Saturday 21 August 2021

Caption Contest

 


29 comments:

Anonymous said...

Is that a withered gladiolus or are you just pleased to see me? (Brian swore I'd be meeting a butch kind of Mellors type of chap, not an Edna Everage tribute act. Bladdy hell.) Got a fag? I do like the faded fez look your gardeners have adopted - rather skinny, though, can't you feed them a few scraps? Probably needed for compost, I suppose. The scraps, I mean...

v./

bob said...

are you bill or ben?

jack the clipper said...

i'm investigating the suspected abduction and dismemberment of the flowerpot men...

you wouldn't happen to know anything about that, would you, madam?

the happy highgrove-hippy said...

my partner needs to harvest a crop of about 100 plants every month...

but don't worry, it's all for personal use

Mike said...

Ah, Camelia.

camzilla said...

mr mike,

just coz i've got two humps, it doesn't make me a camel, dear

by appointment to his majesty said...

oh fiddlesticks, you beat me to it, mr highgrove-hippy - i was going to say that too

by appointment to his majesty said...

magic mushrooms?

no, i'm afraid we don't grow that sort-of-thing on this manor, madam

sir simon rattlesnake said...

please mind where you wave your thingy, young man

don deadhead said...

look doll, here's the deal: either you and charlie-boy go fully organic - or you get one of these up yer frock

an antediluvian arsehole in the establishment-zoo said...

due to the impending climate-apocalypse, my husband set his heart on building one of those big boaty-things...

ya, so we've invited boris and carrie babymachine along for the cruise...

and if you and mrs gardener wish to come aboard for the ride too, you're welcome to bring your seeds and do some fertilizing

harry the democrat-doormat said...

@an antediluvian arsehole in the establishment-zoo

fuck, get me on the first flight to mars

camzilla said...

why is it always i who am the satirical subject of these caption-competitions?

how come that fat fuck fergie never gets to be piggy-in-the-middle?

the garden of unearthly undergrowth said...

duchess: "i know, it's amazing what i find growing in my private wildflower-meadow"

the royal shack said...

duchess of sweetcorn: "fancy a shag in the shed?"

the horse's mouth said...

oh ya, use the crop on me, baby

mrs ishmael said...

God bless you, mr ultrapox, your captions are hilarious!But for elegant simplicity, I'm going with mr mike's: "Ah, Camelia...."

Pray continue, Ishmaelites - competition open until I post today's Sunday Ishmael - which will be some time yet, given the plethora of good things to rip the piss out of that this week has yielded.

camzilla said...

between you and me monty, i rather hope mrs ishmael gets her tits caught in the mangle

royal round-up said...

oh dear, pulling out the weeds is all rather brutal and eugenicist, don't you think...?

my husband just prefers to give them a good talking to

top shelf totty said...

oh yes, ma'am...

such a terrible shame about the first mrs windsor...

and she had such great knockers too

pariah heap said...

no you cannot help yourself to my compost, you crazy old buzzard...

now get off my property before i call the police

deep moat said...

duchess of popcorn: "may i have a go on your cucumber?"

deep moat said...

duchess of popcorn: "may i try your cucumber?"

the eroto-ecologist said...

my husband's got no time for me, he's only into trees

the earth-mother said...

fancy a root, ma'am?

by appointment to his majesty said...

my partner needs to harvest at least 100 plants each month...

but don't worry, it's all for personal use

the merry moanarch said...

yes, to be honest, my husband's really no longer interested in me...

but oddly enough, when i disguise myself as an oak tree, he's straight up me

chocolate cosmo said...

one has a persistent little problem with browning on one's hydrangeas, mr don

the merry moanarch said...

yes, to be honest, my husband's really no longer interested in me as a woman...

but oddly enough, when i disguise myself as an oak tree, he's straight up me