Monday, 28 February 2011



Famous for his roles as torturer, arsonist, child killer, bomber and mass murderer, Gerry gave a moving speech on receiving his award from the people of Louth.

It's all about the little people, so it is, and I wouldn't be here without them, so I wouldn't, grinned the man who starred in the deaths of three thousand people and the maimings of tens of thousands.  There's just so many of them, so there is, there's them wee lads in Warrington, and all them people in the Birmingham pubs, aye, and there's that wee woman I buried alive, not far from here, and your man, Captain Nairac, I starred opposite him in Torture of an Officer, directed by my good friend, Marty Kneecaps, he really brings out the best in me, Marty, you shoulda heard yon bastard scream, as we sliced him to pieces;  it was a great piece of performance art, even though it was real, so it was.  I am just so grateful, so I am, to the people of Ireland for finally recognising the work I have been doing all these years and I promise to dedicate myself to keeping my noncing brother safe from prosecution by giving him a starring role in the ongoing marvel that is Sinn  Fein, and where nobody can touch him. A final word of appreciation to our dear friend and fellow Man of God, the right reverend Tony Blair of Libya, without whom this great award wouldn't have been possible, so it wouldn't.  And I would have been in jail where I belong, so I do.

In London, the pretend Chancellor, Mr George Osblow, said that Mr Adams' honour was all the more reason that money stolen from Bristish taxpayers should be funnelled to  financial terrorists, aka the Irish Banks.  Ireand is a great friend of ours, having bombed us unfailingly for nearly  forty years and supported Mr O'Hitler in the last war; we must, therefore,  support their bankers just as  staunchly as we support our own;  eight billion pounds, after all,  in the scheme of things, is fuck all.


mongoose said...

Paddies, eh? What are they like? They struggle for 800 years to get the English off their backs. They more or less manage it and then they sell their souls - and their children's souls - to become O'Europeans. One would have expected that, given their history, the Irish would be sophisticated political wee fellows but they are just a gang of simpering children doing as their political and religious daddies tell them.

The single unifying thought on the whole sodden, bewhiskered, Godbothering bog of it is that they hate the fecking English. Will you take another glass, Father?

Dick the Prick said...

"The regime being imposed on Ireland is utterly unrealistic. A depressed and deeply indebted economy with just 1.8 million people at work cannot underwrite private banking liabilities of €200bn."

Observer Editorial

Seems like a reasonable point. Anywho, those kneecaps won't blow themselves off and scatter over a large area all by themselves what what! Hmmm...

call me ishmael said...

Lots of patriot nancyboys over at the Observer, mr dtp, all praising the struggle, the hard men; all the fault of the English, all that kneecapping and protection racketeering.

Dick the Prick said...

To be fair to Colonel von Fawkes he has been doing some work recently, no, honest - not invent, into the murky world that is the Guardian's tax status and the utter fucking duplicity of the cunts in using every avenue to avoid paying anything, really.

I just don't understand the sheer gall of it all. Being a quite provincial chap and (hopefully) not being a complete wanker but it's akin to Simon 'shirtlifter' Hughes, 'look here, you, look here - he's a gayer is this one, don't vote for him, he likes cock' and then bounding then the bournville boulevard himself. I'm defo one for taking the piss but not as a fucking shield; it's just so lazy if nothing else, so lacking in anything innovative or heaven forfuckingfend refined. Ho hum.

Edgar said...

Am Oscar for past performances? Yes, Mr Ishmael. But if the above picture tells a story, surely it is of a man who is elated at being freed from Belfast, freed from Northern Irish tribal warfare, masquerading as politics, and freed from the poisonous destiny he seemed chained to. The joy is genuine: the relief almost tangible. A very happy ex-monster is what I see.

call me ishmael said...

The Guardian's tax status, Arsebridger's salary, the Autocar connection are old hat, mr dtp; maybe von Fawkes is raking it over to avoid having to deal with his absurd, misplaced enthusiasm for and wrong headed misunderstanding of the catastrophe-bound Irish economy which he held out as an example to all, just a couple of years back. And now look at it.

I don't share others' understanding of Irish tribalism; I think most here understand it better than I, mr edgar. I can just never get past the so-called Peace Proh-cess which made statesmen of sadistic thugs on all sides; I simply cannot tolerate the notion that what are otherwise grave crimes can be neutralised by an assumed political motivation; either killing people is wrong or it isn't. On the War on Terrorism front, doesn't the Ulster Peace Proh-cess entirely legitimise the wholesale slaughter of defenceless civilian populations ?

You may be right, that Adams has, as far as he is concerned, shed his murderer's skin and become a legitimate parliamentarian - although the two words are, to many, mutually exclusive - I still think him a foul, rank, monstrous bastard, and bollocks to anyone who blethers about the Struggle, the same Boyo population which was happy to condone massacre in the North, cowedly voting Yes when Europe demanded.

I retain my Irish passport but unlike Fawkes's, my dual citizenship was ever a hat-tip to irony.

mongoose said...

I have a Paddy Pass too, Mr I, but in my case a trip to a possibly cheaper tertiary education for my wains. Fat chance of that now, alas.

Indeed, killing people, Mr Adams, is either wrong or it is not. The fucking island is a testament to moral relativism. The noise of weeping over a potato famine wain of yesteryear equal to the decibel level of rebel songs yelled over the coffins of Warrenpoint or the Tavern in the Town. Hang them all. McKneecaps first. They've been a blight on the intellect of the whole fucking country since it was bastard born in the Twenties.

jgm2 said...

I think the idea with the 'Peace Process' was akin to the 'Peace and Reconciliation' idea they came up with in SA. Ie that terrible things were done by people who were still alive but the only way these folk would agree to 'Peace' was if everybody turned a blind eye to their past crimes. Let bygones be bygones and all that.

Just as Gaddafi's pals are determined to fight to the last drop of your blood on the simple grounds that they are unlikely to be forgiven for what they've been up to for the past 40+ years.

Now, if my mum or dad or brother or sister or son or daughter had been blown into small bite-sized chunks by Gerry and his pals I'd be very disinclined to turn the other cheek. However, that's pretty much what we, as a society, have done. Bought off Gerry and his pals. For the greater good.

And, also for the greater good, to pretend that our earlier capitulation worked, suppressed all the news from the North that shows that proto-Gerry and proto-Billy are still at it fucking hammer and tongs like the gangsters they are. Culminating a couple of years ago in them murdering some chap collecting a pizza at his army base. They may have killed the pizza delivery boy too pour encourager les autres.

That was bad enough but the BBC went over to vox-pop the local area and found some spittingly incoherent jackass, who must have been about 18, expressing, near as I could make out through his impenetrable accent and head-splitting fuckwittery, that it was entirely proper to shoot British soldiers who were 'occupying' the land.

The kid poisoned and twisted a full 10 or 12 years after all this shit had been (largely) put behind us. Showered with money and passports to get the fuck out of there and head to America and still they're there, invincible in their entrenched victimhood and idiocy.

Another generation of cunts ready to plant a bomb or take a cheap shot from a tower block.

I would have paid good money to see the cameraman put down his camera, pull out a gun and machine-gunned the vile cunt on the spot.

Fucking horrible. To think we have to share the same planet as such vile, wicked cunts let alone the same passport.

Worse, for my sins, I was recounting the tale of the interview to my Republican sympathiser cousin, sixty-five plus years of age, born-and-bred in Canada and she excused this arsehole's behaviour on the grounds that what I was forgetting was that these people were reared in an environment of subjugation and rebellion and it was 'in their blood'. A reasonably well educated woman, a generation - indeed two generations seperated from this sectarian idiocy and still poisoned by the mythology. Her father took the first pay he got in Ireland and got on a boat to Canada. It took my dad another ten or twelve years to wake up and fuck off.

Fucking hell, if I believed for one moment that it was 'in their blood' to be such incoherent, murderous animals as opposed to learned behaviour then it would be surely better if the fuckers were wiped out with extreme prejudice.

Ireland, like Scotland is empty for a reason. It's a fucking awful place filled with fucking awful people and normal, intelligent people want nothing to do with 'em and leave.

mongoose said...

And here we all sit, Mr jgm2, in England. The odd one of us even in the best part thereof.

a young Anglo-Irish catholic said...

God help us, Mr I, but the Guardian is propped up by Autotrader, a multi-issue magazine and website for the selling of second hand motors.

Autocar is an otherwise blameless 116 year old motoring weekly magazine, owned by Hezza.

I have always been amused by the idea that Polly T's salary is paid by the hard working blue collar brummy selling his 3-series coupe.

call me ishmael said...

A slip of the digits, mr yaic, I meant AutoTrader.

That's a good rant, mr jgm2. My old man though, was a reluctant Prod - his brothers were all Masons And Orangemen and he detested all that stuff - and I remember his bile when talking about the B Specials, in particular and the RUC in general and I was there - a kid - when the civil Rights movement got hijacked by the Provos and there were very genuine abuses by the Orange majority, on top of which they were thieving, aour-faced, Godless heathenbastard fucking hypocrites. I am sure that many catholics, whether nationalist or not, had very genuine grievances and they were actually subject to a gerrymandering which not even you could excuse as equalising an imbalance - I knew businessmen in Ulster in the 'sixties who had as many votes as they had business premises, they could vote - Unionist - all over the province, it was a section of the UK which, uniquely, did not have the one-person-one-vote arrangement which we, in mainland UK, took for granted. Council housing was in the hands of Orangemen and employment opportunities were sectarianised, it was a shithole and that may go some way to explaining the entrenched hostility of those you quote; it does not, however, in my view, justify the conduct of the PIRA or the Shankill Butchers and their ilk for which most concerned, especially Gerry and Marty should have served lengthy sentences. The parallel with South Africa is facetious and those who drew it either stupid or misled. SA was an inter-racial/colonialist conflict, not a sectarian/nationalist one and the end of Apartheid signalled the birth, to all intents and purposes, of a new nation. Adams and Co can, of course, insist that Ulster is a British colony but he will meet the same lack of enthusiasm for its independence as does Mr Salmond for Scottish independence, especially now that the gem of Col von Fawkes's economic theory is a basket case.

It is a mean place, Ulster and those in the South who have succoured its villains should, well, thay should be in jail, too, and those in Boston and New York.

It is a precursor to the banking terrorism, Ulster, the criminals are put in charge and their victims told to go fuck themselves. Murderers and torturers as statesmen, party political failures occupying Downing Street, the taste of shit on our faces.

a young Anglo-Irish catholic said...

There's a simple difference. The ANC couldn't be terrorists because most people in SA didn't have the vote.

In Ireland everyone had the vote, so the IRA were terrorists. National-Socialist terrorists, of course.

call me ishmael said...

Yes, that too, of course. The whole idea of a comparability between SA and NI is churchy bollocks. I hate that fucking Tutu, even so. A fucking ghoul, like so many of them.