Friday 11 February 2011

FROM THE DIPLOMATIC BAG. MESSAGE FOR DR CABLE.

It reeks more of mr verge's rank imaginings than mr edgar's normally sober observations but it is the latter, yesterday,  who prompted my vision of   coalitionees actual going rotten, hacking with blades at themselves and at each others septic limbs,  their rottenness made flesh. I thought I should share it with the old dancing queen, himself.   I am sure he won't give a flying pirhouette.
email to cablev@parliament.uk
from callmeishmael@live.co.uk
subject: BBC Radio Four PM Programme, 9th February 2011
Dear Minister
One  wonders how, daily, in your case, a man finds new ways in which to debase himself; your performance on yesterday's PM programme reveals that the depth to which humankind may sink in the pursuit of ambition is fathomless; one thought that former  prime minister Snot had sunk as deep as was possible, parading his unfortunate family and bleating of his bogus moral compass; your recent, pathetic conduct has, however,  revealed him to  have been merely  paddling in the shallows of  self-debasement.

This is how people speak of you:

........The cognitive dissonance in the minds of Cable, Clegg et al. must be of a mind-destroying magnitude. There is a fellow in the States who, while wandering in the wilderness, got caught in a landslide: his arm was trapped under a large boulder. After 6 days trapped, he cut off his own arm with a knife, not, he claims, to save his life - he thought he would die anyway - but because the stench of the decaying flesh so repelled him. It can't be long for Cable, now.
You might salvage a shred, cling to a fibre of self respect by resigning swiftly and denouncing this gang of thieves, pimps and slags which you have joined  and fostered - people may yet forgive an elderly man his irrepressible vanity, his vulgar exhibitionism; making a fool of oneself on Cruelty TeeVee is one thing but pissing on the poor is another, and public opinion is not yet governed by  the TV critics of the Sun, although, thanks to you, it soon may be - or you can continue as you are and inhabit History's unforgiving manuscript as  a man utterly  estranged from  principle, unshamelable, foxtrotting on tne faces of the  weak  and the disabled, vandalising the libraries and withdrawing the wheelchairs, merely that he might be called minister - and an unprecedentedy  chastised, reduced and demoted minister, at that, humiliated by both his master and his master's master - more wet fart than nuclear option; resign or go - fearfully soon -  to your grave  derided, mocked and worthless, Greed's plaything, a sorry turn in a grisly circus. Pull yourself together, man, you're a national laughing stock.

Yours,
Ishmael Smith

12 comments:

Dr Kellyah, getting ready for an evening walk said...

Thus we end our Valentine Day Broadcast. Next: an exlusive interview with Mammon entitled 'a bumper harvest in the USSR,... what?...sorry, in the UK'

Mike said...

Poetry Mr I; wasted on the old queen.

PT Barnum said...

Ouch! But a bravura communication. How thick a hide would one need to merely shrug that off? I guess we will find out.

the noblest prospect said...

Never fear, Smith is here.

Bravo, sir.

black hole sunset said...

A most satisfying broadside.

Hurray!!

mongoose said...

Poor old Vince, eh? Who'd be poor old Vince. All that cheating and lying, all that shit eaten, and for what? Was it for this that clay grew tall?

yardarm said...

Direct hits in the magazine that should blast this pathetic old hulk from the water. It won`t but don`t cease fire.

Anonymous said...

As an aside, and to mark the last witness being called to the Iraq Inquiry, Mr Mongoose, given your quotation from Owen's poetry, may I mention Britten's War Requiem. If you have not yet heard it, please wait patiently for a live performance by a reliable set of performers, and go to weep silently for "The pity of war, the pity war distilled." One of the greatest choral works of the Twentieth bloody Century, I suggest.
...............................................

It's a loose connection to Cable, but it's the same sort of 'moral elasticity' that would see us into war, yet again, to fritter away more blood and treasure than, even, we lost in Iraq.

lilith said...

Sometimes you just have to tell them how it is.

mongoose said...

I shall keep an ear to the ground for it, Mr Anonymous.

Anonymous said...

If you can make it, and perhaps catch a couple of museums while you're all there, Mr M, this would be one to go for. Don't leave it too long, though:

http://lso.co.uk/page/144/Britten+War+Requiem/226

mongoose said...

Thank-you, Mr Anonymous, I - we - will be there, if I am spared. The IWM needs doing and there are acres yet of the Brit to see.