Saturday, 5 June 2010


We are instructed to celebrate much that is unwholesome but Gerry 'n' Cilla, the famous ventriloquism act,  are in a league of their own.

Wonderful parents, they modestly claim, they left their infant daughter alone, in charge of two younger infants, in a strange room, in a strange apartment in a strange, foreign  city with a transient population. They then securely locked her in or didn't lock her in, depending on when they tell the story and which they think sounds best. They then went professionally and responsibly drinking with some professional and responsible co-drinkers, all of whom were agreed that leaving infants alone in these circumstances was a very responsible thing to do. They were in line of sight of the apartment in which the children were locked, or not locked, it's just that no-one else's vision works that way; to most people, well, everyone apart from Gerry 'n' Cilla, the apartment is not in line of sight of their drinking, sorry tapas and drinks table, and even if it were, one would only see the back of the apartment and not the front, where the door was.

Some time later, when the child was missing, Gerry 'n' Cilla delayed contacting the police until they had appointed a UK PR team and contacted family and friends in the UK and until after their reponsible, professional co-drinkers had rampaged all over the crime scene. Throughout their own interviews with the police they refused to answer some forty questions and have, with the help of skilled and hugely expensive media professionals - paid for by charitable donation -  been able to shift the blame for their own conduct onto the Poruguese police;  thay have also, from charitable donations, paid off their mortgage. In these days of Ruin theirs is probably a justified celebrity.

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Gerry'n' Cilla pose for snappers.
No such thing as bad publicity.

The Text: Three minutes with Mr and Mrs McCann

How are you? All things considered, we are doing OK. When your child is missing, time is not a healer.  The pain and anxiety remain but we are feelings srong and as determined as ever to find our little girl.

What are your summer plans? It will be nice to spend some time at home but we will go and visit family and friends too, while we have the chance.

How are the twins? They are just brilliant. They are coming up to the end of their firts year in school and have settled really well.  They are incredibly happy, funny and confident children and we are very proud of them.

The McCanns, Gerry 'n' Cilla, 
among fellow celebrities. Bless.

The McCann Charity is still open for business, 
should readers wish to donate.

HT mr a young anglo-irish catholic.


Anonymous said...

Gerry 'n' Cilla delayed contacting the police until they had appointed a UK PR team and contacted family and friends in the UK" Is this really true?

call me ishmael said...

It is really true. I don't believe that either of the McCanns denied that they phoned the UK and appointed lawyers and PR before phoning the cops, that they didn't immediately search for Madeleine or that Gerry, in his calls to family and in-laws was adamant that Madeleine had been abducted.

I will try to find you a complete chronology of events but I do believe that Kirsty Wark knew of the child's disappearnace before the Portugeezers did.

Anonymous said...

In that's the case and this were a game of Cludo I would say the parents did it by mistake in the bedroom with sleeping pills.

P.T. Barnum said...

So either this pair think strategically (and inappropriately) at the speed of light or they'd indulged in a little pillow talk that began 'What if...'. Not much of a choice of interpretation, that one.

Living in the same TV region as the lovely couple we get a lot of local coverage. So far no one has ever asked if the twins are on the 'at risk' register. Journalists, eh?

Anonymous said...

Goncalo Amarel has been portrayed by the newsmadeupandfilth in this country as a bumbling, drunken, uneducated and, worst of all, foreign cop.

That does not fit my perception of him as a professional detective, who had probably come to understand much of human nature during his career. He may or may not be the best cop that Portugal has to offer, but he appeared to me to display considerable tenacity in trying to solve what he suspected might have been a most unpleasant crime (or series of crimes.)

I think he was deliberately trashed for various political reasons, and of course the media gravy train is still in no hurry to reach the station.

Mr Amarel and his family are the ones for whom my sympathy flows - it was not their idea to leave a young child and two infants alone.


I'm sure you have better sources than me, Mr Ishmael, but there is some quite good stuff (witness statements etc) on

and, for an example of the darker things,

call me ishmael said...

Thanks, I have no sources other than sceptical curiosity and those who foregather here, I'll have a look at those sites.

Dangerous talk, that, everybody knows it's the fault of the Portugeezer cops.

mongoose said...

I think that that, Mr Anonymous, is pretty much what happened. Criminal error turned into horrible freak-show by panic and madness. At least, I hope that that is what happened.

Anonymous said...

Who said crime doesn't pay?