Tuesday 2 June 2009

WHAT THE PAPERS SAY

ALL ACROSS THE TELEGRAPH

By skymadeupnewsandfilth’s Mr Ishmael.

Is this it? Is this what we are reduced to? Government, parliament and people whipped by the grotesque Barclay Twins, dressed up as Lion Tamers? Drunken, idle, Home Counties rednecks, clapped-out Yanks; nieces, mistresses, tarts and fornicating bums, working for a succession of media no-marks, sucking first Conrad Black’s criminal knob and now the freaky Bizarro Twins’, no friends of democracy, they, horrible pair of monsters; is this it ? The opposition ? Somebody should tell them to fuck off. Go on, Fuck off Telegraph.

Difficult to choose which is the more objectionable, Bishop Brogan simpering his piety or the cynical, circulation-boosting drip-drip-drip of these details, the bones of which Lobby Telegraphists, BBC hacks and every press slag in London must have known and sat on for decades, leaving it to the likes of Guido Pizza to expose and then, running-scared of the new media, breaking ranks, coming over holier than thou. Arseholes.

The children from within the charmed circle will continue to go to Eton and Oxbridge and spend a lifetime shitting in our faces; that, and nothing else, is the raison d’etre of the Daily Telegraph. Were they interested in democracy rather than market share they would dump all this shit in the public domain, let the people read it in its entirety, let other papers do a bit of digging, doling it out makes the whole thing a penny dreadful and meantime, of course, the pin-stripe spivs, beloved of the Telegraph as Wealth Creators, slink away with our money; Uncle Sam’s gang-raping GI Joes continue their sport with dogs and broom handles, Tony and Imelda, slither from bribe to bribe and Tommy marches off to fresh pastures crimson.

If Guido Pizza had had sufficient funds to buy this material and publish it then the Telegraph’s libertarians, in the form of the mad old broad, Daly and the purple-faced baboon, Heffer, would have been up on their hind legs squealing about chequebook journalism, tongues firmly up parliamentary democracy’s rectum, as it is they have a scoop which they market as principle, hoarding it’s very penny’s worth.

Read the Telegraph, yesterday’s news today. Politicians are corrupt, read all about it. Newspaper magnates are corrupt, too; don’t read all about it.

14 comments:

Anonymous said...

I want to know why the Telegraph did it? A hidden agends is my guess.

call me ishmael said...

You can bet your anonymous arse, Mr anonymous, that there will be one - and it won't be one that profits you or I.

black hole sunset said...

Wasn't the suggestion that the Twins are anti-EU and that discrediting Lib/Lab/Con politicians would most likely benefit UKIP?

One thing to consider is that the other MSM outlets probably had just as much of an agenda in not buying and printing the blagged recepts.

It's reasonable to suppose that a Parliamentary release of the same data would have been very carefully edited/censored/redacted to favour Labour at the expense of everyone else and that they (Labour) would also have timed the release to occur when it could do least damage to themselves.

Perhaps we've got the best if it after all - even if it is the usual MSM horrorshow.

call me ishmael said...

"Perhaps we've got the best of it after all - even if it is the usual MSM horrorshow."

Yes Mr black hole sunset, that's probably right; it's just so unpalatable.

I hadn't heard about the Bizarros being manipulatively anti-EU but it certainly makes sense.

What pisses me the most is that these people do socialise, they are part of the same incestuous clique and the Lobby must have known all this shit for years, decades and I do think it is - at least in part - a reaction to the web having dumped the press in the same shithole as it generally puts politicians. By buying this information rather than discovering it journalistically or just having the courage to print what it knew to be true, with or without receipts, the Telegraph kinda gets down, itself, in the shit. If this is public interest it's been public interest for decades - but then these people ptotected and still worship at the shrine of Lord Blackstockings of the Florida State Penitentiary, these people see nothing at all awry in their journalists being part-time MPs, part-time Mayor of London. It's the two, or more jobs which we should really be rioting about, but, Hey, all men of the World, eh.

black hole sunset said...

Sorry, didn't mean to sound such a defensive tone - the Westminster/Fleet Street panto is a criminal conspiracy.

Your post is bang on, and far more detailed than anything I've got to say on the subject.

Daisy said...

"Somebody should tell them to fuck off. Go on, Fuck off Telegraph."

What total bollocks. This was an exercise that had to be gone through and the Telegraph was apparently the only newspaper prepared to do it.

The disk had been around for a while, you would have thought there would have been a lively bidding war, yet apparently not - the other papers not being keen to print and so opted, instead, to continue the conspiracy of silence you complain about.

What does it matter who owns the Telegraph, or who is employed there? The important thing is that the facts were made known to all, as they should be.

Nor do I agree that they should have released all the details in one tranche; there would have been too much to properly assimilate, the big names would have been concentrated on and many of the others would have escaped the degree of attention they deserved.

Plus, the fact that the thieving bastards have been glued to their e-mails every day, awaiting the dreaded missive from the Telegraph is an added benefit.

No, Mr Ishmael, the people at the Telegraph have performed a public service, they deserve our thanks - there is even a slim chance our parliament might end up better for it.

call me ishmael said...

Dear Mr Ms Daisy

Are we really to be governed by the business interests of a pair of tax-evading freaks; have you nothing to say to the point that these people -Heffer and Brogan and Daly & Co- have known of these abuses for decades; that Thatcher and Hastings and Kissinger and the obnoxious little prick Hague were close conspirators with Black and Amiel in their massive larceny, far graver than this series of trashy betrayals ? Can you really not see an agenda here which is as counter-democratic as anything cooked-up by Brown. Or do you believe still in the tooth fairy ?

Do you really believe that we are unable to decipher a bunch of receipts and that we need the Telegraph to filter them for us and release them to us in their own chosen order of importance, or can you, like many New Britons, not do mental arithmetic, and finally if you searched the Ishmaelite canon you would find that we have here been lampooning and accusing Brown et al whilst the Telegraph was kissing his arse, maintaining ludicrous nostrums such as the honourable nature of its old school chums in Westminster and peddling the preposterous nonsense that Brown was a sublimely adept Chancellor, a man of prudence; any brief analysis of this quadrant of cyberspace will reveal that it is the Telegraph which has belatedly come around to our view, and not, as you seem to think, vice versa. It would profit you to resist the whipped-up tide of populist opinion in this matter and be a little more reflective, you will generally find something here to assist you in that endeavour, as you have today, albeit arriving, mistakenly, back where you started.

Dick the Prick said...

One step at a time Mr Ishmael, 1 step at a time.

Daisy said...

Dear Mr Ishmael,

That the owners of the Telegraph have a commercial interest in maximising their sales, or that they take steps to minimise their tax liability, is not news, nor is it sufficient reason, in my view, for suggesting that their motives for purchasing and publishing the disk are anti-democratic.

I've seen the conspiracy theories that suggest, for example, that they wished to promote UKIP's chances at the expense of the Conservatives, but I have'nt seen a scrap of evidence to support it. Nor, in the greater scheme of things, do I think it matters. What does matter, surely, is that we have been given access to the truth and that a light has been shone on our politicians that would not otherwise have happened.

I accept, of course, that there has been a conspiracy of silence on this and much else, but the fact remains that the Telegraph have broken it. It is noticeable that not one other newspaper have offered their readers any explanation as to why they apparently rejected the opportunity and preferred, instead, to continue the conspiracy and leave their readers in ignorance. If you want to look for conspiracy theories, why not start there?

I can do mental arithmetic, thank you for asking, and occasionally I even get the same answer twice in a row; my point was not that you personally needed a searchlight and a guide dog to find your own arse, but that for the ordinary "man-in-the-street" the effect would have been rendered less comprehensible by a mass release. I watched a focus group recently on the telly, 30 people grabbed at random off the street, and was shocked and amazed at the extent of their ignorance and stupidity on any aspect of politics or anything to do with the running of the country. These people really do need a picture drawing for them, preferably in crayon.

lilith said...

I don't think the Telegraph was so very keen. None of the papers offered the disc wanted to publish it, at least they didn't want to cover anyone's expenses for procuring the thing. The Telegraph was dying. It probably would have folded by now if they hadn't run this story. I bought the paper about 6 weeks ago and as I turned the pages I thought "I have already read this story" over and over again. It truly is Yesterdays News Tomorrow.


It also seemed to me that Mr Pizza goaded them into buying it by offering to receive the disc himself.

I am loving the drip feed: people getting more and more riled. What pisses me off is the bias shown to Balls and others. Why aren't we hearing about Ben Chapman's resignation over his ghost mortgage?

call me ishmael said...

Dear Mr Ms Daisy

I am sorry to prolong a difference of opinion and i don't intend to be uncordial about it but I cannot accept -Big Brother and the Sun and all the rest acknowledged - that the man in the street needs a picture drawing for him by those whose main purpose is, normally, to keep him in the dark. I may not endorse his leisure activities but I would always value the opinion of one who does something over that of one who talks about doing something - indeed, one of the sharpest and brightest individuals I know is but a plumber.

Daisy said...

Dear Mr Ishmael,

Your courtesy, as ever, becomes you. We will agree to differ.

call me ishmael said...

Yes, Lilith, it went downmarket under Conrad and Field Marshal Hastings and has stayed there ever since, a contradiction of a rag, written by redneck fuckpigs like Heffer - God save me, an Old Edwardian - and a ragbag of mistresses and God-daughters yet, overall, peddling a Consumerist-vaguely-socialist Lifestyle consciousness, Bron Waugh and AN Wilson it's last great writers.

I think you're right, it was overdue to fold and no amount of this expenses shit will do other than postpone that, most, I guess, just accessing the info online.

Can't stand the smell of blood and burgundy at the PizzaParlour and never go there, so your despatch about Pizza-for-Info was interesting.

On Balls, I have just quickly read a Brown biog by Pesto of the Banks and according to him the link between Brown and Balls is forged in blood, each the other's architect - rather like Blair and Brown, but sweatier - Balls's yearning for the Treasury akin to Brown's ambition to be Supreme Presbyterian. Freaky stuff for ordinary folk like us who have proper lives. The Balsses do seem to have got off Scot-free, rather like Tony and Imelda; maybe The Bizarrograph can put-together again the shredded evidence of their public service but probably not, now they are, with George Chimp, Dick Cheney and Don Rumsfeld, in the Realms of Untouchability.

call me ishmael said...

Mr Dick the Prick

one step at a time, you shuld say that yon fucking alien playing the guitar with his feet, what you sent me.