Disgraced Former Cambridge Professor: Death by Embarrassment.
"Under the circumstances", opines unnamed pundit, "on balance, it was the best available option, given the joblessness, being a national laughing stock, no longer being the poster boy for Cambridge's enlightened policies of appointing under-qualified Bleck people into prestigious professorial posts, and utterly failing as a role model for the less than privileged."
"But, Mr. Pundit, whatever happened to not speaking ill of the dead?"
" That, mrs. ishmael, is a primitive superstition, originally developed in Foreign Countries, probably sub Saharan, to ward off the evil spirit of the deceased who would wreak horrible revenge if it caught you saying nasty things about it. I'm not a Voodoo practitioner, and I resent the implication. Nope, the chap was an Arsehole and did the Right Thing."
"What of his grieving family, Mr. Pundit? Prime Minister No-Tie Burnham says it is a tragedy."
"He has to say that, comes with the job. The family are well rid. They've been living under the Damoclesian Sword ever since Arday learned to talk - when he was 11, he claimed, and first started spouting rubbish. Shame his mother never said, 'now, don't be silly, dear'. But there it is. Anyway, he's a better provider dead than alive - the Go Fund Me page set up by Windrush busy-body Sir Patrick Vernon, has already raised £65,000 to help cover funeral costs for Mr Arday's family. Fuck's sake, what sort of a funeral is that going to be?"
"An expensive one, Mr. Pundit."
"Too right, mrs ishmael. No wheeling the body round to the local Crem. No, there'll be weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth. Making a show of themselves. Just as if he wasn't a lying fantasist."
"Bit harsh?"
"With due respect, dear lady, utter bollocks. The first doubts about Jason Arsehole's academic qualifications were raised as early as May 2023 by Dave Harris, an emeritus professor at Plymouth Marjon University, who noticed that passages in one of Arday’s journal articles resembled another scholar’s work. Harris worked with sociologist Martyn Hammersley, to identify substantial unattributed borrowing across several publications. By September 2025, Jack Grove, a reporter at Times Higher Education, had assembled a sixty-three-page dossier of side-by-side text comparisons involving Arday’s doctoral thesis and journal articles. David Sanders, a Purdue University biochemist and veteran plagiarism sleuth who reviewed the dossier, stated: 'There is no question that there is extensive plagiarism”. Grove wrote to Arday for comment, whereupon Arday hired Carter-Fuck, the famously-feared defamation firm, and Times Higher Education did not run the exposé. Weirdly, the Metropolitan Police then contacted Grove and warned him against approaching Arday, citing concerns for the professor’s mental health.
In June this year, Nathan Cofnas — an American-born philosopher now at Ghent University in Belgium, who had lost his own Cambridge affiliation in 2024 over writings in which he described himself as a “race realist” and argued that under pure meritocracy Black people would “disappear from almost all high-profile positions” — was contacted by a Cambridge faculty member and began running Arday’s thesis through plagiarism-detection software . His Substack posts, published in June and July, alleged dozens of passages lifted from a 2009 dissertation by education scholar Paula Zwozdiak-Myers, sometimes with the original’s editing quirks still intact. Daniel McCarthy, writing later in The Daily Signal, catalogued still more: a claimed appearance in the “Seven Up” documentary series, which began filming twenty-one years before Arday was born, and, as McCarthy recounts it, a disarming reply Arday reportedly gave a Guardian fact-checker — “To be honest with you, I thought you’d just believe me”.
Arday’s professional biography listed a guest professorship at The Ohio State University’s Office of Diversity and Inclusion. Ohio State said it had no record of him. A university spokesman said they had “no record of an employee by that name” and that “visiting professors appear in our employment records”. Further, the DEI office where he claimed to work had been closed the previous year amid the federal government’s pressure campaign against such programs. Days later, Cambridge announced its investigation into his “qualifications and honorary appointments.”
Professor Arday promptly resigned. In his defence, he blamed his apparent plagiarism on his autism, saying he absorbs information through mimicry. His failure to adequately defend his thesis - he didn't seem to understand it - he attributed to very recent brain surgery to remove a benign brain tumour. Defending a thesis is a key requirement for completing a graduate degree, such as a master’s or PhD. The defense allows faculty members to assess whether the student thoroughly understands their research, methodology, and the broader context of their work.
Arday's personal claim that he had run 600 miles in six days for charity was preposterous ( he later corrected it, saying it took 12 days) and has admitted that he did not single-handedly raise £5.5m for charity but was part of a syndicate of around 100 people, none of whom he can name because he signed a non-disclosure agreement. Oh, and his complaint that a severed pig's head had been delivered to his family home as a racist insult, occupied police time in investigating the untrue allegation."
"Thank you, Mr. Pundit. You've convinced me. Disgraced Former Professor Arday was an Arsehole. But Professor Simon Baron-Cohen of the Departments of Psychology and Psychiatry at the University of Cambridge, Fellow at Trinity College, Cambridge, Director of the Autism Research Centre in Cambridge, which he set up in 1997, and brother of Sacha Baron-Cohen,
"Jolly good, mrs ishmael, jolly good."
.......................................................................
Fat Cocks
There's no news in women getting lip fillers, unless some celebrity's trout pout bursts, of course. The psychological and economic drive is fairly straight forward - the need to attract and retain a mate drives some women to have filler injected into their lips in order to mimic aroused vulvar lips. Gross, I know. But blokes wanting fat cocks? Having hyaluronic acid injected into the shaft and head of the penis? Paying up to £3,500 to have your penis injected with hyaluronic acid three times - on the top and on either side? The hyaluronic acid filler is delivered through a cannula that enters at the base and travels along the length of the shaft. The filler is then massaged to give an even look, which the patient continues as home. You wouldn't want a lumpy cock, now.
Another tale of Ruin.
West Midlands and Prime Minister No-Tie Burn'em
Prime Minister Burn'em expressed horror at the situation, describing the country as a "tinderbox" due to extreme heat and dry conditions that have worsened the wildfire risk. He sent a very alarming noise through my mobile phone the other evening, along with a text message, telling me not to have a barbecue. He went to Stourbridge, which has had a really bad time; without his tie on, to demonstrate sincerity, sympathy, being a man of the people and being hot, too.
 |
| The burnt out remains of houses in the Quarry Park Road area of Stourbridge (Peter Byrne/PA) |
He issued statements emphasizing that:
- His thoughts are with those affected, including the injured and those evacuated from their homes.
- Firefighters are operating in extremely challenging conditions and putting themselves at risk.
- He is in regular contact with local leaders and emergency services, including West Midlands Mayor Richard Parker, to coordinate support and resources
- He extended gratitude to all personnel supporting firefighting efforts and urged the public to stay safe and follow official advice.
So that's alright.
He's going to compensate the farmers whose crops and fields have been burnt to bits. It works out at approximately £300 each. Britain's food security is being made a mockery of.
Not too late to get some tatties in - you'll be harvesting new potatoes for your Christmas dinner.
.........................................................
Courtesy of editor mr verge, the house filthster, four splendid anthologies of the writings of stanislav and mr ishmael may be purchased for mere money. You can buy them from Amazon or Lulu. Here's how:
Honest Not Invent, Vent Stack, Ishmael’s Blues, and the latest, Flush Test (with a nice picture of the late, much lamented, Mr Harris of Lanarkshire taking a piss on a totem pole) are available from Lulu and Amazon. If you buy from Amazon, it would be nice if you could give a review on their website.
Ishmaelites wishing to buy a copy from lulu should follow these steps
please register an account first, at lulu.com. This is advisable because otherwise paypal seems to think it's ok to charge in dollars, and they then apply their own conversion rate, which might put the price up slightly for a UK buyer. Once the new account is set up, follow one of the links below (to either paperback or hardback) or type "Ishmael’s Blues" into the Lulu Bookstore search box. Click on the “show explicit content” tab, give the age verification box a date of birth such as 1 January 1960, and proceed.
Link for Hardcover : https://tinyurl.com/je7nddfr
Link for Paperback : https://tinyurl.com/3jurrzux
https://www.lulu.com/shop/ishmael-smith/flush-test/paperback/product-9yjvn7.html?q=Flush+Test&page=1&pageSize=4
At checkout, try WELCOME15 in the coupon box, which (for the moment) takes 15% off the price before postage. If this code has expired by the time you reach this point, try a google search for "Lulu.com voucher code" and see what comes up.
With the 15% voucher, PB (including delivery to a UK address) should be £16.84; HB £27.04.
 |
| God's own county. |
9 comments:
That Big Chicken is rather alarming - shades of the genetically adapted sex-slaves in K.W.Jeter's Dr Adder. (Reassuring note for ophidiophobic Brits - the title was not a reference to satan's little helpers, rather to a freelance way-off-the-books quack bringing new meaning to the concept of surgical sex-change...dem bones, dem bones, dem sick sawbones, innit.)
Speaking of fruit and veg, my garden has produced nothing this year to speak of, mrs i. Although, I guess the lack of rain can be looked at as a cause, I prefer to blame the government. Goodness me, what a prat Burnham has proved himself to be and it has only been ten minutes. My phone screamed out that wicked noise and me old ticker upped by a few hundred beats per minute. Did not every sensible person in the land immediately google "turn off government alerts uk"?
Of the bit-mad bullshitter we need say no more. Poor lad. It is too tawdry a tale for a poet to trouble with but I see that Matthew Syed has chirped up. Himself being a ping-pong player of some note, and a not very unwhite waif and stray, he somehow found a place at Balliol despite an absence of any other qualification. He now prattles the most pedestrian of platitudes. Round and round he goes. Less profound than Yosser "Give us a chance, go on, Gizzit!" And his pleading has borne fruit and it has killed one. That poet could write about that tragedy. But a better one, it is to be hoped, than Matthew.
de mortuis nil nisi harum-scarum?
I have to declare an interest: I have supervised post-grads in the maths department at Cambridge.
Clearly Oday was a chancer and maybe surfed on the wave of multi-culti. But he was also lately perused by the right-wing press - to the extent I started o feel sorry for him.
When I heard of his death, I genuinely felt sorry for the lad. He was both a product and then a victim of a larger evil.
You're alive, mr mike!
I agree btw. And also, post-grads - or at least a decent proportion of the long-termers - go ever so slightly bonkers. Some for a while and some forever. There's an edge that it is wise to stay back from.
Correct Mr mongoose. Postgrad study is lonely and you are filled with self-doubt - am I good enough to be here? etc..
Was it the "right-wing" press? Is there any such? Come on, mr mike. You can do better than that.
The lad collapsed - Bless him - because everything he was was a lie. Notwithstanding our kind thoughts immediately hereabove, he should never have been exposed to such a position. Goodness, sociology is almost all bollocks, the sociology of education is bollocks down a coal-mine with a cauldron on its head sheltering it from the few rays of light that penetrate that far down.
The worthless left him exposed and now shout "Waycism!!!" The lad was killed by DEI nonsense. Let us be brave and call stupidity stupidity.
In the same Department of Education formerly graced by Arday, can be found Cambridge’s assistant research professor of education, Farah Ahmed, a member of the same faculty which employed Jason Arday and a former activist in the now-banned terror group Hizb ut-Tahrir. Farah Ahmed has explicitly attacked ‘western education’ as a ‘threat’ to Muslims, condemned democracy and integration, and criticised British schools for teaching pupils that child marriage is wrong. During her time at Cambridge, she has written that the Islamic concept of education is sharply opposed to ‘gaining literacy and numeracy and other disciplinary skills demonstrated through qualifications’. In 2002 Ahmed wrote that ‘the Muslim community as a whole in Britain needs to recognise that western education is a threat to our beliefs and values.’ Something is going very wrong at Cambridge. Arday's D.E.I. over-promotion based on his fantasies and cheating (which is what plagiarism used to be called in less mealy-mouthed days) is only a part of it.
This is it, isn't it? The elite universities are supposed to be populated by the elite minds and they are supposed to do elite work. Cambridge University was not set up to witter DEI sociological bollocks and when folk who do that rock up it is probably because CU has wanted... money! Shame on them.
Dare we ask if the internationalist Mr Tory Blather had this objective in mind when he transfered unemployed school-leavers from the dole queue to the student-loan-repaying horde. Did he really aim to destroy the quality of elite tertiary education?
Do you know what? I think that he did.
Post a Comment