Avid Ishmaelians will remember how we broke the Phantasm Flying Fucking Fishing Boat of Doom story on the 21st and the 28th October 2022. Since then, one of the two communication cables linking Orkney to mainland Scotland has been sliced, causation not revealed. A number of main stream media news stories, up to, including, and as many as precisely none, followed. Until, that is, today. Our Jolly Pink Giant MP, funboy Alistair Carmichael
was interviewed on Radio Orkney this morning, informing us that the Admiral Vladimirsky, one of a fleet of Russian Ghost ships, so-called because they have their location trackers switched off whilst conducting surveillance operations on our windfarms and communication cables, has been up to no good in our waters. The Beeb and the Telegraph are now all over it - a bit late, since the story relates to events last November.
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Anyway, now that it is officially acknowledged that we have Klingons off the starboard bow, this bit of nonsense seems appropriate - well, it makes as much sense as anything else: