Monday 25 January 2016


I like children as much as the next man, which is to say not very much.  I used to like them, when I was younger, now they irritate me, either attention deficient sugar monsters or ghastly, hot-housed four-year olds whining about their future careers, aping the parents who narcissistically robbed their kids of another, different personality, just to hear their own considered, balanced  and informed voices wittering back at them, waving away, LuvUlots, LuvUmore,  from Incest's dark carousel. LuvEm2BitsMe, my kids, DoEnnyfin4Em.

Doesn't matter, I would still run into a burning building or forfeit a seat in the lifeboat because that's the way of it, women and children first,  that must be the way of it, Nature's plan for herself making  self-sacrificing moralists of us. Well, I would do those things although I don't suppose the Queen would, or the prime minister or the generals or the prelates or the financiers, all of whom are worth more to us than any mumber of citizen-suspects of whatever age.

These three thousand parentless, refugee children, what are we to make of their plight?  We must assume that they are being fed, clothed, warmed and doctored wherever they are now as well as they might be in the UK, we must also asume that they are not in a war zone;  what is the need, therefore, for their resettlement here? Is it the case that such children must be shared-out, equally, between member states of the EU, in order to underscore the fraternity of the Project,  and if so, why, considering that another journey, into another country and another language and another school and another set of make-believe parents can only unsettle and damage them further?

 I am mystified as to how so many have arrived unaccompanied, have all the parents been drowned in the Med or killed by Basher Assad?  Are they three thousand individual kids or parentless families.? If they are single children, temporarily separated from their parents, then better to leave them where they are, where they might the quicker become reunited.  Bringing them here will  make that harder and cause distress.  Furthermore, if they are to be resettled here in temporary sanctuaries, what will happen if parents reappear with siblings and extended, multi-generational families and in-laws, which could number in total tens of thousands?

Junky George Osborne's national family credit card is already over-extended,  he says, closing the libraries of the poor and burning the wheelchairs of the crippled; social services are unable to provide care for vulnerable people already here. This isn't quite wartime, as it was when the KinderTransports arrived, the nation's properties already requisitioned and the people  properly attuned to shortage and sacrifice in order that Frau Merkel's ancestors be defeated and cast into Hell.  Not that they were, mind.  If our heartstrings ensnare thousands of children and potentially subsequent tens of thousands of mums'n'dads'n'aunts'n'uncles'n'grannies'n'grandads all demanding residence under EU law then we need to know in advance that any government so reacting will provide the necessary new  resources to accommodate and integrate such numbers, and not merely pass the burden on to useless, corrupt and  cowardly local politicians, spouting Tough Times, Tough Choices horseshit, turning me into my own binman, social worker and firefighter.

The NSPCC and Barnardos, they're good for fuck all, maybe we could requisition their resources, pack 'em full of foreign Children in Need.  See how charitable they really are.


yardarm said...

You can be sure that it will be us Joe Cunts that will pay for Pansy Face`s and Top Hat Boy`s PR shit. Last year on his kneepad Quisling tour of China Pansy Face rocks up at some Chinese football club and hands them three million of our money: as charity, fuck knows why, the locals would be bemused, wondering who the effete pallid foreign devil was. Will any of these refugees be housed in a snob ghetto like Chipping Norton ? As if.

Dick the Prick said...

Dear Mr Smith

I should fucking coco. I apologise for both my lack of bloggering and my drunkeness when doing so but I am an aspirational alcoholic, in a shite civil service job and my eldest niece - all of 11, decided to drop dead of a brain aneurism on New Year's Cunt.

The prospect of leaving her alone never crossed all of our minds - just for audit findings and recommendation - 15 of us would have destroyed cathedrals to protect her, look after her, forego whatever the chuff was needed to ensure her fucking life - not transport, or warmth, nutrition or education - much broader than that, much more base.

I am shifting, nay - I have shifted - into an area where immigration is fine, immigration does concede morality but if we are to section them to a ghetto of incompetent government with social workers prevented from their duty then maybe it's just playing with terror's time and we should be thankful that it's done, terminated, ended. Her trip down palliative's care lasted about an hour, max. I don't have kids - not philosophical just never met the right bird at the right moment - but I do / did have 2 nieces that are / were just boxed off, nothing doing - my elder brother's kids and we just giggled. That's all we'd have ever done. It is / would have been my job to prevent the shite that we're all aware of here getting anywhere near them except if they asked or when they were confused. The only reason for chucking a little girl out on her own does exist and, if true, does require our full blown authority.

However, we know this not to be the case. These kids have 'reached' Calais and much as i'm the first guy to wrail on France; I have little problem when sober, when the chips are down, in the cold light of day - it's simply for kicks. My mother brought my pikey brother and me up in true austerity yet children are fine on beans 'n' chips, huddled together, traumatized by Barry Manalow - the evil cuntdoer, the malevolent devil's spawn. I am just Uncle, yet to watch my brother and his wife cope has been a model in fucking dignity. Bob and I have fallen out because he doesn't see his mum enough - but by that cunty God that doesn't exist and shall never infect my life agai - he has been strong. As has she, as has the niblet. Leave the girls? Yeah, yeah ok, bit of packed lunch, change of socks? Yep - may be a few minutes turning into 'are you frikking out of your fucking mind?'

Her grandad (mothers side) has early Parky's and mobility shit but the boy's still sharp and it gets me out of the Teacher politics shite that my mum, her mum and her all gig(ged) for a living. Me and him proper basal chatted through grief - he's got 5 grandkids, 2 of which are a bit fucked, but he cried his eyes out at the funeral and I was direct behind him otherwise nobody would have known. Silence is often more powerful than shouting your fucking head off. Such quiet yet social grief.

Leave the kid? Yeah, yeah alright. I have legs I don't need that can help stuff. Leave the kid? Yeah, yeah alright? How does that work - what's the admin of that? Go for a wander and leg it - prep the little tyke and stuff an address in its back pocket - what's the admin? It's oe thing going to Grannys and Grandads or Uncle or Aunty, Brother or Sister or even damn good chums but 'off you fuck - everyman for himself?' - nah, ain't buying it. France may be a toilet but it ain't fucked yet. They do Croque Monsieurs which are the finest sandwich known to humanity.

Dick the Prick said...

I'm moving on immigration policy, though. They - or rather we (I should take some guilt for this fuck up) are closing down A&E depts all over (Boundary Review pending what what) and kids are gonna die so I kinda think - hang on a fucking twat, who authrorised these cunts to do this? Boxing kids off - ah, maybe a scam - better than outright cuntishness. This Tory government is now merely a vehicle so George Osborne doesn't fuck up - nah, not having it. It's not even mediocre. I've never much minded that wealth acts as a bit of a passport to office that people shouldn't possess but what has happened with these snotty, coked-up fags is that they're using their power against the pastures which they should be tending. It's not Corbyn vulgar - there ain't no crisis of conscience here but it is fucking almost banal - refusing grants for working class kids because..because..because.... Haven't got the time, dude. Wankers. I bagged an economics degree and have done 10 years inside the Tory Party, I know the fucking arguments - there are none, the guy's a well protected and ignorant cunt - bad advice, probably received with coke on the rent boy's bellend.

Anyway, soz about that - bit ranty. Sophie was the bendy one, she was gonna have a look under my sink next time she came round whether she liked it or not and I was gonna giggle and think about how to make it look like chips are healthy. Leave the kid? Yeah, yep, right on that fucking mission - never, never in a fucking gazillion years of religious construct - total and utter shite. She donated to 5 kids. Ah, whaddya gonna do? Drink is what and mock the Chinks and Bowie.

Printed out your Bowies things and totally agree about O'Sullivan. Think Paul Newman did a film called 'The Natural'. I play a lot of pool and everyone can play like that between the 14th and 16th sip of delicious ale combined with good company and a little bit of jingle jangle in their pocket - to do a 147 in 5.15 minutes or something? Well - kinda impressive! Love to fam dude xx


Alphons said...

It all goes to reinforce the utter uselessness of our "leaders", with every thing under the sun, with the exception of their own self gratification at the expense of others.

call me ishmael said...

I wondered where you were, mr dick, and I am sorry for your family's loss. In the midst of life we are in death, the Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away. The words we frame and recite become scripture because they work for all but the kin, to whom they are cold, formal comfort, almost punishment. Find some poetry for yourself, it is in there, somewhere, angry and hurt, wanting out.

I was thinking about Paul Newman, his whole career was in playing naturals, natural hustlers, natural jailbreakers, natural cowboy angels, natural conmen. I wonder if Ronnie O watches Cool Hand Luke.

Mike said...

Down here the Abbo's used to kill the youngest kids when times were hard by pouring sand in their mouths, so that the group could survive on what was available to eat and drink. They may still do that, I don't know.

The Abbo's are hailed as the most-in-touch people with mother nature, so it must be the right thing to do.

call me ishmael said...

Morning, and maybe it was, mr mike, the only thing to do. We sacrificed each other, not far from where I sit, believing it propitious. And it is still the case, I understand, that many in India and what we used to call Indo-China breed-as-pension, regardless of sustainability, who can blame them? By the enlightened collective, only by the enlightened collective do we move beyond such things and into the civilisation for which we now fear, you and I and others here.

call me ishmael said...

I liked, m alphons, the pigfucker's decision to cancel the inquiry into TommyMurders in Iraq, just because.... well, just because.

mongoose said...

Women and children first, of course, meant women and children first, and four stout seamen to row, and an officer to steer the lifeboat. Which is effectively a cold-hearted but wise, and soul-wearying, decision to probably drown five other women and children so that the first few might have a better chance of survival. Five more young abbos with lungs full of sand. For the greater good, don't you know. Statistically speaking. In the long run, that is. As we have no cabin boys to sacrifice today. Or libraries left to close down.

And so we find that Greece is to have the Macedonian border sealed - wuth "300,000" poor bastards the wrong side of Cadbury's having a new creme egg out - did you see? And Stavros is an invisible already-heard-that cunt, and a penniless one too. And Kent too currently has the best part of 1,500 "unaccompanied" refugee kids to look after. Clever little bastards to drag their unaccompanied little arses across the continent in winter unaccompanied, and arrange to be counted like that without any company to help. Does moss grow on the north side of an unaccompanied kid do you think? Perhaps it's genetic. At least that'll help to recharge the gene pool and help with their map-reader's badge at Cubs.

They are almost exactly kinder-transport kids though, aren't they, Mr Ishmael? You know, like when was it? Just become so at journey's end rather than beginning. Isn't this what we do, we good post-Christian folk? Shouldn't Geldhof and Elton be getting a brace each to look after? As long as they are pretty. To the greater glory of? But Greece isn't Gravesend, mongoose, you twat. Of course not. How silly of me to become confused once again.

And I am sorry, Mr DtP, to hear of your trouble. And you are completely correct about the grants business. Cowardice, studpidity and bollocks is what that was.

call me ishmael said...

Here's the long and the short of it, mr mongoose. If, magically, we could right all the wrongs of that region, end the tribal and sectarian hostilities, make Basher into a good guy, disappear the headchoppers in a puff of smoke, make the Israelis and Palestinians live as one, make the desert bloom and disarm the whole region these people would continue to barge their way into these lands simply because this is where they want to be; they will come in their millions from all points South of the Aegean and East of the Rhine, today the Middle East and North Africa, tomorrow Ebola Africa,next day from the rubbish tips along the Ganges; war and flight have made irresistible what should have been met with a No, Thank You, Go Home. Or else I will shoot you.

There was a film on about the Jihadis Next Door. Now, you know how liberal I am but I would've thrown these young men in jail, on the spot, for what they were preaching, for what they were laughing at - and they were British. That crowd, trying to storm the ferry, I'd throw them in jail, too, Emergency Powers Act,l'd round them up in France, ship 'em to the Isle of Wight jails and set them to sewing mailbags for a couple of years and then deport them. Either that or equip them to go and storm the Caliphate.

This current idea, Solution a le Grec, is bollocks, Greece'll be swamped and EuroPol or NATO will have to march in and then there'll be shit and blood and guts everywhere

call me ishmael said...

The only solution is to close and reinforce all the land borders and set the UN to patrolling the Med, boarding all vessels, returning all on board to the port of departure and sinking the boats, a week or two of that will stop it. The UN should also establish temporary housing and health services in the ports of origin, and quite simply act with all necessary military force against any fucker who doesn't do what he's told, eradicating, if necessary, him and all his cousins and uncles. Thereafter, all these fit young men can be given shovels and pick-axes and cement mixers to help build the land they want, with the services they want. They can't have mine.

Where, by the way, is Nigel Poundland in all this, his four million voters surely want a say?

Mike said...

We stopped the boats, but Mr Abbott got shafted for that, and having big ears.

I can't say its fact, but an ex navy bloke told me that he reported a bump in the night; the captain said 'what bump, I didn't feel anything'.

call me ishmael said...

I thought that your Navy actually shot at boats for a while, or close to them. Is that not true?

But anyway, if it was the UN doing it, in somebody's ships - everybody's got warships up to that job - just flagged-up as UN, nobody but the Caliphate could complain, and fuck them, six ways to Christmas. Send them back and let the UN care for them. That's what the UN's for. We can't resettle millions and millions of people in North West Europe, we can't look after our own elderly, young and sick, we can neither house people nor educate them. This is Apocalypse stuff.

Right, it's now six, I'll try sleep again.

Mike said...

Well we did shoot at a few boats, but only to rescue people and to save the boats. It was the right thing to do. All properly investigated and cleared.

mongoose said...

We are not talking about six-foot tall yobs chucking rocks in Calais. We are talking about primary school age kids, and younger, apparently having magicked themselves up in Kent. There are kids who live in this house who couldn't find Kent on a map let along get there unaided.

As I believe I may have said before, it takes a vile bastard, a desperate bastard or an idiot to take a kid out on the ocean packed into a dinghy with 50 others. That is not the kid's fault. To where, and into whose care, are we going deport these 1500 kids in Kent?

call me ishmael said...

I simply do not know where they are to go but I do have some knowledge of local authority budgets and none of them can absorb the initial or ongoing costs of these children much less their other family members who may miraculously arrive. I didn't say it was by the kids' design that they are here, and that more are said to be coming.

I guess, however, that their fate is a matter for UNICEF rather than for Kent councillors, this is a global phenomenon, not a county council matter. Accommodation, multi-lingual and multi-faith education, health care and family reunification procedures need to be implemented urgently and the displaced children moved to where they will benefit from such. Shipping them piecemeal to Stornoway or Shetland will do them no good. A massive windfall tax on all the usual Globacorp suspects, as well as the Saudis, would fund a proper nursery/orphanage, situated somewhere warm and close to what used to be home. A place in the sun, is the answer, from whence their families might reclaim them, assuming they wanted to. Being shoe-horned into a chaotic, underfunded and despised foster care system is only marginally better than being bussed into Dolphin Square. The British, institutionally, do not like troubled children, not even their own, just look at Rotherham, and inevitably blame the child for the sins of the carers, resulting often in the child being on drugs, in pristitution and/or in jail. 1500, 3000, 10,000 foreign children in the British care system, it's a nightmare proposition, but not as bad as handing them out to Guardian readers, who desperately want to Do Something.

A place of safety must be identified, resourced and established by international agreement, probably in Southern Europe. Fuck the Red Cross and Save the Children, this should be a statutory international body with all the powers it needs, including military force and the power to raid corporate Swiss bank accounts.

mongoose said...

You cannot go around stealing just because some kids have lost their mummies, Mr I. Why, where would it end? Besides Switzerland is the last place you'd want to go trying to get funds for such an adventure. How about the Saudi bastards? They have a few quid and X00million or so of your currency of choice to fund some children's homes along the Med would make barely a dent in the hooker budget.

call me ishmael said...

Your wry point, mr mongoose, is to be taken seriously. I was always curious about the emergence of the term oligarch. One minute the USSR's was a state-controlled economy, the next minute it was run and effectively owned by people who had become zillionaires with no discernible business history behind them and who must, therefore, be thieves and worse. Since they started laundering their swag through London our MediaMinster cocksuckers have awarded them the honorific oligarch and idiot footballists have cheered crooked mafioski to the rafters. The same seems to have happened among the Chinks, a peasant economy overnight spawning massively wealthy gangsters and hookers. The Saudi bastards are longer established but no less criminal. We should kill their security guards, hang some of them from Tower Bridge and confiscate their assets. We won't of course but at the very least we should stop calling them oligarchs and call them what they are - thieving, murdering filth. This is Huw Welshman with the six o clock news and in sports news, look you, that thieving fucking git who owns Chelsea football club, isn't it, Abramski something, isnt that what he calls himself, the cunt, an offence to decent working people he is....

mongoose said...

The problem is one of ambition, Mr Ishmael. Steal a little, and they throw you in jail. Steal a lot and you get to be an oligarch. Somehow the various means of arriving at money - which is power - morph into an aristocracy. The cash piles become more even as the nouveaux pay for their rides. The price of legitimacy, innit. We's gone straight, bruv. Mr Assad's little boy currently plays with the middle east like he would have played with the train-set his daddy should have bought him; Hilary Benn is a fourth generation tyrant of I-know-bestism, now insulated by three generations of deference and index-linked advantage; the House of Saud needs no introduction; China - fuck me, that is a good one. Pick your own examples.

As an aside - and not meant to start an argument - this is why socialism is doomed to constant sorrow. The fuckers forget from where they come, and why. Didn't Shawcross betray it that day in the Commons? "We are the masters now!"

call me ishmael said...

Yes, gotta be an important person to be in here, honey, gotta've done some evil deed.

It is a treadmill of exasperation you describe, on which we step our circular ways, gravewards; the Benns viler in their fashion even than Flashman in his, he at least makes only slender pretence at righteousness; the Benns marshall in their aid and claim as their own a host of saints and sages and deities ancient and modern, Confucius, Jesus, Bertrand Russell and Ghandi, all toilers in the same vineyard as Tony, Hilary and the brat, the child god-empress, wotsername, all trampling the same grapes of injustice and inequality, all fermenting a Chateau Monde Nouvelle Courageux.

I watched Corbyn, today, fall flat on his arse, kicking at an open goal, Flashpman is just so crass, such a vulgarian that anyone with an ounce of decency could kick him up and down the aisle and yet none of them do, not Miliband, not Harman and not Corbyn; they must all be baptised by immersion in the same shit as he, too fearful to nail his lie, lest he, in turn, nail theirs.