Wednesday 23 June 2010

DON'T MOTHERFUCKER ME, MOTHERFUCKER.

FROM THE WHITE HOUSE

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Now listen up, Mr President Motherfucker, Suh!

No, you fuckin'well well listen up to me, you motherfucking General Stanley McChrystal fuckin' Motherfucker.

Suh! President Motherfucker, Suh.

That's better, General Motherfucker, but maybes if y'all could just remember that is only one person here in the Oval Office gonna be doin' any a that motherfuckin' shit, and who, General McMotherfucker, do we all think that motherfucker is?

Why, Suh! President Motherfucker, that's you, Suh! You are  certainly the main motherfucker round here.

'Snot exactly what I meant soldier, what I meant was that there was only one person in here could call another person motherfucker and that, motherfucker, was me. And not you, motherfucker. Am I making myself perfectly motherfuckin' clear, General McMotherfucker.

Suh! President Motherfucker, Suh!

Now then, stand easy, soldier, these niggers, over here in Aghanistan....

Suh! President Motherfucker, Suh! Permission to speak, Suh!

Carry on, motherfucker, but next time one a you sonsafuckinbitches done break my flow of thought for no good reason I'm gonna bust his motherfuckinass down to motherfuckin private, do we now understand  each other, motherfucker?


But, Suh, you said the word, the word no-ones allowed to say no more on account of all the African Americans being President and everything, Suh, Suh!

What word?

Suh, that word, Suh, the N word.

What? Nigger?

Well that's all they are ain't it, motherfucker, worthless crazy niggers, livin' in the Stone Age, what I wanna know is why you ain't kicking them useless niggers asses up  and down the road? Fuck me sideways til Thanksgivin, they only got motherfuckin' catapults and shitbombs and ride around on fuckin' camels, motherfuckin' camels, it's right, I seen it on CNN and they live in tents jerking each other off for Allah, or some shit like that, and when they're not doin' that motherfuckin' shit, they're digging fuckin' holes in the fuckin' ground and burying some poor broad in the motherfuckin' thing and  throwing fucking rocks at her.  I mean General McMotherfucker, these Talimen, they're fuckin' savages, right, and with the whole might of the United States Military Industrial Complex at  your disposal you can't dent the ambition of these no-good nigger bastards??

Suh!.....

Shuddup to fuck, Mother fucker. And on top of all that bodybag shit, motherfuckin grunts coming home in boxes quicker than we make the fuckin' things, on top of all that shit - and lemme tellya soldier, each dead grunt is one less vote for me - on top of that, motherfucker, you are badmouthin' me to some shit hack from some magazine, just like I was some dumb nigger, like those ones making a monkey of us in Afghanistan, as though I wasn't your Commander in motherfuckin' Chief, motherfucker.  Like you was the Goddamned president and I was the Goddamned nigger bastard travelling on the back of the bus.

Well, motherfucker, the buck stops here. And so do you. You're off the case, motherfucker, relieved of your command.

Suh! But Suh! You can't do that......

Yes, motherfucker, we can.

And with that the next Republican Presidential candidate left the Oval Office.  For now.

5 comments:

Roger said...

Isn't it time it was ALL crossed out and we should all go back and start again?

Old Holborn said...

I love the way we are throwing away 300 British lives "to build a state" the Afghanis neither want, need or asked for.

Give them democracy Obama, good and hard. Till the last child is dead, give it to 'em good.

then get them picking cotton....

mongoose said...

The Afghan War is a fucking insanity, Mr OH. The Victorian Brits couldn't hold it, the Russians couldn't hold it, and now we are failing again. It is just killing young lads to no purpose. Well, except oil and money, that is.

Dick the Prick said...

Top quality muddafucking prose, muddafucker. Cheers

a young Anglo-Irish catholic said...

If we want to stop turrists, trained in the 'Ghan from getting into the UK, but the motherfucking army at Heathrow's passport control.