Monday 14 June 2010

FOR A FEW DOLLARS MORE.

MYSTERY BRIBE IN MIDDLE EAST

Usual account, is it, Tony?
That'll be kosher, Benjy, only don't tell Imelda, Oi Vay!

Mr Tony DeathWhore4Sale is seen, above, doing a deal with Israeli godfather, Benjy NetanNazi which will see a few more millions of dollars flowing into his Swiss bank account.

Mr Blair, Middle East representative of HaliburtonWarCorpULike and GangstersIncFormer USSR, has appeared on the BBC 's JesusFuckingWeptNewsService, saying that Isimplysay, peepulovBritun, that however much I hoover-up for sending our troops to the assistance of my very good friend and employer, George Bush, it is not enough. Look, decent British servicemen and women got killed in that peace-keeping operation and I deserve more than a poxy twenty million or two in return.

Look, I mean, if it wasn't for me that war wouldna happened, so,  now, lets be fair, if Benjy the Fink wants me to mumble a few incoherent promises about justice in the Middle East,  well, why shouldn't I, 'slong as the price is right? That's what I'm here for.

"For people like myself it would be far better if we were engaging with Hamas constructively and getting money off both sides. The difficulty is when Hamas are still prepared to say 'we don't give up the use of violence ...'," he said, acting for the most violent nation on Earth and it's MiddleEastOil proxy, The NazisOfJerusalem.

"I hope they decide they do want to be part of it (the peace process) because the door is open if they want to go through it," he added, with his winning sixth-former smile. "And get shot through the forehead at close range, on the other side."

And may I simply say to your listeners that if they have any peacekeeping they want done, or people killing, then I still have some connections.  That'll be fifteen hundred guineas, please.

5 comments:

Mustapha said...

Why did he not get the same treatment as Saddam?

mongoose said...

And, oh look, Afghanistan appears to have miraculously discovered oodles of buried dosh-making goodies. You could have knocked me down with a feather, Mr Halliburtonbastard.

call me ishmael said...

Ever the cynic, mr mongoose, we are not there to help Uncle Sam steal minerals but to get girls into school, bet yer ass we are.

mongoose said...

A trillion is a very big number, Mr Ishmael. Well worth a war or two.

call me ishmael said...

Isn't it the same sort of sum as your average dinner lady gets in her copper-bottomed and unaffordable public sector pension; that's what Mr Clegg, the Reformer, says, anyway, and if you can't trust a public schoolboy, who can you trust?