HIS ROYAL FUCKPIGNESS, CHARLES, PRINCE OF WALES,
DUKE OF CORNWALL AND USELESS, IDLE PIMPING BASTARD
I'M GOING TO BE KING, YES I AM, SO YOU CAN ALL FUCK OFF.
KISS MY ROYAL ARSE, NOT THAT YOU NEED AN INVITATION, MOST OF YOU.
One would just like to say that one is appalled, absolutely appalled, at the dreadful suffering in one's dukedom, I mean, one may well have to forego a portion of one's rents. And at a time when one is going to have to root around in one of the silver cupboatds to give the newlyweds a gift, well, it's a jolly poor show. One may have to go off for six weeks ski-ing to help one restore one's equilibrium. A jolly good job you lot are paying for the wedding. And my Coronation. And Camilla's. Well, if this little scrubber can be Queen so can my dear old horsefaced shagbag, eh? The people? Fuck the people, they'll think what they're told.
Lieutenant Colonel Rupert Golightly-Jockstrap, of the Queen's Own RedTrousered NancyBoys Regiment, an equerry (fawning servant) to his Grace, the Duke, said that although His Royal Highness was deeply moved by the plight of his subjects in St Austell and some other towns of the Dukedom which he had temporarily forgotten the names of, he would not be jumping on the Royal Train and going down to help with sandbags and sweeping the shit out of people's grimy little hovels, Fuck me, no. That's not what the Royal Family is for.
7 comments:
Sorry Charlie, I am starting up a campaign to Make Harry King. He's the only one with a bit of gumption about him.
yes, best keep it in the family, so to speak. I fear he's a few centuries out of his time, though, Harry, more Agincourt than Highgrove and the ghastly Prince's Trust.
Prince Hal, I think you mean. He's currently in his Falstaffian phase. Gad's Hill and all that.Good to see the ancient English bloodlines reasserting themselves in Hal's colouring and temperament. He's the spit and image of the young King Henry the Eighth
Jeez, Agatha, is it wise to get him a Catharine?
Agree: it is a narrative imperative that Owen Ap Tudor's boy is back on the throne.
We don't need a campaign though; the Fates are already working on it.
Funny, I was pondering impending Eurodoom only yesterday, which led me on to thinking about threats England had faced in the past, threats from Europe (Continental Europe to any nitpicking foreign bastards), and the Elizabethan period sprung to mind.
Same old shit, same old enemies. It gives me hope, we've been there before, and whatever 'they' do, we'll always remain an island, not easily within their grubby reach.
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