Monday 4 January 2016


Sources close to the leader of Militant Extremist KGB-Labour have speculated that Jeremy Corbyn is about to offer the plum post of shadow foreign secretary to commons' veteran, Ken Clarke, MP, QC, a lawyer.  It doesn't matter that he's not a Labour man, said commons' veteran, Ken Livingstone, nor is Hilary Benn.

Now, look, just let me decide what's best for you
 and run along to your ferrets,  
there's a good chap.

Mayor Livingstone, a commons veteran, went on to say that  jazzman, Mr Clarke, a lawyer,  had held many senior offices of state and had roundly fucked them all up, health, education, zombie economics, justice, Ken has made a significant contribution to the way these services operate in today's world, which is to say barely, and is the ideal man to represent Britain abroad, to tobacco cartels and arms manufacturers. In common with the late Lords Janner and Brittan, Mr Clarke had no idea where Dolphin Square was.

Leader of the Official MonsterRavingToryLabour party,  and commons' veteran, Mrs Ice-Pixie Balls, 

Shall I claim for lunch, doll, or shall you?
I know, let's both claim.
said, in all my years of fiddling parliamentary expenses, flipping homes and betraying the core values of this great party, for which I have sacrificed so absolutely nothing,  I have never heard of Tories actually being in  my party, although they didn't actually need to be. Not with  us being more Tory than them.

Writing in the Filth-O-Graph Through The Looking Glass Column, Mr Simon Humpty,  a fat, windy, blustering slag who will write whatever he's told to by whichever anti-democratic, tax-evading arsehole  is currently employing him, said,

We call those willing to bomb innocent people moderates, now, and we call those who are unwilling extremists.
When I use a word, Simon Humpty said, in a rather scornful tone, it means just what I choose it to mean - neither more nor less.

This is the way Corbyn's reshuffle is being reported. The bombing addicts and those who refuse to accept Corbyn's democratic election under Labour  party rules are the moderates, whilst those who accept democracy and resist recollateralising the working class in Syria are the extremists. 
How the rich must scoff at us.


Mike said...

I think it was George Carlin who said: 'fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity'.

mongoose said...

It does look a bit of a mess though. He's a JCR trot, mr Ishmael, good for fuck all but not being as bad as the others.

There are interviews and snippets starting to leak out from Europe, especially Germany and the south thereof, that they think the game may be up and that we will switch back to nationalism and away from The First Comrade's internationalism. They understandably see these things differently on the continent, the warlords having charged back and forth across their gardens in more recent memory than has happened here. It also seems that the austere times in which we live have conspired against some of the more expensive projects of our lords and masters and they are having to scale back their stealing. We seem to be living in what may soon become interesting times.

In other news, the new Jihadi Jeremy is another whose life expectancy we should now be measuring in hours rather than weeks. And somebody needs to task the SAS to go and snatch that little kid out of there too. I guess that they won't though as it is good for showbiz to leave the poor little bugger out there in his Mothercare fatigues.

SG said...

Good observations as ever Mr I. However, I have been momentarily distracted by the Danczuk business. I reckon he's been fitted up -though it couldn't have happened to a 'nicer' man... Also, I thought I had heard it all on the human peversions front but toe nail clippings... FFS!

SG said...

Perversions! You just can't get the staff...

inmate said...

And the rich are scoffing at us. Just now on Newshite with Evan'aircut, Harriet Harpy,peado protector General, was insisting that the leadership of 'her' party should never again be an all male affair. Fuck what the party members want, fuck democracy, the little people should know their place. "It's costing me a fortune in missed bungs and stuffed envelopes, not being in the spotlight, where I am entitled to be." said the sour-faced cow. Cunt.

Anonymous said...

I hope Clarke is offered the job, and he takes it.

It may go some way to awakening the minds of some that ther really is no difference between these gangsters any more. It was a cliché, I can hear my father saying it now, 'What's the point, they're all the same?', but now it really is so.

If you want more puffs, more tax, more nannying, more EU, more crime, more .............. ( insert bad thing here), simply vote. Makes not one jot of difference who you vote for now, not one little bit. The result is bound to be the same. Misery.

Surely it must be against Conservative and Labour party rules, to have a shadow minister from a party currently in government? Would he have to stand down and trigger a by election? How would Labour discipline a Conservative member if he not answerable to their Executive Committee? Can't see it happening. More likely to be Diane Abbopotomous, which will be hilarious.


Mike said...


call me ishmael said...

Horrible, mr mike, horrible.

call me ishmael said...

This is what they call apathy, mr vincent, something for which you can be treated, as long as you are prepared to put the work in, makle yourself fit to be governed.

SG said...

That I had to bookmark Mr Mike.

call me ishmael said...

It all looks like Gulliver's Travels in Lilliput to me, mr mongoose, the Tories, for instance, 'philes and 'sceptics, the spit of the the Big-Endians and Little-Endians. The game was up a long time ago, only bribery, bullying, false accounting and bombast have kept it alive thus far.

mongoose said...

You're quite right, mr ishmael. Swift, Orwell etc - it has all been foreseen.

Mike said...

The original is even more scary, Mr I. Or maybe not?