Good
evening, and this is me, Jon the Liberator Sox, with the truly shocking news - sensitive viewers may
wish to turn away, now - that the overwhelming majority of people in
this country have not signed some e-petition or other. Seasoned
observers, like myself, are saying that this is the single biggest
betrayal since the EU Referendum and the Scottish Indy Ref before it,
that this failure to participate is something which actively undermines
the movement towards us all changing our gender, as we see fit, on the
National Health.
Yes,
that's right, here was an opportunity for the flashmourning community
to step up to the plate and mourn, solidify and form a community of
Global Citizens Against Democracy. Not since Je Suis Charlie, has there
been such an opportuniy for ill-informed, hysterical people to click a
button for a better world. Just think, here was an opportunity, like
none nefore, for ignorant people to parade smugly, saying Not In My
Name, or Not My President or Not My Referendum Result. Here was nothing
short of a golden opportunity for men to use ladies' toilets without
fear of censure.
Some might say a golden shower opportunity. And so what, we are mature enough in our persecution of the Norm to be able to rejoice, should we enter a public convenience and see people urinating on each other.
Some might say a golden shower opportunity. And so what, we are mature enough in our persecution of the Norm to be able to rejoice, should we enter a public convenience and see people urinating on each other.
And do you know what?
I'll tell you what, cos that's my trade, my purpose, my craft, telling you what. It's why I was put here, to tell you what.
And the what in this instance is that the overwhelming, massive, unambiguous majority of you have failed to join in the democratic attempt to uinseat a democratically-elected US president. And by extension to revoke the EU Referendum result and substitute one more agreeable to the minority.
And I'll you something else.
When it comes to a failed audience,
It doesn't get much worse than that.
I'll tell you what, cos that's my trade, my purpose, my craft, telling you what. It's why I was put here, to tell you what.
And the what in this instance is that the overwhelming, massive, unambiguous majority of you have failed to join in the democratic attempt to uinseat a democratically-elected US president. And by extension to revoke the EU Referendum result and substitute one more agreeable to the minority.
And I'll you something else.
When it comes to a failed audience,
It doesn't get much worse than that.
But
even so, we in MediaMinster can claim victory over the forces of
Reaction and Fascism.
There must now clearly be a re-run of both of the referenda and of the US election. Mustn't there? I mean. Clearly, there must be. I mean. Just do the math. A million chumps have clicked a button and this must surely overrule any dated notions about what the fascists call representative democracy. I mean. How can it be representative if one of the greatest political figures of our time- or any other - Mrs Meryl Streep, doesn't agree with it
There must now clearly be a re-run of both of the referenda and of the US election. Mustn't there? I mean. Clearly, there must be. I mean. Just do the math. A million chumps have clicked a button and this must surely overrule any dated notions about what the fascists call representative democracy. I mean. How can it be representative if one of the greatest political figures of our time- or any other - Mrs Meryl Streep, doesn't agree with it
Now, I love you all, all you little people, out there, watching me posing.
In awe of me, up here, collecting awards,
as well as million dollar paychecks.
And here's what I want you all to do.
Cos you love me, right?
We're joined now by People's Prime Minister, Tony Blair, for his opinion on the Rise of the Barbarian Horde, in America.
Well,
thanks, Jon,
or Lord Sox as you would have been if Gordon hadn't ousted me. And as a Christian, the first thing I should remind viewers of is simply Look, this is the time when Bill and Hillary Clinton should be uppermost in your thoughts and prayers,
or Lord Sox as you would have been if Gordon hadn't ousted me. And as a Christian, the first thing I should remind viewers of is simply Look, this is the time when Bill and Hillary Clinton should be uppermost in your thoughts and prayers,
as they are in mine.
Yes and Imelda's.
Yes and Imelda's.
No, no we are not divorcing.
Both catholics, y'see.
Both catholics, y'see.
No, we just live separately because that's where our work takes us. Yes, that's right, she has her property empire and a client roster of head-chopping despots and yes, I have mine.
I mean, Jon, it's only what we deserve.
I mean, Jon, it's only what we deserve.
But no, Bill'n'Hillary are very close personal friends, in fact it was them who gave us the idea of a charitable foundation for funnelling bribes into, yes, from dictators.
But very, very rich ones, mind.
Yes, thassright, rich with money stolen from their own citizens.
Yes, very much like the UK parliamatarians do every day of the week.
But on a more professional scale.
And that's what really matters.
So, yes the Presidents Clinton are very much in our thoughts.
Is that, Prime Minister, because they are dying?
Fuck me, Jon, no,
it's because they were robbed of a second eight years in the White House, after they'd spent all that money, well, alright, it wasn't their money but that's neither here nor there.
I mean, I simply say, if bent money wasn't running politics then we'd all be fucked, wouldn't we?
But no, Jon, they should be in our thoughts, or at least mine and David Miliband's, because if they'd won we'd have been minted, special adviserships, envoyships, ambassadorships, just any kind of -ship which would have meant buckets of money for us.
Money, Jon, it's like water to a thirsting man, you just can't get enough of it; well, I can't.
And nor, lemme tell you, can Lady Imelda.
it's because they were robbed of a second eight years in the White House, after they'd spent all that money, well, alright, it wasn't their money but that's neither here nor there.
I mean, I simply say, if bent money wasn't running politics then we'd all be fucked, wouldn't we?
But no, Jon, they should be in our thoughts, or at least mine and David Miliband's, because if they'd won we'd have been minted, special adviserships, envoyships, ambassadorships, just any kind of -ship which would have meant buckets of money for us.
Money, Jon, it's like water to a thirsting man, you just can't get enough of it; well, I can't.
And nor, lemme tell you, can Lady Imelda.
And Donald Trump, Prime Minister?
Well, I simply say that he is entirely mistaken, although as consigliere to much bigger criminals than him, I would be happy to serve his administration in any capacity, depending on the package, of course.
Wrong how?
Well, as I said in my Chicago Gospel, in 1999,
something now viewed, I should say, Jon,
as being as influential, even moreso, than the Sermon on the Mount, what I said in that epic, ground-breaking declaration of principle is that when it comes to Muslims, we simply have to kill them, and regime-change them into the one True Faith of Mammon,
and its founding principles, Slavery, Greed, Pornography, Usury, Tax Avoidance and Arms Sales. Y'know, Jon, it's what my entire Foundation's all about,
Killing Muslims and earning vast sums by doing it.
as being as influential, even moreso, than the Sermon on the Mount, what I said in that epic, ground-breaking declaration of principle is that when it comes to Muslims, we simply have to kill them, and regime-change them into the one True Faith of Mammon,
and its founding principles, Slavery, Greed, Pornography, Usury, Tax Avoidance and Arms Sales. Y'know, Jon, it's what my entire Foundation's all about,
Killing Muslims and earning vast sums by doing it.
I mean, I simply say to the peepul ov Brittun that excluding Muslims from America, even torturing them, as Jack Straw
The UK government is sending millions of our pounds trying to keep Jack Torture from facing charges over renditions and torture which allegedly approved
and David Miliband so memorably did for both President Dubya Chimp and President Trousers,
Don't you worry, Madam President Trousers, just you tell me who you want tortured and I'll see to it.
Oh David, you're such a good boy to Momma.
is simply not enough, we need to invade their countries, kill most of them, make the rest of them homeless, plunder their assets, rape their children and litter their landscape with depleted uranium.
Y'know Jon, banning a few ragheads from entry, I mean, there's no money in that.
And I think that so-called President Trump falls very far short of understanding - as do I and the Israeli govament of Benny the Bandit Netanyahu
and David Miliband so memorably did for both President Dubya Chimp and President Trousers,
Oh David, you're such a good boy to Momma.
is simply not enough, we need to invade their countries, kill most of them, make the rest of them homeless, plunder their assets, rape their children and litter their landscape with depleted uranium.
Y'know Jon, banning a few ragheads from entry, I mean, there's no money in that.
And I think that so-called President Trump falls very far short of understanding - as do I and the Israeli govament of Benny the Bandit Netanyahu
- that the only good Muslim is a dead Muslim,
who, preferably, has been tortured first
.
While you're here, your Grace, I wonder if you'd share with us your view of the state of your former party, now that its current leader has been elected by an unprecedented number of votes cast by ordinary party members.
Jon, I simply say, is that what you gotta do is anything in your power to prevent a party of the left being elected.
At all costs you gotta prevent a Labour govament which represents poor people.
It's what we're about,
betraying our voters.
Make 'em yearn, make 'em long, make 'em dream,
but you never give 'em anything.
.
While you're here, your Grace, I wonder if you'd share with us your view of the state of your former party, now that its current leader has been elected by an unprecedented number of votes cast by ordinary party members.
Jon, I simply say, is that what you gotta do is anything in your power to prevent a party of the left being elected.
At all costs you gotta prevent a Labour govament which represents poor people.
It's what we're about,
betraying our voters.
Make 'em yearn, make 'em long, make 'em dream,
but you never give 'em anything.
That was people's prime minister, Tony Blair;
why hasn't he been made an earl,
after all he's done for freedom,
why hasn't he been made an earl,
after all he's done for freedom,
but then why haven't I?
I am, after all, descended from David Lloyd George.
Yes, the whoremonger, that's him.
Yes, the whoremonger, that's him.
And we are moving now to our fellow resistance fighter, Emily Muscles, on our sister channel, the Paedophiles' Broadcasting Channel; no, no, we broadcasters are all in this fight together, yes, that's the one, the fight against representative democracy, yes, Brexit, yes, Trump.
They may both have been voted for but that's not what voting's for.
And our comrade, Emily, a feminist icon,
is interviewing prominent Labour feminist thinker, and potential party leader,
Jess Tits, MP for Birmingham Yardley.
And in this time of tumult, as womens voices are blah blah blah blah, in order to help us examine the situation we are joined by
Jess - all moi male constituents wanna rape me, no, no, really they do.
Oi sin 'em, down Broad Street of a weekend.
And decent birds, loike meself, loike, carn't even stagger-about pissed wiv me tits'n'arse 'anging-out wivout bein' whistled-at, which as a ma''er a fact, is summat to which Oi'm opposed, root'n'pissin'branch, loike-
Tits, Jess Tits, MP for Birmingham, Yardley.
But what do you think, as a Labour MP, about Trump's plans to revive American industry; he's met today with US trades union leaders and they are reportedly very impressed by his plans for massive infrastructure redevelopment programmes. He has, after all, captured the Democrat's heartland, rather as the Tribesmen, up North, have captured what used to be safe Labour territory. Are there any lessons which Jeremy Corbyn's Labour party might take from Trump's appeal to workers disrespected and long locked out of spiv prosperity?
Well, the first thing t'say about that load of old cock is that Jeremy Corbyn is not moi leader.
They may both have been voted for but that's not what voting's for.
And our comrade, Emily, a feminist icon,
Jess Tits, MP for Birmingham Yardley.
Good evening to viewers joining us from Channel Sox News.
Jess - all moi male constituents wanna rape me, no, no, really they do.
Oi sin 'em, down Broad Street of a weekend.
And decent birds, loike meself, loike, carn't even stagger-about pissed wiv me tits'n'arse 'anging-out wivout bein' whistled-at, which as a ma''er a fact, is summat to which Oi'm opposed, root'n'pissin'branch, loike-
Tits, Jess Tits, MP for Birmingham, Yardley.
I was in Birmingham's Broad Street and Centenary Square on Millennium Night and many other nights and I never witnessed one sex attack.
Jess Tits, good evening and welcome to Newsnight.
Are
you really Emmylou?
Well, Oi'd just loike t'say that Oi love your records, all on 'em, but specially them ones with Dolly Parton on.
I dunno whether to pinch meself 'r not, bein' on the telly with Emmylou 'Arris.
An' I wonder if you'd just sing us a request, 'tint fer me, it's fer me Mum, she loves you an' all, loike.
Could you do that one, Boulder to Berming-gum, cos, loike, I'm the MP fer Berming-gum, well, one on 'em loike, there's a few on us. I know the song int about this Berming-gum, here, in England, moi Berming-gum, what I 'ave the honour of representing on Have Oi Got News For You - well, it's grand a time, intit, Oi'd be mad not to - but one in Alabama - is it? - but even so, it'd mean a lot to me an' me Mum. I dunt see 'er as much as Oi'd loike too, loike, but what with me career tekkin' off, being down in the Smoke an' on the telly quite a lot, well, you'll understand, yer old parents 'ave to take second place, when it comes to wossaname, yes, social mobility, I mean, Oi didden get where Oi am today boi wurryin' about other people now, did Oi, no pissin' sense in that, is there?
Well, Oi'd just loike t'say that Oi love your records, all on 'em, but specially them ones with Dolly Parton on.
I dunno whether to pinch meself 'r not, bein' on the telly with Emmylou 'Arris.
An' I wonder if you'd just sing us a request, 'tint fer me, it's fer me Mum, she loves you an' all, loike.
Could you do that one, Boulder to Berming-gum, cos, loike, I'm the MP fer Berming-gum, well, one on 'em loike, there's a few on us. I know the song int about this Berming-gum, here, in England, moi Berming-gum, what I 'ave the honour of representing on Have Oi Got News For You - well, it's grand a time, intit, Oi'd be mad not to - but one in Alabama - is it? - but even so, it'd mean a lot to me an' me Mum. I dunt see 'er as much as Oi'd loike too, loike, but what with me career tekkin' off, being down in the Smoke an' on the telly quite a lot, well, you'll understand, yer old parents 'ave to take second place, when it comes to wossaname, yes, social mobility, I mean, Oi didden get where Oi am today boi wurryin' about other people now, did Oi, no pissin' sense in that, is there?
An'
anyroad up, she's only me Mum, 'snot as though we'm flesh an' blood or
anythin', so you can't expect me t'look after 'er.
I mean, that's a job for the taxpayer, int it?
So, willya sing us a song, or wot?
Well, actually,
I mean, that's a job for the taxpayer, int it?
So, willya sing us a song, or wot?
Well, actually,
I'm not the country singer, EmmyLou 'Arris,
I mean Harris.
I mean Harris.
I'm EmmyLou Maitliss.
I mean Emily Maitliss.
Wotchasay?
You int Emmylou 'Arris?
Emily Maitliss?
You int Emmylou 'Arris?
Emily Maitliss?
And who the bleedin' 'ell's Emily pissin' Maitliss,
when hers at home?
A
pissin' journalist? Well, Oi'll go to the foot of ower stairs, I will.
Me thinkin' Oi was gonna meet Emmylou 'Arris, an 'ere Oi am sittin' wiv a
bleedin' stick insect,
wot looks like
her's escaped from a bleedin' bondage parlour.
her's escaped from a bleedin' bondage parlour.
But what do you think, as a Labour MP, about Trump's plans to revive American industry; he's met today with US trades union leaders and they are reportedly very impressed by his plans for massive infrastructure redevelopment programmes. He has, after all, captured the Democrat's heartland, rather as the Tribesmen, up North, have captured what used to be safe Labour territory. Are there any lessons which Jeremy Corbyn's Labour party might take from Trump's appeal to workers disrespected and long locked out of spiv prosperity?
Oi mean, just because the members voted for him overwhelmingly, and done it twoice, that dun't mean nothin.
That's just an old-fashioned view of democracy, that is.
Oi didn't come into politics to represent other people, people wot I dun't agree wiv, did I?
No pissin' sense in that.
May as well stand in the middle a the bleedin' 'orseroad and rant like a soddin' nutter as do that representative democracy shite.
No, luv, that ain't the way t'get stuff done. You just gotta develop a media profile, is that the word, profile, and then wait for the offers to come rollin' in.
I mean, that George Osborne, he's gettin paid six hundred grand - yeah, a bleedin' year - by some bleedin' banker, an' still sittin' in the 'ouse a commons pretendin' he's a pissin' MP. If it's good enough fer 'im, loike, I'm damn sure it's good enough fer me an' all.
In contemptuous denial of parliamentary rules, Austerity Chancellor and Bankers' Bukkake Boy,
George Osborne, is expected to make a million pouds a year from his post-sacking City bung.
That's just an old-fashioned view of democracy, that is.
Oi didn't come into politics to represent other people, people wot I dun't agree wiv, did I?
No pissin' sense in that.
May as well stand in the middle a the bleedin' 'orseroad and rant like a soddin' nutter as do that representative democracy shite.
No, luv, that ain't the way t'get stuff done. You just gotta develop a media profile, is that the word, profile, and then wait for the offers to come rollin' in.
I mean, that George Osborne, he's gettin paid six hundred grand - yeah, a bleedin' year - by some bleedin' banker, an' still sittin' in the 'ouse a commons pretendin' he's a pissin' MP. If it's good enough fer 'im, loike, I'm damn sure it's good enough fer me an' all.
In contemptuous denial of parliamentary rules, Austerity Chancellor and Bankers' Bukkake Boy,
George Osborne, is expected to make a million pouds a year from his post-sacking City bung.
Well, we've established, Jess Tits, that you're just a mouthy cow, in it for yourself.
A sort of back-street Annie Soubrey.
Any thoughts on the industrial matters I mentioned earlier, Trump's plans?
Well woduz'eknow, he's a bleedin businessman.
What you need to sort them things is a very able politican, someone who's spent his life smoking dope, talkin' bleedin' nonsense and then can't believe his soddin' luck when Tony Blair makes him Seckaterry of state for factories, or woddever.
No, it was NewLabour, in the form of Steven Byers,
'oo 'ad the right industrial strategy, cuz, loike, y'know, he smoked an awful lotta dope in his toime, and it give 'im, insight, yeah, insight, into selling them factories off to the bleedin' Jerries for a tenner a time, loike what they did wiv the Ostin. That Jeremy Clarkson, he's roight, y'know, it were all the faulta the unions, what happened in the motor industry. An' so them got to be punished, 'sonly right, intit?
I mean who'd want all them pissin' jobs back at the Leyland and Lucases and Triumph and unlop and Smiths Instruments an' all them lot, trainin' apprentices an' employin' skilled blokes, loike, an' on good money; they 'ad jobs as fitters an' toolmakers, stuff loike that.
That ain't the koinda Labour party I signed up to, I mean, who'd wanna do them kinda jobs, when they can work in McDonalds. Yeah, an' in call centres.
If that bloke Trump thinks that people want so-called proper jobs, not to mention so-called proper wages, when, under my lot, they can do shit jobs, on zero hours contracts, for way less than the livin' wage, and 'ave all the benfits a bein' in the Common Wossaname, Market is it, well all as I can say is that he's talkin' out of his bleedin' arse loike, and his arse is out the pissin' window.
A sort of back-street Annie Soubrey.
Any thoughts on the industrial matters I mentioned earlier, Trump's plans?
Well woduz'eknow, he's a bleedin businessman.
What you need to sort them things is a very able politican, someone who's spent his life smoking dope, talkin' bleedin' nonsense and then can't believe his soddin' luck when Tony Blair makes him Seckaterry of state for factories, or woddever.
No, it was NewLabour, in the form of Steven Byers,
'oo 'ad the right industrial strategy, cuz, loike, y'know, he smoked an awful lotta dope in his toime, and it give 'im, insight, yeah, insight, into selling them factories off to the bleedin' Jerries for a tenner a time, loike what they did wiv the Ostin. That Jeremy Clarkson, he's roight, y'know, it were all the faulta the unions, what happened in the motor industry. An' so them got to be punished, 'sonly right, intit?
I mean who'd want all them pissin' jobs back at the Leyland and Lucases and Triumph and unlop and Smiths Instruments an' all them lot, trainin' apprentices an' employin' skilled blokes, loike, an' on good money; they 'ad jobs as fitters an' toolmakers, stuff loike that.
That ain't the koinda Labour party I signed up to, I mean, who'd wanna do them kinda jobs, when they can work in McDonalds. Yeah, an' in call centres.
If that bloke Trump thinks that people want so-called proper jobs, not to mention so-called proper wages, when, under my lot, they can do shit jobs, on zero hours contracts, for way less than the livin' wage, and 'ave all the benfits a bein' in the Common Wossaname, Market is it, well all as I can say is that he's talkin' out of his bleedin' arse loike, and his arse is out the pissin' window.
An'
I tellyawot, Emily whoever ya pissin' are, if 'e comes up Brummagem when
I'm around, Trumpy, he'll get a roight good bleedin' bollocking.
Well, thanks for that, Emily, and if I'm not very much mistaken I think we have just seen a future leader of the Labour party, staking her claim
So, to summarise, for those of you have just joined me, there it is, the Brits, who have seen their manufacturing and skills base trashed by venal and incompetent politicians of every stripe, quite rightly rage at a US President trying, he says, to restore his own country's industry.
A nation which has waged illegal wars
and committed atrocities all over the world
Tommy interrogating Ahmed
very properly damns a man who would make peace with Russia.
NewLabour enthusiastically collaborated in kidnap and torture and yet hysterical numpties take to the streets over a man who talks of it but says he will let his commanders - who are opposed to it - decide on its use. I mean, what more could we ask for, here in the post-democratic world. Just do the math for yourself, the numbers just don't add up, well, not as they should, anyway
IRA beast, Martin McGuinness
bombed British cities, tortured, maimed and killed tens of thousands of our fellow citizens and yet none marched in protest at his invitation to Buckingham Palace.
And you can't say fairer than that, can you?
Nor at their invitations, no petitions against them,
repulsive women stoners, floggers and rapists.
this,
this
is what you call
disrespecting women,
its perpetrators welcome at Queen Brenda's table, as Trump, apparently, should not be.
No-one marches at the greedy impertinence of Junky George Osborne - the man who blamed the disabled for the bankers' criminality - and his paymasters, shitting in our faces; Trump, though, who made a cruel and uncouth joke about a disabled journalist, well, his planned visit brings thousands to the streets and attaches their virtuous thumbs to an e-petition.
This then, is the New, Compassionate, Caring Britain, its citizens heedless of real male chauvinism, real horror, real racism, real crime, vocalising, instead, about imagined slight, trivia, around which they can get their tiny minds, whilst Ruin mocks their pitiable, infantile simplicity.
And I'll tell you what, all you have to do, in order to be part of this great exercise in caring community values is, when something is voted for by a majority and you don't like it, just take to the streets and shout at people, call them names, until they change their minds.
Yes, that's right, exactly like the Nazis did.
Well, thanks for that, Emily, and if I'm not very much mistaken I think we have just seen a future leader of the Labour party, staking her claim
So, to summarise, for those of you have just joined me, there it is, the Brits, who have seen their manufacturing and skills base trashed by venal and incompetent politicians of every stripe, quite rightly rage at a US President trying, he says, to restore his own country's industry.
A nation which has waged illegal wars
and committed atrocities all over the world
Tommy interrogating Ahmed
very properly damns a man who would make peace with Russia.
NewLabour enthusiastically collaborated in kidnap and torture and yet hysterical numpties take to the streets over a man who talks of it but says he will let his commanders - who are opposed to it - decide on its use. I mean, what more could we ask for, here in the post-democratic world. Just do the math for yourself, the numbers just don't add up, well, not as they should, anyway
IRA beast, Martin McGuinness
And you can't say fairer than that, can you?
Nor at their invitations, no petitions against them,
repulsive women stoners, floggers and rapists.
its perpetrators welcome at Queen Brenda's table, as Trump, apparently, should not be.
No-one marches at the greedy impertinence of Junky George Osborne - the man who blamed the disabled for the bankers' criminality - and his paymasters, shitting in our faces; Trump, though, who made a cruel and uncouth joke about a disabled journalist, well, his planned visit brings thousands to the streets and attaches their virtuous thumbs to an e-petition.
This then, is the New, Compassionate, Caring Britain, its citizens heedless of real male chauvinism, real horror, real racism, real crime, vocalising, instead, about imagined slight, trivia, around which they can get their tiny minds, whilst Ruin mocks their pitiable, infantile simplicity.
And I'll tell you what, all you have to do, in order to be part of this great exercise in caring community values is, when something is voted for by a majority and you don't like it, just take to the streets and shout at people, call them names, until they change their minds.
Yes, that's right, exactly like the Nazis did.
26 comments:
As you eloquently put it, Mr I, in colloquial Brummie, the hypocrisy is off the scale.
Meanwhile Trump marches on, and I can't fault anything he's done so far - he even called out the Hermanns today for special mention in fucking up the euro as the faux Deutschmark.
Meanwhile, as Trump is racing onward, from afar, I point out that the referendum was in June last year and so far all there is to show for it is a two line bill which will be debated and amended until it has no meaning. The UK has all the sense of direction as a cork floating in the North Sea. The only hope is that Trump uses the UK for his proxy war against the EU.
As usual, a comprehensive resume which proves again that sadly the scum always rises to the top, no matter which continent one looks at.
So today in PMQ’s May has to reassure EU nationals? Reassure against what?
This is a BBC line that I’m sure is repeated across the medja. Just a line across the bottom of the screen..so what’s the question then?
Is an EU national…whatever the fuck that is..near you being threatened?
Just once…in my lifetime either Trump or May would just ask the question of their interogators…What’s your fucking whining point, you fucking whining nonce.? scuse the french
A tonic to read, and much appreciated.
I just heard the BBC playing snips from Ken Clarke's speech. They are raving over it. But if he's such a great fellow, how come the BBC had a massive party the night that He and John Major were booted out of Downing Street? Now it's all how Ken was single handedly responsible for the Maastricht (?) treaty, marvellous statesman, masterclass in speaking (no he is not, I'm not completely deaf).
I've just saved a picture of the pickled old bullfrog and filed it next to the one of Bob Geldorf yelling at the fishermen.
Lovely piece.
I see that the beautiful, bruised mind of the ex POTUS is being soothed by Sir Dickie Branson, on his island of tranquility and wisdom. Like Arthur on Avalon, or is that stretching it a bit? Possibly.
It is the same across the piece, mr mike, glacial, all of govament, the courts, the NHS, planning apps, incomprehensible delay attends everything, makework for lazy, greedybastard consultants, lawyers and civil servants. Speakers, serjeants at arms, clerks, black fucking rods; the lords, the fucking bishops, those spiteful, long winded select committees. Night of the Long Knives, that's the thing.
Except that it is a novel form of scum which has floated to the top, Stateside, m alphons, and threatens to spill over in Europe; Consumerism's creatures, the EuroRednecks
Yes, I saw that, mr doug and it's as though the Remainers want mass ejections and deportations of EUbods, to shore up their case against the rest of us. Seems blindingly simple to me, either there is reciprocity or there isn't, and if there isn't then Magda Make Better Life and the whining, pisshead pensioners and career criminals on the Costa del Sol will all have to fuck off back home, tough shit.
Nothing he ever touched has recovered from Clarke's shitbrain I Know Bestism - Health, Home Office, Education and the Exchequer, he fucked everything up, big-time, as well as selling cigarettes to third world children when he was on shore leave. I don't know if it's true but he is said to hold a forest of injunctions in relation to Dolphin Square, mrs woar. It was a maxim of my youth that one should never trust a man in suede shoes, like Kenny. As for great oratory, he always sounds to me like Larry Grayson playing Widow Twanky. I think he's a big unpleasant queen, hiding in plain sight, Jazzman Kenny. I wish someone'd spill the beans.
The unfortunate truth about European migration is that it is just that. There is fuck all that can be done to quell the flow of migrants around the Mediterranean, and it has pretty much always been so. The open borders thereafter between Greece and Calais mean that control, quotas and all such is just pissing in the wind. I do think though that we need to look the Devil in the face. A face-down five-year-old drowned on a beach is an affront to us all - or should be - but a stubbly chinned six-foot fucker claiming his uncheckable familial human rights at Dover is just bollocks.
In passing, I see that Nicola's latest wheeze is the hard and soft rUK-Scotland border. This is even ore daft than her last idea. Trust me, Nicola, there isn't going ever to be a hard border between England and Scotland. The transparency of the wheeze would make even Ken Clarke blush.
I do think though that tomorrow could see an almighty chorus of shouting and back-pedalling. The White Paper is the chance to pick some threads from the democratic, Will-of-the-People Brexit cloth. "Ah, but..." The Labour party might die tomorrow.
"Will of the people", mongoose? There is no such thing. It is yet another "political correct" lie designed to placate we plebs.
E.U/UK Treaty. We won`t bung tariffs on your goods and services if you don`t bung tariffs on ours. Any EU citizen resident/working in the UK on June 23 2016 can stay providing there is reciprocity to British subjects resident/working in the EU June 23 2016. Give Dublin a ring and say open border then mate ? so it is. Job done, down the pub.
Looks like the Anyone But Le Pen stitch-up in France is going haywire too.
No argument there, and actually I don't care, mr mongoose, about the face-down child in the tide, well, no more than I care about all the dirty-water children, the starving children, the Shock and Awe children, not to mention the dogs and the donkeys and the cancer patients and the wounded heroic soldiers and the whole fucking grisly tsunami of strife about which, from moment to changing moment, I am exhorted to care, by some worthless cunt like Dan Snow or Ewan fucking McGregor telling me Go on, you know you should. Oxfam has been going all my life, and it seems there are more starving people every year, and more nose-bone wearing savage witch doctor bastards riding around in aid-funded Mercedeses, stashing million in banks owned by rotten, corrupt Swiss cocksuckers. Amnesty has been going for half of my life and ever more are tortured, Barnardos, the churches, these places are the spiritual home of child sexual abuse. Fuck 'em, fuck the do-gooders, they generally do bad.
No, fuck all those fit, healthy refugees, let them fight and improve their own countries, rather than demand homes and services which I have paid for all my life and continue to pay for.
The unfortunate European truth is that the brutish, ghastly Merkel, happy to impoverish the Greeks and the marching, half-witted anti-Trumpers, if allowed, will destroy such imperfect civilisation as we have forged and do so in the name of civilisation.
Borders, that's the thing, good fences make good neighbours and in these times we should export not arms and war and torture but good governance and human rights, even if we do it at gunpoint. We should make a start by confiscation the assets
of the House of Saud and establishing safe zones in the Middle East and North Africa
and never mind inviting the horrid fuckpigs to Buck House and Ascot.
Yes mr yardarm, job done. One would think that a party claiming to be business orientated would do these things in a heartbeat. do fucking deals. I don't give a fuck about Dublin, whatever happens to them, in the ;ast century they have been Quislings,. have exported massive terroriam to the UK and have distinguished themselves by being Euro-spongers, doing as they're told, as long as their elites get bunged. Fuck a United Ireland, what they should fight for is an independent workers' republic. It's just been, North or South, one crook after another in Ireland; Mrs Askey should just tell them what's gonna happen.
"Thousands of homeless, destitute people - people in real need - NOW - have no coloured socks tonight. For just £3 you can supply a needy person with fine, coloured hosiery. Just text SOX to CHANNEL4SOX." It is all part of showbiz that the squillionaire luvvie feels able to lecture me and succeed in the blackmail of frailer souls with a petty fraction of his wealth in their arseless trousers. One of the cunts (mentioned hereabove) is too timid even to face gobby Piers.
But that is that. There was a selection of ripe swine on QT tonight - "should parents be fined for taking their kids out of school (to go on holiday)?" Not a one of them piped up with "Cheeky fuckers! Such is a gotesque abuse of power - a usurpation of parenthood and the thin end of an authoritarian wedge that makes me want to vomit over the Clan Dimblebey." No. Apparently we owe by school attendance some debt of comradeship to other kids. As if standing a kid on a hill or by a lake isn't education a thousandfold as valuable as cos-2-fucking-theta-equals. And indeed I used to know what it did equal and so, I guess, it is easy for me to say. What even is gained by fining middle class dad for taking Tarquin to Gstaad? APart from a bit of spite? What we need is the kids of the cleaner out at five cleaning office shitters being got out of its pit and helped and educated to its potential. Fining fucking parents? Do me a favour. The notion is vile and, if that is not enough, so obviously counterproductive.
The duties imposed and the expectations of the State have spread too far, mr ishmael. If Johnny Depp can spend a grand every night on vino, why can't we all? (Although I have not - to his credit - yet detected Depp lecturing me about anything. Perhaps he is too pissed.) But there's inequality for you, my loves. Fix that first, eh? I am sure that a grand a day would run a couple of libraries.
Forgive me my absence these last few posts, Mr. I; I seem to have reached some sort of impasse where the activities of the fuckwits repel me more and more, even to the point where I can't find any humour no matter how hard I look. However, your latest opus seems to have lifted me out of the doldrums. Perhaps it was the inane grin on that vacuous piece of slug-shit, Blair; that collection of misdirected single-celled organisms is certainly long overdue a corrective experience, that's for sure.
The Memsahib was startled a week or so ago when I mentioned in passing that people like Blair should fall daily upon their knees in praise of her continued good health. When pressed for further and better particulars I mumbled something about reverting to type and attempting a fleeting balancing of the scales of justice in the absence of any restraining influences. There's no foll like an old fool ...
Sound observations Mr I - notwithstanding that, according to external media perspectives, we may be incarcerated in a 'fake news echo chamber'. Be that as it may. In the meantime, I see that there have been some local difficulties in the outer Empire, between a certain Mr Trump, self styled President of what is clearly a renegade province, and Councillor Turnbull, leader of the antipodean borough council. Clearly the services of a diplomat of great experience and exceptional skill are required to resolve this tense situation. Perhaps Mr Mike could assist here if the aforementioned attache has not already been recalled to duty?
http://www.famemagazine.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2009/01/les-patterson.jpg
Mr SG: I can't think of a more appropriate person than Sir Les. You may think this is a caricature - I assure you its not. That's why Australia is safe - the 'lucky country'.
However, I think even Sir Les would be blushing at some of what is being said in Canberra right now.
Yes, I was going to ask, mr mike and mr sg, how the Cobbers took to being out-brashed by Donny McTrump but lol out loud instead. No doubt Mrs Askey'll be down there, soon enough, offering to trade our missiles and torture equipment for your sheep droppings.
I know, king caratacus, I know; hard to see the light, sometimes.
The funny thing is, Mr I, they need us more than we need the septics.
We, and the Kiwis, are their eyes and ears on China and SE Asia.
The majority of our trade now is with SE Asia, I believe. As I have said before, if it come to a shooting war with China we could easily change sides as quickly as you change your socks.
Mr Turnbull, or Trunbull as they refer to him in Washington, is a typical Aussie - remember he represented Peter Wright against HMG, and won. He's not a shrinking violet. 99.9% of Aussies will not have registered this.
Mr SG: our cultural ambassador on form:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HLK1rt3v5cI
Oh, yes, I remember buying Spycatcher the day it was legally released, was that him, then? It was a spectacular victory. No shrinking violet, as you say.
One hopes that all is well at "chez ish" !
.....and if not best wishes for rapid recuperation.
Seconded mate.
Sincerely hope all is well....
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