Showing posts with label S and M Britain. Show all posts
Showing posts with label S and M Britain. Show all posts

Wednesday, 12 January 2011

ELECTION NEWS.




Mr Clegg said: "It looks like it's going to be a very close race between ourselves and Labour but I fully expect Elwyn Watkins to win."
more by Nick Clegg - 9 hours ago - Mirror.co.uk (2 occurrences)

 Mr Nick Noddy, Tory gimp and DPM.

Asked what he would do if his candidate, Mr Wotsisname, lost, Mr Gimp relied, Well,  Look, just because we have an unelected govament, imposing rotten policies which no-one voted for, it doesn't mean that this isn't  a democracy.  Of course it is.  In fact, this is the very essence of democracy, shit-eating millionaires, liars, bullies, child molesters  and degenerates  doing what is best for each other.  I mean, that's as good as it gets. Are you asking me if I am a democrat? Of course I am.  I am the greatest living democrat. And in the unlikely event of Mr Wotsisname not commanding a huge majority of AlarmClock people then I and my party will be democratic about it. And challenge the result in the courts.

Mr Straight Simon Hughes? Yes, we gave him a job, commensurate with his abilities.  And that's why he doesn't get paid anything.  Keeps him happy, revolting  old queen. 


Mr Straight Simon Hughes, Universities Czar,
at the LubeDem, sorry, LibDem Christmas Party.

Friday, 3 December 2010

Monday, 25 October 2010

ALL TORIES ARE BASTARDS

 LIKE FATHER, LIKE SON.


MAUDE SENIOR, ANGUS, MP AND THEN BARON.  PRIVATE SCHOOL, OXBRIDGE, TORY PARTY. KNOWN AS THE MEKON BECAUSE OF HIS HEAD AND BECAUSE HE WAS AN UTTERLY HORRIBLE, SELFISH, OVERBEARING   TORY BASTARD.  ONE OF WHISKEY MAGGIE'S GUTLESS, GRASPING, PINSTRIPE SPIVS. DEAD, NOW, PRAISE GOD, AND ROASTING IN HELL.


MAUDE JUNIOR, MP, UTTERLY HORRIBLE, SELFISH, OVERBEARING BASTARD, 
PRIVATE SCHOOL, OXBRIDGE, TORY PARTY. 

A creature of staggering hypocrisy, Francis Maude personifies the current front bench of shiteating, public school necromancers, bullies, wideboys, chancers, pimps, slags and worthless, nauseating good for fuck all, braying layabout,  spunkfaced zombie rentboy, clueless imbecile dilletante, creepy, poxed-up, brothel dwelling, pinstripe reptiles, and Nadine Dorries.  

He was on BBC's Govament Radio tonight,Maude, the Westminster Hour, peddling measured, I-Know-Best justification for  the reversal of civilised values, he didn't come into politics to do this, and in that slimy logic which they deploy, insisting that the people voted enthusiastically for this coup d'etat shitfest, sent a message, in fact,  loud and clear - sack us, steal our money, give it to the rich, repossess our homes, bulldoze our dreams, rebalance the economy, please, we have too much, take it from us, make us poor, we can take it, set us, each against the other. We were all in it together, he was feeling the pain, millionaire Francis, hurting, he was; it was a performance of studied deception, of towering,  Brownite monstrosity,  the obnoxious, sermonising,  infallibility which so characterised the SnotEater's mad rants now employed by his successors in Ruin, probably practised by the narcissist Maude in front of his mirror, as he glues his  receding hairline in place and tapes his ears down, carefully wiping the shit from his lips, with a linen napkin, practice makes perfect, watch my lips.  A  banker, a pornographer, a fairweather egalitarian, this wretch knows nothing of work or effort or industry, knows nothing but shabby usury, knowing whispers and secret handshaeks; knows nothing, trades nothing but cheesy, soundbite dissembling and like his rotten, repulsive father, disguises  his ruthless class warfare  as firm but fair, national interest patriotism; a natural,  born with a shitspoon in his mouth.

This, below,  is from his wiki entry, most of it incontrovertible, matters of fact.  The last line - in Personal Life - says it all, really, about him;  what it says about us, though, is  rather more pungent, cowed, barracked, mesmerised, dragooned and  brainwashed we entertain this foul, brutal  piece of shit and hope  that his greed is, somehow,  our salvation. We,  once the heroic, stand-alone Brits, shuffle, trousers down, before the likes of Francis Maude, nodding sagely  at his vicious, ruinous, idiot claptrap.

--------

........In a 2006 interview, Maude admitted that the introduction of Section 28 legislation whilst he was in government (which banned councils from promoting homosexuality and led to the closure of gay support groups) was "a mistake", saying it could have contributed to the death from HIV of his homosexual brother, Charles, and many others.[3]

[edit] Out of Parliament

Out of Parliament after the 1992 general election, Maude began a series of business roles. He worked in banking as Managing Director at Morgan Stanley from 1993 to 1997. He was also appointed a non-executive director of ASDA Group Plc in July 1992, and served as a director of Salomon Brothers from 1992 to 1993. He also chaired the government's Deregulation Task Force from 1994 to 1997.

[edit] Shadow cabinet

In the 1997 general election Maude was elected MP for Horsham. Almost immediately he was re-appointed to the Conservative front bench, now the Opposition in Parliament. He served as Shadow Secretary of State for Culture, Media and Sport, Shadow Chancellor of the Exchequer, and Shadow Foreign Secretary until 2001.
Maude managed Michael Portillo's unsuccessful bid for the Conservative leadership in 2001, after which he declined a front bench role under the new leader Iain Duncan Smith. He was considered to be a 'moderniser' and on the left of the party, writing in The Daily Telegraph (24 June 2002), he stated that the Conservative Party's electoral problems had been caused by their failure to "look and sound like modern Britain". Norman Tebbit's secretary, Beryl Goldsmith, criticised Maude after this, asking: "How many male, white, straight Conservative MPs currently passionately campaigning for the selection of more women, and more men and women from ethnic minorities, would voluntarily relinquish their own seats in order to encourage local associations to follow the policy line they preach from their own smug, safe base? Precious few I would guess — including Mr Francis Maude."[citation needed]

We need more wimmen. And homos. 
Yes. And wogs, too.


After the 2005 general election, Maude returned to the Shadow Cabinet as Chairman of the Conservative Party. During his tenure, alongside newly elected leader David Cameron, the Conservatives adopted the A-List of parliamentary candidates, with priority being given to women and ethnic minorities. However, he was accused of hyprocrisy by promoting a "family-friendly" image while being the non-executive chairman of the Jubilee Trust, which held 21% of American pornographic actress Jill Kelly's adult DVD business,[4] and chairman of the Mission Marketing Group, which has advertised for WKD drinks and Playboy.[5] Maude, "who has railed against irresponsible lending by banks and mortgage companies", was accused of hypocrisy for receiving more than £100,000 as a director of a company that has profited from sub-prime mortgages. His annual salary was £25,000 from 2002 to 2005, for attending around six meetings a year of the company , and £12000 a year 2006 to 2008. The company went into liquidation in April 2009.[6]
In July 2007, Maude was made Shadow Cabinet Office Minister and Shadow Chancellor of the Duchy of Lancaster, with responsibility for preparing the Conservatives for Government, with some dubbing him as the Party's "enforcer". At the Conservative Party Conference in October 2007 he said: "David (Cameron) has asked me to lead an implementation team that will ensure that we are as well-prepared as any incoming government has ever been. Our priorities rigorously sorted. Our teams armed with the knowledge and capabilities that will enable new ministers to start making a difference from day one."
Maude supported Republican John McCain in the 2008 U.S. Presidential election.[7] He led the Conservative Party delegation to the 2008 Democratic National Convention.

[edit] Expenses claims

Maude allegedly purchased a flat in London, close to a house he already owned, before claiming on the flat and renting out the house.[8]

[edit] Personal life

Maude is father of five: Julia, Cecily, Harry, Alastair and Lydia. His personal net wealth is estimated at £3m. Despite this, during a discussion on Newsnight (22/10/10) he argued that a 5% cut to his £65,738 salary was equal to the 'pain' suffered by Britain's poor. [9][1
uess — including Mr Francis Maude."[citation needed] After the 2005 general election, Maude returned to the Shadow Cabinet as Chairman of the Conservative Party. During his tenure, alongside newly elected leader David Cameron, the Conservatives adopted the A-List of parliamentary candidates, with priority being given to women and ethnic minorities. However, he was accused of hyprocrisy by promoting a "family-friendly" image while being the non-executive chairman of the Jubilee Trust, which held 21% of American pornographic actress Jill Kelly's adult DVD business,[4] and chairman of the Mission Marketing Group, which has advertised for WKD drinks and Playboy.[5] Maude, "who has railed against irresponsible lending by banks and mortgage companies", was accused of hypocrisy for receiving more than £100,000 as a director of a company that has profited from sub-prime mortgages. His annual salary was £25,000 from 2002 to 2005, for attending around six meetings a year of the company , and £12000 a year 2006 to 2008. The company went into liquidation in April 2009.[6]
In July 2007, Maude was made Shadow Cabinet Office Minister and Shadow Chancellor of the Duchy of Lancaster, with responsibility for preparing the Conservatives for Government, with some dubbing him as the Party's "enforcer". At the Conservative Party Conference in October 2007 he said: "David (Cameron) has asked me to lead an implementation team that will ensure that we are as well-prepared as any incoming government has ever been. Our priorities rigorously sorted. Our teams armed with the knowledge and capabilities that will enable new ministers to start making a difference from day one."
Maude supported Republican John McCain in the 2008 U.S. Presidential election.[7] He led the Conservative Party delegation to the 2008 Democratic National Convention.

[edit] Expenses claims

Maude allegedly purchased a flat in London, close to a house he already owned, before claiming on the flat and renting out the house.[8]

[edit] Personal life

Maude is father of five: Julia, Cecily, Harry, Alastair and Lydia. His personal net wealth is estimated at £3m. Despite this, during a discussion on Newsnight (22/10/10) he argued that a 5% cut to his £65,738 salary was equal to the 'pain' suffered by Britain's poor. [9][10] 

Man's a cunt.


Actually, I am making a huge personal sacrifice, betraying my country. 
And eating all this shit. 


---------------------
Mr mongoose chides me that all Tories aren't necessarily bastard. If I was the sort of person who said things like, Some of My Best Friends Are ......Jews, Gays, Blacks, whatever, I would perforce admit  that some of my best friends and some of our readers, here,  are Tories;  none of them, however,  are bastard; the Tory bastardy emerges, leaping, braying I Am A Bastard, You Fucking Bastards, whenever they cheat or bully or whore their way into Power's underpants, there to nuzzle and slurp on his dick, fellating Money as though their very bastard lives depended on the depth of their throats. Kicking the disabled, mocking the slow, deriding the menial, squirming  in a vile, vengeful daisychain, Tory bastards last week cheered and waved their ridiculous papers,  congratulating Cruelty. That none of them, not one of them,  offered rebuke to this rotten, cowardly  display floodlights Ruin;  bent, degenerate, thieving hypocrite lawmakers cheering themselves, as they fit-up the weak, women and children last-ing, free pardoning their  banker masters, and bunging them a few quid from the poor box. Quad erat demonstrandum, All Government Tories, Especially LibDem Tories,  Are Bastards.

Wednesday, 13 October 2010

OF ARMS AND THE MAN.


Blogger yardarm said...
The politicians of all parties, diplomats, spooks, bureaucrats, brass, alumni of the best schools, graduates of the best universities apparently did not have the wit to pick up a history book to find out Afghanistan is a hell of a place. Or bother to ask any Red Army veterans ' How did you fare in the `stan, comrade ' ? In the past decade these open mouthed dimwits have landed us two military defeats and a colossal recession and left everyone else to suffer the consequences. In the nineteenth century at least one British diplomat paid the price for his folly by having his severed head displayed in Kabul bazaar. Wonder how Hague`s would look in his baseball cap
 
Even Thatcher's spivs, electioneering over  the Belgrano's sodden ghosts and the corpse-littered  Goose Green, even they, shameless thugs and privateers, the obnoxious, greedybastard Tebbit and the spiteful, I-Know-Best Lawson and the hysterical big fruit-queen,  Heseltine, even they seem dimly noble in comparison to Blair and his heirs, all happy, eager,  to pay, with others' blood, Uncle Sam's death levy -  If you love my idea of Freedom, send your children to maiming and death, with mine;  I'll make it worth your while. In dollars.
 
At the time, one wondered could there possibly ever be, in public life, anyone as  personally rotten and vile, rank and polluting, stinky-fartingly, throw-up sickening, shit-on-toast, wash-your-face-with-soiled-nappies revolting  as Cecil, the  Lord Pinstripe , Parkinson ? Och, aye. Step forward the massed, money-grubbing  ranks of NewLabour. And now, lacking even Blair's - or any - democratic legitimacy,  this shower of shapeshifting vermin, already, by birth, many of them, members of mr yardarm's elite noire, cement us further in Ruin. 
 
Hague's cackhanded,  hobgoblin, baseballcap, BigBoyFag posturing and blabbermouthing, afterdinnerspeeching foreign policy  and allaround boyinamansjob  embarrassing ineptitude characterise the coalition's opportunistic oafishness, the nation roughly buggered anew merely to ease the vanity of a tired, whining, old lickspittle hypocrite like Vince Cable, the foxtrotting Nitwit and a preening, louche gabshite like Huhne and his bi-Doxy, them constantly hectoring us that their slavish, fellating devotion to Money and Power is actually political courage of a high order, for which we should, for fucks sake, be grateful, grateful that spunkfaced freak, Osborne, never done  a days work in his worthless, pampered, inbred life, the revolting, little cocksucker in his grown-up suit and cufflinks, now vents his poisonous, lifelong spleen on those who have done little else, now chastises and punishes those who do not frequent gangsters' yachts but merely toil and die comfortless;  a pox on he and his worthless, jumped-up, thieving bastard  family. 
 
And Herself, CallHimDave, him with the kids and the rich bint,  and the oddly android face,  the most naturally gifted prime minister ever, as Peter Fuckwit Oborne, searing political commentator,  calls him,  just look at him, hostage to overpromoted nincompoops, about as adroit as a one-armed juggler, staggering from one embarrassment to another, in his best prime minister's voice, Now, Look-ing at us, Now, Listen-ing at us;  I Didn't Mean That-ing, What-I-Meant-Was-This-ing at us, as though we were his Eton fags, just needing a good talking-to, for us to be decent chaps. Cheap cunt, good for fuck all.
 
And stupid, too, Cameron, no matter how loudly his scholarship is brayed by purple-faced inbreds and toadies.   Couldn't win an election against Gordon Snot, the man who burnt all the money. CalHimDave, a lameduck from the word Go. The most naturally gifted lameduck political failure in modern times, forced to couple with the screeching whores from the sandal-wearing, transgender co-operative fringe. How the world must laugh at us, staggering from one unelected dictatorship to another, in the Mother of  Thieving Parliaments. 
 
But it's Linda Norgrove's shattered corpse, the noo,  which stinks the highest. Even silly airheads like her, driven by who-knows-what to Goodworks Among the Heathen, even she, epecially she, God bless her,  is entitled to better representation than she received  from the inept, blustering closet fag, Hague, too busy serving America to serve our own citizen, abroad. Some say that US so-called Special Forces just wanted to kill Taliban, to show them that it didn't matter that they held hostages, they were gonna get their asses kicked, whatever, that UncleSam's crewcut psychobastard MommasBoys were quite happy to waste young Linda. I don't know anout that. But I did hear some gobby US marine on the Front Row show saying how he just had to go to EyeRack to avenge Nine-Eleven, not very strong on geography, or anything, really, Uncle Sam's finest, so, I wouldn't be surprised at anything that happened at the time of Linda's death, only, of course, at the truth coming-out in the enquiry, as much chance of that as there is of the boy-in-a-man's-job, William, coming out, the silly cow, who does he think he's fooling? 
 
The Norgrove Fiasco, in which a British citizen need not have died were it not for Uncle Sam, is emblematic of these times when coffins at Wootton Wotsis are only a tiny, visible element of  Ruin's darker side, many more young return to these increasingly heartless shores without their legs, their sight, without their lives, to all intents and purposes. though breathing still, and hurting,  their interest, their voices,  hijacked by the boastful creepy-crawlies of the British Legion, those who live to march up and down, in berets and blazers, to fawn over the wretched Blair and his ill-gotten blood money,  the acceptable face of We Know Our Place, Ours Not To Reason Why, bleating to attention, as much use as a fart in a colander. 
 
They return, the limbless,  to a land governed by heartless freaks, united in cruel incompetence to punish a nation which briefly chastised them for their sticky-fingeredness.  Lance Bombardier Jones makes his legless way through a country in  which not only he and his comrades' lives are wasted and wounded but  those, also,  of his kin, for whom, he was duplicitously told and is still told, he was fighting. He was fighting, actually,  for WarCorp, for Haliburton and for Tony and Imelda Blair. His kin, old and vulnerable,  are to lose their little bit of winter warm, their social worker,  the girl from the library who used to bring them books.  His kin, younger, are told their jobs are worthless, they are worthless, told to get on their StarkeyCycle, pedalling after jobs which aren't there and maybe, maybe, they will be thrown a scrap from Money's table.  His kin, disabled, are to be interrogated by teams of willing, bonussed bullyboys and girls from Lazarus plc who will redetermine their disability and make it go away, just as if it was the truth.
 
mr yardarm asks how Mr Hague's head would look, atop the pole of his own worthlessness, it'll never happen, of course; they are all too closely bound, all parties to this Ruination are closer to one another than to us, to we, who pay and pamper and pension them. And the ghastly PoppyMonth looms, who will be the first to flaunt their phony, patriotic sympathy, some oik on the front bench, some former sergeant down the Legion, marching about, bristling and self-important.  Limbs is what we should wear, little arms and legs, pinned nobly to our lapels, and complete torsos, of course, maybe with their guts hanging out, that's the stuff to give the troops. 
 
Maybe if the legion and all the other military "charities" would speak out against these dreadful miltary misadventures in which no national purpose is served, maybe then a wider spirit of disobedience to these fuckpigs might emerge. Waving the flag is something which both Brown and Cameron, well, all of those cowardly, shit-eating hypocrites can do to such paralysing effect, so much so that the nation, most of it,  is currently acquiescent in its dismemberment. In the meantime, to the massed bands playing The Ruiners' Waltz, by the Right and into chill penury, quick march!

WHAT THE PAPERS SAY. THE FILTH-O-GRAPH, ALL LIBDEMS ARE NONCES

            
 

I DID NOT HAVE SEXUAL RELATIONS WITH THAT LOONY.

Mr Mad Mike Beardy-Git, Portsmouth South MP said on his website that he had voluntarily attended a police station and "co-operated fully" with inquiries.  Great how they all "co-operate fully" isn't it?  I would of even have reported myself if I had thought it was going to of come out, that's how decent I am, said the  beardy bastard.
Mr Hancock has declined to give any further details of the case, but previously denied any wrongdoing and claimed he had merely offered "help and support" to the 36-year-old woman. Nothing like a tongue down the throat to help and support your constituents.

It has previously been reported that the MP forcibly kissed the single mother as well as sending her late night text messages and lavishing gifts on her.

The MP, who married wife Jacqueline 43 years ago and has two children, was allegedly reported to police by a family support worker for the woman, who is understood to suffer from borderline personality disorder. ( ie she voted LibDem)

Tory leader of the LibDems, Mr Nick Gimp, below,



said, Am I saying, as Deputy Prime Minister, Second Class,  that it is right to snog one's constituents,  especially when they are mental cases? Of course I am not but if you ask me are Tory and LibDem  MPs above the law, Well, of course they are, just as long as  they support the Coalition which the nation, to a man, has voted for in an unparallelled act of democracy and which is a vindication of everythingwe said before the election, before we had a chance to see what was  written down in my friend, Mr Osblow's, rough book. Now, shall I ask myself some more questions, No, I am not saying that, I am far too important, for the time being. Off now to a meeting with the chief whip, Big Al (simper)

Tuesday, 12 October 2010

HOW TO SPEAK COALITION. REVERSING CIVILISATION.


Millionaire Chris Huhne, the Lib Dem Energy Secretary, 
has  signalled ministers could make a fresh attempt to cut winter fuel payments,
which are worth between £125 and £400 a year per person. 
Anything, rather than upset the bankers. British bankers, foreign bankers.
Bankers anywhere.

 
Mr Huhne,  above, a shitminister,  was so excited by being in pretend govament
that he ditched his wife to become shacked up with a bisexual, 
for now.

Ministers are considering raising the age at which the elderly can claim winter fuel payments to 66 – and slashing the payouts by £100. Mr Osborne is still considering cuts to pensioner handouts and Department for Work and Pensions officials have been asked to find savings in cold weather supplementary payments for the elderly.

Translation:

"   What's involved here is not a temporary downturn, after which conditions will improve for the masses of people, but rather a fundamental realignment of class relations based on a drastic and permanent lowering of working class living standards.  "

Thursday, 30 September 2010

LEARNING TO SPEAK COALITION, STRAIGHT SIMON SAYS...

Pontificating on the dreadful, pantomimesque Question Time:

"The IMF have backed the Coalition cuts and they're independent."


 Aye, independent bankers, Simon. Wanker

Wednesday, 22 September 2010

THE ENEMY WITHIN.

I was down at the hospital, today,  not in  St James's Infirmary, getting the death stare, joining in the fun, just a three-monthly eye check, see if any more of that crackling,  smokey laser surgery is required. There was an old boy in front of me. Well, seventies, with one white stick and one brown. He was lively, fully compus mentus and a wee bit reluctant to be led by the hand into the consulting room, No, I can manage;  he could,  but at the cost of a banged shin and a near-tumble. This is what we are like, all of us, No, I can manage, I don't need any help.

He was accompanied by a worker from his care home, she in her fifties, earning a pittance, maybe contributing to a four grand  a year pension; she will have been through Disclosure Scotland and will have received training in Lifting and Handling and First Aid, Food Hygiene, Dealing with Challenging Behaviour, Medication Training, Infection Control and fuck knows what else, probably hugely more skilled, more valuable than a subsidised barfull of guffawing, sanctimonious, whoring MPs. They, the blind man and his carer,  were from off the mainland, come in on a ferry, in her own car;  it was an allday gig, checking this man's eyes.

Back at the home people will cook his meals, do his laundry, administer his medicines, change his dressings if he has any, try to raise his spirits when they flag, read to him, maybe, adjudicate over telly and radio disputes, help him to the toilet, clean him when he soils himself, flirt with him, even, flirting with the old boys, it's part of the furniture, in geriatric care, lassooing the past for them,  reviving, briefly, a time of teeth and morning tumescence.  Ah, those were the days, If I was fifty years younger, lassie, such a time we'd have. I didnae always have yon catheter.

There will be OT and trips out, church services, visiting chaplains, nurses and doctors, nutritionists and physiotherapists, cooks and cleaners, clerks and drivers - all the parasite scum, in short, of the public sector, who, dazzled by the usurers'  horseshit,  we fervently believe we can no longer afford,  why should money be wasted, tending these feckless old folk who didn't save for their old age. As if more than a privileged few, reaping the Rewards of Obedience,   can "save" sufficient,  when wages are set at little above survival levels and in many cases below, when BoomanBust come around with monotonous, unemployment-is-a-price-worth-paying, blood-curdling regularity, merely in order to keep the majority in line, the celebrated Masters of The Universe stealing far more than they could ever need as  decent,  working people fight and die in eternal,  successive Battles of Britain - is this, Cleggy's bollocksaganza, the latest such;  is this hammy, immature, corruptible, pipsqueak buffoon, the new Winston? - as if we are become as a nation of supplicants in the Dragons' Den, emceed not by the odious, twittering man-scamp, Evans but by the poxed-up, bitching,  gangsters' moll, Osborne,  an entire nation mesmerised by facetious deficit reduction fetishism,  the same journalists, idle, expansive wankers who lionised Gordon Snot, now demanding our heads, our jobs, our pensions, in return for a bit of access to to the current crew of shameless charlatans, feeling its way around Power's new Ouija Board, Cunts, all of them. Begging for this or that crumb from Filth's dining table, the nation, seemingly to a man, appears convinced that the so-called cuts - the theft of their rights and entitlements by smarmy thugs, generations-steeped in villainy - will fall only on their particular, personal betes noir, and not on them, or their parents or children, fuck no, or themselves, Fucking morons.

Stalin or Mao or Winston would've had a way with these fucking so-called financiers, these jumped-up shopkeepers and perfume salesmen,  Lord fucking Adair Turner, Ruin's own gobby Officer of the Watch, Mervyn King, his sleeping pilot, who gives a flying fuck what these people say about anything,  they don't know any truth which corresponds to mine, just spin and lies and the sophistry of   shared degeneracy and entitlement; these inbred, interconnected families of greed and corruption and their insistence that our money, our country,  our hard-won, imperfect  civilisation  is actually their own personal wealth, on loan to us by dint of their  fucking kindness, and now they want it back.

Forget socialism, Obama is Wall Street's willing lackey,  happy to beggar blue collar America, in obeisance to his masters, in the hope of another four-year stint of cankered glory, a fool, a knave, a clown;  but we knew that from the get-go, when he and his dreadful, interminable, sing-song  didacticism stepped up to the plate, as they say, over there, in the Madlands, in the home of Yes, we can't. 

They must all come from some subterranean Mould of Emptiness, all humanity siphoned-out,  Obama, CallHimDave, Sarkozy, the dwarf pimp; An-Gula Merkel, the sourfaced, betrousered kraut hausfrau - why do so many of these powerharridans wear only trousers, don't they know what makes the world go round, don't they understand vive la difference, if they don't understand that, they understand fuck all -  only the bandit Berlusconi evinces any human traits, and his are all the wrong ones.  Wrapping us all up in a blanket of Euro- or  US- totalitairianisme, consumeriste;  nicely in debt, nicely obedient, made docile by a thousand cuts, all in this together,  that's their game. A pan-global form of advanced national socialism, light on the socialism, heavy on the fascism, liberal democrat fascism,  of course, all who want them shall have gender-reversal operations, Jesus fucking wept. Anyone even looking askance at a revolting ladyman is an enemy of the state. It's what they came into politics to do, fuck-up everything, absolutely everything. For the grandchildren.

The old man,  at the beginning,  didn't fight in the 1940 Battle of Britain - the one which the current unelected prime minister attributes to the Americans, the arsehole - but he would've done, I'm sure, if born  twenty years earlier and  called to.  From the gist of his conversation he worked all his life.  Proper work, from the look and the sound of him. ( I remember once hearing Richard Ingrams, back when he was in his right mind, saying how he recoiled when some fellow panellist on a radio show said to him How Much he'd enjoyed Working with him. Working? said Ingrams, Working?  Now, here in the future, we have legions of undead, walking sphincters, flitting from studio to studio, working, my dear, so hard. You people, in the shops and on the building sites, you don't know the meaning of real work. And over now to Janet Teeth Porter, and this week Janet is joined by Yasmin Alibhai Muslem and David Aaronobitch and his impossibly miniscule beard) I don't know if his carers encourage his involvement in, his awareness of  these toxic current affairs and I hope, counter-intuitively for the friend of an anarcho-plumber, that his news diet is heavily censored;  blind,  weak and frail, travelling,  I guess, on Death's omnibus, sitting in his ante-room,  the knowledge that, to the unelected poltroons, gangster and hypocrites in the house of commons, his life was problematic to the national profit and loss account, might be more than he could bear.

If we had a government worth a badger's turd or indeed any government - and not just a branch office of Bilderbergs - it would say, well, maybe you can have your money,some of it, a bit of it, in due course, but not at the expense of everybody else's comfort,  health and livelihoods,  not by decrying vital, hard-working, underpaid careworkers, easing life-and-death's miseries for increasing millions of our fellow citizens;  not by some repulsive, whey-faced, pampered Oxbridge cocksucker rebuking the genuinely workless for their lifestyle-choices, life's fucking hard enough without you greedy cunts making it worse and if you don't like that, how about we shoot a few of you, you know how that goes, Up against the wall motherfuckers, Do you want a  blindfold or do you wanna look Greed's desserts in the eye ?
 

Sunday, 22 August 2010

THE SUNDAY COALITION, A HUNDRED DAYS OF SODOM.

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LIBERAL DEMOCRATS CELEBRATE THEIR FIRST ONE HUNDRED DAYS
OF EATING TORY SHIT.  MMMM, NOT BAD, SAY MOST, HAD WORSE .
Good morning, obedient, credulous Coalition-citizens,  and as Deputy Prime Minister and Second Reforming Citizen, with my own cage and everything, I would just like to review my party's progress these last hundred days. Even though there isn't any.

 MR NICKY GIMP, MP, DEPUTY PRIME MINISTER OF THE UK.

The first thing I would like to say is that some of you have commented that during the election -  in which you decisively  chose me to direct the nation's affairs entirely as I made them up each day -   I often mentioned that mine was the New Party and the other two were parties were Old Parties, whereas now I talk about my party as it was at the turn of the nineteenth century and before. Which is it, they ask, an old party or a new party, and the answer, of course, is that it's both, or neither, depending on what we discover in Mr Osborne's Big Book of Made-Up Numbers and I am happy to set the record straight on that; it's a sign of the New politics, which you all voted for, even though we actually, in my New or Old Party didn't win any more seats, so that was clearly a resounding victory for my election strategy of being a New Party.  You know, to get less support than last time is a mark of how suitable I am to lead the LibDems back into the toilets. Where we belong. And never come out again. Which, with the prime minister's help, is what I am doing.

People say to me C'mon, Nick, you're clever, how can you claim to be progressive, y'know, when you are actually offering a figleaf  - or a spiked leather G-string - to a gang of fucked-up bullies  and spivs who are putting civilisation into reverse. And the answer to that, too, is simple, You don't have to act progressive to be progressive, Oh, I know, that's hard for people to get their mouths round, I mean heads,  but it's true, LibDems are progressive, it's just that we act like Barbarians.  But just because we act like Barbarians and do Barbarian things, that's no reason to say we are Barbarians, no, far from it; as we say in the Tory party, it's the bullshit that counts, rather than the truth. Truth is whatever Mr Murdoch lets you away with,   for example, and this is from the Sun's Big Book Of Being A Good Citizen In a Big Society (free with today's NewsOfTheWorld): Bankers and non-tax-paying FilthMerchants good, benefit claimants scum.  See? The kids have gotta learn to say it in the Free Schools Coalition Assembly, every morning, altogether children: Bankers and non-tax-paying FilthMerchants good, benefit claimants scum.  It's what I came into politics to do.

Look, it was my party, and only my party, which at the election before last fielded a copraphiliac as potential home seckatry. Now, I suggest that you can't get more progressive than that, all-night shit parties down Queen Anne's Gate.

Eating shit made me bald.

Mr Mark Oaten, MP, former LibDem home affairs spokesman promised to be tough on prostitution, whilst himself paying rentboys to defecate in his face; surely he should be in the coalition cabinet. Isn't it an outrage that men of Mark's quality are excluded from the rape of the country?

And if you want proof of my New Politics, of very different people working towards the same shitty aims, then just look at this,
just exactly the same as the Old Politics which we all despise so much. David Laws, my fellow Oxbridge millionaire-all-in-it-together  New Politician, with my other  fellow Oxbridge millionaire-all-in-it-together  New Politician, Mr Gideon Oxbone. Now, I know that ordinary obedient citizens, living out there in Cutsville, or wherever, get angry about millionaire politicians fellating Russian gangsters on yachts stolen from the Russian people  but frankly, y'know, they've just gotta get over it. It's time, I put it to you, for grown-up politics and that means, frankly, not obsessing about wrong and right. Basically, all you need to know is that whatever  we do is right and in the interests of the country. And whatever you do, in your own selfish interests, is wrong. And that's why you must be punished, It's in your own interests, You know, I can't underestimate the need for cuts enough, or overundersetimate  - You are all in this together, after all.

Look, you know,  it's one of the biggest tragedies of modern, invented history (author. mr murdoch) that Mr Laws was forced from office just because he was fiddling his housing benefit. It's not as though he was doing anything wrong, is it, a man in his position, of his standing, a former banker, it's not as though he needed the money now, is it? We, in the ToryLibDems, believe that people's sexual orientation is their own business and if to protect their privacy they have to steal from the taxpayer why that's just exactly what they should do, to the tune of  a mere forty thousand pounds; it might be  three or four years' wages to some people, eight years disability allowance, but we're scrapping that, so there's one thing less for them to worry about and they might get better and do a decent day's work, like the rest of us do.  You know,  hard working people in this country, the ones who voted decisively for the Coalition of Reform, they are heartily sick of supporting people, just because they happen to have incurable diseases or are old and have paid in their NI contributions and their taxes and all that rubbish.  Am I being crual and harsh, I ask myself, and the answer of course, is No, I most certainly am not. Sick people need a good helping kick in the face, if you ask me. But Mr Laws's case was different,  he was a millionaire,  weasely, poisonous little fag, terrified of his ghastly family's condemnation, terrified of people seeing him as  he is,  a rotten pinstripe hypocrite, furiously bent on persecuting the sick and the  wounded, people like Mr Laws need all the help we can give him. And all the money.  But this is no reason to ease-up in the war on single mothers, filthy sluts; we were elected to make it hard for them, impossible for them really, and as long as I'm Chief Gimp that's what the prime minister and his fellow public school Oxbridge millionaire-all-in-it-together New Politicians, like Lord Leon Brittan, 78, warts and all,  are going to do.


HONEST NICK GIMP AND HIS HONEST LIBDEMS ATTACK THE TORY ENEMY.
WHAT A SHOWER OF SHIT.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

FURTHER LIBDEM WIKIREADING:

YOUNGER READERS MIGHT WONDER AT MR MONGOOSE'S  AND OTHERS' REFERENCES TO THE DOGSHOOTERS; THEY ARE EXPLAINED BELOW.

JEREMY THORPE, A FORMER, OLD ETONIAN  LEADER WHO NEARLY GOT INTO BED WITH THE TORIES BUT WAS TOO BUSY BEING IN BED WITH A RENT BOY.


Homosexuality scandal

Persistent rumours about Thorpe's sexuality dogged his political career. Norman Scott, a former male model, met Thorpe in 1961 while working as a stable lad. He later claimed that he and Thorpe had a homosexual relationship between 1961 and 1963, when homosexual acts were still illegal in Britain. Scott's airing of these claims led to an inquiry within the Liberal Party in 1971, which exonerated Thorpe. Scott, however, continued to make the allegations.
In October 1975, Scott was walking on Exmoor with a Great Dane bitch (called "Rinka"), which had been lent to him by a friend for protection. Scott was confronted by Andrew "Gino" Newton, a former airline pilot, who was armed with a gun. Newton shot and killed the dog, then pointed the gun at Scott, but it apparently failed to go off. Newton was convicted of the offence in March 1976.
During his court appearance, Scott repeated his claims of a relationship with Thorpe, and alleged that Thorpe had threatened to kill him if he spoke about their affair. Scott also sold letters to the press which he claimed to be love letters from Thorpe. One of these included the memorable line "Bunnies can and will go to France", which supposedly showed Thorpe using his 'pet-name' for Scott in connection with a promise to find Scott a well-paid job in France.
The scandal forced Thorpe to resign as Liberal Party leader on 9 May 1976. He was replaced temporarily by his predecessor Jo Grimond and then permanently by David Steel.
Andrew Newton was released from prison in April 1977, and then revived the scandal by claiming that he had been hired to kill Norman Scott. On 4 August 1978, Thorpe was accused along with David Holmes (deputy Treasurer of the Liberal Party), George Deakin (a night club owner) and businessman John Le Mesurier (not the actor or the athletics coach) of conspiracy to murder. Thorpe was also separately accused of inciting Holmes to murder Scott.
The trial was scheduled to take place a week before the general election of 1979, but Thorpe obtained a fortnight's delay to fight the election. However, the scandal had become too much, and Thorpe was defeated.

Trial

Thorpe was put on trial at Number One Court at the Old Bailey on 8 May 1979, a week after losing his seat. He was charged with attempted murder and conspiracy to murder. One of the chief prosecution witnesses was former Liberal MP and failed businessman Peter Bessell, who claimed to have been present while the murder plot was discussed within the Liberal Party. According to Bessell, poison had been rejected as a method of killing Scott because "it would raise too many questions if he fell dead off a barstool." One alleged plan had been to shoot Scott in Cornwall and dispose of the body down a disused tin mine.[1]
Bessell agreed to appear as a witness in exchange for immunity from prosecution. His credibility was damaged, however, because he had sold his story to The Sunday Telegraph for a fee that would double from £25,000 to £50,000 if the prosecution was successful. Thorpe did not testify in the case, but his counsel, led by George Carman QC, argued that although he and Scott had been friends, there had been no sexual relationship. Carman claimed that Scott had sought to blackmail Thorpe, and that although Thorpe and his friends had discussed "frightening" Scott into silence, they had never conspired to kill him.
Summing up the case, Mr Justice Cantley was widely criticised for showing a nakedly pro-establishment bias,[2] in which he described Scott as "a crook, an accomplished liar... a fraud." In spite of the Judge's direction, the jury were at first split 6-6, but, after 15 hours of deliberation, they finally reached a verdict of Not Guilty. The four defendants were all acquitted on 22 June 1979.

YOUNGER READERS MIGHT WONDER AT THE APPELLATION
STRAIGHT SIMON HUGHES.



When, in 1983, Simon, one of those political barrister types - half the house of Reptiles, maybe more, rotten, thieving bastards,  claim to be  lawyers  -  himself gay, stood against an openly gay Peter Tatchell, then Labour candidate for Bermondsey. Simon's winning campaign literature insisted that he was the Straight Choice; all coy, Simon has always maintained he didn't know the implication, and if there was one it was, naturally,  someone else's fault. Outed by The Sun in 2006, having only days earlier, in other 'papers,  strenuously denied being gay, Hughes at long last offered Tatchell a mealy-mouthed apology blaming others, impicitly for the ghastly, repulsive  hypocrisy which so typifies LibDem politicians, which, indeed, seems a prerequisite for selection. Interestingly,  Hughes, in a lawyerly ruse, claimed that since he was actually bi-sexual, the censuring of him in the Tatchell case - for a gay bashing another gay - was inaccurate and therefore invalid  The man, like so many in his ragbag of fainthearts and phonies, is an utter cunt.

***** see next post for videoclip*****
Here, addressing thousands of muslims,  potential voters, he displays some of his more mature hypocrisy.
The usual blood pressure warnings apply.





DISCLAIMER.

Ishmaelites believe that it is undesireable and impractical to police consensual sexual activity between adults  and that where disclosure serves no public good it should not occur; if people wish, for instance,  to abrade their genitals with sandpaper that should be  their own affair.  The matter of proselytizing is more difficult; if older people approach young persons,  offering them free Black and Decker equipment and invitations to balls-sanding parties we feel that this should, at the very least, be discouraged.  Should committed genital abraders, however, enter parliament and then denounce and urge the criminalisation of such DIY- orientated sexual behaviour among others  they should be kicked up and down CyberStreet, without let or hindrance by law enforcement.

Some, it is reported, who swim in this sexual stream, feel compelled to nail each other's foreskins to a work bench and despite what Mr Justice Filth had to say on the matter, we maintain that even this behaviour should not be criminalised; if, however, the cocknailers or dickstaplers, call them what you will, seek to outlaw the  incomparably less exotic pecadillo of masturbation, then they should be promptly marched into the same corner as Mr Oaten and Mr Laws and Mr Hughes and Mr Clegg belong in and duly shat upon by all so inclined.  The lawmakers really must be as pure as Caesar's wife and when they fall short, as they increasingly do, especially so in this shabby coalition farce, then we must pick up any stick which is to hand and beat them with it.  The LibDems and their previous incarnations are peculiarly, exceptionally, not only personally extravagantly amoral, promiscuous and degenerate to the point of murder but they ooze their filth into the body politic;  they would tie us all up, beat us and fuck us. And that's what they are doing.
-------------------------------------------------------
There are those who really do believe all this deficit stuff, really believe that others must suffer cuts in income, cuts in services, cuts in entitlements, unemployment, repossession, really do believe that so great were Gordom Snot's crimes that we must all or at least some of us, but  others,  be punished by the wholesale, punitive destruction  of  our rights, believe that greedybastard speculators and pinstripe gangsters may dictate and curtail our expectation to suit their greedy whim; believe that in exchange for binning ID cards we should rejoice at the further theft of pensions, services, jobs and homes, who believe that the old, the sick, the weak and the voiceless can withstand this, as though they were bushes, ready to spring back, after a good Coalition pruning, its  vengeful shears honed by resentment at being found-out, in the now-forgotten expenses fraud jamboree .  There are those,  still, who believe that the Earth is flat.

Saturday, 14 August 2010

PLEASE, JUST LET ME EXPLAIN WHY I AM AN OBNOXIOUS GREEDY FAT FUCK

HELL HATH NO FURY LIKE A BIG FAT FUCKER SCORNED ON NATIONAL TEEVEE


Mr Pickles has put his new department on a crash diet. Photo: REUTERS

But even though he proudly boasts that he’s lost a few pounds from his, shall we say, somewhat larger than life frame since becoming Secretary of State for the Department of Communities and Local Government, he’s not talking about his waistline.

Mr Pickles, 58, has gleefully put his new department on a crash diet – albeit one where catering for staff functions is now calorific crisps rather than the lavish but probably healthier fare the civil service had become accustomed to under Labour.

Of all the ministers in the Coalition Government, it is Mr Pickles, one senses, who is almost enjoying the cutting radical programme of cuts "' required "    as part  of the austerity drive to balance the books.


 Above, from the Filth-O-Graph, extolling Mr FatFuck's cutting of three thousand jobs, my italics, my speech marks;  below, those with blood pressure watch this at your own risk. Expenses scandal? What expenses scandal?


Wednesday, 11 August 2010

SAME OLD, SAME OLD

 Our current unelected prime minister has pronounced himself delighted, bless,  that Mr Sir Gus O'Donnell, one of Ruin's most brilliant minds,  is to continue in his role as Chief Civil Servant, Mr  Sir Gus was at the Treasury when all the money was being burned and has been in charge of the civil service throughout the last five years of national ignominy. Obviously, his qualities of stupidity, cowardice and compliance with the most ruinous of policies will be the cause of Dave's Delight.

Dave Ramsden, who succeeded Mr Sir Gus as Head of the Treasury and was, thus, instrumental in the Balls-Brown fuck-ups, also remains in his post, although he winningly told the bozos at the Treasury Select Committee, that he would be reviewing his duties to see if he could give better value to the taxpayer. Honest, not invent.


 Ronnie Corbett, as Mrs narcolept describes the wretched Mervyn, is welded to his desk at the Bank of England (prop: National Bank of China) and most of the heads of the banks and counting houses which have now, post Thatcher, replaced our now-lost manufacturing base, are still in post, richer than ever, their profits still privatised, their losses nationalised.

All of the same people, in short, who brought us here, remain unchallenged.  The reptiles, themselves, from Mr Tiny Speaker downwards,  assure us that they are re-formed, honest, now, as the day is long, not that any of them, of course, were dishonest, but honestly mistaken when they were stealing all our money, shitting in our faces. And if we all have to suffer, now, well, serve us right for questioning their integrity.

So there we are, have to blame somebody else and the vomitarium which is the Filth-O-Graph's comment space is awash with puke, all engendered not by the doings of an unaccountable political-media-financial elite but by single mothers and benefit cheats - ie anyone in receipt of them; spewing shit and  shitting spew,  haemorrhaging  filth from eyes, ears, nose and mouth, falling over one another,  fingers down throats, slipsliding away on a tide of Tory sick, little carroty, sweetcorn bits of LibDem nonsense...single mothers, they should be raped to death, or put in hostels, a billion and a half's a lot of money, y'know, decent people don't draw benefits, prefer to starve. And freeze, Only not our betters of course, Country nees them. It was Peter Lillie, wasn't it, sang a song about all the poor people he had in bis sights, the last time we had a communal throw-up.  And as long as we keep on hating the poor, well, the rich can keep on punishing us for  - briefly - wising up to them. But only briefly. skymadeupnewsandfilth got our minds right for us, once Rupert had his boy/s in Downing Street. 

On the blood and guts front, Field Marshals Rupert Golightly-Jockstrap succeed one another, each and every one convinced that Our People Can Win It, Must Win It, We Are Making Real Progress;  they probably believe it, too; some people will believe anything, especially of it's career-enhancing.

In any sensible enterprise one might assume that the closest advisers to the outgoing, catstrophically incompetent  management might be found alternative duties;  it IS the duty of the Civil Service to advise and we might even argue that it behoves any ctizen to blow the whistle when his political masters are behaving illegally. But none of this happened then and it is not happening now and O'Donnell seems how shall we say, like a village bicycle, happy to be ridden by all comers.

If he was any good at all, surely we would not be in this position.


 
Mr Sir Gus O'Donnell, ensconced with the Wrecking Crew - Cooper-Balls; Jack Torture;
Mr Hillary Wank and young separatee and Blair Babe, Tess of the Mafia.

    Mr Sir Gus O'Donnell with unelected Prime Minister Snot. enjoys a moment of 
    jocular lunacy. Vaahl-ewes, yes, that's the thing, Aha-ha-ha.

    Mr SIr Gus O'Donnell with unelected prime minister CallHimDave.
    Let me get this straight, just because I didn't win the election doesn't mean I didn't win the election. Yes, I think I can say that, with a straight face, and if push comes to shove, she can always lose the baby. No. only kidding, just having a Cecil Parkinson moment. Great man Sir Cecil, always acted in the very best traditions of the party, wimmen and children last, eh.*

    Foxtrot One, Mr Sir Gus O'Donnell, CallHimDave and
    ay very capable foreign seckatry, Mr Tiny Speaker; who
    also, it must be said, never won ay general election, rather like
    this chap on my right. And I do mean right.

    From wiki:

    From 1997 to 1998, O'Donnell was the United Kingdom's Executive Director to both the International Monetary Fund and the World Bank, again in Washington, before returning to the Treasury to serve as both Director of Macroeconomic Policy and Prospects and also Head of the Government Economics Service, with overall responsibility for the professional economists in Her Majesty's Government. A year later, in 1999, he was appointed Managing Director of Macroeconomic Policy and International Finance, with responsibility for fiscal policy, international development, and European Union economic and monetary union.

    In 2002, O'Donnell took over from Sir Andrew Turnbull, now Lord Turnbull of Enfield, as Permanent Secretary of the Treasury when Sir Andrew became Cabinet Secretary. Three years later, on 15 June 2005, it was announced that Sir Gus would again replace Turnbull, this time as Cabinet Secretary, on the latter's retirement at the end of that summer. He took up office in September 2005.
    O'Donnell is known for his "wondrous interpersonal gifts"[2] and his informal style - two days a week he works in an open plan office, the first Cabinet Secretary to do so. He regularly visits Civil Service departments outside London "to meet civil servants at work" [3]
    The annual remuneration for this position is £235,000.[4]

    Their is no suggestion of Mr Sir Gus suffering a pay cut.
     Same old, same old.

    ***********************************************************


    FOR YOUNGER READERS, IF WE HAVE ANY


    Cecil Parkinson, MP, was Thatcher's favourite pinstripe spiv, dashing, handsome
    and a complete cunt.


    His long-time  secretary and mistress, Sara Keays, having been promised  that the dirty rotter would divorce his Mrs and  marry her, fell pregnant with Flora, who would be born with serious health problems, only to be ditched by Cecil, who also sent MI5 silencers round to her gaff to assist, presumably,  with her pre-natal care; grassing him up, Cecil felt, was endangering national security - makes his revolting Lordship, Prescott, look like a gentelman, does Parkinson, almost - Sara's father, a former army officer, saw Parkinson's - or Thatcher's - goons  off in disgust.

    Parkinson is one  those responsible for the Unemployment, A Price Worth Them Paying mantra, which, 


    among so many Thatcherisms, irrevocably disfigured the nation, were midwife to Blair and Blatcherism and which the ridiculous popinjay, CallHimDave, now blames entirely on those savaged by Tory brutishness, thrown on the scrap heap, abandoned,   massaged away,  as SpivCity took off, encouraged by those who thought there was no such thing as society, much less a broken one.  Sara Keays is the single mother about whom the ghastly Tories did not sing acidic little ditties  at their conferences.  A terrible tragedy to befall such a great man,  that was it. Wimmen and children last.


    Thursday, 5 August 2010

    WOTSONTELLY, HOW TO BUILD A CATHEDRAL, BBC4


     It's not easy, I know, explaining to people what's so good about the cathedrals, all of them, really, except that one in Liverpool, but especially the gothic, mediaeval ones.

    Bath and Wells has 146 effigies, each in his own niche, they were originally painted, lifelike,  and behind them was a secret choir space, worshippers approaching the building would have imagined themselves sung-to by statues. No business, like the Lord's showbusiness.

     
    They have always talked to me, I don't know why, I'm not Godly, it's the spaces, the grandeur and the craftsmen, who probably were, Godly;  they have always set my head spinning at the thought of our determination, our clever monkeyness  - I won't even live to see it, but I am gonna build you, God, a church that'll blow your fucking socks off  - but I have never been able to share that with others who weren't already of that mind. I think that for many, God gets in the way.

    This programme, however,  first broadcast in 2008,  is jaw-droppingly good, mesmerising and like its subjects, itself a grand ambition. Presenter, Jon Cannon, like all TeeVee presenters, gets in the way a bit  but unlike most of them he knows of what he speaks, is an architectural historian, gifted, also, with a presentational style both precise and passionate, like a mediaeval ascetic.



    Unlike the unspeakable Kevin Wotsit off Grand Designs, Cannon skillfully describes  an  architecture  speaking to Eternity, not Consumerism, buildings built to unite the masses in humility, not showily fragment them, individualised by money and narcissism,  the cathedrals were places which,  with their massive stones, astonishing ribbed and fanned vaulted ceilings, lit by ever larger and more complex paimted glass windows, in themselves, were Theatre,  buildings whose purpose was nothing short of the recreation of Heaven, on Earth.


     Up all night, leaning on the windowsill I  desperately didn't want this show to end, it was  a transport of delight, beautiful and intelligent, scholarly but inclusive, a well-mannered programme.  Here, in the Far North, we are hundreds of miles from Canterbury or  Ely or Bath and Wells or Gloucester, even Durham and Yorkminster are a long way but even so Mr Cannon's cathedralising  made me want to throw the blogdog Buster and a bag into the SmartCar and fuck off South. Maybe down the Severn, Worcester, Tewkesbury and  Gloucester Cathedrals, a stone's throw apart. Here, in the best part of England,  there are only Inverness's cash-strapped and thus truncated,  Victorian,  Episcopalean monstrosity and Orkney's bluff and brutish, sandstone St Magnus Cathedral. Here, often for many, many miles there is no sign on the landscape of the hand of Man;  the vast Highlands emptiness is  a deliverance of a sort, one yearns, nevertheless, for the stony fastness of God's vaulted, Gothic temples, their soaring, glazed, timbered, burnished, sculpted,  embellished, anonymised, collective epitaph to those, now coffin dust, who raised them.


    The full programme is among that tangle of numbers, below, at YouTube but would probably be better on the iThing; if you haven't seen it and have an hour free it will prove an hour transcendent, delightfully shorn of Ruin's chatter.

    Better still, Englanders, go and visit the damn things, lest they fall before the depredations of the Coalition, sold-off to Rich Arabia or GangsterMother Russia, in a Vince-orgy of wanton, foxtrotting deficit fetishism.


    http://www.google.co.uk/url?sa=t&source=web&cd=4&ved=0CCUQtwIwAw&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.bbc.co.uk%2Fiplayer%2Fepisode%2Fb00b09rb%2FHow_to_Build_a_Cathedral%2F&rct=j&q=HOW%20TO%20BUILD%20A%20CATHEDRAL%20BBC4&ei=RPxZTKW_KY_60wTJ3sDWCA&usg=AFQjCNEMQXzMGna43MkEB16c-vl7pkZcxg&sig2=cDrw_92xKBsNw9YDT6TaWQ&cad=rja