This Shit In The Gulf business is proving hard to take. Merkins are having trouble voicing their anxious resentment over the oil seepage but most of them, mind, sound as though they'd have trouble voicing their name and address.
There is an incoherent and endless whine, Dopplering from the Gulf of Mexico, all around the world; I swear I heard it down on my Scottish shore, this evening. It went whine-whine-whine-whine-whine, good ole boys, whine-whine-whine-whine-whine, peepul iz hurtin', whine-whne-whine-whine-whine, theyz hurtin' reel bad.
Even PROTUS is joining in the chorus of dissent, even though it's actually against himself. He done already said YesWeCan and here we all iz, up to our asses in this filthy fuckin' shit and businesses is closin' and livelihoods is bein' lost and alls he can say is Well, MaybeWeCanButProblyWeCain't, what kinda shit is that? I knows folks whats been fishing here in the Gulf for, Oh, mebbe three or four years, now, and now thay cain't, unfuckingAmerkin, that's what it is. I ain't no racist, Sir, but fuck me sideways til Thanksgivin' I allus said we shouldn't have no nigger bastard in the White House, didn I allus say that Thaddeus, Thaddeus here's my neighbour an' he's a good ole boy, jes like me, didn I allus say that, about them nigras, ain't that why they call the motherfuckin' place the Goddamned White House? What's the pointa having them monkeys livin' in there and swingin' offa them chandeliers and shittin' all over the Oval Office, they got monkey children, too, them Obamas, I done seen 'em, on the TeeVee. Disfuckinsgustin 'swhat it is.
Anyway, the home of Liberty and Waterboarding is shitting itself over this e-co-logical disaster and especially over the sang-froid of Mr Tony, the BP chief executive; seems he should be rolling around in the shit, flailing himself with a rolled-up Stars and Stripes and not just trying to stop the flow. Seems that here is someone that the Obamessiah can take a swing at, despite, five minutes ago, him saying that anyone with a bucket and spade can come and dig for oil off America's shores. Energy security he called it. What it means, my fellow motherfuckers. is us, God's chosen people, the last great hope of humanity (no, he really does say all this shit) here, where change has come, in the form of my black ass, us being independent of them other motherfuckers, who we will extend a hand of freedom to, just as long as they do what I tell 'em the fuck to do, Merka's energy needs come first and foremost in my administration of change. And that's why we gonna dig up the ocean floor and fill Merka's cars with cheap yankee gas, Yessiree, yee-haw. Only trouble is now he's running around like a headless fucking chicken saying the exact opposite. Just like you'd expect.
It is a revolting sight, those birds, all choking in oil and God knows what happening in the ocean, the dispersant, some say, worse than the oil, itself, but, you know, Sharpshooters USA must blast millions of birds from the sky every year, firing Family Edition RPGs or .50 cal machine guns up at them varmints; Mr Red Braces on Wall Street must have made far more people unemployed and homeless than has the oil slick and Emil Jasper Beauregarde the Third, down there on the Bayou, should kiss his own ass in gratitude that he wasn't living in Iraq, under constant bombardment from uranium-depleted munitions, those great Uncle Sam messages to the future, the ones which bring cancers and widespread birth defects - now, fuck me, there's an ecologocal disaster; mind you, was Saddam Hussein himself snuck into the Twin Towers and planted them explosives, so's them buildings'd just fall plumb down outa the sky in they own footprints; once the planes had crashed into 'em, that is, and even when they didn't, know what I'm sayin', Jim? The only thing we coulda done was go in there and steal all that motherfuckin' oil offof 'em - that's what democracy's all about.
And that's not to mention all the gangraping and drive-by shootins and fun an' games in the Abu Ghraib penitentiary which the Merkin peepul've kindly exported to Eye-rack. Why some ayrab . just walkin out there on the street, got an even chance a gettin his head blowed off, just for the Hell of it, by some of our fine mercenary boys operatin' out there, and even by the Oh-fishul KKK Regiment a the US Air Cavalry, pouring some a that sweet hot death down on their nigger heads, shit, ain't democracy just the best thing ever. Apart from
the Free Market as understood by them LImey fucks at Bee fuckin Pee.
These whining rednecks have been very happy, like all their patriot motherfucking neighbours, to use as much, more, oil than anybody else on the planet, they have wanted more of it and they have wanted it cheaper; they have been delighted to work for the oil companies, one of which they now lambaste, the Southern States have been Oil States for over a century and now, fuck me, Jesus, brothers and sisters, the oil done bit them in the ass, they're all sounding like a branch meeting of the Scottish Green Party and the lamebrain, airhead president is getting his ass kicked, entirely without justification, for not emoting enough, as though he should be down their on the shore, a Bible in one hand. a sixgun in the other, rebuking the waves and loosing off at the Oilmen . Oh, what a sight for sore eyes, Obama getting roughed-up, the useless gobby prick.
(The Bhopal disaster in India, in passing, was at the hands of the majority US-owned Union Carbide chemicals company; twenty five thousand have died and today, a quarter of a century on, a couple of bit players have been jailed, there has been no public outcry in the United States over this company's behaviour, but then Indians are the next worse thing to niggers, ain't they.)
Merkins might reflect that the shit they are dealing with in the Gulf is just a fraction of the shit that they export all over the world, comercially and militarily, in the pursuit of their own dumb happiness. But they won't. Is Clint Eastwood, they must be asking themselves, too old to run for the White House?