Sunday, 6 February 2011



"We shall fight them in the corner shops, we shall fight them in the mosques and in the cash'n'carry warehouses, we shall fight them in the balti houses and in the unemployment offices and in the libraries, we shall fight them at the schoolgate. We shall never surrender. And if the Coalition last a thousand days, men will still say, They Were Shit." David Dumbfuck, unelected PM of the UK

No, love, you have it all wrong. We hate wogs, too, said the LibDem's ( keep out of Mr Murdoch's)  Business Seckatry, the pathetic, sorry-assed tosser, Dr Vince Foxtrot.

His remarks followed on his leader, Hosni Winston bin Cameron, speechifying to the effect that The only way people will vote for me is if I do some wog-bashing.
Now it's all very well people saying that we always supported  multiculturalism, said the quickstepping buffoon, Cable, but that was before we came into govament with our partners to provide some very stronganstable govament, in the interests of our pensions, I mean the nation.  Now that we are in govament quite clearly nothing we said before matters. And I do wish, if I may say so, Kirsty, that  people would simply understand this, he continued, in that irritable, I-know-best way  of his, the cunt;  I mean, it's not rocket science - if it was I wouldn't understand it, my skill, indeed my doctorate, did I mention I'm a doctor, Kirsty,  is in the area of adding-up and taking-away, but mainly taking away.

Och,  willya just get on wi' it, the noo, ya creepy old git? I wannae get on wi' ma arts roond-up programme,  paintins an' books an' that, wi' all they wankers...

Quite. No, wogs are just rubbish and should all be deported;  that way decent white English people can have the jobs, not that there are any, and people will vote Tory again, in droves, I mean Coalition, I mean LibDem, we are two very distinct parties you know, Kirsty, with very different approaches,

 Just shutthefuckup and do as you're told, you mad old ponce
or you'll be back dancing for a living.
Yes sir, of course, sir, as you say, sir.

Mr bin Cameron tells us what we really think and then we think it, you can't get more separate than that, two separate parties joined together in  bashing the poor, the sick, the old, the NHS, Education and now the wogs. Did I say wogs, enquired the foxtrotting nitwit, well, of course what I meant to say, not that I mean anything, if you know what I mean, Kirsty, what I meant to say was Muslem wogs. They're the ones who did 9/11 and 7/7 and fuck knows what else. The niggers are ok, too stupid really to cause trouble, just let them eat that salt fish shit, smoke that ganja and  put Paul Boateng in the house of lords, no problem with the darkies; the Jews, fuck me, they run everything don't they, and the Indians, the Hindus and the other ones, what are they called, Jains, is it, no, Sikhs, the beardy bastards, they're good guys really, throw the widow on the fire, maybe, and let the cows shit on the bedroom carpet but apart from that they're great and they make this a vibrant, what's the word, multi-cultural society. Excuse me, Kirsty, there's a message here for me, from the prime minister..... no..... no, I see. Sorry, Kirsty, multicultural society is shit, at least if Muzzies are part of the multi-, otherwise it's fine, a multi-cultural society except Muslems. We're gonna root them out, as if they were benefits scroungers, which they are, too, as well as being horrible terrorist bastards, workshy, apart from running shops and cash'n'carry places and well, different. We don't want different people getting away with it, do we, being different, it's as bad, in my book, as being disabled? Now, will you do me the pleasure of  a quick handjob, I mean waltz, please, Kirsty; I am a bit of a celebrity. you know.

Mr Eric Thug, of the Nutters Defence League,

said, David, David, David, 'e's our man. Y'know, Mrs, it does my ole 'eart good to see a prime minister standing up for white people an' strirrin' up racial 'atred, like a good un, an' me an' me mates'll definitely be voting next time for David Wossisname, even if 'e is a toff an' as fick as two short planks.

At the Filth-O-Graph message boards, two hundred raving mad, wimmen-hating rednecks burnt themselves to death in joyous celebration, Oh, fuck me, said Mr Brian ThickHead, an ex-patriot, living in Spain,


Ex-patriot Filth-O-Graph commenters relaxing of an afternoon. RuleBritannia.
And no wimmen allowed.

This is better than a referendum on Europe, which is what he promised all of us rednecks, as he pressed a flaming Swan Vestas to his his petrol-soaked jeans. I can die happy now. Well, not exactly happy, I don't really do happy.

Elsewhere at the Filth-O-Graph...

Simon Heffer, the resident apoplectic said......

Taking on the Muslems, featherbedded and dare I say it, unnatural excresences on traditional English, and yes, I do mean English and not some ungracious, irreverent, inbred, misbegotten and polyglot society is perhaps the first occasion that CallHimDave has risen to the challenge of his august office and towards meeting the desires of, dare I say it, his fellow countrymen.  Hardworking, productive, scribbling, tubthumping layabouts such as, dare I say it, your correspondent,  have for too long supported via our taxes an idle and increasingly large national complement of people who do not read my column in the Filth-O-Graph or pay attention to my appearances on such popular shows as Question Time, Any Questions and...that's about it.  And it is high time, continued Billy Bunter, eyes bulging, tiny penis vaguely tumescent, high time, my God, sir, more than high time  they were driven from Her Majesy's glorious realm. If they need hanging, I'm man enough to tie the noose and pull the lever, by George I am. But I grow weary of telling Dave that the only remedy for the British economy is that I should pay absolutely no tax whatsoever, it's simply the least that I am entitled to. Muslems? Burn 'em out, 'tain't natural.

Coming up next, coincidentally,  on skymadeupnewsandfilth, those filthy Paki cricket cheats. Stay tuned.


Tam O' Shitonher said...

It was surreal seeing Krusty Wank reciting Burns poems as part of STV's Burns Night celebrations.
Burns hated everything she stood for and would have rolled her up with his 'parcel o' rogues' who betrayed Scotland and thrown her into the sea.

Verge said...

Did I imagine it or was Cummer's speech delivered in Munich? One of those hidden-in-plain-view little jokes? Such a relief that our betters have a cheeky sense of the macabre, nein?

mrs narcolept said...

I doubt if CMD has any idea what Munich might signify, mr verge; he seems to me someone who has an entirely disposable mind, use once and then throw away.

My dear mr narcolept has just turned the kitchen telly on to watch American football for some reason. The opening speech included JFK, Martin Luther King and nineleven. Never knowingly understated, are they?

call me ishmael said...

Ah, now, don't start me about Kirsty, please don't.

Didn't I mention, before, mr verge, that, CallHimDave has the face and the bearing that really belong atop a Panzer, one with a flamethrower, approaching a Russian village?

I think he might dimly associate Munich with an Olympic Games thingy but his throwaway mind probably goes back no further. Hitler, didn't President Kennedy defeat him for us?

It's not a joke, then, the American Football thing, on the Beeb? The sporty hand of Murdoch, it's everywhere, the BBC more conscious of him than of us.