|Joe Lycett, presenting The Great British Sewing Bee
The Laura and Liz Sneering Contest went quite well, really, with Laura presenting a graph demonstrating how the TrussTaxCuts will further enrich the rich:
She also revealed that The Spectator’s summer party – attended by senior Tory figures after the revolt against Johnson – was like being in a “tropical jungle” which was “very hot, very wild and very bizarre”. Describing the event as “hilarious”, Kuenssberg recalled “a stand-up row” between members of the different Tory factions: “They’d slain the beast who’d been pushing them all around for so long. The next generation was prowling around, trying to build new alliances and grab the plumpest, juiciest fruit for themselves.” Guto Harri, Johnson’s communications chief at No 10, reportedly got into a heated altercation with a key aide to Michael Gove at the summer drinks bash last month. Remember the appellation of Snake Gove being applied after the Levelling Up Secretary was fired soon after telling Johnson the game was up and he should resign?
Cogito ergo sum vicis. I think therefore I am a philanderer, ho-ho, ho-ho, jolly good chap really, only a bit of fun, dash it all, a chap's just being red-blooded, tormenting his her indoors. No, jolly fine bunch of chaps, whoops, and chapesses, what am I like - or quid enim sum ego, if, like me, you conduct most of your discourse in a dead language...
Dashed fine body of public servants, at the PBC, jolly well trust 'em with anything, apart from my daughters, that is, or sons. I say, do I have any children, 'sanybody know, on my staff, 'sthe sort of thing a chap's staff should know, after all........
Private Eye tells me that it has long been police practice for officers to personalise their head gear with sexualised drawings, known to Jan Szymczuk, retired senior detective police artist, as "the obligatory Met cock graffiti". He supplies "adult themed illustrations (cocks, nudes, boobs) and whatever else depraved illustrations officers want scribbled inside their flat caps."
He needs his fucking goolies handin' tae him.
Aye, Happy Christmas, yersel' like, Peace on Earth, Guidwil tae all o' yous.
But not tae yon eejit.
Get ma hands on him an' I'll be deckin' the halls wi' 'is innards.
See me, Ah wis raised a Christian, so I wis, but nae when it comes tae forgivin' people, d'ye ken, that's shite, that is.
an nae taxes.
Aye, an' a bostin Health Service.
If the above essay has whetted your appetite for more from the originator of Call Me Ishmael, look no further than Ishmael’s Blues - which is now
published, in both paperback and hardback editions; both editions are
immediately available from lulu.com.
The paperback is also listed on amazon. Honest Not Invent and Vent
Stack, the first two books in the sequence are also available from Lulu
and Amazon. If you buy from Amazon, it would be nice if you could give a
review on their website.
Ishmaelites wishing to buy a copy from lulu should follow these steps :
Unless you’ve done this already, please register an account first, at lulu.com. This is advisable because otherwise paypal seems to think it's ok to charge in dollars, and they then apply their own conversion rate, which might put the price up slightly for a UK buyer. Once the new account is set up, follow one of the links below (to either paperback or hardback) or type "Ishmael’s Blues" into the Lulu Bookstore search box. Click on the “show explicit content” tab, give the age verification box a date of birth such as 1 January 1960, and proceed.
The book’s full title is "Ishmael’s Blues – further Chronicles of Ruin", and the cover you'll see is red with white titles and a picture of blogdog Buster retiring from the fray, cat gloating from a safe distance. The cover is the same for both editions.
Link for Hardcover : https://tinyurl.com/je7nddfr
Link for Paperback : https://tinyurl.com/3jurrzux
At checkout, try WELCOME15 in the coupon box, which (for the moment) takes 15% off the price before postage. If this code has expired by the time you reach this point, try a google search for "Lulu.com voucher code" and see what comes up.
With the 15% voucher, PB (including delivery to a UK address) should be £16.84; HB £27.04.