Sunday 27 February 2022

The Sunday Ishmael 27/02/2022 Best Get Some Tins In, Mother.

 See the source image
 Spam, corned beef, Ye Olde Oake Ham, sardines, cullen skink, chicken soup. No good having a freezer full of food when the power is cut off. 
 See the source image
Former film star,  President Volodymyr Zelenskyy, is directing the Ukrainian/Russian conflict as though he was starring in a Hollywood blockbuster. He has handed out 180,000 guns to the citizens of Kiev Kiyiv  Kyiv and told them to kill Russians. He has instructed the population in the making of Molotov  cocktails. The BBC is slavishly reporting all this, with no hint of a Really? Really?? and is giving a platform to anyone who would like to be interviewed about how horrid Putin is and how nasty war is. Nowhere is there a hint that the course of wisdom that would prevent bloodshed and prevent the Western world being drawn into a devastating war is for President Zelenskyy to enter into constructive discussions with Putin and embark upon a peace process in which Ukraine relinquishes its NATO ambitions.
Instead we have the BBC stirring up war fever, and providing camera time to Tank Girl Truss yet again.
War-Mongering Lizzie put her foot down on the Sophie Show today. Bloody scary, the thought that she might have anything whatsoever to do with what she describes as Putin's War. "More sanctions, tougher sanctions, tighten the ratchet, hit list of Russian Oligarchs we are targeting, squeezing bank assets, new legislation, taking apart every part of the Russian system. Prosecute them as war criminals. Nobody ever thought there would be a war on European soil."
Really? Aren't you Foreign Secretary? Did you really have no inkling, when you were swanning about Red Square in your Fur Hat? 
Sophie encouraged her to speculate that Putin might launch a nuclear attack. Tank-Girl was right up for that. Wouldn't rule it out.
So why the hell do you not advise Dancing Zelenskyy to stop with the emotional belligerence? Save lives, save the planet. Mind you - a nuclear winter would put paid to Global warming. 
Tank Girl also thinks it entirely acceptable that Britain will be hit by the Sanctions Backlash; that poor people in Birmingham, in Glasgow, in London - yes, there are some poor folk there as well - will be faced by a soaring rise in the cost of living, will be cold and hungry, because we are fighting for Freedom of Democracy and it is right we take, as she says, an economic hit. She also encouraged Britons to go to Ukraine and fight as individual volunteers. Honest, not Invent.
There's a Russian oil tanker due in to Flotta (Orkney's oil terminal) on Tuesday. The Sanctioning Powers are going to turn it back.
 
The editorial position at Call Me Ishmael has not changed since the last Ukrainian difficulty in 2014. The Tories were in charge then as well, the Right Honourable Miscarriages Hague having the Foreign Secretarial gig under CallMeDave Cameron. Cameron and Hague, who called in aid his wife's gynaecological records to refute scurrilous rumours that he was as gay as a May morning, though, were not a patch on Johnson and Truss.
 
COOKING WITH THE CAMERONS. CHICKEN KIEV
 
This is the six o clock news from the PBC, the home of institutionalised noncing, AND Chris Patten, with me, Huw Welshman.  And the top story is the rioting in some Russian shithole - angry ragheads, angry neo-nazis, angry communists and angry lesbian pop groups, I shouldn't fucking wonder. Oh and some braindead,  angry cops. Gay most of them, coppers, same the whole world over. And as for fucking Russia, well it's run by gay gangsters isn't it, look you, boyo. And Vladimir Putin?  Don't start me talking, bent as a nine-bob note, as we used to say back in Merthyr Tydfil, when I was a lad, isn't it.   Over now, anyway, to Downing Street and that fucking numptie, CallHimDave.
Now listen, lessbeclear, just like everyone else, Mrs prime  minister and I like  nothing more  than sitting  down watching Cruelty TeeVee, and having the butler serve us  a plate of mini chickenKievs, on  a bed of Evesham asparagus,  with some Dauphinoise potatoes  on the side, washed down with a nice Mouton Cadet Rothschild.  Now, lessbeevenmoreclear,  the Ukraine capital, Kiev,  is named after this very tasty British chicken dish, created in, Oh, I dunno, Melton Mowbray, isn't it,  and we cannot sit idly by and let all this happen, whatever it is;  the police probly attacking the citizens.  'Snot as though Kiev is London, after all, where that shit happens all the time, no, certainly not, lessbeabsolutelyclear, the mini chickenKiev industry is vital to our economy, countless highly skilled and poorly paid  workers are engaged in reclaiming all the under-utilised bits from chickens - the lips, the eyes, the beaks, the claws and the bowels and so on, all perfectly delicious - 


 mixing it all up in a big sort of bowl thing, adding some chicken flavouring, colourings and stabilisers and what-not, rolling it into tempting little balls, dipping it in delicious crumb coating and then injecting it with a garlic-flavoured synthetic butter product, quite ingeniously made  from petroleum by-products


 so that all the busy housewife has to do when she comes home from her badly paid zero-hours contract employment is pop the delicious little chicken Kievs in the microwave and have her butler prepare the asparagus and les pommes dauphinoise, best to let the Mouton Cadet breathe for a while, so the footman can probably do that before the working Mum gets home. It's easy to see why a Russian city would want to name itself after such a delicious part of British cuisine.  Team Nigella?  No, no, I shouldn't think so. Don't think she does mechanically reclaimed meat. Unless you mean her tits and her big fat arse.  Cocaine??? Instead of garlic?? Now look.  Let me make this clear, I am on record as saying that we have all done things when we were younger which should never be mentioned.  How much younger? Well, yesterday. Simply not fair to quiz me about what I said or did yesterday.  

And I'd just like to remind people of the other aspect of BrandKiev which is that while it may be true that the employers in this fine, traditional British industry are too mean to pay the workers a living wage and so the taxpayer has to help them out with scrounger-benefits this doesn't matter because with the money they save on wages the employers are able to make significant donations to  the Conservative Party, so, the country, in a very real sense, gets the money back.  Tax?  No, I don't believe you have your facts right, they actually pay a rate of 0.010 per cent and not the 0.001 per cent  you wrongly stated.  I am sure you will agree that this is a huge saving to the Treasury and further evidence that the Chancellor, the Governor of the Bank and the CBI are all lying from the same hymn sheet.  Mr Coulson??
Well, as I've already said, I believe in giving people a second chance, And a third and fourth and fifth.  But only, lessbeclear, if, like myself, they work for Mr Murdoch.
And they help me stay fit and trim, those mini Chicken Kievs.
I mean, look, how can we let some rioting Russian  gay people jeopardise such a vital part of our, um,  thing, the GD wotsaname. 'Snot as though I didn't invent gay marriage for them.  I did. But,  and it is in my judgement a very big but, lessbefair, miniChickenKievs are bigger than all of us, gay, straight or Hagueish.
So that's that, then. As a  scholar, myself, and a distinguished military historian I am happy, not only to have been able to rescue the nation from whatever it was that we are all together against, but to have been able to deliver this small lecture on history and geography, and, of course, gastronomy; if only Mr Gove could recruit teachers as able as myself; if only, some might say, poor Mr Gove was in his right mind, and not a dribbling, delusional, spit-flecked nutter.
That was the unelected prime minister for you there, outside number ten Downing Street and FuckMeJesus he really is as thick as pigshit, isn't he, all that money squandered on his education.  That other cunt's at it again, too,  the Yorkshire Fairy, William Miscarriage,  he's  gobbing-off, look you, like he does,  about what he will and will not put up with, like anybody gives a fuck;  Syria all over again.  Emphatic this, emphatic that, stupid cunt, blustering his poxy arse off. Mark my words, viewers, and I don't want to put you off your teas or anything, isn't it,  but some big Russian fairy'll grab him and give him the old Balalaika Shuffle  up the jacksie,  that'll shut the stupid fucker up, look you, boyo.
 
 HIGH NOON IN KIEV.
Sings: Do not forsake me, oh my Rentboy.
I must say that in my judgement an international response is necessary to all this homosexual rioting, blahblahblah,  especially the dykey ones and I and my fellow foreign ministers are discussing sanctions and immediate and far-reaching changes.  Just as we did in Syria, which we don't talk about now, even though it was a triumph of diplomacy.  For Mr Putin and his team. The United Kingdom condemns these actions whatever they are in the strongest terms. And thank fuck to get out of Westmister for a spot of bumtourism.  By permitting such action to take place, the Ukrainian government is putting itself at odds with reasonable opinion all across the world; he blethered. 
My cock remains on the table, I mean my options, we are ruling nothing in and ruling nothing out. It is not right to describe protesters as terrorists, although it is exactly how we describe strikers and poor people back in the UK. And disabled people. You may say that ay great many of them are simply seeking ay better future for their country but in fact, mr tiny speaker, what they are doing is seeking to subvert  the efforts of ay democratically unelected govament, consisting of talentless, criminal hypocrites such as my right honourable and determinedly heterosexual self.
I think the European Union has to act in a way that helps to stop the violence. There has to be an international response to what has happened over the last few days, whatever it is, fucked if I know.
It is time on all sides for people to turn away from violence, apart, obviously, from the very necessary violence towards vulnerable people which is the hallmark of any responsible govamant,  but the Ukrainian government bears a particular responsibility to take the lead in making sure that happens. So there. And I would remind people that I speak as a sixteen-pints a night man.

It is one of the more distressing aspects of my later life that this revolting creature, Hague, head polished, teeth filed and corseted into his ridiculous suit'n'tie outfits minces round the world claiming to speak for I and my ordinary fellow citizens. Like the obnoxious, blackmailing fairy, Mandelstein, before him, Hague is the darling of MediaMinster's degenerate horde;  oh, I could wet myself when I hear him speaking, so clever, so erudite, say most Tory MPs. And he's fit, too. Fuck him, the freak; fuck all MPs,  I hope he dies of the arse-pox.

Young-ish love in happier days, young Chris with fists clenched, perhaps in memory, perhaps in anticipation, perhaps both.
 
 Yes, Chris and I sleep together but just to save money on hotel bills, says millionaire homosexual.
mr ishhmael, February 2014
 ..........................................................................
Now, just because we are not keen on total global nuclear meltdown, think that NATO provoked the crisis by its remorseless Eastward Expansion and believe Dancing Queen Zelenskyy should grit his teeth and do the Balalaika Shuffle, it does not mean that we think Putin is safe, cuddly, or that he is anything less than a very successful dictator. He certainly overcame a little local difficulty in 2011. Here's  mr ishmael:

WHAT THE PAPERS SAY, THE TIMES OF INDIA, RUSSIAN DEMONSTRATORS SAY FUCK OFF PANSY PUTIN. 26/12/2011
 
 LET ME RIG YOUR VOTES FOR YOU, COMRADE-DEARIES.

 MOSCOW: Tens of thousands of protesters gathered here on Saturday for a second large antigovernment demonstration , as a wave of new activists struggle to convert an inchoate burst of energy into a durable political force.
Organizers hope to build on the success of the Dec 10 protests, which mobilized a broad collection of previously apolitical middle-class Russians angry over parliamentary elections earlier this month that many rejected as fraudulent and slanted in favor of the ruling party, United Russia.
If the movement can sustain its intensity, it could alter the course of presidential elections in March, when Vladimir V Putin plans to extend his status as the country's dominant figure to 18 years.
The crowd began forming more than an hour before the beginning of the protest, for which city authorities granted a permit for up to 50,000 people. Organizers estimated the crowd at 120,000; the police offered a lower estimate of about 29,000.

The protests have shaken the Kremlin, which has not encountered widespread public resistance since Putin became president in 1999. (The Times of India)
-----------------------------------------------------
Against the dreary, OCD  media backdrop of the Dow-Jones Index, these  events are startling and must foster optimism, all these Occupy this and that movements  in the Westthe violent protests in the Middle East and North Africa - aside from those owned by NATO - and now the Russians are expressing their righteous discontent with their own version of political musical chairs; something is happening, worldwide, and I wish I knew what it was;  wish I had the strength and courage to go and join something.
Having seen the overthrow of  the Soviet Union, modern Russians are less in awe of the repulsive  criminal Putin than he might think.  Vlad and his chums,  trading positions every few years, of course echo the deal in MediaMinster, where, only once in a blue moon is a non-party, independent individual permitted entry to the legislature,  the levers of power passing, otherwise, more or less seamlessly from one dinosaur  party to another.  The BBC and  skymadeupnewsandfilth have always ruthlessly suppressed or ridiculed any alternative political catechism, any on-air voice raised in dissent is Dimblebied with extreme prejudice and audiences are compelled to dutifully applaud a panel of their thieving tormentors - slaghacks, dimwit entertainers and shiteating politicians, all pontificating emptily, yet  carefully within the envelope. The BBC has been doing this  shit forever, forming stooges  into a panel which then selectively addresses approved questions, vetted by the producers,  the governors, the board of trustees and whichever crime  family is  occupying Downing Street.
I bought a two British pounds,  Christmas Eve, hard copy  of the Daily Filth-o-Graph, a 'paper I read through most of the 'nineties and it was just a big, papery bundle of rubbish - the news, or what passes for the news, was out of date before it was printed,  the op-ed was Home Counties, jingoistic, God is British claptrap, neither informative nor provocative,  as the Filth-O-Graph used to be; the property section was for multi-millionaires, as were all the elite consumer products, Oh, and they have a blonde cookess, called Xanthe,  they would have, wouldn't they?  I have been wondering who on Earth buys these things;  having long ago broken my own newspaper addiction, I had assumed, nevertheless, that the broadsheets must still contain material by authors and in a form  that one simply cannot acquire on CyberStreet,  I was wrong  - everything is online - and since I stopped buying them, the physical form of the newspapers has become, to me, at any rate, just fucking irritating,  the pages stick together; if you don't have a valet to iron them, they are dirty with ink; if you pick them up or set them down carelessly they fall apart, never to be correctly reassembled;  to get to the serious stuff you have to wade through pages littered with out-of-date images of  old crows, lady writers, once someone's bright, shiny niece or mistress, now scrawny and embittered, grinding a shedful  of axes, Vicki Woods, Rosa Prince;  who knows, maybe they started out as buxom, blouse-bursting schoolgirl porn on the Filth-O-Graph's famous A-level results front pages, and now they write columns moaning about the quality of the help - us. Oh, yes and there are vital pages of  closely-printed stocks and shares prices -  the Daily Lie  - which, let's face it, will be flashing away, updated to the second, on the various multiscreens of those interested in committing such offences.  In a way, it was, despite my loathing of the Barclay Twins and most Filth-O-Graph writers, a bit of a disappointment to find that it really was the dead, DeadTreePress, good for fuck all,  and more expensive, even, than proper firelighters.
But even though our own mass media are rotten and corrupt, I have always been suspicious of the Twitter Revolution,  the Facebook Fifth Column and am even moreso having watched Emily Maitless schmoozing the Facebook Founder, wotsisname, Jabberwocky, another autistic, bulletheaded American bleating about Freedom while working for the CIA and Wall Street. The idea that consumerjunky hand-held devices might  spark and enflame revolutions has always seemed risible to me -  I can't come, I'm just so not up for it, I don't have that civil disobedience app, but can we catch up over  a latte;  just as likely, it has seemed to me, that James Dyson and his infinitely recurring vacuum cleaner are the key to true human fulfillment.
But something is going on, something, some movement or movements utterly indifferent to leaderwriters, broadcasters, legislators and all the other forms of Filthlife are undermining the JerichoWalls of political certainty;  it is axiomatic, I guess, that revolutions are not recognised as such until they are over, one way or another.
Maybe not all the youth obediently watch Strictly Celebrity Factor, are not habituated to the soma-banality pumped at them relentlessly by GlobaCorp, maybe, despite  the very best efforts of  their creators, the handheld devices will help people to burn down the mission, rape the nuns, kill the children and poison the well, or whatever it is that revolutionaries do in addition to putting govaments up against the wall.
I heard Fat King Alec  Salmond of Scotland, a while back,
smirking in best PutinSpeak, to Scotland's abnormally compliant journalists about what he called political attack blogs;  these, opined the fat, greedy, cross-dressing  bastard - to, naturally,  not one word of protest from the McHacks - were not what the Internet was for -  I think he said...and of course, political blogs are  not what the Internet was invented for. Worth savouring for a moment or two, that one, from the leader of Free Scotland,  your betters will decide what should be on the Internet.
If, even here in the Mutha of Parliaments, an elected politician can, as did McFatMan, get away with that sort of mediaeval claptrap, then we must send our best wishes to those currently oppressed in Russia by the thinly disguised hand of the KGB.
Is Putin gay? It really doesn't matter, what matters is a new Russian Revolution. All the wealthy bandits and murderers and torturers can all come and find sanctuary in London, where they are, apparently, most welcome. London, the New Havana.
Apples an' pears, apples an' pears, frog an' toad,  trouble an' strife; diamond geezer, that Roman Abramovitch, an 'onorary Cockney, that's what 'e is.
 ..........................................................
 
Anagram Corner:
The solution to last Sunday's four anagrams was:  
war by other means
I believe that mr. verge has already apologised.
 ...............................................................

Honest Not Invent and Vent Stack - anthologies of the work of mr ishmael and stanislav, the young Polish plumber - can be purchased  from Amazon or from Lulu. Register an account with Lulu to save a couple of quid, as going straight into the link provided below seems to make paypal think it's ok to charge in dollars, and apply their own conversion rate, which will put the price up slightly for a UK buyer. Once the new account is set up, follow our link; a pop-up box asks for age confirmation - simply set the date to (say) 1 January 1960, and proceed. (If you type the title, the anthology will not appear as a search result until the "show explicit content" box - found at the bottom left by scrolling down - has been checked.  You may also see the age verification box, as above, at this point.) 

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53 comments:

mongoose said...

Better get to the Co-op quickly tomorrow, mrs i, and get all the pasta and bogrolls you can carry.

I have given up watching the tv news because it is so infuriatingly doltish. I don't want to watch Kevin from the BBC ask Sasha from the BBC what Billy from the BBC thinks. But I weakened this evening as there seems to be a fuck-off convoy of Rooskie troops and kit approaching Kiev from the north. This is the news of the evening, I thought, I'll find out what's going on. The telly boys though thought more interesting that Mad Bad Vlad has annoyed his people because they won't be allowed to play footie with the other boys. Telly back off now. Possibly permanently.

Mike said...

Mr mongoose: Down Here its full on propaganda - even little Australia is going to send arms to Ukraine. FFS.

Out internet is being heavily censored. It started last Thursday - my broadband kept going off-line and re-booting itself; its fiber to the house and generally rock solid. I was suspicious. Since then, a number of my favorite "alternative" news channels are un-reachable. Seems like there is a furious cyber battle being fought to try and suppress the truth.

A telling comment I just heard: there is info-war and real war. Russia is hopeless at the former not the latter.

Re the real war in Ukraine: from online-sources available, which I regard as reliable, it will soon be over. The north and south pincers have almost closed around the bulk of the Ukie forces in East Ukraine (100k men and equipment). Classic Russian cauldron tactics. Then its surrender or die. The general feeling is that most Ukie regular army will surrender (which is what Russia wants, or they would have gone in much heavier by now); only the fanatics will fight. The major cities in the Eastern half of Ukraine incl Kiev are surrounded and in the process of being captured.

Interestingly, there was a report yesterday, which is corroborated by numerous other reports and videos, that Russia has sent into Ukraine its second level troops (still very good) but that the real elite forces were amassing near Brest. Brest is in West Belarus, just north of the West border of Ukraine. This could be for a massive flanking move south down the Poland-Ukraine border, or could be a reserve in case anyone in NATO gets funny ideas.

Vlad has also put his strategic nuclear forces on high alert, so he must have been reading what Liz Truss has been saying.

mrs ishmael said...

"They won't be allowed to play footie with the other boys", nor can they join in the singing competition, mr mongoose. That will drive the Muscovites into revolution, for sure. The Eastern nations take Eurovision very seriously. The songs have nothing whatsoever to do with it - how could they? They are all shite. I watched it one year with an Estonian called Olga, who explained the political and strategic significance of each vote.
Maybe you could tune your television to Russia Today, for alternative propaganda? Until it is blocked, that is.

mrs ishmael said...

The streams of Ukrainians jamming the roads and mobbing the train stations as they attempt to get out of their country as fast as they can - all reported by the BBC with what they design to be heart rending detail - does not seem to have led any commentator to draw the conclusion that Ukrainians have no confidence in their President. Their Dancing Leader - he was a popular contestant on the Ukrainian Celebrity Come Dancing - has a background as a film and TV star and professional comedian, which hardly provides him with the tools and ability to come to a political settlement with Putin.
No wonder Putin regards Ukraine as light weight.
Interesting that Australia is restricting your internet access, mr mike. Orkney seems to be caught up in the cyber wars, too - the council's IT Director issued warnings that the Game's Afoot.
And then there's the Russian oil tankers. Orkney's Harbour Master was on Radio Orkney this morning, explaining that, despite the pro - Ukrainian demonstrations held in Orkney over the weekend, he was, regretfully, legally required to let the tanker dock on Tuesday.

mongoose said...

Early chores here at Mongoose Towers required a silly o'clock start. And so the radio at the dead of night thing happened again. It is almost always less well managed, less orderly and disciplined, and therefore more interesting than what you get during the day.

And mr mike's point about the elite Rooskie forces not yet having been pitched in popped up and argued against both a) Putin's displeasure with apparently slower progress than western propaganda maintains should have been attained, and b) the next control on Mad Bad Vlad's desk being the nuclear one. It's perhaps a 1940 phony war at the moment. Although real people and their real children still get killed when even limited amounts of ordnance are lobbed about the place. The general view was that Mr P has drawn a new line on his map, will make a frontier along it and strangle whatever opposition remains behind it unless it sits down and gets on with its internet shopping. The consensus was that it certainly doesn't include Poland but that the Baltic states were in play if they cut up anything like rough. Belarus is apparently - and as we have seen - already on the team.

It also snuck through that there is a financial creature called the Gazprom Bank and this still has its SWIFT functionality in full working order so that we, or more precisely the Germans, can pay MBV for his lovely gas, even if we are calling him all sorts of nasty names as we do it. A limited smartphone-fed panto perhaps is being played out on our TVs.

The third tidbit I will share with you came from a person calling in (and I missed her background or qualification to speak) but I have yet to hear a more lucid analysis of the failure of modern politics. One notion put forward among others was that almost always we get managerial politicians, the greasy pole favours tactics ahead of stratgy, and managers are always fixing the problems of the mundane, and of the past. This is why we remember the ones who aren't such because they are the ones who shake the tree. If you agree with them, you love them to bits, and if you don't agree, you hate them for all time. Names were bandied about: Reagan, murdered in his crib Kennedy, Thatcher, Atlee. Gamechangers. Blair was mentioned but didn't make the cut. Vlad didn't make the cut either.

mongoose said...

continued...


I then got punched on the snout because the lady then asked how recently was it that any of them (us!) had changed a political opinion of their own? These are all formed when we're kids ourselves and often because of what happens to us personally, or what happened to our parents, or what we see happening around us. So we are all cut from the cloth of our prejudices and injuries. (I have told you all here more than once of the cynicism of the 1970's timetabled car factory strikes and the lumpen industrial leaders of the time. Crikey. Quick singalong: 'This town is looking like a ghost town...')

Putin perhaps is still fighting his KGB cold war with his eyes and his guns trained to the West, when his enemies are to his East and South. He's still trying to work out what to do with his accidental post-WWII empire of reconquered ex-Nazi ground. (That was never Russia, Vlad, ye daft git.) He is not looking east where a great wodge of eastern Russia is Russian only because nobody could previously live there. But now its the greatest untapped natural resource left on the planet. And those people live their lives in the Pacific sphere and look to there for their future. What would happen if China decided it would quite like some of that? The ship started to veer alarmingly off course at this point as the third 'muslim world' player took to the pitch. Russia, she said, is an ancient Christian land and has more in common with its northern european neighbours than it does with the southern hordes that have been hammering at the gates of europe for a thousand years. This was too much even for the darkness and the windowsill to hear and the tap was turned off, and the moment was lost.

(Apologies for rambling on.)

mongoose said...

A military man speaks:

https://youtu.be/HUnGxac1ZjE

https://youtu.be/b1HFCTXamos

There's a little bit of realism and commonsense advice. Not idealistic perhaps but is a route to the smallest body count on all sides.

ultrapox said...

i humbly confess that, due to my complete ignorance of all matters military - including military history - i failed miserably to predict this most recent russian invasion of ukraine...

however, given the unabated shelling of ethnic russians by the ukrainian army and the persistent refusal by the nazi alliance of totalitarian oppression to negotiate its belligerent european position, i suppose that, with hindsight, the piece-meal partition of ukraine was - to any reasonably informed observer - inevitable.

as to how the braindead brothers, biden and johnson, accurately called this face-saving war on peace, i cannot begin to imagine - unless of course they themselves triggered it through some devilish double-bluffing trick, performed by malevolent mi6-magicians, which led vlad the invader to believe in the imminence of a full-scale ukrainian assault upon the already bombarded ethnic russian separatists.

well, mr pushkin's paranoiac generals were happy to fall for some such serendipitous haversack-ruse, in any case.

actually, my money's on special agent sarah everard being at the bottom of this bloodbath-delivering deception - together with wank-commander wayne couzens and his ukrainian bio-chemist wife...

but nevertheless, with regard to bum-bomb biden's astonishing clairvoyance and ability to perform this tarkovskian type of telekinesis, i can only surmise that "he who smelt it dealt it".

gordon ramsarse said...

fuck jezza the socialist and his limp-winged whingeing wanky whiny please stop the war campaign: here - with no added political fucking correctness- is my outrageous oven-ready recipe for ending neo-imperialist genocide and ensuring world peace and humanity forever, a-fucking-men.

first, take half-a-dozen neo-liberal nazis, a pair of nasty necrotic neo-cons - one fresh, one cryogenically frozen - and a shitload of garlic

then, stack obama, both clintons, blair, johnson, & biden on top of one another and drive an ethically-sauced wooden stake straight through their fucking hard hypocritical hearts - if they've actually got any

next, place the crypto-neo-colonial cunts in the fieriest fucking oven you can find - and turn the heat progressively higher until the absolute arse-end of fucking eternity

finally, serve the degenerate democratic kebab on a burning hot bed of finely shredded bush - deep fried in best grade basra motor-oil - taking care to drown the bastard lot with a big fuck-off bucketful of russian garlic relish

hand politely to mr pukin

приятного аппетита

mongoose said...

The latest wizard wheeze from Wallace is that Russian soldiers wishing to stop fighting should not seek asylum with the west but should return home to their families and tell their tale. Now I am as ignorant of military matters as mr ultrapox above but I am sure that desertion while on active duty has a short and violent end to it. And exactly how are these lads to get home? Jump down off their armoured personnel carriers and hail a taxi? Idiot.

These prats are getting a lot of ordinary Ukrainians killed.

Wet enough for you down there, mr mike?

mongoose said...

Down to earth analysis of where we are on Day 7.

Putin is not crazy and the Russian invasion is not failing. The West’s delusions about this war – and its failure to understand the enemy – will prevent it from saving Ukraine

Mike said...

Mr mongoose: the kinetic war in Ukraine is, for all intents and purposes, over.

Totally ignore what is in the Western media: its 100% lies and propaganda.

100% of the Ukie air forces is destroyed; 100% of the Navy is destroyed; airfields are destroyed or captured; air defences are destroyed.

65% of the Ukie forces are now encircled in the Donbass, Mariupol, and shortly Odessa. The regular Ukie troops will be given the option of "surrender or die". Importantly, most of the crazies are in those cauldrons; they will not be given that option. So far Russia has been wearing kid gloves so as to minimise civilian damage. But if the Ukies refuse to capitulate, then I'm afraid we will see the gloves come off, and the true horrors of modern warfare.

Leaving behind the Ukraine skirmish, the economic war is hot. The West has shot its wad. But Russia and China (lets not be naive) have escalation dominance. The West may be good at propaganda and narratives, but Russia and China produce real stuff: commodities and manufactured goods. Russia and China can turn up/down the dial at will. These are the oxygen supplies the West relies on. The pain is only just beginning.

Mike said...

PS Mr mongoose: I jokingly said in an earlier thread that in putting its nuclear forces on combat alert, Russia must have been listening to Liz Truss. It turns out I was correct. A Kremlin statement the other day confirmed this as the major factor.

Mike said...

PPS Mr mongoose: here is an up to date map 3/3/22:

https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/ea546062e9c61292ac74ffb36d15fb290df4de7c4d6c7b9f3093bf8567809aee.jpg

Note the action is in the East - barely mentioned in Western media. Th cauldron around Ukie forces in the Donbass. Ukraine now pretty much cut off from the Black sea (which the Russian navy controls any way); Odessa abount to be encircled; a secondary major cauldron forming from Odessa to Kiev.

It seems that the line is being drawn from (roughly) Moldova to the Belarus border West of Kiev. This will be "Novo-Ukraine" under Russian control. The arse end to the West will be give to the Eu to deal with. The Eastern part is traditionally Russian and ethnic Russian.

mongoose said...

Thanks, mr mike, for all of that. I believe that the truth was starting to poke its head out. (There's a chap on Sky News even who has been saying "It's over" for a couple of days.) It is heartless perhaps to say it but the relatively slight casualties inflicted on the civilian populations of the big cities betokened a deliberate attempt to minimise such. This means that MBV intends to keep the cities and the people who wish to stay. Let us hope this stage can be drawn to close without any scaling up of the horror.

As ever, I do not condone; I merely describe.

The MSM is beyond repair.

mongoose said...

I do not understand, mr mike, why the eastern border of Moldova - on the map link you gave - is already Russian fighting eastwards. Unless Moldova is already a Rooskie ally and does not need conquering. Am I confused? It would make sense then (if I am not confused) to close the Belarus line on the Moldova/Ukraine/Romania corner and call it quits.

Mike said...

Mr mongoose: that part of the world and history is very complex and has changed sides many time. I'm certainly not an expert on this. But, my understanding is that what is now Moldova was part of the Russian Empire in the 1800s. It was part of USSR, but became independent when the USSR dissolved. I believe Moldova is quietly pro-Russian; they recently abstained in the UN debate to condemn Russia, if I'm not mistaken. Re the eastern boundary of Moldova, I don't believe its Moldova getting involved, but Russian forces securing the boundary of Ukraine. There were reports early on of 2000 Russian marines on amphibious ships in the Black Sea - it may be those forces? I have even read that Russia may "re-take" Moldova - I assume not militarily, but in some political move or alliance. Very little reported on this, because the emphasis is on the East. But things around Odessa will heat up shortly. As to where the line is drawn, again it goes back to what were historically Russian lands and where the ethnic Russians are. From the maps I have seen (I'll try to post one) Romania is too far west. Its pretty much a line due south for Kiev - actually, a little to the West, but not much.

Mike said...

PS the map has had Cyrillic names auto-translated (some not quite correctly), but the map shows the latest positions accurately.

Mike said...

I did a search for a map on Russian speakers in Ukraine

https://duckduckgo.com/?t=ffab&q=map+ukriane+russin+ethnic+speakers&iax=images&ia=images&iai=https%3A%2F%2Fnewcoldwar.org%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2015%2F03%2FLanguages-of-Ukraine.png

Its as I suggested south of Kiev, slightly to the West

ultrapox said...

when compared to that of western european countries, russia's unusually large excess-death-rate, late last year, hints at a bio-weapon having been deployed against its people - so no wonder perhaps that putin's army made a bear-line for the secret cia-bio-labs based in ukraine, and no wonder of course that the russian military were provoked into an invasion.

in other news, clammy, stuka, and the euro-starmtrooper have all quit their cozy front-bench jobs in parliament to join the asov-battalion.

ultrapox said...

mr mongoose, i cannot find specific reference to 'wallace's wizard wheeze' of encouraging russian soldiers to desert, and then either seek asylum in the uk or return home in order to form an anti-putin peace-movement.

sounds to me more like an idea formed by grommet when sitting on her palace of westminster lavatory.

maybe, ms prickli patel at the home-cleansing department - already rather concerned about the possibility of russian and ukrainian extremists opening up a second front in the uk - put a swift end to such silly notions with a strategically placed knee in her colleagues' nether regions.

what's for certain though, in this never-ending nato-conjured conflict, is that - in order to turn common ukrainian citizens against russia forever - our western governments and their insidious intelligence-services want as many ukrainians to die in futility's killing fields as is inhumanly possible.

of course, even more scary is the evident fact that biden, blinken, and their nutjob neo-con advizers are quite prepared to use european nations as proxy-puppets in washington's 'european' war with the russians - and are even ready to sacrifice their old western european allies in the inevitable military or economic meltdown...

but never mind folks, after a few brutal years of brewing up a progressive and altogether ethical armageddon, the good ol' us of a will probably ride bravely in to save the day and mop up the bloody mess - much like it did so memorably in the latter stages of world war two.

how can our expensively educated leaders be played so god-damned easily?

by-the-way, in these glorious days of politically correct persecution, are we still permitted to drop a tchaikovsky or shostakovich lp onto the stereo-turntable - or must we now nail such degenerate discs to the nearest plank of wood?

mongoose said...

mr ultrapox, sir, the Wallace idiocy was a radio clip I heard repeated on Radio 5 on Tuesday (I think). Just a sec...

mongoose said...

Ok. So that is curious. If you execute the following google search:

https://www.google.com/search?q=%22russian+deserters%22+return+home+radio+interview+radio++5&sxsrf=APq-WBsub4YPuysNxdxFZCoWYlutHMcYYg%3A1646359817671&ei=CXUhYvSuKIrdgQbE85jwDA&ved=0ahUKEwi01-qgsKv2AhWKbsAKHcQ5Bs4Q4dUDCA4&uact=5&oq=%22russian+deserters%22+return+home+radio+interview+radio++5&gs_lcp=Cgdnd3Mtd2l6EAMyBQghEKABOgoIIxCuAhCwAxAnOgQIIRAVOgcIIRAKEKABSgQIQRgBSgQIRhgAUJNPWNxcYKJfaAJwAHgBgAG2AYgB0geSAQM2LjOYAQCgAQHIAQHAAQE&sclient=gws-wiz#cobssid=s

You will see in the summary of the second result that that is what Wallace said but the link no longer shows what the summary says. Do it now because it probably won't be there tomorrow. Those Brits, eh? What are they like?

mongoose said...

No it's there after cache messing:

"He rejected a suggestion that Russian deserters should be offered asylum in the West, saying: 'I take the view that the best thing that Russian deserters can do is go back to Russia, tell the Russian people they are being deceived, tell the Russian people that their military leaders are causing huge amounts of unnecessary suffering and losses because of either incompetence or arrogance, and they can go back and tell the mothers, who are wondering where their thousands of disappeared sons are.'"

from here.

Cannot find an audio clip yet... Patience!

ultrapox said...

thanks mr mongoose: wallace's words of wisdom are quoted right at the bottom of the linked daily mail article; quite honestly, i reckon that reluctant russian soldiers would be safer in western europe than at home.

liz fuss said...

"by-the-way, in these glorious days of politically correct persecution, are we still permitted to drop a tchaikovsky or shostakovich lp onto the stereo-turntable - or must we now nail such degenerate discs to the nearest plank of wood?"

great thinking, mr ultrapox: let's dig up tchaikovsky and crucify the cunt

where's he buried?

mongoose said...

Yeah, it's late in a difficult day, mr u. I think that I overthought that.

Could be worse. Could be in Odessa waiting.

ultrapox said...

indeed, mr mongoose, it has been alleged that civilians in such cities as mariupol and odessa have been forcibly prevented from leaving and are now being used as human shields...

so given the significant greek minority resident in mariupol and the jewish one in odessa, is there not a possibility that either israel or greece might wish to intervene?

for the russian military, the job of defeating hardcore ukrainian nationalists in mariupol and odessa will prove as harrowingly hard as erstwhile allied efforts to winkle isis out of mosul and raqqa.

perhaps, like us, the russians will be forced to create a huge news-blocking distraction - by burning down one of their own residential tower-blocks?

ultrapox said...

sorry: should read "perhaps, like we..."

Mike said...

There are no Russian deserters - that's Western bullshit. Also there are no Russian conscripts. All combat troops in Russia are professional soldiers. There is national service in Russia for males and volunteer females, but they serve in back office roles. BTW, service in Russian armed forces is now very competitive, particularly for elite units.

I have observed that the propaganda in the UK is off the scale, more so even than the US or EU.

Re defeating the nationalists. Kadyrov (leader of Chechnya) has sent Chechen special forces, who are experts in urban counter-terrorism. They earned their spurs in Syria working with Russian forces. These blokes have a fearsome reputation.

ultrapox said...

thank you for that most pertinent information about putin's army, mr mike...

nevertheless, i would be even more grateful if you could enlighten us as to why the russian military might wish to bomb a nuclear power-station in its own backyard.

Mike said...

Again Mr ultrapox, the bombing story is bullshit. Russia made a priority to secure Chernobyl (where Russian and Ukrainian experts now are jointly in control), and the other nuclear power plants - for obvious reasons, plus Ukraine is now out of coal and gas and is running these power plants at max. And Russia is doing its best not to harm civilian infrastructure. So why would Russia shell a nuclear power plant? It makes no sense, and is (pardon my French) bollocks.

mrs ishmael said...

Thank you, mr mike and mr mongoose, for your knowledgeable comments - I'm learning far more from you than from the Propaganda Broadcasting Corporation, which seems intent on thrusting Britain into a Third World War. And thank you,mr ultrapox, for your link to Woody Bop and his Record Graveyard - the sight of him dancing to Abba whilst merrily smashing vintage, collectable and surely expensive vinyl is heart lifting.
The map link was particularly informative, mr mike - looks like Partition might be part of the solution - but NATO's eastward aggressive expansion must be curtailed - to keep us all safe. And mr ultrapox' suggestion that the United States launched a biological war on Russia from Ukrainian bases last year - anything in that? Or is it more propaganda?
I wish mr ishmael was here to tell me what I think.
Orkney's removal firm, McAdie and Reeve, is driving a pantechnicon across Europe loaded with essential items donated by Orcadians for the refugees. Such is the generosity of Orcadians that it will have to be a pantechnicon with elastic sides.Emboldened by its success in having the law changed to prevent Russian tankers docking in Orkney and other British ports,I suspect Orkney is about to declare war on Russia. There seems to be absolutely no ambivalence here: it is a child's Grimm fairy story: Russia bad, Vlad mad, Zelenskyy heroic, Ukrainians plucky.

Mike said...

Re the biological war, Mrs I. All the 10 US bio-labs in Ukraine were destroyed in the first hours. Reportedly by hypersonic Iskander missiles.

Still no formal announcement on Russian counter-sanctions, but they are already de facto happening. Energy and food prices are rising rapidly (Russia is the world's largest wheat exporter and Ukraine 3rd); fertilizer prices are rapidly rising (Russia and Balrus are the world's largest exporters) which makes a lot of agriculture in the West unprofitable unless there are further price rises; Russia considering non-export of strategic metals (titanium, aluminium, rare earths etc); already export of rocket engines is banned - the West relies on Russian rockets to get stuff into space. The freezing of Russian Central Bank assets overseas has been countered with foreign capital export bans - its only a short step to seizing those assets. Recent polls show Vlad's popularity rising.

Bungalow Bill said...

The strutting stupidity of it all is shameful - on all sides. This is humanity in action and it's usually an ugly thing.

We are terrible fools. It's as if we needed redemption.

Mike said...

Just looking at the Filth-o'-graph. Yes, I know, but I like to read the obits. Its gone batshit crazy. Now just publishing outright lies and propaganda. I might be deleting this from my bookmarks.

PS we have some crazy shit Down Here as well, but eventually sanity will be restored - hopefully after elections this year.

mongoose said...

We are now asked to believe that the Rooskies are deliberately or recklessly shelling a nuclear power station and that this creates a risk of a Chernobyl-type incident. The standard of journalism is shockingly low, the journalists themselves eitehr shockingly stupid, shockingly deceitful or perhaps both.

It also seems to have escaped them all that the Ukraine is about the size of France or Spain, which is to say, a big place. Let us attempt to subdue the major cities of France or Spain with minimal bloodshed and see how long that would take.

One thing which does strike me as true is the likelihood of a partisan resistance. A forced occupation of the western part of the Ukraine might turn out to be a bloody affair.

Mike said...

Mr mongoose: the nuclear plant thingy has been completely debunked as fake news. There was a firefight between Russian and Ujies which resulted in an administrative building on fire which local Ukie firefighters put out. The plant is under joint Ukie Russian control, no issues as far as the IAEA report.

What seems to be emerging, things could change, is that Russia will set up novo-Ukriane upto a line west of Kiev to Moldova west of Odessa. All the crazies will be either killed or exported to west Ukraine around Lvov - an area which was not traditionally Russian. This will be gifted to the EU - a poison pill.

mrs ishmael said...

I had a shocking moment earlier today when I turned on the TV for my news fix. Russia Today has been rendered unavailable. So I tried to access it on line. It is there, but all the content has been rendered unavailable in my country.
So the propaganda war in Britain, at least, will be one sided. All those earnest BBC journos bravely reporting from Ukraine's cities.
This last two years has seen the British Government remove all civil liberties - first in response to Covid and now in support of a war on the other side of Europe. As mr BB says - terrible, terrible fools. A very flawed species, humans. Clever, destructive monkeys.

mongoose said...

Bringing my long years of military service to bear, mr mike, I still think a line more or less due north from the Moldova/Romania/Ukraine corner. And as you say, crazies to the west of there. That is effectively the Ukrainian-only-speaking bit from your map of earlier in the week.

Mike said...

The sad fallout from all this, when the dust settles and the new multiplar world is a fact, is that the US will find a way to resolve its differences and engage with Eurasia and Russia in particular. Please excuse my French, but Europe (particularly the UK) is fucked. They have burned all their bridges competing to suck uncle Sam's cock.

Mike said...

Ps Mr mongoose: woke up today to the news of Warnie's death. A bit of a shock. I wasn't a fan of his, but have to recognise what he brought to cricket.

ultrapox said...

mrs ishmael, with regard to the possibility of ukraine having conducted biological warfare against russia, may i state that i have personally encountered no russian propaganda suggesting such a scenario - but that i originally deduced this possibility from analysis of russian and ukrainian excess-death-rates in comparison to those of western european countries.

it was the euromomo-site which first alerted me to last year's large spike in the ukrainian excess-death-rate, however ukraine's statistics have now been completely removed from that web-page.

russia's excess-death-rate may still be examined on the moscow times pandemic-page, and the excess-death-rates of russia, ukraine, and all other european countries may still be compared by studying the economist's excess-death-tracker.

bulgarian journalist dilyana gaytandzhieva has been investigating the pentagon's funding of bio-labs in eurasia for some years:


the pentagon bio-weapons

dilyana gaytandzhieva: why is the pentagon funding bio-labs in ukraine & around eurasia


usa today's 'fact-checked' denial of us bio-labs existing in ukraine almost certainly proves the exact opposite to be true - however please note that the actual existence of the ukrainian bio-labs is not disputed.

mongoose said...

mr ultrapox, anyone and everyone calling themselves a fact-checker is almost by definition a liar and a fraud. The world would be better if they were all hanged tomorrow, or better yet, today. The pomposity of it sickens even the hens in the back garden.

Warne was a typical Oz ocker, loudmouth bastard. But what a bowler he was, mr mike. And quietly he was a generous bloke to the game and those less lucky, less good at the game.

The cockwaffle from cockwombles about the nuclear power site is idiotic. Nuclear containments are designed to withstand God himself.

ultrapox said...

given their placard-carrying membership of the campaign for nuclear disarmament, i feel somewhat sorry for dear old lizzie's radical left-wing parents, who must at present feel profoundly ashamed of their daughter: not because she's become a bit of tory-twat - that particular ideological choice must always be preserved in any properly functioning democracy - but rather because she contrarily opted to join the campaign for nuclear destruction, and subsequently turned into a neo-nazi nuke-toting nato-nutjob.

little lizzie's perverse political deviation could, naturally, all be the fault of muesli-munching mum and dad dragging her on a cold and arduous cnd march against her will - an atrociously cruel act which, in certain conservative circles, could today be considered to constitute de facto child-abuse.

still, the curious parental decision to send loose-cannon lizzie to oxford university cannot be discounted as the decisive factor in her dismal social degeneration - that venereal institution having always been known as a notorious production-line for extreme right-wing establishment-tools and assorted tory-toss-pots.

of course, the real human-tragedy of this disturbing family-saga is that, if, instead of pushing loopy lizzie into politics, mummy and daddy had encouraged her to go into, say, construction, then she could now be usefully employed building a bullshit-proof nuclear bunker for them.

ultrapox said...

when i first moved to london during the early eighties, we had, prominently displayed in our flat-share's sitting-room, an at-the-time hit-poster which depicted an american cruise-missile against the background of a mushroom-cloud-sprouting scene of nuclear devastation, and it duly read: home improvements - why bother?...

however, in a modern era when even most students can expect to live in relative domestic luxury, i propose that a parallel piece of anti-war-propaganda should more aptly be captioned: further education - why bother?

it's all so very sad really

ultrapox said...

further to my earlier comment dated 3rd march 2022 at 23:57hrs...

the major difference between world war two and this present 'european' conflict - which washington-warmongers are so cowardly seeking to escalate on our continental turf - is that this time around, american citizens could be hit horrendously hard in their own homeland...

however, the bullying and bragging lynch-mob of white middle-class america - already crumbling with baked-in corruption and self-delusion - cannot even contemplate such a devastating domestic eventuality for its amoral apple-pie-thieving society - because, in truth, the barbarian american burgerhood of bad-mouthed bluster conceitedly, and quite incorrectly, believes itself utterly impregnable in a simpering dollar-subservient world, which quakes interminably before the minging moronic might of unchallenged us imperialism.

you know, when i see how arsonist-americans are now so selfishly and pointlessly prepared to set fire to our brittle british civilization, and then, from a suitably safe distance, watch it burn, i quietly ask myself "what did we ever do to them?"

ultrapox said...

talking of pomposity and arrogance, mr mongoose, are there any more conceited on this planet than those who label themselves 'progressive'?

sadly, for the uk, never-ending neo-imperialist war and medically-approved genocide are now inevitable so long as starmer allows johnson to snort coke from his bare 'opposition' butt-crack.

ultrapox said...

given europe's impending annihilation in the name of unhinged american imperialism, one is actually tempted to say:

"special relationship: why fucking bother?"

mrs ishmael said...

Aye, right.

mongoose said...

I see that the Wallace idiot has now advised MBV not to test him. Alas, I reckon that a corner shop in Moscow has more tanks and planes than the UK. It will certainly have more troops.

It does look like the Rooskies are going to take the whole of the coast. And that will be that as far as a viable Ukraine goes. I thought it possible he'd have left them Odessa.

Mike said...

Mr mongoose: Odessa will definitely fall. Its a city that means a lot to Russians. Also, Putin has promised to bring before a war crimes tribunal those who burned to death Russians in Odessa in 2014.

Mike said...

PS latest map

https://dxczjjuegupb.cloudfront.net/wp-content/uploads/2022/03/Selection_187.jpg

The cauldron is complete around the bulk of the Ukie army in Donbass and Mariupol in the SE. The cauldron around Odessa is closing. A larger cauldron is forming from Kiev to Odessa.

The cauldron is a classic Russian tactic going back to Mongol times, used in the Napoleonic wars and WW2 in particular. It involves not just surrounding the enemy but cutting off all means of supply, communications and maneuver. Once the cauldron is closed then the heat is turned up until the enemy surrenders or is destroyed.

There has been some rash talk in the US about the US and NATO declaring a no-fly zone over Ukraine. First, they don't have the capability to do it. BUT, second, Putin said yesterday that if and country tries that "within a second" Russia will declare war. Dangerous times. Truss/Wallace should keep their traps shut.