The Sunday Ishmael: 29/03/2026

A Tale of Spite, Bureaucracy and the Over-Reach of Power,
or
Doesn't Everyone Hate the Planning Department?

This is the Italian Chapel on the tiny island of Lamb Holm, owned by Tommy Sinclair. The island and the Chapel. Lamb Holm is one of the isles linked by the Churchill Barriers.

You will remember that the Barriers were constructed out of concrete blocks by Italian prisoners of war during the Second World War. At the time, one of the  war laws was that you couldn't use prisoners of war on military projects, although Hitler disregarded that convention, in his mysterious Project Riese, between 1943 and 1945. The Project consisted of seven underground structures at Książ Castle and in the Owl Mountains in Lower Silesia, which was then Nazi Germany and is now Poland. Construction work was carried out by forced labourers, prisoners of war, and concentration camp prisoners, many of whom lost their lives in appalling conditions, kept underground in the dark and wet, denied medical help and were half-starved.

We weren't like that, of course. Churchill wanted to erect a barrier to prevent German U boats sneaking into Scapa Flow and blowing up our Fleet. The block ships - old rusting hulks towed to the Flow and sunk to impede enemy shipping and submarines from entering - had failed to keep out Kapitänleutnant Günther Prien, who,  in 1939, became famous for sinking the British battleship HMS Royal Oak in the heavily defended British Home Fleet main harbour at Scapa Flow on 14 October. Even Winston Churchill described it as "a remarkable feat of professional skill and daring", for which feat he was honoured by the Iron Cross. 835 Naval personnel died in the sinking of the Royal Oak, including 100 boy sailors. Depends on whose side you are on whether you see him as a mass murderer or a war hero.

Anyway, we needed to keep Johnny Foreigner out of the harbour, and it was pretty nifty to join together the string of little islands with concrete barriers, using PoWs. Except that was contrary to war law, so, by the simple expedient of putting a roadway on top of the Barriers, the military project immediately became a civilian project.

More than 1,000 Italian soldiers captured in North Africa were sent to Orkney in February 1942 to build The Churchill Barriers. Around half were transported to Camp 60 in Lamb Holm and a similar number to Camp 34 in Burray. Being good Catholic boys, they needed a chapel. The prisoners were accommodated in Nissan huts. Two huts were made available to be used as a chapel. Dominico Chiocchetti, a talented artist,  was given permission to work full time on the chapel. 

The Madonna and Child painting above the altar was based on an image on a prayer card his mother gave him before he left home for war. 

When Italy surrendered to allied forces in 1943, the PoWs could not go home because of - well, reasons, so the prisoners had to stay in the camps until the end of the war, working away. The Churchill Causeway was officially opened on the 12th May 1945, 4 days after the end of War in Europe.  Mr Chiocchetti returned to the chapel several times after the war to restore parts of his work, before he died in 1999 aged 89.

The uninhabited island, Lamb Holm, was bought by Tommy Sinclair, who set up Lamb Holm Enterprises on the 25th September 2015. He will be 79 in May. Companies House tells us that he has previously held Directorships in various fishing enterprises. Under his Directorship, there have been improvements at the Chapel. Over 100,000 visitors a year visit the site - tourists under their own steam, or, increasingly, visitors from the cruise liners in sodding great coaches, which had difficulty in manoeuvring around the little carpark.

So, in March 2024, Tommy applied for planning permission to build a new car park area for coaches and went ahead with the construction later that year. Planning applications proceed in geological time, so it is only now that the application has reached and been turned down by Orkney's planning committee.

They don't like it, see, people going ahead without their permission and constructing a car park on their own land using their own money. Why, if everyone did that, what would happen to all the important planning jobs?  

The Planning Manager, Jamie Macvie, locally known as Jamie MacTree due to his habit of refusing any application that would involve removing a tree,  advised Council to refuse the application because it would spoil the view of the Chapel from the road, saying the view is: “key to the experience of visiting” the site. Historic Environment Scotland and the Islands Archaeologist both objected, saying there is an adverse impact on the chapel’s setting.

It is a carpark, for pity's sake. Most of the time it will be empty. All winter, which, in Orkney, lasts from October to April. Even when the cruise ships visit, all the passengers are tucked up back on their liners in time for tea.

Mr Sinclair said he had become concerned about the safety of pedestrians at the site from reversing vehicles and was “disgusted” by the decision. He says he is now considering closing the chapel. That'll learn them. Go, Tommy, Go!

Councillor Duncan Tullock said it “should be a salutary lesson to applicants to consult with the planning authority before taking action”. He added: “I sympathise with the fact that the bus parking is required. But there are stages you have to go through, and not take the law into your own hands.” 

Fuck's sake. A world-renowned historic site. 100,000 visitors a year. Doesn't cost the Council anything to run it or to provide carparking. Council knows that parking is needed. Bloke had a carpark built at his own expense. Planning and Council are miffed that the bloke took the law into his own hands. So they spite him by refusing permission. I hope he spites them back by closing the Chapel. Puts up a big chain-link fence and holds midnight Satanic orgies, with liberal libations of a good Italian red. 

Wait- wasn't Angela Raynor going to do something about the insolence of office and the law's delay?

Anyroadup, it seems that the current War still isn't being taken seriously. I suppose it will take a ballistic missile landing on London to make a convincing argument. Interesting fact emerged on the Politics programmes this morning: in 2024/25 the United Kingdom spent an estimated 313 billion  pounds on welfare. In that same year, we spent 60.2 billion on defence. 

Did you hear Pope Leo, poncing about Vatican Square in his hat and best dress, pontificating (see what I did there?)

that God just won't listen to the prayers of leaders who start wars  and have hands filled with blood? Good-oh, thought I, there's Papa firing a round of fucks into Iran and its poxy proxies, Hamas, Hezbollah and the Houthis. But, no, turns out he was admonishing President Trump.

Talking of hats and best dresses, did you catch the investiture of Archbishop Sarah?

Well, what can you say? 

Good Evening, Huw Welshman Yere.

Do watch Power, the Downfall of Huw Edwards, the Channel 5 Drama Documentary starring Martin Clunes very successfully impersonating the nonce Edwards.

One of the best lines was given to the father of the boy Edwards paid to provide him with sexual favours. When the dad went to the BBC to complain about the money Edwards was giving his son, who spent it on funding his drug habit, he was refused admission, whereupon the exasperated father shouted: "Can't the BBC keep its nonces under control?"
......................................................

There are four splendid anthologies of the writings of stanislav and mr ishmael, compiled by his friend, mr verge, the house filthster. You can buy them from Amazon or Lulu. Here's how:

Honest Not Invent, Vent Stack, Ishmael’s Blues, and the latest, Flush Test (with a nice picture of the late, much lamented, Mr Harris of Lanarkshire taking a piss on a totem pole) are available from Lulu and Amazon. If you buy from Amazon, it would be nice if you could give a review on their website.

IIshmaelites wishing to buy a copy from lulu should follow these steps 

please register an account first, at lulu.com. This is advisable because otherwise paypal seems to think it's ok to charge in dollars, and they then apply their own conversion rate, which might put the price up slightly for a UK buyer. Once the new account is set up, follow one of the links below (to either paperback or hardback) or type "Ishmael’s Blues" into the Lulu Bookstore search box. Click on the “show explicit content” tab, give the age verification box a date of birth such as 1 January 1960, and proceed.

Link for Hardcover : https://tinyurl.com/je7nddfr

Link for Paperback : https://tinyurl.com/3jurrzux

https://www.lulu.com/shop/ishmael-smith/flush-test/paperback/product-9yjvn7.html?q=Flush+Test&page=1&pageSize=4

At checkout, try WELCOME15 in the coupon box, which (for the moment) takes 15% off the price before postage. If this code has expired by the time you reach this point, try a google search for "Lulu.com voucher code" and see what comes up.

With the 15% voucher, PB (including delivery to a UK address) should be £16.84; HB £27.04.

Kirkwall, Orkney

British Summer Time starts.