Sunday 25 June 2023

The Sunday Ishmael: 25/06/2023: Boating News

  Get your fresh, hot bollocks today.
Now that we've agreed that the Russian coup was nothing of the sort, let us turn our attention to matters domestic. Should you ever fall into the error of believing everything Wiki tells you, this entry about Windrush Day should re-balance your credulity: 
"Windrush Day is observed annually on 22 June in the United Kingdom...  introduced in June 2018 on the 70th anniversary of the Windrush migration....On 22 June 1948, 492 Caribbean people were brought to Tilbury Docks, Essex, in the UK, on the Empire Windrush ship..... After World War II, the United Kingdom's economy needed to be repaired. To do so, the British government recruited Afro-Caribbean migrants and offered them jobs. These jobs included the production of steel, coal, iron, and food, and also jobs in the service sector, such as running public transport and staffing the new National Health Service in the United Kingdom.
The first African-Caribbean immigrants in the United Kingdom were faced with extreme intolerance from many in the white population. Although African-Caribbean migrants were encouraged to settle in the United Kingdom and take up employment to relieve the labour market by the authorities, many early immigrants were denied access to private employment and accommodation because of the colour of their skin."
This entry is almost complete nonsense, but is widely believed as truth, rather than an origin myth - a myth, moreover, in which black people = good, white people = bad.
Here's more of the bollocks - sorry, canon:
The Windrush Poem
                                                Tracy Osei-Berko
Dear Britain,
When invited
They came for you
After war broke your country
They helped see you through
But then, you held all the power
So, they never really had a choice
Colonised and subdued
They were a people without a voice
So, to help rebuild
They arrived on your shores
To become your manufacturers
And assistants in stores
Their usefulness and very presence
Became a never-ending debate
And they were constantly subjected
To animosity and hate.......
It goes on and on, but I couldn't bear any more of either the doggerel or the propaganda. Here's an extract from another one, by Laura Serrant:
YOU CALLED ………..AND WE CAME.
You called…and we came.
In ships bigger than anything we had seen,
dwarfing our islands and covering them
in the shadows of smoke and noise.
Crowded, excited voices filled the air,
traveling to the ‘motherland’
– over weeks, over oceans that threatened to engulf us.
Driven by a wish, a call to save, to rebuild
and support efforts to establish ‘health for all’
in the aftermath of war.
You called….and we came.
It, too, goes on and on. However, the mythologised narrative is significantly different from the truth of the events in May and June 1948. The British Government was alarmed by the news that the Windrush was en route to Britain, carrying  531 West Indian men, who had taken advantage of fares heavily discounted by the Windrush's operator to offset losses because the ship was under capacity, on the final leg of her journey back to Britain.  A Privy Council memo sent to the Colonial Office on 15 June stated that the government should not help the migrants: ‘Otherwise there might be a real danger that successful efforts to secure adequate conditions of these men on arrival might actually encourage a further influx.’  Colonial Secretary Arthur Creech Jones replied: ‘These people have British passports and they must be allowed to land.’ But, he added confidently: ‘They won’t last one winter in England.’ Indeed, Britain had recently endured some very harsh winters.
London, Winter 1947
The Ministry of Labour was also unhappy about the arrival of the Jamaican men, minister George Isaacs warning that if they attempted to find work in areas of serious unemployment ‘there will be trouble eventually’. He said: ‘The arrival of these substantial numbers of men under no organised arrangement is bound to result in considerable difficulty and disappointment. I hope no encouragement will be given to others to follow their example.’ HMS Sheffield was deployed to monitor the Windrush, with orders to send it back if any passengers made trouble.
Soon afterwards, 11 concerned Labour MPs wrote to Prime Minister Clement Attlee stating that the government should ‘by legislation if necessary, control immigration in the political, social, economic and fiscal interests of our people… In our opinion such legislation or administration action would be almost universally approved by our people.’ The letter was sent on 22 June; that same day the Windrush arrived at Tilbury.
Fearing mass migration from the Caribbean into Britain, civil servants from the Colonial Office were dispatched to the Caribbean to orchestrate campaigns explaining that jobs in the UK were scarce, conditions were poor, with rationing remaining in place until 1954 for food, furniture, fuel and clothing, and immigrants could not be guaranteed employment or housing. There was a chronic shortage of housing in consequence of Hitler's slum clearance campaign, and the wartime coalition government under Churchill proposed to address the need for an anticipated 200,000 shortfall in post-war housing stock, by building 500,000 prefabricated houses, with a planned life of up to 10 years, within five years of the end of the Second World War. The Housing (Temporary Accommodation) Act 1944 aimed to deliver 300,000 units within 10 years, within a budget of £150 million.
There wasn't a post-war labour shortage, either, but a labour surplus. Between 1946 and 1960 almost 2 million people left the country, emigration encouraged by the government with subsided travel to Australia – at £10, a third of what the Windrush passengers paid. Even with mass emigration, unemployment rates remained stable. Fewer jobs than people.
Stripped of the mythologising, the single West Indian men aboard the Empire Windrush were economic migrants, come to Britain to make better life. They were not "sent for", nor were they "called". Their presence made demands on an entirely inadequate infrastructure for jobs, homes, food and clothes. Further, they were the spear head of mass migration into a country that did not have the infrastructure to support such an influx. Unsurprisingly, their presence was resented, as they constituted competition for the available resources and they were very visible as being neither native here, nor to the manor born. Mass migration to Britain continued between 1947 and 1962, latterly known as the "Windrush years", although these economic migrants were not transported on the Empire Windrush, which was used as a troopship until March  1954, when she caught fire and sank in the Mediterranean Sea with the loss of four crewmen. Legislation was eventually passed to strengthen immigration controls; the Commonwealth Immigrants Act 1968, for instance, stipulated that only those who were born in Britain or who had one parent or grandparent born there had right of entry. 
But why let history get in the way of a good origin myth?

Which brings us to the next part of the boating news - no, not the influx of illegal economic migrants in small rubber boats that Rishi Sunak is utterly failing to control, but yet another Scottish (best part of England) story.
See this? That's Scotland, that is. And all the little bits in the blue that look like dog droppings, they are islands. Rather a lot of them. Scotland is slowly rising, gradually recovering from the great weight of the ice sheet in the late Devensian glaciation about 22,000 years ago, which carved out the land between all those islands. The icesheet covered the whole of Scotland and Northern England. These islands - they are the tops of mountains and as Scotland rises from the sea, you'll be able to walk between the mainland and the islands. But that will take a very, very long time and another glacial period will probably come along before then, unless humans buckle down and create significantly more global warming to offset the forthcoming ice age.
So, we Scottish Islanders continue to rely on boats to get between the islands and the mainland and between the isles. The SNP administration steadfastly refuses to create permanent links,
Faroese Undersea roundabout
unlike the approach of the Faroese government, and equally steadfastly refuses to fund the replacement of the rust buckets that chug between the islands, regularly breaking down, stranding islanders and delaying fresh food. It also made an utter bollocks of the Ferguson Marine deal.
Pro-Scottish Independence tycoon, Jim McColl, bought Ferguson in 2014. He won the contract for building two ferries, which would be used by CalMac on the Western Isles routes. The procurement process has been dogged by allegations of fraud, currently under investigation by a leading lawyer, Barry Smith. Ferguson Marine was nationalised in 2019 by the SNP after it collapsed into administration following years of delays and over-spend on the two ferries. SNP Ministers have repeatedly defended the nationalisation decision on the basis that it saved jobs. Now Ferguson is actively considering job losses - a hundred, it is rumoured; a third of the jobs at the shipyard. When asked about these rumours, Ferguson Marine chief executive David Tydeman said: "We are currently considering a number of strategies to enhance the future commercial prospects of Ferguson Marine and to ensure the shipyard has the right mix of skills and capabilities among the whole workforce. At the right time, we will engage and consult with individuals, employee groups, unions, and wider stakeholders on the best way forward.”
The two ferries - the Glen Sannox and hull 802 - are more than five years late and at least three times over their original £97 million budget. In May, SNP economy secretary Neil Gray issued an exceptionally rare ministerial direction for an additional £72m to be poured into Ferguson Marine to help fund the completion of the two vessels. We are told that the Glen Sannox (remember her? Disgraced former First Minister Sturgeon launched her in November 2017 with no windows on her bridge. What appear to be windows is actually black paint. The painted-on windows were a clever ruse to disguise the fact that the ferry was not finished).
Anyway, because the Glen Sannox is not due to be reporting for duty until the end of this year, and her sister ship is so unfinished she doesn't even have a name but may be launched by the end of next year, CalMac and the islanders it serves have a problem. Which appeared to be solved by leasing from Orkney's Pentland Ferries the Pentolina car ferry. Unfortunately, the Pentolina, having been tied up in the Kirkwall harbour for years, ever since its replacement by the Arthur, failed to pass its seaworthiness tests. Desperate not to lose the lucrative leasing contract, the owner of Pentland Ferries, Andrew Banks, offered Cal Mac the use of the Arthur instead, at a fee of one million Great British pounds a month. Every month. Every single month. One million quid. A month. Remember the Arthur? The inquiry by the Marine Accident Investigation Branch into why it ran aground on Swona in July 2022 is continuing. So Mr. Banks needed to use the Pentolina instead - as Pentland Ferries were booked solid for the summer, with people, cars, trucks, removal vans, caravans, Tesco lorries. First outing, the 29th April, the Pentolina ran aground just after leaving its home port of St Margaret's Hope, with smoke and flames belching out of the engine room. It was under repair for April, May and a bit of June. Orkney's holiday accommodation businesses suffered badly, with multiple cancellations.
Just another Scottish tale of greed and incompetence.

Talking of which, Disgraced Former First Minister, Nicola Sturgeon, who hasnae done anything wrong, was arrested and interviewed for 7 hours as part of the inquiry into the SNP finances - more than £600,000 has gone missing, but a £100,000 camper van turned up on her mother-in-law's driveway. She was questioned, it seems, because she was one of the three signatories to the SNP party accounts, (being a signatory means you've read them and approved them as honest, legal and transparent), the other signatories being the then treasurer, Colin Beattie, and her husband, Peter Murrell. Murrell is being interviewed by Police Scotland again to discover what he knew about Jordan Linden, who quit last July as leader of North Lanarkshire Council following allegations that he had sexually harassed a teenager at a party in 2017. A further five men have come forward with allegations that Linden assaulted, harassed and behaved sexually inappropriately towards them, dating back to 2015. He says he hasnae done anything wrong.
Considering that the SNP has been sheltered and funded by the Westminster Government ever since gaining a majority in Holyrood, and has managed to make an absolute bollocks of everything it has done, how bloody dare First Monster Humza Useless announce that they will use the next general election as a mandate to request from Westminster another independence referendum. Just what sort of pig's ear would they make of running an independent country?
In more Boating News, the cruise liner parked up at Edinburgh to house Ukrainian refugees will be used instead for illegal migrants. Seems nobody is very keen on this, least of all the Ukrainian ladies who are having their cruising privileges revoked.


The three volumes of mr ishmael's Collected Works, selected, edited and anthologised by mr verge, the House Filthster, are now available.



Honest Not Invent, Vent Stack and Ishmael’s Blues are available from Lulu and Amazon. If you buy from Amazon, it would be nice if you could give a review on their website.


Ishmaelites wishing to buy a copy from lulu should follow these steps :
please register an account first, at lulu.com. This is advisable because otherwise paypal seems to think it's ok to charge in dollars, and they then apply their own conversion rate, which might put the price up slightly for a UK buyer. Once the new account is set up, follow one of the links below (to either paperback or hardback) or type "Ishmael’s Blues" into the Lulu Bookstore search box. Click on the “show explicit content” tab, give the age verification box a date of birth such as 1 January 1960, and proceed.
Link for Hardcover : https://tinyurl.com/je7nddfr
Link for Paperback : https://tinyurl.com/3jurrzux
At checkout, try WELCOME15 in the coupon box, which (for the moment) takes 15% off the price before postage. If this code has expired by the time you reach this point, try a google search for "Lulu.com voucher code" and see what comes up.
With the 15% voucher, PB (including delivery to a UK address) should be £16.84; HB £27.04.





20 comments:

Anonymous said...

The two poets yield the following anagrams :

"sooty biker race" (and "yoke or be racist")

"a surreal rant" (and "rare anal rust")

Is someone taking the piss?

v./

Anonymous said...

The Windrush history was news to me. Lazily, I had just let the narrative take hold.

It doesn't need saying, but immigration is a complex subject. I'm an immigrant myself. My chosen country has a very selective immigration system - only doctors and nurses, and other valued professions welcomed. In addition, there is the virtue signalling for international cred: a few Ukrainians to show we are anti-Putin. Any boat people lucky enough to reach our shores will likely succumb to crocs and snakes.

Mass immigration - either uncontrolled, or intended to change the demographic mix of a country seems to be the issue - because this has not been sanctioned by the indigenous population. This seems to me to be where the UK and Europe are. It's recently been published that ethnic Germans are now a minority in Germany. And they were shocked! Sweden is no longer the country of blue eyed blond nubile girls. As if it's just happened by chance. In my experience, France and Italy are not the countries I knew in my youth. And not for the better.

Otherwise, in my experience, different cultures add to the mix - as has been proven over time. Personally, I have Iranian friends, and better people you could not wish to meet. Although they are demonised in the West.

Mike said...

Anonymous=Mike Apologies.

mrs ishmael said...

I'm the child of a migrant, mr mike, and was marked forever by my experiences as an outsider in my northern primary school, speaking the language with a pronounced foreign accent and looking like a foreigner. Back then, attitudes were parochial and difference was regarded with deep suspicion and hostility. Didn't help that my teacher required me to sing a song to my five year old yamils in my birth language. I got a good kicking in the playground for that.
Decades later, mr ishmael and I moved to Orkney. He was a bit of a migrant himself, albeit only within the British Isles - Belfast to Birmingham. We moved to Orkney "to make better life". Orcadian attitudes to outsiders were instantly recognisable by me, based on my primary school experiences. Here in Orkney, it is said you have to have seven generations in the kirkyard before you'll be accepted as having a right to be here.
So I know the migrant experience is a tough one, requiring strength of personality, determination and internal resources. Even if you try hard to assimilate, you'll never quite manage it. And large-scale migration doesn't attempt to assimilate, preserving the culture of the mother country, even when the mother country no longer has that culture, having moved on, changed, modernised and adopted the monolithic Western culture. So the migrant will be more Islamic in Birmingham than in Islamabad, forming a circle to keep out the intrusions of Western secularism, dress, attitudes and sexual behaviours.
We're stuck with population swirl and mass migration, though, for good or ill, as the best, brightest, bravest and most adventurous seek to improve their circumstances by upping sticks to found a new life - even when the indigenous population have no intention of sharing their life with incomers, by blows and ferry loupers.

Mike said...

Mrs I: some inter-mix of races/cultures is essential otherwise it results in in-breeding and lack of progress. Its finding the happy medium. I can understand your experience: its an inevitable reaction of any species or race to defend against an unknown or outsider which maybe a threat; not necessarily personal.

ultrapox said...

mrs ishmael

notwithstanding the economic contribution made by afro-caribbean slaves to boosting britain's industrial revolution - with a stake conservatively estimated at, and constantly cumulating from, 5% of annual gdp...

and notwithstanding the part played by afro-caribbeans in hitler's downfall...

and of course, notwithstanding the introduction of the british nationality act 1948 - which formalized pre-existing freedom-of-movement within the british empire and granted equal rights to citizens of the united kingdom and colonies alike...

wasn't it really rather rude of the jamaicans to just pitch up here uninvited?

yes, it's my understanding that the operators of hmt empire windrush were simply looking to earn a spot of extra cash by effecting a 'pick-up on the return' from australia, and that, whilst the promotion of afro-caribbean immigration was not then official british government policy, the savvy shipping-company had smoothed tings out with the ministry of labour by highlighting, over a slap-up west-end dinner, the - economic - attractions of cut-price afro-caribbean nurses for the new nhs, alongside low-paid afro-caribbean workers for london transport.

the success of this decidedly dodgy trip was further facilitated, it is alleged, by the strange occurrence of communication-difficulties between mainland-controller and ship, whose radio suddenly developed a fault - largely, it seems, on account of being hooked up to a booming reggae sound-system.

indeed, given that the ocean-liner's entire complement of crew and passengers - including the captain - had become stoned-to-fuck on traditional herbal sea-sickness ciggies - and the vessel had consequently made a couple of unscheduled circumnavigations of the globe - it was actually a minor fucking miracle that the ship ever found tilbury docks at all.

moreover, while the nation fizzled in a state of huge uproar and indignation over the politically incorrect arrival of 892 funny coloured immigrants, it apparently transpired that 1000 tons of special jamaican tobacco were quietly off-loaded onto the quayside and surreptitiously distributed throughout the capital to a highly appreciative post-war london-population.

ultrapox said...

whilst i readily concur that freedom-of-miscegenation is vital for survival of the human race, mr mike, i have to draw the line at reproduction with the scots.

in fact, to my mind, any englishman disturbed enough to breed with mad ma stirdung, would frankly deserve the victoria fucking cross.

the emperor hadrian appreciated the inherent dangers of extra-imperial relations with the pictish folk, and duly constructed a cross-country cultural condom, the expedient creation of which scottish nationalists now ironically consider rather progressive - this irony only compounded of course by holyrood's present feverish desire to submit finally to the woke eu-yoke of holy roman rule.

mrs ishmael said...

You are quite right, mr mike, it is hard-wired into us, an evolutionary trait - those early hominids who weren't suspicious of strangers didn't survive to pass on their genes because they'd been clubbed to death by the next tribe wanting land, water, food, etc. So to welcome strangers and share resources with the outsider is a measure of our sophisticated civilisation that has overcome those primordial instincts.

mrs ishmael said...

Thank you for those additional Windrushian details, mr ultrapox - much appreciated!

ultrapox said...

correction:

sorry, mrs ishmael...

excluding stowaways, it was actually 802 bogling west indians who disembarked at tilbury docks from the empire windrush...

and to be strictly accurate, these immigrants were not all afro-caribbean - as some were in fact indo-caribbean.

ultrapox said...

i previously referred to the considerable contribution made by afro-caribbean slaves to boosting the british economy - with a constantly cumulating stake estimated to be as much as 5% of annual gdp at the height of the industrial revolution...

well, this contribution to britain's economy was entirely generated from the abduction and enslavement of africans - meaning that all monies accrued through this illegally-resourced industry in fact constitute a proceed-of-crime - which remains returnable in full.

of course, given that afro-caribbean slaves have never been compensated for their productivity - let alone the crimes perpetrated against them - then the slavery-compensation-meter is still running...

and therefore, in order to compensate present-day afro-caribbeans for the illegally enforced productivity of their ancestors, britain's bogus-stakeholders would now have to cough-up a sum equal to the average annual share of british gdp generated by slavery - multiplied by the total number of years for which this slavery continued in operation...

however, the killer-factor in the calculation would obviously constitute the figure used for british gdp - which, in ethical terms, could only possibly be construed as the amount of our current-day gross domestic product.

frankly, when faced with an eye-watering bill like the one just outlined, one does rather think it's time to be nice to niggers, doesn't one?


[incidentally, if you consider the above sum to be astronomical, then try calculating the historic reparations due to africans themselves for the death, damage, and destruction caused by trade-induced slave-wars, colonial resource-rape, and today's perpetual blood-mineral genocide - as incited by profiteers including the bushes, the clintons, tony blair, the bidens, barack obama, the cia, the european union, and the michels....]

suella godwinson said...

here's johnny

david awful-saga said...

wow, that's one whole loada back pocket-money which the british empire owes the afro-carib brethren, mr ultrapox...

twenty trill, maybe?

yes, i suppose i should make a tv-series on the subject, actually...

but you see, the lovely late queen elizabeth pinned this rather nice shiny medal on me chest...

and i don't wanna rock the boat.

actually, i had a word about all this reparations-business with our future prime minister, sir keir staller...

however, he said it's really not the time...

so there, i suppose.

benjamin zute-denier said...

hey, mr awful-saga, take my advice: forget the knighthood and let the twenty trill all hang out, man

david awful-saga obe said...

rule britannia, britannia rules the waves-o...

david awful-saga obe said...

mrs ishmael, would you please delete the comment which i entered on 14th july 2023 at 03:10hrs.

ta chuck

david awful-saga obe said...

rule britannia, britannia rule the waves-o...

bob barleywhine - from a secret location on tracy island said...

me h'unnerstan' zactly where yu cummin' from, mr h'awful-saga...

h'i mean, what would 'appen were the h'afro-caribbeans ter foller h'in the footsteps h'of the h'israelis - h'an' go spend their damage-money h'on nukes h'an' nuclear subz?

yeah man...

h'if the jamaicans sunk their 'compo' h'into h'a sub, say, h'an' it began a-chuggin' h'an' a-puffin' h'around-an'-h'around the h'island...h'i'd actually be 'xtremely concerned h'about matters h'of 'elf h'and safety....yu know, h'about such tingz h'as dreadlocks gettin' caught h'in 'atches, the du' provision h'of safe smokin'-h'areas, h'an' the h'appropriate h'utilization of jerk-drums h'on the h'observation-platform, but most h'of all, h'of course, h'i'd be worried-ter-fuck h'about grace jones gettin' 'er 'andz h'on the torpedos t'rass.

bob barleywhine - from a secret location on tracy island said...

mrs ishmael, would you please delete the comment which i h'entered h'on 14th july 2023 h'at 04:31hrs.

tanks babes

bob barleywhine - from a secret location on tracy island said...

me h'unnerstan' zactly where yu cummin' from, mister h'awful-saga...

h'i mean, what would 'appen were the h'afro-caribbeans ter foller h'in the footsteps h'of the h'israelis - h'an' go spend their damage-money h'on nukes h'an' nuclear subz?

yeah man...

h'if the jamaicans sunk their 'compo' h'inter a sub, say, h'an' it began a-chuggin' h'an' a-puffin' h'around-an'-h'around the h'island...h'i'd actually be 'xtremely concerned h'about matters h'of 'elf h'and safety....yu know, h'about such tingz h'as dreadlocks gettin' caught h'in 'atches, the du' provision h'of safe smokin'-h'areas, h'an' the h'appropriate h'utilization of jerk-drums h'on the h'observation-platform, but most h'of all, h'of course, h'i'd be worried-ter-fuck h'about grace jones gettin' 'er 'andz h'on the torpedos t'rass.