Tuesday, 8 June 2010


I see no reason whatsoever, in my capacity as Murdoch Schools Secretary, none whatsoever, that we do not immediately start teaching our children Inuit, I mean, why should they, as a result of Labour incompetence, be denied the opportunity of learning the seventy-three words for snow, which their Eskimo peers enjoy. And I have today written to all the igloos inviting those suitably qualified to tender for the teaching of Inuit, up to and including degree standard, and beyond,  to all our schoolchildren, immediately  If it's good enough for the Canadians, I say, it's good enough for us.

What's that? My Head, Extraterrestrial? No,it's always been this shape.

Next week: snowshoe lessons for the underprivileged.


Anonymous said...

Well said, it's my right Inuit?

a young Anglo-Irish catholic said...

Fuck me, he's an irritating bastard. But if he can loose the LEA's stranglehold from the throats of a few hundred schools we might have a chance of training some people to run the country properly.

Fuck me, the Frogs have a republic and liberty and egality and still have INSEAD and the ENARQUEs.

We just get a load of essayists from CuntBridge and the RussellGroup trying to run a whole country. Fuck me.

Anonymous said...

Mr. Ishmael, Thank you for pointing out the educational advantages of our enlightened new Government looking to Canada and it's policy of blowing up hospitals. We look forward to Canadian solutions for our economy across a range of difficulties.Fortunately, global warming will divert the Gulf Stream so that in the Northern UK territories, the population will take to ice fishing, Aviemore will have a resurgence of its skiing industry, hunting polar bears displaced from their usual habitat will replace grouse shooting, and those of our citizens in receipt of the State pension will earn their keep by chewing on hides to soften them.

call me ishmael said...

State pensions, bah. These are only for the workshy, although, in the new spirit of PR politics, we will consult widely before abolishing them. It's what the people want, what they voted for, shit, all over their heads.