Sunday 21 November 2010

CHURCH NEWS.

POPE NAZI: FREE CONDOMS FOR NONCING MONSIGNORS

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Nein, liebschen, und brothers in Christ. Iss very kind ov you but at my age ve do not need ze rubber johnnies  und so iss no point in trying to get von on ze papal knob. Und anyvay, mit all zese silly fuckers vatching us ve couldn't haff no brudderly fun, eh, like in ze seminary?

But mein message to ze staff is ven you is going about holy duties and sticking ze big, hot, purple und angry priestly knob up ze liddle boys' liddle bottom or down ze liddle girls' liddle throats und telling ze liddle fuckers zat zey vill go to Hell iff zey tell anyone, or doing any ov ze vunderful beastly, Ach, I mean priestly, things by  vich  ve spread ze gospel, iss ok now to use ze rubber johnnies.  Zese little fuckers iss dirty liddle  bastards und sometimes a brother in Christ, in ze heat of ze moment,  can  rip ze ungrateful liddle bastard's bowel open und, fuck me Jesus und all ze fucking saints,  iss fucking shit everywhere, including up ze priestly von-eye trouser snake und need more zan holy fucking water to fix up zat motherfucker. For too long, brothers, ze men in black haff been exposed to ze risks ov fucking ze dirty liddle bastards mitout ze proper protection, especially ven ze liddle boy or liddle girl hass been passed around among ze faithful. Und some cops und judges und senior politicians . Now, praise Jesus und Mary und ze Holy Spirit und all zat fucking rubbish, is ok. Go avay und catch ze diseases no more. Heil Hitler.


The Filth-O-Graph does religion, claims to speak for people of faith, well, Micks or C of E, anyway, and  insists today that by suggesting that rentboys - but not exhausted women,  battered into desperation and early death by  childbirth - use condoms, Ratso reveals his "charity and common sense."

Not a word of this repulsive old monster making a career of protecting his organisation from  investigation or prosecution for the  worst crimes short of murder; no mention that he sought to devise mechanisms by which his gang could avoid making court-ordered compensation to its thousands of victims or that, as consigliere to the last Poping bastard,  he  organised the spiriting-away, to other parishes, dioceses or countries, of the most serious, practised, shameless serial criminals, ran, in short, an undergound, an escape route, that permitted his savagely noncing, beastly brethren to escape identification and prosecution but worse, unleashed them, serially,  on  an apparently limitless supply of new child victims. Charity and common sense? Bastard needs hanging.

2 comments:

mongoose said...

And give the Popenfuhrer a bit of credit. It has been a hocus pocus of the Catholics forever and a day that contraception was wrong. That he has had to clothe his advance in cant and drivel is sad but he has got the gig done. At least future generations will not have to do the lying that past generations had to get up to. And if it slows or turns the AIDS epi-pan-whatever-demic, then that will be something to write on the plus side of the Pearly Gates ledger.

Perhaps he will move on tomorrow to hanging kiddie-fiddling priests. Can the Pope still have Inquisitions? Let's hope so.

call me ishmael said...

Wouldn't Holy Benny have to start with Inquisiting himself? Difficult with him being infallible. Jesus, time this dark ages mumbo jumbo was outlawed.

I disagree, mr m, anyway, that he's got the gig done, the logic of his outrageous utterance is that it's not a dispensation for heterosexuals, just for rentboys and their customers, keeping contraception in Sin's demimonde. What's it gonna be like, down the confession booths? Bless me father, for I have sinned with my wife but I'm doubling as a rentboy, so will it be ok?

UN fighters, strafing the Vatican, that's the thing. Send their rotten arses off to God.