Wednesday, 5 August 2015


I would simply urge, Andrew, 

that now is the time for Tories like ourselves to stick togevver and defeat, once and for all, the menace of trade union-sponsored socialism. I mean, who wants to go back to the bad old days of cost-of-living payrises which the employers can't afford and workers having rights what they don't need and there being council houses for people to rent? Come on, who wants the return of all them things?

No, the answer doesn't lie in a Labour Party for working people but in one for people like you snd I, Andrew, and you, Michael, a Tory Labour party, like what we got now, under Harriet and the rest of the shadow cabinet.

What we need, Andrew, is a situation where the nation's resources and the means of production, distribution and exchange are owned exclusively  by foreign criminals, one in which workers by hand or mind do exactly as they are told and public servants like myself and Jack Straw and Malcolm Rifkind do exactly as they want.

It doesn't matter who the electorate choose as their next leader, that's not how democracy works......

But if you feel so strongly, why didn't you stand for election.....?

Well, how was I to know there'd be a proper election, I thought the darkie'd just be a shoo-in, Chumba, that his name? Got nuffin against them, coloured people and what with Barak Obama an' everyfin' maybe it's time for a darkie to lead the party. Just as long as we don't have a socialist.
I mean, I hear that people are joining the party just so's they can have a say in it;  where's that gonna end?

But didn't you start-out, Alan Johnson, as a trade union official, 

worrabaht the workers?

rising, I believe, to be the head of quite a militant one?

Fuck the workers, that's worrabout the workers.

Oh, come off it, Andrew, that was just a means to an end. It's just like you, you started off as a journalist and wound-up with Maggie Thatcher, both of you, down on your money-grubbing knees,   fellating Rupert Murdoch,  and now, like Michael here, and myself,  you're a  wealthy, right-wing loony, pretending to be some sort of impartial inquisitor........

So you're saying, Alan Johnson, that we all, those of us in MediaMinster, become that which we were elected or appointed to scrutinise and restrain.

That's exactly worramsayin, Andrew.

And that's why I am urging people to vote for Yvette Cooper, who has many years of experience in not fucking her husband's police bodyguard  and  making him look like a  prat.

Not as much of a prat, I suggest to you, Alan Johnson, as a man who accepted the post of shadow chancellor while boasting that he hadn't a fucking clue about the job. We'll leave that for now and you're gonna play us out, Alan, whaddavya chosen to sing? Not the Red Flag, I'm guessing?

Nah, we got rid of that malarkey, Andrew,

me an' me guvnor,
Mr Blair, 
as I call 'im.

So, no, Andrew, none a that socialist  nonsense. 
You and Michael and the viewers can join-in with this one.....

Stand by your man, and show the world you love him
Keep giving all the love you can.
Stand by your man.
Stand by your man, and show the world you love him
Keep giving all the love you can.
Stand by your man.  

A portrait of the Blairite louse as a young man.


mongoose said...

It is the final triumph of political correctness - which is just dogma like Father Kemp used to spout but with different content. Windmills, gay marriages, a religion of peace, hard-working families, "the investment". The infiltration of thought by sounbbitten bollocks. It has been a long march through the institutions - and it has led us here to watch the revolution eat itself.

StJ is as much the enemy of Blair as he is of Thatcher, and the Luvvies don't get that. Because the emotion attaches itself to the red rosette rather than anything it represents, or represented, they cannot now see that they have become if not Tories, at least conservative. Alan Johnson, an orphan, brought up by his sister in circumstances we don't have to guess at, a postman, a Marxist, and now a pillar of don't-rock-the-boat orthodoxy. There is more fucking socialism in me - and there isn't much, is there? - than there is in him. But that's what you get for being a cunt and deciding to build a party of similar. It's like Primary Colours, so it is, Father.

call me ishmael said...

Yeah, he wears it well, his pain, Johnson, and one wants to like him, as one does most stupid people but he is exactly as you describe him, and exactly as I lampoon him, worse, in his way, than the cock-waving buffoon, Prescott, another career unionist, who is stupid in a way which defeats my powers of description: where John Pies staggers around like an ox with mad cow disease, Johnson is more reptilian, slithering on his belly for Blair and Snotty and even for Andrew Neil. He is not so verminous as Byers and Milburn and Hewitt but he's closer by light years to them than to you and I. And anyway, Gove is an orphan, too. No excuse for shitting in our faces.

Caratacus said...

But Mr. Ishmael, has it not always been thus? “The creatures outside looked from pig to man, and from man to pig, and from pig to man again; but already it was impossible to say which was which.” Politicians are people who laud the spirit of compromise as though it is an end in itself, something to be pursued as a first course rather than a reluctant last; and the easiest subject upon which to begin is their own fair selves. Gimme all that lovely money too, it is my just reward for my triumphant compromising. Thirty pieces? That'll do nicely ...

I like e.e.cummings' definition of a politician as, "an arse upon which everyone has sat except a man".

Alphons said...

Nice to have you back Mr. Ish.

It surprises me that you expect politicians to be other than they really are.
There is the sayihg that the claims "The scum always rises to the top."

call me ishmael said...

If I believed in hanging, gentlemen, I would hang Johnson and all who conspired in the outrage of Iraq, that somehow he is seen as the good guy turns my stomach.

mongoose said...

Of course, the single most important reason to vote for St Jeremy is so that Blair can be dragged into Court at the Hague.

call me ishmael said...

At Nuremberg, if seems, only a tiny handful were punished, all the slave-owning, Zyclon manufacturing industrialists were pardoned with apologies for having wasted their time, it was a farce and were I Jewish I'd be carrying out terror attacks on the Bundesbank, mr mongoose. Blair is similarly embedded in the global kleptocracy as were IG Farben and Mercedes and Krupps, his indictment, therefore, is unlikely, although I would give my home to see it.

mongoose said...

I think Nuremburg was at least a start at some sort of post-conflict justice. Winner's justice it is true but that's the easy half of halfway there.

It's the fuckers who lead the gig who need dragging into the light of day. I find the persecution of some old WWII bastard who used to stand at a sentry post in the cold while vile things happened inside a compound to be just beside the point. Mobilise a whole country to a purpose and ordinary people will do extraordinary things. And some of these will be vile. Good people in extremis will do bad things sometimes, and these bad things will happen to good and bad people alike.

Of course, you're right, it won't happen to Blair. They are even too busy heaping villainy upon the dead, asexual Ted Heath to even fess up to the real live actual beast in Parliament now. And every journalist knows his name. It's a proxied search away from any of us. It needs burning down and St J unleashing a force he doesn't understand is our current best hope. Such as it is. The dick can't even navigate past the IRA question.

Woman on a Raft said...

Looks like you were right about Yentob Yentob Yentob Yentob.

He is in melt-down over his championing of Kids Company, which does not seem to have extended to any reasonable trustee work such as making sure the money was spent properly on helping children.

I had hoped the charity was managing to get the most vulnerable children to accept shelter rather than running off with the first pimp/dealer who smiled deceitfully at them. Maybe it has to be accepted that no matter how well-intended the amateurs are, it requires a professional - and a closely supervised one - to avoid making a bad situation worse.

I have to confess that I thought that all the great and the good around her meant that it must be doing something worthwhile. Turns out it was more of a frottage fest with them all furiously engorging each other's egos. More fool me for not spotting it.

call me ishmael said...

More joy in Heaven, mrs woman on a raft.... You beat me to it ln this one, see further on up the road.

I have done this gig, this voluntary sector charity thing, and believe me, it is as bad a place as you would expect it to be and worse.

call me ishmael said...

I will come back to that, mr mongoose.

call me ishmael said...

But on the subject of crime and not punishment, I see Malcolm Shouty is rehabilitated, ranting on Newsnight, last night, as though anybody gives a fuck what he says, the thieving, mangy bastard.