Friday, 5 November 2010


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And now, Jacqui Schmidt, viewers will want to know, what about the porn?

Oh, I haven't done any yet.

You mean you might? Confessions of a home seckatry, bottles of blue nun,
nighty-night, that sort of thing?

Well, clearly,  the script would have to be right. And the co-stars. And the money.

No use looking at me, I'm not like that.
But I hear David Blunkett's always looking for money, that would be confessions of two home seckatries. A-ha- ha-ha. If you will forgive me.  One of them blind, both of them stupid. Porn for blind people. I think we may be onto something here, Andrew.


yardarm said...

So the rehabilitation has begun ? No doubt quiet conclaves have decided, without leaving a papertrail that it wouldn`t do to have a Home Secretary banged up with the mules and shoplifters.

Possibly too thick to realise she she was doing wrong, wasn`t she Home Secretary when Peoples Security Bureau thugs escorted the Olympic Torch through London. One of those sit up and ' Hang on ' moments.

call me ishmael said...

The most mediocre home secretary in my lifetime, Schmidt, and that's saying something. It was the way the Chink goons shoved Snotty around, on his own doorstep, which upset me so much.

jgm2 said...

What upset me the most was her having an opposition MP arrested for making embarrasing leaks highlighting her government's incompetence. And then po-faced going before the cameras and suggesting that the leaks were some great matter of national security hence the unprecedented arrest of an opposition MP. Wouldn't want to interfere in the legal process...

You fucking WHAT? The cunt that set the police onto an opposition MP 'wouldn't want to interfere in the legal process?'. And all the while Jack Straw hovering in the back-ground, prompting her with the precise formula of words to try and maintain the fiction that they'd really gone too far this time in shutting down any dissenting voice. 'Grooming' - a word, in the public's mind, imbued with the insidious actions of predatory paedophiles, used to describe the relationship between the MP and guy providing the embarrassing leaks.

Fat, bath-plug-claiming, porn-claiming, forked-tongued cunt she may be but her absolute worst was having an opposition MP arrested for making nothing more than embarrassing leaks. Pure fucking scum.

And yet only deserted by her constituents over a 10 quid porn claim. Arresting opposition MPs? - no fucking problem.

And I read somewhere the other day she's got a new part-time job as a director or NED or something for KPMG on 70K a year. And looking for a similar figure from the BBC Trust for a 2 1/2 day week. She should be fucking unemployable with a record like hers.

Anonymous said...

She IS unemployable, Mr jmg2. What she is seeking payment for is not what most people would describe as work.