Wednesday, 9 February 2011


Pathetic, squirming, shameless, worthless piece of dirt, Death will be a mercy to him. Not much wriggle-room in a coffin.

Mr Cable, after your months of negotiations, after your promises to the nation,  do you have any powers over the banks, over bonuses, over lendings, over disclosure?

Well, we have preferences, which we have made clear  to the banks.......

But the man who wrecked his bank is getting, on top of his salary, one point five million pounds as a bonus......?

Well, if I may say so,  you have completely misconstrued things...........

You want public sector salaries of fifty-eight grand to be exposed but not those of bankers who are paying themselves millions for failure, with taxpayers' money?

Well,  if I may say so, that's not quite the case, we have told the banks they must change......

No, fuck it, I can't continue with it, this is the most arse-clenchingly embarrassing interview since Michael Howard squirmed himself into infamy on Newsnight. I have been watching and listening to this shit all my life and this is the worst I ever heard, I sat here in a cold sweat, listening to Cable's self-abasement;  either I'm too sensitive or else I'm getting soft. What he needs is a punch in the gob and instead he engenders just revulsion and loathing, incredulity that another human can so debase themselves.

Cable's own life must be so arid and pointless that he would do and say anything to hang on to his job as public whipping boy for the Tories whom, five minutes ago, he despised.  We should have guessed that from his eagerness to appear on CrueltyTeeVee's dancing show. A  proper man would've resigned over his leaked and risible I am a nuclear weapon  bombast and his  complete,  public  humiliation and unparallelled ministerial demotion but I suppose, as we know from past LibDems' form, the taste of shit improves, if you eat enough of it;  Cable's appetite now seems insatiable. Poor,  sick, old man. This ain't politics, friends, this is porn.

Those with an interest in self-humiliation can hear Cable's virtuoso performance on the BBCiThing, Radio Four, the PM programme at about eight minutes past five.

No, the hat is dual purpose, it keeps my head warm, and I can eat shit out of it.
I'm a doctor, you know.


One of the bastards has finally resigned/been sacked, some pipsqueak Lord - Upstart, is it - had the balls to tell the PM programme that the  Osborne Treasury couldn't negotiate it's way out of a paper bag. Maybe some more of the fuckers'll jump ship, aghast at being in a crew than includes both Clegg AND Cable. 


Anonymous said...

The not-very-liberal Liberal not-very-democratic Democrats had, for so long, been in the position that they could offer anything and know that they would never have to deliver it are, now, in the altogether less-comfortable position of having nothing to offer and being very competent at delivering it. The cognitive dissonance in the minds of Cable, Clegg et al. must be of a mind-destroying magnitude. There is a fellow in the States who, while wandering in the wilderness, got caught in a landslide: his arm was trapped under a large boulder. After 6 days trapped, he cut off his own arm with a knife, not, he claims, to save his life - he thought he would die anyway - but because the stench of the decaying flesh so repelled him. It can't be long for Cable, now.

call me ishmael said...

Bravo, me edgar, a beautifully framed, deliciously morbid thought; with your permission I will email it to the Business Seckatry himself. Mind you, it might be, as Mr Clegg maintained to sceptical students, today, that we just don't understand how well we are being treated.

Dick the Prick said...

I just don't see the politics in it. I don't understand. There's 90 Lib Cllrs in the Times today whinging that the cuts are too fast, too soon which may be true but the Libs are leeching votes here, leeching members, leeching political capital. For what?

From my time playing politics the objective isn't to get X or Y done, it's to fuck people who you don't like and survive. I can't even see Cleggy surviving the general next time as Sheff has always teetered on Lib Dem but is mainly Labour. That's why we have fucking constituencies so politicians in power send brown envelopes in the post and just ignore neighbouring constits but...well....i'm just baffled.

Either it's fucking sophisticated genius or i'm missing something or, possibly, maybe...they really are just the dumbest of fucks that ever walked in that place.

I'm fine about politicians lying, hell, it's in the job description but to get found out immediately is virtually unheard of. The people should only find out later when they realize there's a huge cock up their arse.

I just don't get it!

call me ishmael said...

Unlike your own eye-wateringly vivid prose, mr dtp, it is definitely not sophisticated genius.

mongoose said...

You have it, Mr DtP. There is no sensible explanation for the Dog-shooters madness. Beyond that is a craven grasping for money and "power". It is however, and as maddening as it must be for everyone, a cause for congratulation for the Camerbastard. He has snatched political salvation from disaster. Re-rig the constituency boundaries, drop Scotland into the abyss, bugger up the AV business, fuck the LibDumbs senseless, lay off everything as a Luvvie screw-up, and you have the chance of a thousand year reich. And Clegg did it for you. This was bound to be a one Parliament government - given the libraries that had to close, the wheelchairs which had to be confiscated, the grannies who have to freeze next winter. Unless something extra could be added to the mix. Cameron maybe has added it. The vile swine.

Dick the Prick said...

This sounds like a tax dilema. Central government controls about 60-70% of local tax which is a little bit bollox.

I'm not convinced that fucking about with the boundary commission helps - back in 1900 there were only about 400 of 'em so, err, hmm. Also, not completely convinced about having provincial governments - why can't they just have local dudes doing stuff and returning MP's and paying Cllrs off like the good old days? Prescott spent a tonne on regional government only for Yorkshire to tell him to piss off - wtf he thought the buildings were for beats me!

Anonymous said...

Be my guest, Mr Ishmael. And thank you for the sentiment.