mrs ishmael said...

T'other way around with me, mr mike. I used to be a wildly experimental drinker in my University days, made my own wine and beer in my twenties and thirties and could afford to buy wine thereafter. It's only wine for me, now, evidenced by mr ishmael's whisky and cognac collection, still untouched after all these years. A half bot. of a 12.5% red or white with my dinner is more than enough for me, now, interspersed with abstinence days. As someone once remarked, getting older is not for the faint-hearted.

inmate said...

Oh dear. mrs Ishmael you still falling for the govament propaganda after all the excess deaths and serious side effects?
Is there a correlation with jabs to your covid infections?
Please take an hour or so to listen to, apparently Britain’s foremost cancer specialist, Prof Dalgleish and his findings over the last couple of years.

Anonymous said...

"a lot of beaches, some geos, and one shop."

What's a geo? A typo? Some kind of Orcadian goat? Do tell.


Mike said...

Thanks for that link Mr inmate.

Everyone should be forced to watch this. The implications are off the scale.

mrs ishmael said...

Ah, yes, a geo, mr verge, is a long, narrow, steep-sided cleft formed by erosion in coastal cliffs. The word is derived from the Old Norse word gja, meaning ravine. In Shetland the plural is gios, in Orkney it is geos. I'd never heard of it, either, until moving to Orkney, although Yorkshire, where I was born and raised, is heavily influenced by the language of the Viking invaders, geo didn't seem to have made it to where I lived- but then, I did live in the middle, not the coast.

mrs ishmael said...

Thanks for the link, mr inmate -it was an interesting conversation and I was heartened to hear that I'm doing the right thing with my Vitamin D supplementation. I'm not in a position to evaluate the Professor's assertions - not being a medical professional - but there were aspects of the interview that didn't sit quite right with me - the Prof's constant whinging that they should have listened to me, everyone's an idiot and stupid, especially Fauci and Whitty, and the fact that he seemed to be speaking from his bedroom, rather than a professional or clinical setting - but hey, what do I know?
Interesting that the cyber-corner conversation ran away with the fact that I had my jag - whereas I'd introduced that detail just in order to snidely and slyly comment that listening to Sir Keith Starmer induces brain fog. Sir Keith's lot have asserted that they are going to fund their policies by clawing back all the cash mis-spent on Covid contracts - that will be something worth seeing - I wonder how they will go about that?

Mike said...

I have a slightly different view, Mrs I:

First, Prof Dalgleish was confirming what another senior clinician here is Australia (Prof Clancy) has said. Importantly they both described the biological processes how the mRNA vaccines compromise the immune system and the consequences this would bring about, at least in ways I could understand. And other scientific voices and data confirm this.

Second: Prof Dalgleish is a practicing clinician and the fact he said what he did from his bedroom indicated to me that he was fearful of the consequences if he spoke from his office, which presumably would have been in an NHS facility. Indeed, he spoke at length of how the official system has shut down, and persecuted, naysayers.

The incompetence, lies, and general arse covering from Governments is everyday practice. Why should we assume anything different on what has proven to be not the multi-million killing virus that was breathlessly forecast but to be an over-reaction that has had financial and social consequences the like we haven't seen before.

PS I too am heartened that I take my daily Vit D dose, even Down Here where we have no shortage of sunshine, but still many are Vit D deficient.

mongoose said...

mrs i, covid is an mRNA virus. That is, it is a single strand virus not a d - as in duo, two, strand thingy. This means that it is incapable of replicating itself accurately. It mutates. It is a mutating respiratory virus. There never can be, never will be, an effective vaccine against such a thing. (Unless one changes the definition of "vaccine".) Because next winter the thing will have become a different thing. What you are offered - at very best - is a flu jab. And there is nothing wrong with that folk who might be protected a wee bit by same.

I was as fit as a butcher's dog. I am in my sixties. And until covid, I have had hayfever, a few mechanical mishaps, some wearing of the leg joints that cricketers destroy and that is that. I am the thinnest of thin people - no credit deserved - just an Irish thin person. I took the vaccine so that my isolated mate in France could have a visitor. I cannot stress enough that this was the single most stupid decision of my entire life. Every time I raise my pulse rate, I feel a pain/ache/uncertainty in my left chest. And I am the fittest 63-y-o you ever met. My great big bike? The one I cycle up and down my beautiful riverbank? Just once this year. And had to stop.

Covid and its measures were a wickedness far beyond anything I've ever witnessed before.

Mike said...

Mr mongoose: sorry to hear that but, sad to say, I've seen cases similar near to home.

I'm no expert, but there is some evidence you can cleanse your system of the spike protein (which seems to be the culprit from the mRNA "vaccines"). Google this subject, and have a look at Nattokinase. Also, as suggested by Pro Dalgleish consider an anti-inflammatory supplement like turmeric.

mrs ishmael said...

And eat more curry! Even the prepared curry sauces are stuffed with turmeric, cumin, garlic and tomatoes - all brilliant anti-inflammatories. After listening to the Prof yesterday, I made myself a chicken curry, quite forgetting my friends were calling for me later to take me to the pictures to see Branagh's latest impersonation of Poirot (impossible soundtrack, barmy plot, too dark to see anything and spurious musings on the supernatural). The curry was wonderful, but I had to apologise to my chums, who are revolted by curry. Strange. When I was growing up, I didn't like food. Until I went to a curry house as a teenager and discovered the warmth and comfort of deep spicing, and meat that was simmered into softness as opposed to the gristly lumps sitting in pale, greasy gravy that featured in our school dinners.
I hope you've strolled along to your GP, mr mongoose, to check out your heart.

inmate said...

Before the plandemic the good Professor was the go to authority for Melanoma cancer treatment, he worked across several hospital trusts, now his expertise is of limited use as sufferers are pushed further down an ever lengthening waiting list. Why is that? Well we had a plandemic, lockdowns, and now the doctors, when not on strike, can’t keep up with torrent of turbo cancers.
I don’t see the relevance of where he speaks from, more what he has to say.
My best mate was given the all clear, some five years ago, from cancer at the back of his throat and nose, regular check ups showed no signs of a return, anywhere. Then within weeks of his ‘booster’ it has returned, everywhere, spine, kidneys, chest and bones. Of course Whitty was the expert who insisted that those at risk, whoever the fuck they might be, should get the jab. Why is that? Who are these ‘at risk’? FFS the average age of death, with/of covid, fuckin increased.
Where are all these millions of excess deaths? Nowhere to be seen, if you read this Doctors report.

Yep, vit.D is the way to go mrs I and a bit of exercise in the fresh air.

inmate said...

…especially Fauci and Whitty, .. well yes especially Fauci, the man’s made millions of dollars from his HIV confidence trick. Over forty years of research into the HIV vaxxine and have they found one yet? have they fuckers like. And why is that women can ‘catch’ the HIV virus if it only affects homosexual men, surely homosexual men don’t have sex with heterosexual women, do they? Or is it that ‘all’ bi-sexual men have sex with women? hmmm, but ‘all’ bi-sexual men don’t get HIV. Oh, an apparently if you’re a ‘giver’ rather than a ‘receiver’ you don’t get HIV.
There’s more to Fauci than we are allowed to know, mrs I, he’s a salesman, not a doctor.

Sorry to hear of your problems mr mongoose, you could try getting a private diagnosis from a Cardiac specialist, I’ve had five by-passes on my ticker, after the three stents failed, miserably, feel much better, with more energy now.

mongoose said...

Thanks, everyone, but I am not at death's door or anything like it. I do think though that there has been some injury to heart muscle. As mr mike says, some of that is reversible and my diet - beer aside - is pretty healthy. (I'll take the tomatoes, mrs i, btw but leave the curry to you. And I eat nothing that has been slow cooked. We ran away from Ireland to escape all that ick, thankee kindly.

inmate said...

Here ya go mr Mike
Prof Dalgleish spells it out, with references to data from Australia.

Mike said...

Thank you Mr inmate. This is explosive stuff and should be widely read.