HOW TO SPEAK EURO

European officials urged Ireland's beleaguered government to press ahead with its planned budget and not to call a snap election as criticism of its 77bn bail-out grew in the country.

"" We don't have a position on the domestic democratic politics of Ireland but it is essential that the budget will be adopted in time and we will be able to conclude the negotiations on the EU-IMF programme in time," European Monetary Affairs Commissioner Olli Rehn said, adding "Stability is important."

Ze elections, zey are no part of ze modern democracy, nein? Ze peepul must do vot is good for ze bankers, nein? Uzzervise I am out of eine job, und skint, just like Paddy. Fuck zat schidt.