Tuesday, 1 June 2010


My fellow motherfuckers.

As president of the United States I want you to know that I stand foursquare against piracy on the high seas.  The oceans of this  great American planet are, and should be, open to all people of goodwill, whether Muslim or...well, one of the other ones, those very great religions by which man approaches, in humility,  God and FreeMarket Capitalism.

Each and everyone of us should be able to travel the oceans of this beautiful planet without having heavily-armed psychobastard MommasBoy, head-bangin'  religious-maniac circumcised Neo-Nazi motherfuckers come abseiling down on our heads, shooting at us with Uzi machineguns and haulin' our black asses off to be torture-interrogated  for Je-fuckin-hovah in some Tel Aviv shithole.

And this is why, motherfuckers, I have telephoned that great friend of America, Israeli Prime minister, Benny the fink Netanyahu,

and assured him that he can do just whatever the fuck he wants in the Mediterranean.  Set fire to it if he wantsta. Them people on the Gaza Strip, they's worse than niggers's what they are and they should get decent, American nigger-treatment - starvin',  fire-bombin', watercannonin',  teargassin', pistolwhippin' -  shit, man, lynch some a them raghead sonsafuckingbitches  and burn 'em on the fiery cross, 'swhat they need.

I will be sending Secretary Hillary Trousers on a peace-keeping, roadmapping mission around the states in this TroubledByIsrael region with my express authority to use the United States Sixth Fleet against anyone disagreeing with President von Netanyahu and his enligtened, democratic policy of Blitkrieg.  And stealing all the money, too, mustn't forget that, brutality AND corruption, the twin unshakeable pillars of US foreign policy. In  God We Trust. And napalm.

Goodnight, my fellow motherfuckers. God bless America and Have Negilah.


lilith said...

Only Obamamessiah can save us now.

forthurst said...

According to Staphanie Gutmann (one of the Wessex Gutmanns?) in the Torygraph, "the attack on Israeli sailors who attempted to board the “peace ship” was carried out by men armed with pistols and knives, probably members of the hardcore Islamic Turkish group that organised the blockade run".

So there you have it. They weren't commandos but jolly jack tars intent on entertainment with hornpipes and sea shanties and grog and ships biscuits with kosher weavils for all. It could have been such fun: abseiling out of the darkness, surprising and delighting the audience just like in the old days before nuliebore abolished the Royal Tournament.

But what are Mommas for? They packed those knapsacks with favourite Hamas sandwiches and then Uzis just in case: those terrists will need to get up pretty damned early to steal a march on us.

(It is sad to note that the Autocue known as Obama's brain is infected with the alCIAda virus and is currently operating wildly off message.)

call me ishmael said...

Yeah, these Turkish bastards, how dare they defend themselves?

The autocue known as Obama's brain, that's absolutely right, everything proofread in advance, edited. It was quite clear when he visited Louisianna's oily beaches in his best shirtsleeves last week, he was choreographing the press photographers and film crews "dunno if you guys wanna get a shot of me down here, in my shirtsleeves, these are the oily tarballs, right, see me pick 'em up, and roll 'em around in my fingers, like so? Hands-on Mr President, that's me. Did y'all get the shirtsleeves element of my strategy ? That's cool. "

call me ishmael said...

Gosh, a ree-tard, capital letters, too, wow, there's angry.