CHIMP WRITES BOOK
PRESIDENT GEORGE DUBYA CHIMP, FORMER COMMANDER IN CHIMP AND PRESIDENT OF THE GREATEST NATION ON EARTH, EVER, HARD AT WORK ON HIS JUST-PUBLISHED BOOK, DECISION POINTS.
A lower primate, previously deemed incapable of communicating, a former alcoholic, wifebeater, cokefiend, embezzler and Oh, fuck, I don't know what else, has astonished the world by putting his name to a book most likely written by one of his keepers, although not a member of his family, as they are all as stupid as him, especially his mate, Laura Bush, below
FORMER FIRST CHIMPESS, LAURA DUBYA CHIMP,
DESCRIBES A CHIMP ERECTION, ONLY THAT, SHE TOLD DAVID LETTERMAN, WOULDA BEEN WHEN HE HADNA BEEN OUT DRINKING OR DOING COKE OR WHORING,
SO PROBABLY NEVER, ACTUALLY.
One of Dubya's former keepers, sacked for being wordy but dumb as shit, Mr Donald Rumschimp, below, said,
THERE ARE CHIMPS YA KNOW ABOUT
CHIMPS YA DON'T KNOW ABOUT
AND CHIMPS YA DON'T KNOW YA DON'T KNOW ABOUT.
AND THEN THERE'S CHIMPS LIKE GEORGE FUCKIN' DUBYA.
CHIMPS YA DON'T KNOW ABOUT
AND CHIMPS YA DON'T KNOW YA DON'T KNOW ABOUT.
AND THEN THERE'S CHIMPS LIKE GEORGE FUCKIN' DUBYA.
Dubya's a good ole chimp an all and there's nobody I wouldn rather not wanna have as a getaway driver, anybody'd do, other'n him, dumb fuck's drunk all the time, or stewed outa his fucking mind on Bolivian marching powder but there's no fuckin' way that sonofabitchin' chimp wrote any kinda fuckin' book. As much chancea that motherfucker writing a book as there is a alla them World Trade Center Buildings just collapsing in their own footprints, neat as you like, somea them without there even being a Godamned fucking explosion in them or anyfuckinwhere near them, you believe that shit you'll believe chimps can write fuckin' books.
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Channel 4 showed a clip of a US interview with President Chimp in which he declared that (paraphrase) the toughest thing that happened to him, during his two term demolition of civilisation as we know it, was to be called a racist by a rapper cos he left all the black folk to drown and fester after Katrina.
He ordered and gloried in the blitzkrieg of two nations, established his very own concentration camp and possibly was complicit in the September 11 attacks - and the toughest thing was someone saying 'he doesn't care about black people'?
Less Chimp, more Baboon I'd say - noisy, appetite-driven, destructive, aggressive little beasts, and prone to wag their arses at others to prove they are the baddest baboon on the block.
And the cunt's saying that water-boarding prevented Canary Wharf and Heathrow being hit which is completely unfuckingstantiated. Hmm.
I am happy to be what the great tabloid political historian, Colonel von Fawkes, describes, wittily, as a troofer, anybody swallows that nine-eleven shit shouldn't be allowed out on his own.
Right before your very eyes ladeezangenullmen, not two but three skyscrapers defying all the laws of physics and demolishing themselves, floor by floor, just all on the very day that the mightiest military air power in history was inexplicably stood down.
Fuck me, if it wasn't for that passport fluttering to Earth right at the feet of a govament agent we wouldna known it was a fiendish Saudi Arabian who masterminded the greatest outrage in history - despite the strong fraternal and business ties between le famille Bush and the coke-snorting, headchopping fuckpig Saud dynasty - and that therefore we hadda invade Eyerack, just like we always wanted to.
And yes, mr ptb, destruction of civilisation. Shock and Awe was a cultural as well as a humanitarian outrage, Mesapotamia, the cradle of civilisation blown to bits by UK and US munitions, museums and galleries looted; these fuckers Blair and Bush, they value nothing but money; monsters and war criminals, thieves and torturers, lionised still, by skymadeupnewsandfilth; talkin' bout my generation.
As recently as last week on the radio I heard some gobby, crewcut, psychobastard MommasBoy from the famed US Chimp Corp recounting how he'd been glad to go to Eyerack and kick some ass 'cos he'd known someone who'd known someone who'd died in nine eleven. Semper fideles, does it mean Good Chimps Get Free Bananas?
I've dabbled many toes in the murky waters of 9/11 troofers/conspiracy theorists. My own conclusions, open to revision with more evidence, are that the plot - long in the making - was a real plot but known well beforehand (pilots training only to take-off and not land was a bit of a gimme) and that the US War Machine Inc. decided to lard on their own agenda and add a few other 'useful' events to boot. So, spiriting away the bin Laden clan on planes when the whole country was a no-fly zone; warning all Israelis not to go to work that day; demolishing buildings for a combination of data concealment and real estate value; and sending a drone into the side of the Pentagon which was being redecorated - all in a day's work for the shadowy operators in God's own country. I don't fully understand the Pennsylvania 'downed plane', unless a bid was put in during the planning stage by Hollywood.
Marine Chimp? As my namesake never did say,'There's a sucker born every minute'. Handy for those who would hasten judgement day. And yes, Mesapotamia, the cradle of civilisation, rendered a mute testimony to the fruits what happens when mature civilisation is reduced to Disneyland, MacD's and Krispy Creme Donuts, the last of which now has an outpost as Waterloo Station. Progress, thy name is Lard.
Do you remember those 'B Movies', Mr I and Mr PTB, even as adolescents, we all knew they were rubbish, but we'd paid for our tickets and neither the girlfriend of the day nor I were ever in any hurry to leave the cosy flickering warmth of the Cinema.
These days, they show a 'B Movie' and half the planet walks out of the cinema thinking the other half's going to cut their heads off.
I really do despair of the younger generation's critical faculties, but you can't blame them when they've somehow learned that words speak louder than actions.
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Don't miss "9/11", the NWO Crime Movie of the Century! (Caution: Contains some graphic live footage) and be sure to catch "7/7", opening soon in London at a cinema near you.
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I don't know any words to describe this level of evil - help me out, please, with a word for when members of governments kill their own people, or allow them to be killed and maimed without permission. The fear that I have is that people(?) who can devise and organise this sort of thing can do anything - maybe that's the message they wanted to send to the rest of the world: "If necessary, we can demolish you, too!"
It was ever thus, but it's not that clever anymore; not with the Internet thingy.
Well, Mr Anon, El Presidente Obama has given us 'extrajudicial killing', which is kind of like murder, except when the President says, Ok, kill him, that bloke over there, he might do something mean to someone who's A-mehr-kan.
And now the Land of the Free has given us a new classic of modern culture, Call of Duty: Black Ops. Folk queuing up at midnight for a chance to virtually liquidize or liquidate Eyerackies, so realistic apparently you can even kill your allies. Just a game. Hell, they even recruited hard-core game players to operate drones over the 'Stan, shooting brides and baby-jihadists all the way from a military base in Inbred, MiddleAmerica.
So I think it's worse than believing in a B Movie. Everything is equally real and everything is just a computer game.
help me out, please, with a word for when members of governments kill their own people, or allow them to be killed and maimed....
Isn't it called a distinguished career of public service?
The first is called murder, Mr I, and the second is called treason.
Talking of 'treason' Mr Ishmael, I notice that it is only now that Mervyn King is developing a little bit of a twitchy bum about governments printing money. Perhaps he should be reminded of his complicity in the Brownian Imbecility of 18 months (or was it 24 months) ago when the Maximum Imbecile (Eternal Rectal Cancer be Upon Him) decided that what the UK really needed was 200bn quid printed in order to pay the Public Sector and let the next government sort out his monumental economic clusterfuck. The sooner to return Labour to power. Because it's the right thing to do.
I must have missed Mervyn's resignation. It is hardly credible that he would have acquiesced in the architect of the UK's economic destruction ducking out of responsibility by the simple ruse of just printing money and leaving the next government to take the shit. Surely a man of integrity would not have saddled every single person in the UK with another 3500 quid of debt just so that he, personally, could shuffle off with a knighthood?
Thank you, Gentlemen.
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