The Sunday Ishmael: 28/09/2025: The Musical

Bel and Keir's duet at the Labour Party Conference Musical: 

🎤 Bel:  
I’ve read your memos, seen your polls,  
Can justice come in electoral goals?  
You say we must be prudent, smart—  
But Keir, just means-test my heart.

🎤 Keir:  
I fear the headlines, fear the spin,  
They say compassion’s not how you win.  
But your voice cuts through the party chart—  
And maybe I should means-test my heart.

🎤 Both:  
Let’s raise the rate, let’s raise the roof,  
Let’s tax the rich and tell the truth.  

No more half-measures torn apart—  
Tonight, we means-test our hearts.

Like a super-size Kemi Badenoch, 

Bel Ribeiro-Addy was on Laura Kuensberg's political panel in Liverpool, because the BBC are covering the Labour Party Conference. The other, less woke, political parties might go to the posh, slightly faded seaside, but Labour knows that its black conference goers will feel more comfortable in a grimy, northern city. And they have to do something to keep their Northern onside.

Keir Starmer was the interviewee of the morning, winning my heart with his sweet little smile and touching little donkey story.

The Sunday Times broke a story that Keir bought seven acres of agricultural land behind his parents' home in Surrey so that his parents could set up an animal sanctuary, and gave the land to them through a structure designed to exclude the field's value from their estate after they died. You can imagine the glee with which the Sunday Times was all over the story - especially after Angela Raynor's recent stamp duty difficulties. But Keir smiled a little sadly as he told the nation the Times had got things wrong. "I was a lawyer at the time and the land was only £20,000". Laura jumped in to say £20,000 is a lot of money to a lot of people - she could have added that when sold, in May 2022, Keir's share of the proceeds was around £295,000.

But Keir continued that he gave the field to his mum and dad, because they loved donkeys.

'My mum was very ill and she couldn't move around anymore. She, by the end of her life, had her leg amputated and she could barely communicate. She was very, very ill. She loved her donkeys and I wanted her to be able to see her donkeys.' He gave the field to his parents but retained the title - which kind of sounds like a life interest trust. He should have declared the field in the Register of Members Interests and an investigation by the Parliamentary Commissioner for Standards in June 2022 into his failure to register the field ended in Mr Starmer apologising and the register being retrospectively amended.

So that got conference off to a good old fashioned money scandal start. Not that he did anything wrong. He's a lawyer, after all.

Back to Bel Ribena-Addy. She is at odds with Keir Starmer and Rachel Reeves concerning their handling of the economy and she never hesitates in setting out her economic position - that the Government should invest in the public sector to stimulate growth, Reeves should junk her fiscal head-roomery, the two child cap on Universal Credit benefits should be removed and the Winter Fuel payment fully restored.

No, come on - it's a legitimate economic theory. Post-Keynesianism. Basically, give the poor money and they will spend it and that is a good thing because it stimulates the economy - more goods are made and sold, more take-aways consumed. Whereas, if you give the rich money - or don't stop them from grabbing it for themselves, they will hoard it. Rich and poor will drift further apart, the middle-class will be beggared and Austerity will drive down growth. 

Time for another song from the Tax the Rich Musical:

Dancing Civil Servants

🎤 Civil Servants:  

We shuffle funds from here to there,  

Pretend we’ve got a plan to spare.  

The numbers dance, the figures prance—  

It’s time for the Budget Dance!

🎤 Chancellor (spinning):  

I cut, I freeze, I allocate,  

And blame the poor for the interest rate.  

I twirl through debt, I leap through loss—  

While dodging every moral cross.

🎤 Chorus:  

Oh spin the stats, disguise the pain

And waltz through cuts like summer rain.  

The rich applaud, the poor revolts—  

But still we dance the Budget Waltz!

Gary Stevenson, former trader, author of the Trading Game, is of very similar view. 

 “We’re heading for collapse if we don’t act.”

“I’ve seen the numbers. The rich are getting richer at a pace that’s unsustainable. If we don’t tax extreme wealth, we’ll end up with a society where the top 1% live in luxury and everyone else is in economic freefall. It’s not just unfair—it’s economically suicidal.”

“Bel is absolutely right to call for wealth taxes. We need to stop pretending that billionaires are job creators. They’re asset hoarders."

Passport stamps for travellers to two-state Britain: 

Travelling to two-state Britain? Here's some Tips to help fit in:

• Language: In Rich Britain, “we’re tightening our belts” means switching from Dom Pérignon to Veuve Clicquot. In Real Britain, it means skipping dinner.

• Dress Code: Rich Britain wears tailored suits and moral ambiguity. Real Britain wears school uniforms bought two sizes too big to last the year.

But, Bel and Gary, what about Trickle Down? You know, the more they have, the more wealth is in the economy:

The Trickle Down Tango - 

We dance in suits, we dine in jets,  

We say the poor should pay their debts.  

We build our wealth on borrowed hope,  

Then blame the poor who cannot cope.  

Trickle down, trickle down, we swear it’s real—  

Just ignore the hunger, and sign the deal.

Bel and Gary take the view that Trickle-Down Economics is horse-shittery. That wealth inequality is systemic and dangerous, that a wealth tax is essential to rebalance the economy, that austerity has failed and deepened poverty, that public sector investment is key to long-term growth and stability and that without intervention, collapse is likely. The we're all doomed argument.

Well, what of the Laffer Curve?

What indeed? the Laffer curve illustrates a theoretical relationship between rates of taxation and the resulting levels of the government's tax revenue. The Laffer curve assumes that no tax revenue is raised at the extreme tax rates of 0% and 100%, meaning that there is a tax rate somewhere between 0% and 100% that maximizes government tax revenue. The more you tax, the less incentive there is to work and the more likely it is that your whoreson millionaire will bugger off abroad. It was made up by Arthur Laffer in 1974, when he sketched the curve on a napkin to illustrate his argument, during a meeting with Dick Cheney and Donald Rumsfeld, and has been held in due reverence by economists ever since. But is there any evidence in practice of it working? Most countries are not near the “revenue-maximizing” point. In other words, cutting taxes often leads to less revenue, not more, and critics argue that the curve has been weaponized to justify tax cuts for the wealthy, without evidence that these cuts benefit the broader economy. The Kansas Experiment was a tax-cutting policy initiated by Governor Sam Brownback in 2012, citing the Laffer Curve which aimed to stimulate economic growth through significant tax reductions. The experiment involved the largest tax cuts in Kansas history, but it ultimately led to budget shortfalls and economic challenges, prompting the Kansas legislature to repeal the tax cuts in 2017. 

Ribeiro-Addy advocates higher taxes on the ultra-rich to fund public services, the opposite of Laffer’s tax-cut logic and Stevenson argues that concentrated wealth is economically destabilizing, and that redistribution is essential—not optional.

Welcome to The Curveball: Laffer versus Reality:

Host:

“Tonight, we welcome the man who turned tax theory into a cocktail napkin legend—Arthur Laffer!”

(Applause. Laffer enters holding a napkin framed in gold.)

🧠 Arthur Laffer (smiling):

“Let me be clear: if you tax people too much, they stop working. It’s basic math. Or napkin art. Either way, I’m very good at this.”

💼 Gary Stevenson (guest economist):

“Arthur, with respect, Kansas tried your theory. They slashed taxes, and the economy tanked. Schools closed. Roads crumbled. The only thing that trickled down was despair.”

🏛️ Bel Ribeiro-Addy (guest MP):

“And let’s not forget the UK. Austerity didn’t unleash growth—it unleashed food banks. Your curve is less economics, more economic fan fiction.”

🎤 Arthur Laffer (defensive):

“But Reagan loved it! And he had great hair. Besides, the curve is elegant. It’s shaped like a smile. Don’t you want a smiling economy?”

📈 Audience Member (shouting):

“Your curve looks like my mortgage graph—up, then disaster!”

“The Laffer Curve”

A full-cast number featuring Arthur Laffer, hedge fund managers, and a confused Treasury intern.

Style: Vaudeville meets cabaret, with tap dancing economists and a chorus line of tax forms.

🎤 Arthur Laffer:  

I drew a curve upon a napkin,  

Said, “Cut the tax, the cash’ll happen!”  

They cheered and clapped, the rich got thrilled—  

While public services got billed.

🎤 Chorus:  

It’s shaped like hope, it dips like lies,  

It’s sold as truth in bow-tie guise.  

But every time we slash and swerve,  

We crash into the Laffer Curve!

🎤 Treasury Intern:  

I studied graphs, I did my best—  

But this one failed the fiscal test.  

It’s not a plan, it’s just a squiggle,  

And now my pension’s just a giggle.

Les Misérables: Political Edition

In foreign news, we are delighted to report that the Dwarf Sarkozy has finally been sent to prison. You remember Sarkozy? Former President of France, and, as Wiki so elegantly puts it: "Nicolas Paul Stéphane Sarközy de Nagy-Bocsa, born 28 January 1955, is a French politician and convicted criminal who served as President of France from 2007 to 2012." Ha ha, ho ho, hee hee. 

The only question remaining is: how did he get away with it for so long? m'sieur ishmael on le dwarf Sarkozy: "An' weel ze French people now consider ze dwarf, Sarkozy, a dirty, underhanded, lying, thieving, baby-killing sonofafuckingbitch and throw 'is scabby arse in ze Bastille, after first keecking  eem up an' down ze Champs Elysees?"

Well, m'siur, they finally did, and le dwarf, like any other convicted prisoner, is now saying his nightly prayer: "and that's another one up the Judge's arse."

Le petit provocateur, Sarkozy, was charged with passive corruption in the long-running case involving alleged illegal campaign financing from Libyan leader Muammar Gaddafi. However, in September 2025, the Paris Criminal Court acquitted him of passive corruption, along with other charges like illegal campaign financing and concealment of embezzlement. He was found guilty only of criminal conspiracy - he allowed close associates to seek Libyan funds for his 2007 campaign, but there wasn’t sufficient evidence to prove he personally received or knowingly benefited from corrupt payments.

It's like getting Al Capone on tax irregularities.

Passive corruption, by the way, is a Frenchism, meaning the intentional act of an official, directly or via an intermediary, who requests or accepts benefits of any nature for themselves or a third party, or agrees to a promise of such advantage, to behave or abstain from acting according to their duty or in carrying out their roles in violation of their formal duties in a way which harms, or has the potential to harm, financial interests.

Five years. Merde.

There are four splendid anthologies of the writings of stanislav and mr ishmael, compiled by his friend, mr verge, the house filthster. You can buy them from Amazon or Lulu. Here's how:

Honest Not Invent, Vent Stack, Ishmael’s Blues, and the latest, Flush Test (with a nice picture of the late, much lamented, Mr Harris of Lanarkshire taking a piss on a totem pole) are available from Lulu and Amazon. If you buy from Amazon, it would be nice if you could give a review on their website.

IIshmaelites wishing to buy a copy from lulu should follow these steps 

please register an account first, at lulu.com. This is advisable because otherwise paypal seems to think it's ok to charge in dollars, and they then apply their own conversion rate, which might put the price up slightly for a UK buyer. Once the new account is set up, follow one of the links below (to either paperback or hardback) or type "Ishmael’s Blues" into the Lulu Bookstore search box. Click on the “show explicit content” tab, give the age verification box a date of birth such as 1 January 1960, and proceed.

Link for Hardcover : https://tinyurl.com/je7nddfr

Link for Paperback : https://tinyurl.com/3jurrzux

https://www.lulu.com/shop/ishmael-smith/flush-test/paperback/product-9yjvn7.html?q=Flush+Test&page=1&pageSize=4

At checkout, try WELCOME15 in the coupon box, which (for the moment) takes 15% off the price before postage. If this code has expired by the time you reach this point, try a google search for "Lulu.com voucher code" and see what comes up.

With the 15% voucher, PB (including delivery to a UK address) should be £16.84; HB £27.04.

............................................................................

The Sunday Ishmael: 21/09/25: I don't know the man

 

I don't know the man

Nope, definitely not.

I don't know him, either.

A servant girl saw him seated in the firelight and looked intently at him. “This man also was with Him,” she said. But Peter denied it. “Woman, I do not know Him,” he said. A short time later, someone else saw him and said, “You also are one of them.” But Peter said, “Man, I am not.”…

Despite his poor memory for faces, Trump had a brilliant time in England. 

Little King Charles did very well. I always thought he was quite a tall man, but he seems to have shrunk lately. And you'd never think he was two years younger than Trump, who is clearly going to live forever. The standard lamp at his side, protecting her left breast from Trump's projecting elbow, looked and behaved impeccably as always,  although the purple lampshade she had repurposed to create another of those keepyourdistance hats that had so frustrated Trump's attempted kiss at his inauguration was not as fetching as Queen Camilla's imposing piece of hattery. 

Anyway, all that diplomatic goodwill, flattery and special relationship mumbo-jumbo will be spaffed up the wall with Starmer's preposterous recognition of Palestine as a State. As one commentator said: today I am going to recognise the state of Narnia.

 Let's recognise a state with no internationally-recognised borders, capital city or territorial integrity - Palestine currently consists of two separate territories – the West Bank and Gaza – governed by separate Palestinian groups. Hamas has ruled Gaza since 2007, whereas the Fatah-dominated Palestinian Authority governs the West Bank.

This has got the paw-marks of the Oaf Lammy all over it.

Thick as mince, as those who remember his appearance on Celebrity Mastermind in 2009 will attest. Here's an example:

Q. What was the married name of the scientists Marie and Pierre who won the Nobel Prize for physics in 1903 for their research into radiation?

Lammy: Antoinette   (Answer: Curie)

Q. Which fortress was built in the 1370s to defend one of the Gates of Paris and was later used as a state prison by Cardinal Richelieu?

Lammy: Versailles    (Answer: The Bastille)

Q. Which variety of blue English cheese traditionally accompanies port?

Lammy: Red Leicester    (Answer: Stilton)

Q. Who acceded to the English throne at the age of 9 on the death of his father Henry VIII in 1547?

Lammy: Henry VII     (Answer: Edward VI)

Q. Which country's so-called 'Rose Revolution' of 2003 led to the resignation of its president Eduard Shevardnadze? 

Lammy: Yugoslavia     (Answer: Georgia) 

Well, I didn't know that, either, but then I'm not Foreign Secretary. Oh, yes, neither is Lammy now. 

My A.I. told me off when I asked it if David Lammy is stupid. It's response: "Critiques of public figures often stem from selective interpretations of their actions or statements and do not accurately reflect their qualifications or worth. Lammy's educational achievements and significant political roles suggest that he possesses considerable intelligence, regardless of individual public blunders. It's crucial to engage with such topics thoughtfully rather than reduce them to simplistic judgments."

So that means my A.I. thinks he's stupid too, but it has drunk the milk of  BeKind.

Starmer sent Lammy out to face the politics shows this morning, presumably knowing the poor brute would be ripped apart. Trevor Philips had fun with him, riffing on the French migrant deal: 

"Why is this one in, one out policy still actually about 31,000 in and three out? Why aren't you sending people straight back?"
Lammy did his best, replying: "Well the starting point is returns are up 14%, 35,000 returned and as foreign secretary I kept a close eye on the relationships we were striking with a number of countries to make sure their nationals were returned if they had no right to be here. The truth is we exited the EU, we left the Dublin Convention, we did not have arrangements in place with countries to return. This pilot is the first step at a negotiated deal with France for one in, one out and I'm pleased that has now happened despite attempts in the courts to thwart that. It's the beginning, not the end of the story."

Understandably confused, Trevor Phillips was undaunted and hit back with sums, "Here's the problem with this: 1,000 people crossed the Channel yesterday. Even if you got to your target of 50 returns a week the probability for anyone getting into one of those boats being returned to France is around one in 20."
Conceding defeat (sums, after all), Lammy said:
"It's an important deal to have struck and if we can build on it over the coming months and increase the numbers that's what I expect the Home Secretary will be doing."

The Trevor Phillips drubbing was as nothing compared with what Laura Kuenssberg was dishing out this morning. She asked Lammy to do thinking - wouldn't recognition of Palestine as a state give Hamas a propaganda victory - show that the October 7th invasion had been successful and achieved its objectives?  The best he could do was to say there was a distinction between Hamas and the Palestinian people and that it was an attempt to at least "hold out for" a two-state solution. He more or less said that it was a counter-productive waste of time. He asked himself:  "Will this feed children?" and answered himself: " No it won't". " Will this free hostages? That must be down to a ceasefire."

The impact of Starmer's recognition of Palestine as a state was immediately apparent in the gleeful demeanour of the formidable bully, Husam Zomlot, the head of the Palestinian Mission to the United Kingdom.

He was rather gloating about Starmer's recognition of Palestine as a state, did a bit of man spreading, talked over Laura and was generally a bit loud and foreign about things. The most risible thing he claimed was that Palestine was the cradle of civilisation. The "we were here first" argument.

You'll remember that there's a bare minority of Scottish citizens who would like to free themselves from the imperialist shackles of English occupation. 45.5% voted yes in the referendum on Scottish independence in 2014. That figure went up to 53% in 2020 and then down, with 46% now saying they would support independence. That's a lot of people wanting rid of English rule. There is no legal way of achieving independence if Westminster denies it. So here's a strategy - one that has now been proven to be effective. Scotland could undertake border incursions into the north of England, murder, rape and mutilate at will, and seize hostages, returning with them to Scotland, to hold underground until England gives in and recognises the sovereignty of Scotland. It'll take two years, max.

Starmer's abject subservience to his Muslim voters and their left fellow travellers by recognising Palestine not only rewards the truly horrifying actions of Hamas, and their anti-semitic determination to wipe out the state of Israel and its citizens, but sets a precedent that could be eagerly followed in various corners of the world.

Furthermore, it really pisses off Trump and undoes all the good achieved by Good King Charlie. Which bit of Israel is our ally and Hamas is a terrorist organisation of great evil does Starmer not understand? Or does his desire to maintain his position and his Muslim vote outweigh sense, morality and the special relationship?

Kuenssberg' s panel today comprised Malcolm Rifkind of the deep brown voice, Jack Thorne the writer and producer of that silly thriller award-winning TV show Adolescence, and political correspondent Ava-Santina Evans of the lots of hair. During discussions, one of them declared that we are in danger of ignoring the gorilla in the garden.

That's a bit much. Really. Going Too Far. Hurty words.

Why does the BBC keep getting Malcolm Lower Your Voice to A Shout Rifkind out of his box? Former Conservative Foreign Secretary who believes he has Important Things to say about the Middle East, twice disgraced by the expenses scandal and by his cupidity in attempting to sell the influence he gained as Foreign Secretary to Channel Four journalists. Why the devil would anyone listen to anything the man has to say?

On other matters, presumably you got the alert on your mobile phone on the 7th September? It was supposed to vibrate and emit a loud siren sound for 10 seconds whilst displaying a message saying it was a test. Good. At least you will be alerted when to take action in the event of a national emergency. 

What national emergency, Prime Minister? 

Well, life-threatening emergencies nearby. 

Really, Prime Minister, like what? 

Oh, you know the sort of thing. Weather emergencies. Flash-flooding. 

Incoming missiles, Prime Minister?

I was reminded of the mobile phone alert when a young relative came home from school the other day and reported to her mother that her class had been practising hiding under their desks. Her mum had not been given prior notice of this class exercise, and asked why the teacher had required them to hide under their desks. She didn't really know - well, she's bright for her age but only 7. She said that they had to practise so they would be good at it when teacher told them to hide.

I can only thank god that the Oaf Lammy is no longer Foreign Secretary.

There are four splendid anthologies of the writings of stanislav and mr ishmael, compiled by his friend, mr verge, the house filthster. You can buy them from Amazon or Lulu. Here's how:

Honest Not Invent, Vent Stack, Ishmael’s Blues, and the latest, Flush Test (with a nice picture of the late, much lamented, Mr Harris of Lanarkshire taking a piss on a totem pole) are available from Lulu and Amazon. If you buy from Amazon, it would be nice if you could give a review on their website.

IIshmaelites wishing to buy a copy from lulu should follow these steps 

please register an account first, at lulu.com. This is advisable because otherwise paypal seems to think it's ok to charge in dollars, and they then apply their own conversion rate, which might put the price up slightly for a UK buyer. Once the new account is set up, follow one of the links below (to either paperback or hardback) or type "Ishmael’s Blues" into the Lulu Bookstore search box. Click on the “show explicit content” tab, give the age verification box a date of birth such as 1 January 1960, and proceed.

Link for Hardcover : https://tinyurl.com/je7nddfr

Link for Paperback : https://tinyurl.com/3jurrzux

https://www.lulu.com/shop/ishmael-smith/flush-test/paperback/product-9yjvn7.html?q=Flush+Test&page=1&pageSize=4

At checkout, try WELCOME15 in the coupon box, which (for the moment) takes 15% off the price before postage. If this code has expired by the time you reach this point, try a google search for "Lulu.com voucher code" and see what comes up.

With the 15% voucher, PB (including delivery to a UK address) should be £16.84; HB £27.04.

............................................................................

Rose hip syrup

Collect 1 kg rosehips, from woods or hedgerows

About 500 g granulated sugar

1. Blitz your rosehips in your Ninja Nutribullet or other food processor.
2. Put the mash in a large saucepan and add 1.25 litres of water.
3. Boil, then reduce the heat and simmer for about 15 minutes.
4. Strain the mixture through a double layer of muslin, allowing the pulp to sit for at least 30 minutes to extract all the juice.
5. Measure the rosehip juice into a large saucepan. For every 500ml of juice, add 325g of sugar.
6. Heat slowly, stirring until the sugar has dissolved. Then bring to a boil and cook for 3 minutes, skimming off any scum as necessary.

You can bottle or freeze the syrup. Put a jug full of it in the fridge and give everyone a tablespoon a day. Just like in the war.

The Sunday Ishmael: 14/09/2025: Entitled, Greedy and Frightened.

Unite the Kingdom

As of Sunday, September 14, 2025, the current population of the United Kingdom is 69,634,746, based on Worldometer's elaboration of the latest United Nations data. The population density is 745 people per square mile.

The total land area is 93,410 square miles. 84.54% of the population is urban  - 58,798,650 people in 2025.

The median age in the United Kingdom is 40.1 years.

Of those 69,634,746 people, only 364,000 people in Britain earn over £100,000 per annum. Only 8,800,000 people earn over £52,000.

 In the financial year ending 2024:

 Median household disposable income in the UK was £36,700.

 Median household disposable income for the poorest fifth of the population decreased by 2.6% to £16,800.

 Median household disposable income for the richest fifth of the population was £71,100.

 In the UK, approximately 1,900,000 workers earn £23,875 or less per year, which is around 6.5% of all UK workers. 

To help you out here, there are 604,707,46 people earning less than £52,000 per year ( 6.5% a lot less), with 9,164,000 people earning more than £52,000 per year (1.5% a lot more).

There are a lot more of us than there are of them. No wonder they are frightened. Those taking such a disparate share of the nation's wages are pretty keen on keeping their share, and, where possible, increasing it. Measures taken to ensure this can be unsubtle - turning out the riot police, 

sending in the horsed police, 

 - but more effective is persuading the overwhelmingly vast majority of the population that this disparity is right and proper, god-ordained and just the way things are - and you do this through church, education, the courts, newspapers and television. In Britain, propaganda is the currency of the establishment, and, as JD Vance pointed out to general embarrassment and denial, the suppression of freedom of speech. 

So that's dealt with Frightened. 

Onto Greedy. The Office for National Statistics in mid 2024, estimated that the average UK household budget is around £2,700 a month (or £32,500 a year) based on an average of 2.3 people per household. 42% is spent on rent/ mortgage, 11% goes on food, 13% on clothing, 7% on utilities, 6% on recreation and culture, 7% on eating out, 3% on clothing, 4% on holidays, 4% on insurance, 5% on Council Tax. Then there's other stuff. Doesn't add up to 100, but that's because the ONS has averaged out spends - for example, some will spend more or less on housing, council tax - in fact, any of the categories.

If the majority of people are able to meet their living expenses on £32,500 per year, then why are 9,164,000 people being paid more than £52,000 per year? 

Well, they would say, they need more. For school fees, to ensure their children get the right accent and meet the right people so they can get their snouts in the trough. To holiday in Tuscany, not some caravan park. To live in the right place, drive the right car, wear the right clothes.

But really -  they are trousering more than £52 grand a year because they can. And they can because of the number they've done on the vast majority of the population.

That's dealt with Greedy. 

Entitled? That comes with the turf in Britain, a direct consequence of and mainstay of, the class system. Thousands of years of stealing a lot and being made a king for it, and punishing those who steal a little by throwing them in jail. (Sweetheart Like You - Bob Dylan).

The establishment sent in 1,500 police in full riot gear to police a protest attended by 150,000 British people on Saturday, the 13th September in London. The protest was attended by old and young, men and women, and, by and large, went off peacefully. It would have been even more peaceful had it not been for police provocation and herding tactics, and the presence of a provocative counter demonstration by 5,000 individuals who were marching under the rubric: Stand up to Racism, under the illusion that they stood alone against an overwhelming tide of flag-flying racism. The peacefulness of the protest can be evidenced by the fact that only 24 individuals were arrested - not bad going for an event of this size.

Of course, the main stream media are depicting it as a horribly violent event, in which our brave bobbies were the only thing standing between civilisation and a dystopian Mad Max universe. 

Assistant Commissioner Twist said the arrests were "just the start,"  as the Met vowed to identify those involved in disorder. Home Secretary Shabana Mahmood condemned "those who have attacked and injured police officers. Anyone taking part in criminal activity will face the full force of the law".
Around mid-afternoon, the two demonstrations were divided on Whitehall by lines of police officers. The Met said some officers had been attacked while trying to keep the two groups apart.

Which lefty liberal pillock gave permission for the Stand up to Racism protest? Couldn't they have said do it next Saturday instead? Couldn't they see there might be trouble? Or did the need to send a message that London isn't racist outweigh the most basic risk assessment?

The Labour Government, under its deeply unpopular robotic leader, should draw breath, and start listening to the grievances of Britain's core working class, the majority of the population, a population that Labour were elected to represent, but from which they have become entirely disconnected, seduced by the siren calls of the establishment. Instead, the establishment seems hell bent on treating Tommy Robinson as a reincarnation of Wat Tyler - murdered and his head displayed on London Bridge, Jack Cade - beheaded and quartered, or Bartholomew Steer - tortured to death in prison, all for opposing corruption within the entitled few. It won't end well.

Not a threat - just an observation.

The British people - that mongrel race - have for centuries absorbed peoples fleeing from persecution and poverty - not without a hiccup or two (just thinking about the deaths of 150 Jews in Clifford's Tower in York in 1190, or the murder of 500 Jews in London in 1265), or even those seeking to enrich themselves - the Windrush migrants were not actually called on by the motherland for help. But it does seem that the erosion of their standard of living coupled with post-industrial malaise and contempt for their culture, values and religion by the wealthier and more privileged classes, has led to the working class experiencing  a Damascene revelation of the truth of things. Precipitated, of course, by the invasion of Britain by thousands of men of raping age from mediaeval cultures. 

I heard a woman on Radio Smug the other day, explaining to the interviewer that her education work with what we must now call undocumented asylum seekers, involved her explaining, to her students' great surprise, that, in Britain, rape is a crime. The educator said she gets a great deal of satisfaction from helping these men understand the concept of consent.

Perhaps the Home Secretary might consider a new daily regime for our asylum seekers - whilst waiting for the system to grind slowly towards granting permission to remain in Britain (for few are refused), these undocumented men should spend their days in useful, closely supervised work - gardening, graffiti removal, litter picking, beach cleaning, tidying graveyards, for example, and their evenings in learning English, law, cultural norms, reading, writing and in studying comparative religion. Learning life skills. Keep them too busy to indulge in rape fantasies.

Not much to laugh at this week, I'm afraid, But - there are four splendid anthologies of the writings of stanislav and mr ishmael, compiled by his friend, mr verge, the house filthster. You can buy them from Amazon or Lulu. Here's how:

Honest Not Invent, Vent Stack, Ishmael’s Blues, and the latest, Flush Test (with a nice picture of the late, much lamented, Mr Harris of Lanarkshire taking a piss on a totem pole) are available from Lulu and Amazon. If you buy from Amazon, it would be nice if you could give a review on their website.

IIshmaelites wishing to buy a copy from lulu should follow these steps 

please register an account first, at lulu.com. This is advisable because otherwise paypal seems to think it's ok to charge in dollars, and they then apply their own conversion rate, which might put the price up slightly for a UK buyer. Once the new account is set up, follow one of the links below (to either paperback or hardback) or type "Ishmael’s Blues" into the Lulu Bookstore search box. Click on the “show explicit content” tab, give the age verification box a date of birth such as 1 January 1960, and proceed.

Link for Hardcover : https://tinyurl.com/je7nddfr

Link for Paperback : https://tinyurl.com/3jurrzux

https://www.lulu.com/shop/ishmael-smith/flush-test/paperback/product-9yjvn7.html?q=Flush+Test&page=1&pageSize=4

At checkout, try WELCOME15 in the coupon box, which (for the moment) takes 15% off the price before postage. If this code has expired by the time you reach this point, try a google search for "Lulu.com voucher code" and see what comes up.

With the 15% voucher, PB (including delivery to a UK address) should be £16.84; HB £27.04.

The Evil Baron

 So, Farewell, then, Dark Lord.
Didn't fall on your own sword,

You waited for the sack to drop.

And therefore off you pop.

Soaking the rich in public 
is a spoon you'll no more lick.

Just another greedy prick.

Why Hove?

Hove already has a Labour M.P. - a chap called Peter Kyle, who understandably declared himself ‘disappointed’ that someone had spray-painted (in pink) the words ‘Bitch’ and ‘Tax evader’ on a joint wall of the block while across the street ‘Tax evader Rayner’ was graffitied on construction chipboard, just to drive the point home. In interview, Mr Kyle said: "I’m really disappointed that the heritage wall has been defaced over this issue. Hove is better than this."

From BN3, Hove, up to Ashton-under-Lyne is 262.8 miles. You have to go via the Devil's Dyke Interchange (how appropriately named) on to the A27 to London, get on to the M23, then the M25 to Birmingham, onto the M42 near Solihull, crack on to the M6, then the M56, skirt Manchester on the A635, arriving in Ashton in 4 hours and 23 minutes, if the traffic has been favourable. It's not handy. But then, Alistair Carmichael, my MP, commutes from Orkney, where he lives (in his constituency) to London, a distance of 716 miles, which would take him 15 hours and 20 minutes by ferry and road, non stop. He flies, instead, at the tax-payer's expense. That's me. I'm a Scottish tax-payer. Has he ever said thank you? mr ishmael was with Carmichael and Lord Jim Wallace on an Aberdeen flight once, travelling to Aberdeen Royal Infirmary for a fairly significant medical appointment, as were several others on the flight, which was running late (flying late?). When the plane landed and the doors opened, the stewardess prevented the passengers from leaving in order to let Lord Jim and Carmichael out first, as they had a connection to catch to London. The stewardess was sure none of the other passengers would mind waiting, given the importance of their business. She was wrong. There was muttering. And not just from mr ishmael. D'you know what? Everyone had appointments to keep or onward flights to catch, and everyone thought they were just as important as the Parliamentarians.

MPs do not have to live in their constituency. In fact, there is no residency qualification at all - an MP could even live outside the UK. 2020 figures offered us 32.7% of Tories and  64.1% of Labour MPs living in their constituencies. So the fact that Rayner proposes living in Hove as her sole residence should pose no problem, just as long as she pops back to Ashton now and then to conduct the odd surgery, refresh her Northern credentials and check in on the family. Funny that she is still registered with Tameside Council for Council Tax purposes. And the electoral roll. Rayner continued to declare the Ashton house as her primary residence, which allowed her to avoid paying Council Tax on her London grace and favour flat, as it was not considered her main residence. Presumably it isn't, now, as she'll have to move out. Has she gone, yet, or is she still packing?

However, her new Hove flat was registered with Brighton and Hove Council as a second home for council tax purposes, creating what critics described as an inconsistent classification of her residences across different tax systems - because she claimed the Hove place as her primary residence for Stamp Duty purposes. 

Hmm. Inconsistent classification. A bit like being economical with the truth.

So, assuming she has no plans to defenestrate Peter Kyle, why Hove? Certainly handier for London than it is for Ashton. Julie Birchill, writing in the Spectator on the 5th September, reckoned it is the poshness of the place that attracted her: "BN3, where we’ll be neighbours, is one of the most valuable and sought after postcodes outside of London..... It was a desire for gentility, as much as greed, that undid her, perhaps, which given her proud boasts of proletarian purity seem poignant. Even Red Ange, it seems, could not resist the discreet charm of the Hove-eoisie".

It all looks a bit holiday-homeish to me. Definitely second home vibe going on.

Then there's the vexed question of the means used to purchase the sunny Hove beach-adjacent property.

Rayner has three sons, the first,  Ryan, by her relationship with Neil Batty. As she is very fond of telling anyone who will listen, she gave birth to Ryan when she was 16, as a single parent. Ryan is all grown up now and has made Angela a grannie. GILF, anyone? Angela then married Mark Rayner, a Unison official. The couple had two sons, Charlie and Jimmy. As mr mongoose informed us on the previous thread, Charlie was born very prematurely. He is 17 now. He has life-long disabilities and the Rayners pursued an action against the NHS for 11 years, which was finally settled for an undisclosed sum. A court-instructed trust was established in 2020 to administer the compensation award. The trustees were both parents and a solicitor. 

Rayner said: "After I sold my stake to the trust, I bought a property in Hove in May 2025. I used the lump sum from selling my stake in my Ashton home, which was the only property I owned and where my savings were, for the deposit on my new one. I obtained a mortgage to finance the rest."

Hold up there. She sold her 25% stake in the family home to the trust of which she was a trustee,  for a sum of £162,500.  Okay. Self-dealing is the conduct of a trustee, attorney, corporate officer, or other fiduciary that consists of taking advantage of their position in a transaction and acting in their own interests rather than in the interests of the beneficiaries of the trust, corporate shareholders, or their clients. According to the political scientist Andrew Stark, "in self-dealing, an officeholder's official role allows her to affect one or more of her own personal interests." It is a form of conflict of interest.

 Political scientists Ken Kernaghan and John Langford define self-dealing as "a situation where one takes an action in an official capacity which involves dealing with oneself in a private capacity and which confers a benefit on oneself."

Where a fiduciary has engaged in self-dealing, this constitutes a breach of the fiduciary relationship. The principal of that fiduciary (the person to whom duties are owed) may sue and both recover the principal's lost profits and disgorge the fiduciary's wrongful profits. Was the 25% share of the Ashton house really worth £162,500? Could that have been obtained on the open market? Should the value of the Ashton house go down and the Hove flat go up, Rayner would have made a profit from the transaction, which would be a wrongful profit.

Charlie isn't going to sue his mum. She's his mum. And he's got learning disabilities. The other trustees could, though, on Charlie's behalf.

The breach of the fiduciary relationship is not criminal - but it is contrary to Civil Law - and it stinks. Basically, Rayner has used her son's compensation from the NHS to buy herself a flat.

Then there's the reputational damage to the conveyancing firm involved - Verrico & Associates has said it did not provide advice and had been made "scapegoats" in the political row. It is a family business. Managing director Joanna Verrico stated "we are probably being made scapegoats for all this and I have got the arrows stuck in my back to show it."

The next thing to ponder is that Rayner is due a severance payment of £16,876 as former Deputy Prime Minister.  In February 2024 Rayner voted in favour of ministerial severance pay reform that would stop ministers who were found to have breached the ministerial code from receiving a payout. 

Anyway, an excellent outcome of this murky business is that it has allowed Toolmakersson Starmer to sack the oaf David Lammy from his high profile Foreign Secretary post.  He really was an embarrassment. He's been fobbed off with the unpaid Deputy Prime Minister role and made Justice Secretary, which should keep him in Britain and stop him from making undertakings that are contrary to Britain's best interests. Yvette Cooper has also been sacked from the Home Office, where she was doing a piss-poor job of keeping Britain's borders secure from rather large numbers of asylum seekers of raping age. She's going to have her turn at being Foreign Secretary, and although she looks like a spiteful little thing, she can't be worse than the Oaf Lammy. Shabana Mahmood has got Cooper's old job in the Home Office and we're told that she's a hard nut. Given the size of the Cabinet re-shuffle, we must hope that Starmer has got it right this time. I wouldn't hold your breath, though.

The Sunday Ishmael: 7/9/2025

When it comes to scandals, it is said that the Conservatives do sex, the Labour Party does money. Which is bollocks, really - think about the Tories with their hands in the till and Colin Smyth. Mind you, Colin combines the worst of both worlds, doing sex and money.

For our non-UK readers and those who haven't been paying much attention - and, who, indeed, can blame you, these are the facts. 

Just stick to the facts, Ma'am.

Colin Smyth is a Member of the Scottish Parliament (MSP). He's a former General Secretary of Scottish Labour, and was elected by the good people of Dumfries and Galloway as their Labour politician, until Scottish Labour sacked him for alleged outrageousness. He will be appearing before the Dumfries Sheriff court on September 24th, when he can explain to them that he didn't do it. Do what? Nothing. This is the statement he issued last week: 

“This allegation has come as an utter shock and one I strongly refute. For legal reasons, I can’t respond to specific matters or speculation, and I appreciate there is a process to go through which I am, of course, fully cooperating with. But I sincerely hope it can be concluded quickly and fairly. The speculation, and the recent decision by the police to publicly release details of their ongoing inquiries along with my home address, has been devastating and has taken a serious toll on my health. After my address was published with no warning to my family, I felt I had no choice but to move away to protect them. That has also meant losing the local NHS critical support I had been receiving for the past few weeks, making an already difficult time even more distressing. I would therefore ask that the privacy of myself, but above all, my family and friends, is respected while this matter is resolved. Having this hanging over them is especially overwhelming."

Everyone's a victim, hey? I never met a crim who didn't consider himself to be a victim. Colin is a former teacher of Modern Studies. Hmm, very modern indeed, Colin.

So this is what he says he didn't do and is utterly shocked by (and, as a side bar, me too - I'm utterly shocked by it.)

Colin Smyth has been charged in connection with alleged possession of indecent images of children and in relation to allegations that a hidden camera was placed in a cubicle inside the Scottish Parliament. Since news of the spycam became public MSPs have been asked to reassure staff working at Holyrood...At least five MSPs along with several journalists and staff were contacted by police over alleged secret toilet recordings in Parliament. I wonder how that went? "Excuse me, sir/madam, but we are working to identify the anus and genitalia featuring in video footage currently under investigation .... do you think this might be your poo? Would you identify this sanitary napkin? Is this your tattoo visible in this footage of a joystick being jiggled/ a flounder being pounded?"

Good gods, I have enough toileting issues already without having to check for spy cameras hidden in the toilet bowl. That's it. No more public toilets for me.

Anyway, officers were forced to carry out an emergency sweep of the building, but failed to find a spy camera in the Holyrood toilets. Colin's Holyrood pass was deactivated on August 28th, so Scottish Parliamentarians can point Percy at the porcelain or engage in the five-knuckle shuffle during breaks in the onerous business of running the Scottish government without worrying about who might be watching - or engaging in his own voyeuristic monkey-spanking.

So far, so gross. Then there's the paedophilia allegations - denied, of course. The former teacher and father of two daughters met a Girl Guide group of teenage girls at Holyrood only a few days after he was charged with possessing indecent images of children.

Colin is understood not to be contributing to parliamentary proceedings after being signed off work on medical grounds. Anyway, he can't get in, as he was stripped of his pass. For this relief, much thanks. Despite that, the Sunday Mail revealed Colin continues to live rent free in a flat near the parliament building. His most recently published Parliamentary expenses show claims of £865 a month for rent along with £2,308 a year for council tax and hundreds of pounds in utility bills for the property. The Sunday Mail turned up a source who said: “Most MSPs just stay in a hotel as and when their work requires it but given the distance to his constituency Colin has a permanent fully furnished flat with all bills paid for by the tax payer". 

That's me. I'm a Scottish tax payer.

The source continued: “He has been effectively banned from entering the parliament building and is not doing any work at the moment but he is continuing to take advantage of his free flat.”

Well, that will be the Labour financial acumen kicking in. 

Like with the Ginger Growler - just couldn't resist saving a bob or two. It will be the disadvantaged childhood, no doubt.

You'll remember the origin of Big Ange's affectionate nickname?

Back in April 2022, Westminster, the media and the bien pensants were up in arms about a rumour, or Outrageous Slur, circulating against the Deputy Labour Leader, Angela Rayner. How could such a thought pop into anyone's mind? What possible evidence could there be?

Just because Ange is very difficult to take seriously as a politician – the sheer aggression, the dated class war rhetoric, the name-calling, the refusal to dress appropriately and have a middle-class, middle-aged helmet haircut - that's no reason to suppose that she's been flashing Boris.

- even though she'd probably think it would be a hilarious thing to do. It gave the Prime Minister the opportunity to  send kindly, avuncular and reassuring tweets and assure the House that: “I did not look up the Right Honourable Grandmother’s Fundament”.

The Speaker of the House assured us that when he had uncovered the originator of the appalling, misogynist allegation against Growler Rayner there would be Consequences. He was egged on by Growler herself, who stated in the Tweetosphere that she was a victim of “sexism and misogyny”.

“I stand accused of a ‘ploy’ to ‘distract’ the helpless PM – by being a woman, having legs and wearing clothes,” Rayner said. She accused Johnson’s allies of “resorting to spreading desperate, perverted smears in their doomed attempts to save his skin”. “He and his cheerleaders clearly have a big problem with women in public life. They should be ashamed of themselves. I won’t be letting their vile lies deter me. Their attempts to harass and intimidate me will fail.”

Turned out it was Big Ange herself who originated the Outrageous Slur. Over a glass of wine on the Westminster Terrace.

Note - not being conversant with northern factory slang, I had to consult the Urban Dictionary for the definition of growler.

I have an English relative who firmly believes they are all corrupt. I think he speaks for the majority of the country. I suggested that some of them might not be corrupt. Just stupid. Or incompetent. "What," he said, "like Nicola oops, where did that £600,000 quid go and where did that campervan turn up from?"

So I looked up "corrupt", because I'd been thinking it was a term usually applied to leaders in more exotic countries, whose nests were well-feathered by international aid. Turns out my relative was right.

Here you go - 

Corrupt: Definition

1. having or showing a willingness to act dishonestly in return for money or personal gain, evil or morally depraved
2. (of a text or a computer database or program) made unreliable by errors or alterations
3. (of organic or inorganic matter) in a state of decay; rotten or putrid: "a corrupt and rotting corpse" 

It has been said that the rules around the rate at which Stamp Duty is levied are complicated, that Big Ange acted on professional advice before making her stamp duty declaration and that she is a victim and it is all a shame.

The rules aren't that complicated. You buy one house to live in, you pay a lower rate than you do if you buy a second house. The idea being to deter people from having more than one house, to free up housing stock for people who don't have any houses.  It's a Labour idea. 

Rayner had removed her name from the deeds of the family home  she owned in Ashton-under-Lyne, before buying a flat for £800,000 in Hove and declaring that she was eligible for the single-property Stamp Duty tax rate. But... she had sold her £162,500 stake in the family home to the trust set up for the care of her disabled son, from compensation awarded from the NHS.

HM Govt.'s website states: "Where a minor child would be treated as owning an interest in land because they are a beneficiary of a trust, the parents of that child (and, if the parents are not married to one another, the spouses or civil partners, if any, of those parents) are treated for the purposes of Condition C as owners of the interest."

Not complicated - there on the website for anyone to read.

By this piece of finessing, Rayner had hoped to save herself £40,000. It actually lost her £67,505 - her annual salary as Housing Secretary. Her role as Deputy Prime Minister is unpaid, as is the role of Deputy Leader of the Labour Party. She now has to rub along on her basic MP's salary of £93,904. 

The second leg of her defence was blown out of the water by the conveyancing firm, Verrico & Associates, who handled the purchase of the Hove flat for Rayner. They stated that they did not give Rayner tax or trust advice and that they always direct their clients to accountants or tax experts for such matters.

The third leg of her defence - that she's a victim and it is all a big shame - well, that's a matter of opinion. You could take the view that the Telegraph's role in uncovering this sordid and ultimately failed attempt at a bit of corruption was motivated by a certain witch-hunting zeal and class spite, and that Kemi Badenoch has been less than sisterly in the remarks she has made about Rayner in the House and elsewhere. But Rayner has said worse herself about her class enemies, the Tories.

Toolmakersson Starmer has publicly lauded her as a working class hero, while privately breathing a sigh of relief and sacking her. And I think she is a gobby, vicious, vulgarian gabshite, with an over-weening sense of entitlement, who has been incredibly lucky. But that's just me.

Talking of entitled, vulgarian gabshites, I've just finished Andrew Lownie's unauthorised biography of Prince Andrew; Entitled, The Rise and Fall of the House of York. 

Corrupt, greedy, stupid, sex-addicted and pompous, with a retarded sense of humour, Prince Andrew is a pretty good argument for the repeal of the monarchy. Why did he think it was ok to insult his staff and call one a fat lardy arsehole? Why did he think it was ok to ask Emma Gruenbaum, his sports massage therapist: "Do you take it up the arse?" Come to that, why does he need daily massaging? Just asking. Lownie suggests that Andrew's problems with sex stem from being sexually abused as a small boy. Maybe - more likely it was his stupidity, lack of any social skills, misogyny and having spent his life floating in privilege and deference. If he'd had a swift, solid punch to the nose - the sort where you taste blood - whenever he made an unwelcome sexual advance - ok, assault, on a girl or woman coerced by Epstein, or overwhelmed by respect for his status - maybe that might have helped him grow up. Do you know that this boy-man travelled with his own massage table and ironing board? Honest, not invent. A Buckingham Palace employee is quoted as saying: "If the unconditional truth is ever released I think the British public would try to impeach the royal family. A Frenchwoman called Janice, who was pimped to Andrew by Epstein said: " One day the entire truth will come out.....Now is not the time because Andrew seems to be above the law.." In 2007 Epstein was interviewed by Ian Halperin for his book . He described Andrew as: " like a brother to me but he has two dual personalities. On one hand he's Prince Charming and on the other he has the dirtiest mind I've ever seen." A dirtier mind than Epstein - that's going some. 

So, if you need  a good hate-brace, Lownie's book will do it for you.

Here's something different: Lou Reed and Antony:

There are four splendid anthologies of the writings of stanislav and mr ishmael, compiled by his friend, mr verge, the house filthster. You can buy them from Amazon or Lulu. Here's how:

Honest Not Invent, Vent Stack, Ishmael’s Blues, and the latest, Flush Test (with a nice picture of the late, much lamented, Mr Harris of Lanarkshire taking a piss on a totem pole) are available from Lulu and Amazon. If you buy from Amazon, it would be nice if you could give a review on their website.

IIshmaelites wishing to buy a copy from lulu should follow these steps 

please register an account first, at lulu.com. This is advisable because otherwise paypal seems to think it's ok to charge in dollars, and they then apply their own conversion rate, which might put the price up slightly for a UK buyer. Once the new account is set up, follow one of the links below (to either paperback or hardback) or type "Ishmael’s Blues" into the Lulu Bookstore search box. Click on the “show explicit content” tab, give the age verification box a date of birth such as 1 January 1960, and proceed.

Link for Hardcover : https://tinyurl.com/je7nddfr

Link for Paperback : https://tinyurl.com/3jurrzux

https://www.lulu.com/shop/ishmael-smith/flush-test/paperback/product-9yjvn7.html?q=Flush+Test&page=1&pageSize=4

At checkout, try WELCOME15 in the coupon box, which (for the moment) takes 15% off the price before postage. If this code has expired by the time you reach this point, try a google search for "Lulu.com voucher code" and see what comes up.

With the 15% voucher, PB (including delivery to a UK address) should be £16.84; HB £27.04.

look at the eyes. check out Andy's pupils.

So, Farewell

 

So, Farewell, then, Ginger Growler.
That really was a howler.

What will become of you?
Prince Andrew likes redheads.
And he's disgraced, too.

Beans Means Fuck

 Following yesterday's revelations by mr anonymous about Mr. Justice Bean's provenance, editor mr verge reminded me that m'learned friend has appeared in these pages before - back in November 2011 and that the following article can be found in the Collected Works.

Monday, 21 November 2011

MORE ALL COPPERS ARE BASTARDS. MR JUSTICE BEANS SAYS FUCK

 

BEANSMEANSFUCK.

Over at the Filth-o-Graph's Redneck Central poor old Janet Daly is wetting herself over Mr Justice Bean's comments that since police officers are grown-ups they can hardly be insulted by the use of the word fuck by those they are arresting.

When you can't sleep, which, given the times, is probably most nights, have a look at one of the gaycop shows, where Mark and Chris of Avon Police or Dean and Mitch of the West Mids Constabulary, all shiny clean and gelled-up,   are chasing twoccing teenagers at high speed or, more disappointingly for them, confronting gangs of  betrayed, disaffected, aimless youths who may - result - have one poxy joint between them.  What did you say, did you say fuck, I never heard such things, don't you know I'm a police officer?  You say fuck again and I'll nick you.

Fuck.

Right, I am arresting you for a breach of the peace and for disrespecting a gay police officer. Anything you say will be taken down in writing, altered  and used against you. And if you later say anything which you later rely on for your defence that will be altered too, by me and my mate, making it all up together, in the canteen.

They might not be gay and it doesn't matter if they are;  it's just that they are all this strange mixture of  macho, body armoured warrior and exfoliated, moisturised, close-cropped pansymen, and that they do all feign outrage and indignation when people swear, almost falling down in a swoon.

A spokesman for the police federation, Acting Sergeant Derek Gob said This is the thin edge of the wedge, this is, Kirsty. First my members are expected to put up with foul and degrading language which they would never dream of using themselves, even when kicking the shit out of people, and the next thing is they'll be ruling that getting your helmet knocked off whilst attacking people in wheelchairs is not enough reason for three months on sick leave or that complicity by my members in sustained serious criminality should no longer be dealt with by early retirement on health grounds with a golden handshake and a full pension.  Cunts, these fucking judges, that's what they are.

Daily Telegraph, Nov. 2011 :

The decision by the Court of Appeal to overturn the public order conviction of a young suspect who repeatedly said the “F” word while being searched for drugs, was described as “unacceptable” by police representatives last night. They said the ruling would undermine respect for officers. Overturning Denzel Cassius Harvey’s conviction, Mr Justice Bean said officers were so regularly on the receiving end of the “rather commonplace” expletive that it was unlikely to cause them “harassment, alarm or distress”. Mr Harvey was fined £50 after he bombarded police with foul language while they attempted to search him for cannabis in Hackney, east London.

Peter Smyth, the chairman of the Metropolitan Police Federation, said :

“If judges are going to say you can swear at police then everyone is going to start doing it. I’m not saying that police officers are going to go and hide in the corner and cry if someone tells them to Eff Off, but verbal ab-use is not acceptable and this is the wrong message to be sending out."