Wednesday, 9 February 2011

WHAT THE PAPERS SAY, skymadeupnewsandfilth on the scandal rocking the nation.

It is being rumoured in cyberspace that irrepressible TV bully, tabloid writer and moron, Mr Jerry Clarkson, below


has sought and obtained an injunction, banning anyone, anywhere, at anytime from suggesting that his relationship with his mother, below

It's this big.

is unnatural. Fatty Clarkson, who also writes for skymadeupnewsandfilth's lads's mag, The Times, is said by his followers to be spitting gudgeon pins at the idea that he is some kind of  freak and has started up his Steam-powered Simile Generating Apparatus in order for it to develop some phrases of denial; the machine, famous for such gems as This Car Is So Fast It Feels Like Your Hair Is On Fire and This Car Is So Slow You Get Overtaken By Continental Drift and other phrases about how fast or slow a car is  has failed, however, thus far, to generate a simile proving that Clarky is not a perv. It was designed only to exaggerate, in a colourful fashion, and not to tell downright lies, said the apparatus's inventor, professor Sir Magnus Turd of the University of Shepton Mallet; in the case of the horrible fucking bastard, Clarkson who is clearly  a degenerate, happy to misuse his mother, even to the point of doing it on TeeVee,  the apparatus just puts itself in sulk mode, like a mechanical Charles Clark.


Jerry, please make it stop. Go on, bitchmummy, you know you love it.

 Is Clarkson a Mummy-Molester? Should he be fired? Which of his mates should take over, the dwarf or the prat? Should we fill the jails up with rubbish like Clarkson, or should he do community punishment (only not, obviously, near any old ladies) in other words remain free, among decent people.  Free. To smash up their caravans. Free. To rubbish Birmingham. Free. To accept free cars from the motor industry. Only you, Sun readers, can tell this loudmouth lardman where to sling his Aston Martin. Is it alright for this fabulously rich, spoiled git to put his dear mother on the game, especially when she has brought so much joy to the nation with her Paddington Bear toys?  Come on,  readers, lets tell this BBC parasite what we really think, that it's  time for him to  play the white man, like Mr von Cameron says.

Mr Fatty Clarkson with a tiny model of his wife, perfect in every detail and not the reason for anyone taking out an injunction. Gosh, doesn't she look happy?  Well, what girl wouldn't, walking-out with the MotorMouth of Britain.


Woman on a Raft said...

Thanks. I did wonder, but as File on Four got pulled this evening I was having a fume about that. An injunction, but I don't know which section it applied to or who asked for it. Grrr.

I smell foul play; they waited until this afto' to try to crash the schedules but they could have got it days ago, meaning they know it is difficult to re-schedule even in the injunction is lifted.

The courts are doing far too much of this hushing-up.

jgm2 said...

Better not let my missus see Clarkson's wife. She's going to want that coat.

Looks like a entire village of chinchillas gave their life for that coat.

call me ishmael said...

I believe the superinjunction relates to a child and is actually not dissimilar to the one sought by Mr Andy Jugears, of the BBC; it's almost as though he were to have taken one out seeking to hide the information that he is not, after all, according to DNA testing - by Blunkett's LittleLadsRUs, paternity specialists, Ltd. - the father of Alice Wotsit's child, when his first injunction was to hide the fact that he was.

It may of course be argued - the vile Cecil Parkinsin did - that such secrecy is in the child's best interests, although such costly sensitivity is denied the rest of us, whose lives and failings remain fairgame for skymadeupnewsandfilth.

Maybe, though, the ridicule attaching to a so-called formidable TeeVee political interviewer paying maintainance for a child which he had not fathered is more than Mr Marr and the BBC can bear; if, bizarrely, he is the injunctioner, which of course he isn't, then that would be a stupidity novel even amongst the shitbags of celebrity journalism.

The injunctionability of Sin seems likely to become much more prevalent under the nation's current moral guardians, the Coalition of the Unwholesome, which believes that our betters are our betters because they are better than us, even though they are shit.

mongoose said...

I think I'm getting confused. Clarkson was the sire of the jug-eared one's non-daddyship? Or Marr is at it with JC's mum? Or is it some ghastly menage-a-how-many from the imagination of F1 under-Fuhrer Moseley?

PT Barnum said...

Mr Mongoose, I think you're confusing it with the plot of Eastenders Street.