WOODLAND NUTTERS ARE RAMBLING IN THE LAST CHANCE SALOON,
WARNS LYING THATCHERITE SHITBAG.
DAVE MELLOR, DEEJAY AND FOOTBALL PUNDIT,
KNOWN UNAFFECTIONATELY IN MEDIAMINSTER,
AS MR SUPERCALLIFRAGALISTIC DREADFUL HALITOSIS,
EVEN JUST A WHIFF OF HIM IS SOMETHING QUITE ATROCIOUS
AND SO ON........
Toothy Tory slag, bullyboy and ponce, David Mellor, a not-very-eminent QC, famous for betraying his young mistress, his wife and - very publicly - his children, and for taking free holidays from Arabs whilst a minister, is to be made Woodlands impresario as part of the Coalition's plan to wreck everything which makes life in Britain vaguely tolerable.
Mr StinkyGob has succeeded the blessed and most holy lying bastard Jonafun Aitken as the Ayrabs' spokesman in London; it is not known whether, like Aitken, he organises spanking parties for his employers, but he certainly leaps to their defence against charges that shooting the citizen is wrong. Snarling on yesterday's Today programme, the horrible fucking bastard told Justin Webb-Tory and Sarah Montague-Tory that he would soon sort things out. The woods and copses and thickets and forests are safe in my hands and those of my employers, Messrs Ali Baba and his Forty Associates. I can guarantee you that in a very short space of time I will have sold the woods off to our very important allies in Bah!-rain, Kuwait, the Arab Emirates and any other mediaeval shithole which bungs me a few quid. No, let me finish, these head-chopping, wimmen-stoning mongrel bastards have instituted some very sound quasi-democratic institutions and if they need to teargas their citizens or run them over with tanks well, in my eminent judgement, they will have a very good reason for doing so and Mr Dave Cameron should think twice about lecturing the King of Bah!-rain. Let's face it, the King of Bah!-rain, doesn't do as many U-turns as Dave does, does he, not that he has to, being a proper tyrant and not just a pretend one, like Dave.
No, I give fair warning that soon the woods and copses and forests and thickets of Old England will ring to the sound of coked-up arab playboys exercising their princely rights and beating their servants to death, just as it should be in a proper country. Woodland sports, that's what I want to encourage, never mind all this walking-about, communing with nature and heritage, in my eminent judgement poor people - and that's most of you - shouldn't be allowed anywhere near the great copses and woods and forests and thickets of this great company. Unless it's to pass their Highnesses the SheepsEyeball sandwiches, chop-up the cocaine, just so, and bury the bodies.
Honorary Sheik Dave bin ToeSuckFilthyBastard Mellor.
12 comments:
Sometimes being ugly helps being a bastard.
I'm trying to decide if giving the second coming of John Thomas Mellors is a better choice than John Redwood for overseeing the destruction of our ancient forests.
Sorry. Mildly concussed from beating head on keyboard.
Do we never get rid of these people? Last night it was the former Ome Seckatry AGAIN on TW (wearing a remarkably ill-chosen Little Black Dress which looked like a tightly-fitting binbag), Leon Brittain, another gargoyle model, oozed out of the woodwork again the other day, and now this horrible creature.
" our very important allies in Bah!-rain,"
Does anyone know why Pravda etc insist on pronouncing this place in Arabic ?
They don't say Deutschland or Espana they say Germany or Spain. So why do they try and say 'Bachrayne' ?
It masquerades as some sort of BBC, anti-colonial, PC bullshit but is really just sucking up to the money, mr nobber. Hence "Bay-jing". Hence the renaming of all of India. It is just illiterate idiocy. We will know that we are done when an EU dictat requires us to say "Par-ee".
Not to mention Munchen. Don't forget to look out for the moment when ich-Dave blurts "ein Volk, ein Reich!" Maybe he's saving it up for the triumphant Falklands Revisited moment (around 2 or 3 years hence?)
Was just thinking that Mrs N. First it was Tarzan on QT, then Jacqui oh I`ve forgotten where I live Smith sitting next to Portillo. Haven`t seen Kinnock for a while but no doubt he`ll be recirculating soon, like a fart in a space suit.
And now this slimy,smug, condescending, mediocrity. Forests ? Why ? Is Flashman operatinga Job Club for the turds of yesteryear ?
No, sorry, it's not the forests, I made that up, the rest is true, though. But if they can find work for the rest of them they can surely squeeze Mellors in somewhere. He's busy pissing-in at the moment.
On the same programme yesterday they had Lady Glenys Kinnock of TaxiFares and Matthew Dreary of Lads' Mag, the Times, chortling away at their own wit. Nearly crashed the pips, they did. I thought I had died and gone to Hell. Maybe I have.
He won't be here in two or three Coalition Years, mr verge. Trust me, I used to be a plumber.
A while before Christmas, mrs n, I stopped drinking tea and coffee, my blood pressure fell by a sustained twenty per cent, a twenty cups of coffee a day man, I have never missed it for a second. I am doing the same with Andy Neil and his grimy crew. I know it's arguably good to know what they're up to but it's better not to. Cameron is just too much, I can't watch him at all now but only read reports of his nonsense; it took me years to get that way with Gordon Snot, Cameron has done it in a few months.
I think Mellors, with that broadcast and a later one on skymadeupnewsandfilth, fucked himself as far as public commentary goes but he's in the pay of Arabian despots so that'll be his main concern, keeping their highnesses happy. Cunt.
Please, not Mellor. What a piece of shit.
I was a little taken aback at last night's QT when Hezza claimed Maggie was ready to do a deal with Galtieri over the Falklands post-invasion when a group of 'right wing tories' convinced her to launch a war.
Can't believe that for a minute. What was Hezza on about?
I am down to a couple of cups of coffee a day, Mr I, and now find myself falling asleep all over the place. We need uz drugs, you know.
Jeez,has the Conservatives gone into the resurrection business,it's just a part of selling off everything yet again cheaply to their mates,Spelman must have been shocked when the garbage hit the fan,she lost a lot of money,I think the canals are next,that really should stay goverment controlled as well as recreational use,it has promising routing for the high speed fibre broadband backbone and even future hi hi speed,nice money could be made if it was privatised,the only other route is the railways,the tracks are sort of state owned and could be a viable source of extra revenue,running trains are just something that has to be put up with, upping the prices they still get business.
I can't drink coffee at all - instant reaction of a dodgy heart type issue; may have something to do with regular 36 hour benders on the old booze but i'm no doctor.
Am glad this twat hasn't been given a gig but, as said, it'll be in the post. I have however noticed that this Andrew Cooper fella they've hired as 'Director of Strategy' is a fucking Lib Demmer. I know all Tories are scumbags but one would have thought they could have found 1 with a bit of talent!
I too unfortunately caught the Parris Kinnock heterophobe wheeze and wondered wtf is going on in the world. They also had mellor on pontificating about Bahrain - hmm..
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