Sunday, 15 August 2021

The Sunday Ishmael 15/08/21

 
I'm indebted to Cettina Vicenzino for this neat illustration of the sexualised Sicilian rice ball.

Catania is Sicily's second largest city, on the east coast, at the base of Mount Etna. Catania's rice balls are called arancino (plural arancini) - they are pointed and therefore male, of course.  The city of Palermo is over 2,700 years old and is in the northwest of Sicily, by the Gulf of Palermo in the Tyrrhenian Sea. Palerma's rice balls are rounded, therefore feminine, and are called arancina (plural arancine).
This is a male quick release coupling:

This is a female coupling:

The fact that there are two sexes is so embedded in human beings that we designate rice balls and fittings as male or female, on the basis of their shape. We all understand this. Society is organised on the basis that men and women form pair bonds in which children are conceived through an act in which an adult male ejaculates semen into an adult woman's vagina, it swims like crazy into her womb, lashing its little tail, penetrates the woman's egg, to form a zygote which becomes an embryo, which, if lucky, will become a viable baby and grow into an adult, nurtured by the man and woman who created it, and go on to form a pair bond of his or her own, and the whole merry dance continues through the gene-erations.

How can this simple arrangement, which has brought us successfully through millennia, have gone so wrong in this year of grace, 2021?
The Plymouth tragedy, in which six people died unnecessarily, is horrifying. The blame currently seems to be laid on the shoulders of the police, and undoubtedly, had the perpetrator not had a shotgun to hand when he was overwhelmed by whatever it was that ailed him, maybe the loss of life wouldn't have been as great as it was. However, young Jake Davison could have armed himself with or without a gun license. Jake himself, seems to have laid the blame for his angst at the feet of his mother, as so many do when a child disappoints, in that she was his first victim. He, of course, was his own final victim. He was a troubled soul. Maybe he would still have been troubled had the internet never existed, but in a less technologically sophisticated age, his expectations of sexual fulfillment might never have been so unrealistically enhanced, he might never have found a friendship group who shared unrealistic grievances about women, and he might have settled down with a homely, ordinary young woman, had a couple of kids and lived a humdrum sort of life of everyday happiness. Or he might have turned into the village eccentric, muttering to himself and not washing. Either way, he would have lived beyond age 22. And five other people would have been able to live out their allotted span.
Back when I was in the criminal justice trade, I worked with a forensic psychologist (forensic (adjective): relating to or denoting the application of scientific methods and techniques to the investigation of crime). Amongst many other interesting bits and pieces, he was of the opinion that the male urge to seek arousal was the driver behind major technological inventions: developments in portraiture to create realistic images through such devices as the camera obscura, the printing press, the Mutoscope, (What the Butler Saw machines), photography, film, television, and, supremely, the computer and the world wide web.
I used to work with sex offenders who, decades ago, had to laboriously create their own portfolios of titillatory materials from photos taken at kiddy sports days and by tearing pictures out of the children’s underwear section of Littlewood’s catalogues. Top shelf magazines (so called because they were supposedly out of the eye-line of a child) in newsagents shops contained images that would be considered tame these days, when more explicit material is available on main stream TV. If they had access to cities, they could visit sex shops in dodgy areas, where they could request material from Amsterdam. All this, though, required effort, and the ever present difficulty of hiding the stash from censorious parents, appalled wife or curious children.


The internet changed the game. Mainstream pornography sites have made the search for masturbatory images very easy. They have normalised such behaviour. The BBC (other television channels are available and almost as culpable) seems committed to an agenda of grooming the nation. The threshold of what is normal has changed. Yes, there are some men who have always preferred masturbating to images of children and abused women, but the internet has drawn some men into more and more extreme and aberrant masturbatory material. It is an escalating pathway. It leads to flawed thinking by some men who see explicit depictions of attractive women engaged in orgasmic behaviours and conclude that this is normal, usual and why the hell aren't I getting any of that? Internet friends in Incel groups encourage such thinking. As we saw in Plymouth, the consequences are shattering. I've never been a bloke and I don't intend becoming one, so how on earth can I know how it feels to be a sexually frustrated man? But in working with sex offenders, the distinction between need and desire should be made. One needs food and water to sustain life. Lack of sex does not cause death. Unless encouraged by an Incel group.

The escalating pathway of abusive images, according to Michael Sheath, who works at the Lucy Faithfull Foundation, for the rehabilitation of offenders, leads from the conflation of easy access to hardcore and deviant pornography, to an interest in child molestation. "The link is unambiguous.”
Rob Jones, director of threat leadership at the National Crime Agency, stated: “The prevalence on the open web of images of child sexual abuse – and the use of the web to groom and livestream abuse – represents a crisis for modern society.” The police UK database of known child abuse images has 17 million unique entries, and is growing by 500,000 images every two months. Around 850 people, mainly men, are arrested each month in England and Wales for downloading indecent images or grooming children online. That is 10,200 per year - compared with 2010, when there were only 407.
Am I wrong to suggest that masturbating to images of adult women can lead to an interest in the sexual abuse of children? Maybe the unholy triumvirate of Epstein, Maxwell and Windsor could help us out with that question.


Here's some thoughts from mr ishmael on such matters:
 
.......JUST ANOTHER DREAMER, DREAMING ABOUT EVERYMAN. 26/6/2016

For most of my life I have staunchly advocated the rights of people to fuck as they choose or are impelled to do, acting within whatever is the current law. I am mindful that such a posture can be seen as endorsing an over-reach of the criminal law, already pernicious and invasive, and that we should assume goodness on the part of all and leave people to do as they please; there is, however, a host of reasons for us policing sexual conduct, we need only look to the Harriet Harman paedophile scandal, a time in recent memory when cynical men found -were given - opportunity to romanticise and dignify cruel perversion, to bring it under the Rights banner, to have its cause championed by a squalid elite, that there should have been permitted to exist an organisation called the Paedophile Information Exchange is now almost unbelieveable - that it now seems monstrous is not due to legislators, some - at least some - of whom were and remain fellow-travellers but to victims and campaigners on their behalf; Harriet Harman would have seen all the children buggered, the ghastly, hideous Leon Brittan would lose the evidence, Margaret Thatcher and the Prince of Wales would cuddle the perpetrators; the Churches would - and still do - protect the culprit and slander the victim.

I mention this staggering, national, institutionalised criminality because that's what I voted against, the other day.* I voted against Filth, so, too, I suspect, did millions of others.

I don't give a fuck about Europe, I rarely go and even when I do I live in a land where I am no longer citizen but citizen-suspect and so travel to anywhere is an ordeal of suspicion and bullying and hostility. In or out of Europe my masters presume me guilty of something.

The same people - the Harmans, the Straws - those who embraced the Paedophile Information Exchange now make me suspect in my own land, the repulsive, impertinent cocksuckers of Satan. The same people who nourished alien child-grooming gangs, people like Mr Jack Bribes'n'Torture and Mr Dennis the Crook McShane, call me reactionary and ill-informed.

I don't give a fuck about trade, either. I know about trade, I have traded, I know how to make a profit; people will do it, they always have, when its prohibited, for fuck's sake, people smuggle. People want goods and services, other people want to provide them, in that process value is added, taxation raised, services provided. If the Sultans of Brussels restrict UK trade with member states, if they impede the exporting of BMWs to the UK, they'll be hung from the lamp posts, their balls in their mouths.

Trade is civilisation, now unelected bureaucrats and buffoons like Obama sternly threaten that civilisation, threaten livelihoods and public services, cheeky cunts. Obama can't stop hundreds of tonnes of cocaine being shipped-in to America's rich, thousands of tonnes of hash coming over the border or being grown at home and yet he wants to punish somebody who makes widgets in West Bromwich, somebody should punch him in his stupid, stuttering gob, kick his scrawny arse up and down Pennsylvania Avenue. I voted against Obama, the other day, too.

I read a comment thread in the Guardian, the other day, about fragrance, they didn't call it fragrance, just perfumes and deodorant. The NewPeople, it seems, are incensed by perfumes on the tube, in which, daily, they go about their angry lives. It's gonna kill them all, people wearing scent. It should be made illegal. Walking through airport perfume retailers just quite ruins their experience. They really were raging and drooling. (Me, I try them all, at the airport, I love fragrances, light ones, heavy ones. I like the good, old ones the most - Chanel, Guelain, Dior - but I like some of the newer ones, too, Calvin Klein and Boss, all the various Obsessions and Poisons, quite makes my journey, sniffing and testing nice smells. Not these joyless, prohibitive bastards who read the Guardian, y'know, thinking it still is the Guardian.) Recently, in Aberdeen Hospital, an older, lady phlebologist came to take a blood sample, I knew her of old, I think she may be a bit deaf, has a minor speech impediment, like deaf people sometimes do, and I really, really like her. Gosh, I said, tentatively, that perfume's nice, what is it? She laughed to herself and eventually said - It's one of my husband's aftershaves, it's an expensive one, but he doesn't like it, doesn't wear it, so I do. It's alright for pushing this trolley up and down hospital corridors. I laughed out-loud, saying, that's the sorta thing I'd do, too, and it is. Although I have lots of good stuff I very rarely wear any man cologne, coupla times a year, maybe, that's it, charity shop'll get a scented bonanza when I die, but I always like it when I do, nothing erotic about it, nothing seductive, I just like the smell, and the craft of the parfumier, and if mrs ishmael is putting some on I'll have a dab on my wrists, sniff it, through the day. Guardian readers, by a hundred to one, want perfumes banned in public places, their train journeys are made miserable by scent. Now, if I had to travel daily on one of those fucking subterranean cattle trains beloved of BoJo and Kahn the Kunt then other people's perfumes would be way down my list of grievances. I am nowhere near as clever as the average Guardian reader, even so, I am hundreds of miles from the nearest subway train system and if people can't stand the trains they should move to the country and live off their wits, only they haven't got any and thus witless prefer to find something which others enjoy and prohibit it. I voted against the Guardian, too, the other day, too, anyone who writes for it, anyone who supports it by occasional purchase or by subscription. Polly Toynbee? Gimme strength.

But I didn't come to talk about the Eurendum. mr bob doney offered his thanks for the endless commentary, here, of discouragement to our enemies and I thought I should say something about that because, inasmuch as my opinion matters more than another's, which it doesn't, that is not how I see it, this cyber streetcorner.

mr tdg sometimes obliquely challenges my assertions about and support for the people. Worlds, he reminds us, they rise and fall, this is all a speck in Time's eye; art, thought and culture, that is the stuff which matters, not tribal squabbles over who bestrides the dungheap and I am rightly reproved, even though I do hymn, often, those other things.

What the people want, according to any objective analysis of how Want is expressed and satisfied, is tat and pornography, bling and boobs; the best selling newspaper in the country succeeded because of its daily portrayal of teenage tits, the younger the better, and lies, filthy, disgusting lies, about everything, not just about Hillsbro. Rupert Murdoch and his McKenzie sluts - Trevor Kavanagh, Larry Lamb, Adam Lard, Kay Burley, Toilets Maguire, Andrew Pierce and notably the redneck playboy ancien, Andy Neil, have disfigured the nation, coarsened the public discourse, corrupted the police and ensnared the legislature. All this happened, though, because of and not despite the people, whose rights we have sought to strengthen and protect. Why do we bother, why do we celebrate the Eurendum result when, tomorrow, those who voted for departure would also vote for hanging, for castration, would genuflect before some braindead, crooked bullyboy foreign football manager?

Well, my response to my episodic self-scourging is to remind myself that things, for Everyman, at home and abroad for very man, have grown much better than they were when I was born.
* The United Kingdom European Union membership referendum, took place on 23 June 2016 in the United Kingdom (UK) and Gibraltar to ask the electorate whether the country should remain a member of, or leave, the European Union. The referendum resulted in 51.9% of the votes cast being in favour of leaving the EU.

A Question of Manners (an extract)

Bearing in mind that the Internet's major discourse is upon the subject of the digitised reproduction of largely degenerate and unhealthy, even dangerous and rightly illegal sexual activity, it seems, in any event, contradictory to be seeking, within the same medium, a lasting code or codes of conduct. PornoWeb, the final frontier. Whither manners, amid doggysex and wall-to-wall gangbanging?

Operation Delego was a major international law enforcement investigation which dismantled a paedophile ring that operated an invitation-only Internet site named Dreamboard featuring incentives for posting images of the violent sexual abuse of young children under twelve, including infants. Arrests were made in Canada, Denmark, Ecuador, France, Germany, Hungary, Kenya, the Netherlands, the Philippines, Qatar, Serbia, Sweden, Switzerland and the US. Only 72 charges were filed against the approximately 600 members of Dreamboard.

More Child Porn Isshoos 3/8/11


From Hiroshima and Nagasaki onwards, US foreign policy is an unending, kaleidoscopic snuff movie. In colonial wars and in covert operations GI Joe and psychobastard spooks from the CIA have distinguished themselves in genocide, torture, assassinations and chemical warfare, from My Lai to Abu Ghraib and Guantanamo Bay sanctimonious Bible-thumping klansmen have shrugged their Christian shoulders at crimes and abuses perpetrated in their names; successive presidents, leaders of the free world, as they delight in calling themselves, have insulated themselves from oversight and accountability, much less prosecution.

Led by the Torturing Attorney General, a gaggle of senior Uncle Sam law enforcers stood congratulating themselves yesterday for busting seventy or so nonces, worldwide, all of them fitting mr ptb's recent description - each member of the site, Dreamboat or some such, to retain his membership, had to upload new fresh images of him violently abusing children, preferably infants and the victims had to be in visible distress. One after another the bureaucrats praised each other, themselves, their staff, each other again and vowed that They can run but they can't hide. I don't know what fraction of a fraction of one per cent of hardcore nonces seventy constitutes but it'll be tiny to the point of invisibility. It's welcome, their capture, of course, but hardly a triumph and among fellow-travellers in nonce cyberspace it will make no difference whatsoever - these people are driven by a compulsion beyond reason - one would have thought that was self evident, even to the dummies at the Department of Justice. And there is another form of child pornography, as abusive as abusive can be, one in which the entire apparatus of Uncle Sam is brought to bear on defenceless children all around the world.
..............................................................
 

 

The developments in Afghanistan this week would have met with mr ishmael's unqualified approval. The Taliban has regained control of their country, from which they were ousted in 2001 by the Americans, following what they call 9/11 ( because they always put the date and the month in the wrong order). The Afghan government seems to have put up no opposition, so at least there has been minimal bloodshed, although there will be a cull of all the Western collaborators as the Taliban returns the country to their version of a pure Islamic state. The BBC is doing its level best to take us back into the war and occupation of Afghanistan, by whipping up sympathy for the plight of women who have rejected the Taliban's Islamic values  – we can only hope that the beeb does not prevail, and that the deal Biden struck with the Taliban holds. The influence of the BBC on shaping opinion is massive. And what are they up to? Instead of saying Thank Fuck that’s over,  reciting the statistics of dead and wounded, and the costs of being America’s lapdog in this 20 year war, they are wheeling out these totties who are wailing but we thought we were living in a Western democracy and now you’ve gone and abandoned us.

Had Britain been under occupation by a foreign power – say China – for 20 years, imagine the relief with which their withdrawal would be greeted, and how the quislings and collaborators with the occupying Chinese would be dealt with.  

Anyway, the War was long enough to be up there with the grand old history book wars:

  • the Hundred Years’ War: 1337 - 1453 - We fought the French
  • the Thirty Years War: 1618 -1648 - Big European bust up. We joined in a bit 
  • the Twenty Years War: 2001 - 2021- We helped America with their Operation Enduring Freedom. Estimated deaths in Afghanistan as a direct consequence of the war: 171,000 to 174,000 people. Long story short - we were worse than the Taliban. On the side of the Bad Guys again.

mr ishmael's essays today are:
 
 .......JUST ANOTHER DREAMER, DREAMING ABOUT EVERYMAN. 26/6/2016 
A Question of Manners  (an extract)
More Child Porn Ishoos                     drafted 3/8/11
 
 Answer to last week's crossword clue : Responsible Adult
 ..................................................

Both anthologies of the work  of mr ishmael and his young Polish friend, Stanislav, Plumb Cheap for You:  Honest Not Invent and Vent Stack - are available to purchase for mere money at Lulu or Amazon. It is cheaper to buy from Lulu. Here's how to buy your own copies: 

Please register an account with them first. This will save you a couple of quid, as going straight into the link provided below seems to make paypal think it's ok to charge in dollars, and apply their own conversion rate, which will put the price up slightly for a UK buyer. Once the new account is set up, follow our link; a pop-up box asks for age confirmation - simply set the date to (say) 1 January 1960, and proceed. (If you type the title, the anthology will not appear as a search result until the "show explicit content" box - found at the bottom left by scrolling down - has been checked.  You may also see the age verification box, as above, at this point.) 
 The full title is "Vent Stack love from stanislav" by ishmael smith, and the cover you'll see is red with white titles and a picture of Buster the Previous Blog Dog having a green thought in a green shade. 

Link for the paperback:

 https://www.lulu.com/en/us/shop/ishmael-smith/vent-stack/paperback/product-q8jzk2.html?page=1&pageSize=4

Or...

shorter link, which might make it easier if you wish to paste it into an email and tell a friend:

 https://tinyurl.com/naajavmu

 Honest, Not Invent is available in paperback or hardback.

Link for Hard Back : 

https://www.lulu.com/en/us/shop/ishmael-smith/honest-not-invent/hardcover/product-njr7vg.html

Link for Paper Back : 

https://www.lulu.com/en/us/shop/ishmael-smith/honest-not-invent/paperback/product-wq2kpg.html

At checkout, try PROWRITINGAID15, WELCOME15 or TREAT15 in the coupon box, which  takes 15% off the price before postage.  If this code has expired by the time you reach this point, try a google search for "Lulu.com voucher code" and see what comes up.  

With the 15% voucher, the book (including delivery to a UK address) should cost £10.89



 

Sunday, 8 August 2021

The Sunday Ishmael 08/08/2021

 Bo-Jo the Ho-Ho was up North again last week, snubbing Mrs. Fish's invitation for a chat, and stalwartly refusing to self-isolate despite being in close contact with a Covid positive person. That's probably because he knows the isolation gimmick was part of Project Fear and was all made-up-news-and-shit. And he's had it. and got better. He only stayed two days, fortunately for the popularity of the Conservatives in Scotland: in fact, it is amazing that he ventured north at all, given his near death experience during his Scottish holiday in Applecross last summer, with his baby, his dog Dilyn and some random teenage boy, here pictured holding the prime ministerial dog:
In news hot off the press, the nation was told that BoJo went paddleboarding out to sea a year ago. WrongWay Johnson's protection officers swam out to rescue him, but he rescued himself. A nation mourns.
Prime Minister Doesn't Drown.
Unlike the prime minister who did drown. Or something.  On 17 December 1967, Harold Holt, the Australian Prime Minister, disappeared while swimming in the sea near Portsea, Victoria. He liked swimming. His wife, Zara, reckoned he enjoyed his swimming tripettes as it allowed him to spend time with his mistresses, one of whom, Marjorie Gillespie, was on the beach being impressed by her 59 year old lover's swimming ability, when he disappeared under the waves and was never seen again by Australians. A popular explanation for his disappearance was that he was a lifelong spy for the People's Republic of China, that he faked his own death in order to defect to China and was collected by frogmen who swam him safely to a waiting submarine. Zara dismissed this theory on the grounds that her husband didn't like Chinese food. Another theory had it that he had committed suicide, because things were not going well politically. Zara (really getting to like this Zara) said that he was "too selfish" to commit suicide. In 1968 The Sunday Observer reported that Holt had been assassinated by the CIA because he intended pulling Australia out of Vietnam (any thoughts on that, Zara?)  In August 2005, State Coroner  Johnstone opened a formal inquest and concluded that Holt had drowned and been eaten by the fishes. Despite that, Australian rhyming slang commemorates the conspiracy theories in the phrase to do a Harold Holt  (to bolt). And this has to be the most fabulous piece of irony:

 
Orkney, being an archipelago, has lots of beaches and lots of sea. This fellow, with his thousand year  stare, forever gazes out to sea:
This totem pole was made from a huge log of driftwood, sculpted by a local artist  and erected near the northern  end of the fourth Churchill Barrier in 2002. It is peppered with bullet holes and crowned by a Viking helmet. In March 2017, vandals attempted to uproot it, by putting a chain round it and pulling it out using a vehicle, leaving it less than erect:
It was soon restored.

 Glossary:
 
SAGE     Scientific Advisory Group for Emergencies: It provides scientific and technical advice to support government decision makers during emergencies. Its acronym suggests wisdom. It has the following subgroups:
SPI-B      Scientific Pandemic Insights Group on Behaviours: It provides advice aimed at anticipating and helping people adhere to interventions that are recommended by medical or epidemiological experts.  Think Nudge Theory. Think Clapping for Heroes.
SPI-M     Scientific Pandemic Insights Group on Modelling: it advises government on infectious disease modelling and epidemiology.
PHE         Serology Working Group: provides oversight on sero-epidemiology on the extent of transmission of SARS-CoV-2 and its changes.
CO-CIN   Covid -19 Clinical Information Network: it collates information from the health care records of all admissions to UK hospitals.
EMG        Environmental Modelling Group: identifies and steers the role that environmental modelling, data analysis and environmental sampling plays in understanding Covid-19 transmission routes and behavioural interventions and mitigations at a mechanistic level.
TFC          Children's Task and Finish Working Group: provides advice on the transmission of Covid-19 in children and in schools, feeding into studies and new funding.
HOC        Hospital Onset Covid-19 Working Group: provides leadership, analysis, policy change and interventions to reduce the rate of HOCI
ES            Ethnicity Subgroup: advises on COVID-19 risks and impacts for minority ethnic groups.
SCWG     Social Care Working  Group: provides modelling and evidence review to support policy decisions to limit the impact of COVID-19 in social care provision.
 
  Crossword clue:
 
"Grown-up gets blame in absurd senile plot."  (11,5) (mr. verge)
 ........................................
 
Nothing Changes - in fact, it gets worse

On the 5th August 2021,  it was estimated by the Press Association that there had been more than 10,000 migrants crossing the Channel illegally into the United Kingdom. Travel restrictions, obviously, not being applied. This contrasts with the 8,500 migrants the government estimates as having entered the UK illegally in the whole of 2020, despite Priti Patel having undertaken to make the Channel route "unviable" and proposed legislation to reform asylum rules and impose lengthier prison sentences for people smugglers and the migrants themselves. In February, 2016, Simone Hericourt described conditions in Calais, where a transit camp called "the Jungle" had grown, occupied by migrants waiting to illegally enter the UK. She said: "They smash cars with iron bars. They assault people, they even assault children. They rob and they rape" One of her sons was assaulted by three men and hit with an iron bar. Migrants damaged a statue of De Gaulle, scrawling Fuck France on it before displaying an ISIS flag. The following piece was written by mr ishmael when that news broke.

ANARCHY'S MESSENGER. 14/2/2016



We don't know if what this lady says is accurate and truthful.  What we do know is that we have seen thousands of people unlawfully storm border crossings, refuse to co-operate with lawful requests for identification and attempt to illegally board a British vessel.  We have seen thousands of people attempt to enter the UK illegally.  We have seen tens of thousands of people who have cynically used their notional refugee status not to claim refuge in the first country they visit but to insist that they travel without let, hindrance or documentation to wherever they chose. Even without Mme Hericourt's revelations, the so-called Jungle is an affront to law-abiding citizens across Europe; its raison d'etre is the determined pursuit of illegality and yet the authorities - the miserable Frankie Hollande's and our own - response is to support and resource it, instead of dismantling it, breaking-up its gangs and dispersing its population.  

Our own witless fuckpig, Cameron, despite taxing us billions for the Ruperts and the Navy, whimpers, Oh, fuck me, matron, HM Armed Forces simply cannot defend the Chunnel and the Channel against a few thousand angry Muslim civilians, better vote as I tell you or we'll be invaded, yes, the fuckers'll overrun us completely, with their phones'n'scarves'n'stubbly chins;  yes,  I know Winston didn't think like that, but I'm not Winston.

I mean, there is something very wrong here, isn't there, when the prime minister admits he cannot defend a single point of entry to the United Kingdom, unless we vote stay in the European Union?

Mme. Hericourt lists, also,  the failures of French police and politicians and when we compare them with similar behaviours here, at home, there is nothing extraordinary or unbelieveable in her claims.  Northern cops and filthy councillors and MPs have conspired in a far more grievous fashion against indigenous communities than have les flics and le parlement Francais.

It may be that Mme. Hericourt is another Diane Wotsit, of the Poundlanders, another Suzy UKIP, a chancer, looking for a seat in some incoming le Pen senat or assemblie, maybe even a gig with the dwarf, Sarkozy, should he win, let's face it, if he employed  crooked old Chrissie la Vache, he'll employ anyone.  We cannot know, save that she was produced by an organisation called Counter-Jihadi, a group to which, on the face of it, no-one should object, although apparently they do.
  At the very worst she is a counterblast to the listeners of Any Questions who insist - or used to - that we should open not only our borders but our homes to a hostile and alien culture.  If her account of life in Calais is true then her view that this is the end of our civilisation seems less racist hyperbole,  more a warning from someone who's been there, done that, got the burka.

CRUELTY TEEVEE. 
A SELFIE FROM SODOM AND GOMORRAH
 
There's an awful lot of immensely popular TeeVee which I've never seen: West Wing, Downton Abbey, the Simpsons......there's no particular reason I've missed these shows, I don't believe that popular culture is automatically bad, far from it but even when it is bad it can  be compelling. I am currently watching, fascinated, NCIS, an American cop procedural in which the cops are actually US Navy Special Agents - Feds -   investigating crimes perpetrated  or suffered by serving or former sailors and marines, their friends, families or anyone they ever met. 

The head of the Washington-based team  is seventy year old Leroy Jethro Gibbs, a former crew-cut psychobastard Momma's boy gunny sergeant sniper who has metamorphosed into the parfit gentle knight; it is a characterisation  originated by Clint Eastwood who has played it as both Gunny Sergeant, Thomas Highway,  in Heartbreak Ridge and 'Frisco cop Dirty Harry Callahan.  Like Eastwood's outlaw Josey Wales, Gibbs lost his wife and child to bad guys and is now
taciturn, watchful, cool and deadly;
 suspicious of his superiors, 

Special Agent Gibbs is the archetypal rogue within. The Navy, the Congress  and the President would rather have him in the tent pissing out and killing the bad guys than outwith the tent pissing in on the good guys.

Gibbs' team of smiling, sexy assassins and MIT-educated techno geeks


can, within a second, access the financial, educational, employment, marital, telecommunications and criminal records of everyone on the planet and call down a drone strike to kill them. The show perfectly metaphorises Uncle Sam's vicious Exceptionalism, its out of control privatised penal and military-industrial complex and its racist LawnForcement agencies. Everybody in NCIS is WASP, aside from the Director who, as is the case in US cop shows, is a shiny, angry black man and Gibbs, a true patriot, is quick to threaten anyone defying him with a one-way ticket to Guantanamo Bay, Torture Capitol of the world.  The NCIS show is twenty seasons of Savagery Ennobled.
No business like showbusiness.

Aghast and open-mouthed I can watch all sorts of shit on the box but I have never been able to tolerate Cruelty TeeVee.

I guess it started in this country with nonce-lover Esther Rantzen,  and her hideous smirk-show, That's Life, 

Image result for esther rantzen, thats life, original team


this below, from Victor Lewis-Smith in the Evening Standard

THAT'S LIFE!

In life, there are some certainties. Tributes always flood in (they never trickle), lucre is always filthy, virtues are always extolled, rises are always meteoric, gauntlets are always run. And on That's Life!, no matter how pitifully tragic a story they might be relating, you won't have to wait long for a gratuitous mention of either willies or titties. This week we had both.
It's significant that the first word in the opening titles is "Help" because Esther and her catatonic catamites desperately need some. For twenty-one years they've been getting away with murder - shamelessly repeating the same shallow format of vulgar misprints mixed with tales of stupid people who've given money to clever people - but now their show is on Death Row, with the execution date already fixed. On Saturday night, the Patron Saint of Patronisers appeared, wearing a startled expression usually only seen on the faces of blow-up sex dolls, and dressed in a yellow number that made her look like a tube of mustard surmounted by Shergar's teeth. She'd even chosen to make her entrance through the studio audience; presumably, she thought ordinary people might like a last chance to touch the hem of her garment, before she departs at Easter. 



Since deifying herself the mangy old crow has claimed that when she was sucking Sir Nicky Fairbairn, MP's cock she didn't know that  he rammed it up children,  was a child molester and maybe much worse. Well, how would she?

 Ratso Rantzen, had not at that point opportunistically developed her self-glorifying, phoney Childline persona and the ability to spot a nonce at a hundred metres, unless it was Sir Jimmy Savile,





I can do this to your cock.
 
 No, you're alright, love, a bit old for me;  twelve, thirteen, that's my top limit.

or indeed any other pushy, showy pervert fingering, buggering and murdering his way through a gilded showbiz career in MediaMinster.

Rantzen's That's Life schtick was as Lewis-Smith describes, the cruel and spiteful  presentation of the foibles of the poor by the mocking rich.  The flea-bitten old slag can take credit not for helping children but for inventing Cruelty TeeVee, a genre in which people who have been to university, people who have the good fortune to receive a bit of education, mock, lampoon and ridicule those less fortunate.
Arise Dame Esther.  

The format, of course, is now global and often driven by female presenters, notably Bob Maxwell's office fluffer, Anne Robinson's Weakest Link.  She was truly corrosive, I remember at the time, hearing teachers complain that the playground, already a killing field for the more vicious little darlings had become even more lethally toxic after the kids had seen the Weakest Link, a show where producers whispered gratuitous  insult and humiliation in the moron Robinson's earpiece so's she could apparently spontaneously abuse her guests.  Robinson, clad absurdly as an elderly dominatrix, winking and dribbling,  really did seem to relish her incessant humiliation of ordinary people. I hope her arse falls out and she slips on her innards, breaking her scawny neck.

This cheap and nasty approach to one's fellow man has spread to other formats, Big Brother, I'm A Celebrity  Get Me Out Of Here, the various Simon Cowell-inspired talent scam shows, the Masterchef and Sewing Bee series; there's Bukkake Boy, George Osborne's, best friend, the repulsive screeching Queen of Venom "Judge" Rinder, basing himself on America's hideous Judge Judy. In all these shows, the crucial elements -
the watchers and the hapless participants,  are  not to blame;  these people have been impoverished, beggared, spiritually orphaned and culturally outlawed by decades of Far Centre politics, Whisky Maggie and her spivs and ponces, Tebbit, Heseltine, Portillo; by Tony and Imelda and the thieving war criminals and torturers, Straw, Hoon, Ainsworth, Mandelstein, Reid and Ainsworth;  by Snotty Brown's disastrous, egomaniacal, stuttering  fuckwit incompetence.

........................................................

mr ishmael's essays today are:

ANARCHY'S MESSENGER. 14/2/2016

CRUELTY TEEVEE:  A SELFIE FROM SODOM AND GOMORRAH

 ..............................................

It is now around ten months since Honest Not Invent was published. The anthology, as is Vent Stack, is available on Amazon, and it would help potential readers to have some idea of the treat in store if there were some reviews from those Ishmaelites who have read the book. For those who have not yet added the anthologies to your library, the cheapest way to obtain a copy is from Lulu. Register an account with them first, to save yourself a couple of quid, as going straight into the link provided below seems to make paypal think it's ok to charge in dollars, and apply their own conversion rate, which will put the price up slightly for a UK buyer. Once the new account is set up, follow our link; a pop-up box asks for age confirmation - simply set the date to (say) 1 January 1960, and proceed. (If you type the title, the anthology will not appear as a search result until the "show explicit content" box - found at the bottom left by scrolling down - has been checked.  You may also see the age verification box, as above, at this point.) 
 The full title is "Vent Stack love from stanislav" by ishmael smith, and the cover you'll see is red with white titles and a picture of Buster the Previous Blog Dog having a green thought in a green shade. 

Link for the paperback:

 https://www.lulu.com/en/us/shop/ishmael-smith/vent-stack/paperback/product-q8jzk2.html?page=1&pageSize=4

Or...

shorter link, which might make it easier if you wish to paste it into an email and tell a friend:

 https://tinyurl.com/naajavmu

 Honest, Not Invent is available in paperback or hardback.

Link for Hard Back : 

https://www.lulu.com/en/us/shop/ishmael-smith/honest-not-invent/hardcover/product-njr7vg.html

Link for Paper Back : 

https://www.lulu.com/en/us/shop/ishmael-smith/honest-not-invent/paperback/product-wq2kpg.html

At checkout, enter TREAT15 in the coupon box, which  takes 15% off the price before postage.  If this code has expired by the time you reach this point, try a google search for "Lulu.com voucher code" and see what comes up.  With the 15% voucher, the book (including delivery to a UK address) should cost £10.89

 

Sunday, 1 August 2021

The Sunday Ishmael 1/08/2021

  In the last thread, mr mike said:  "As normal men in the street, enjoying a game of cricket and a pint, one could take the view that politics and Westminster is far removed and irrelevant to us, way out in the West country. However, I've seen Government on the inside, and its clear to me that sooner rather than later it has a fundamental effect on our way of life....."
I'm currently reading A State of Fear, by Laura Dodsworth, which sets out to demonstrate how Government weaponised fear, supposedly in our best interests, until we were the most frightened country in Europe.

The blurb says: "In one of the most extraordinary documents ever revealed to the British public, the behavioural scientists advising the government said that a substantial number of people did not feel threatened enough by Covid-19 to follow the rules. They advised the government to increase our sense of "personal threat" to scare us into submission."
As a strategy to keep the population safe, it misfired - it increased the fear of those who were already afraid, and slid off the backs of the refuseniks. I think I've mentioned George Square in Glasgow and the Tartan Army at Wembley. Will the British addiction to sport be the death of us? 
As a strategy to create the climate to increase legal powers to control and coerce the population, it was amazingly successful. I've mentioned  the Coronavirus Act 2020 Coronavirus Act 2020 (legislation.gov.uk) which was swiftly passed, at pace, as they say nowadays, without let, hindrance or demur - the most sweeping removal of civil liberties ever in this country. 

Good to know that the 57 year old GrandFather of our Nation has been at it again, and another little Ho-Ho will be bred up on the playing fields of Eton. Did you know that one of his middle names is de Pfeffel? Mrs Johnson (33 years old and already a miscarriage survivor) is a strong competitor in the brood mare voting stakes previously graced by Mrs. Blair, Mrs Hague, Mrs. Cameron and Mrs Brown - their husbands, all compromised by age or other difficulties, all clinging to the belief that this will prove their masculinity, their ability to lead the nation by virtue of their thrusting priapism, that this will increase their vote worthiness. Bo Jo is intent on out-babying his predecessors - where will it end? Does the man not realise there's a population crisis - or there is until his covid-cull yields substantial rewards? Why isn't he getting on with saving the Nation? If you would like to remind yourself of stanislav's views on this undignified prime  ministerial procreative Olympics, glance at More Dead Baby Shit, posthumously published in the Sunday Ishmael 29/11/20. Speculating on the viability of the latest Primeministerial foetus, he concluded with the withering indictment: "Is very nasty business, politics. Dead baby or no dead baby. But dead baby is probably worse.  Best thing is that old blokes don't bother."
mr ishmael, as you might imagine, held very similar views: 

TALES FROM RUIN, 24/2/10

It’s the new craze and it’s sweeping the political capitals of the world, well, London anyway; it’s called the Dead Baby Jive. You just go on telly with some grinning prat and jive-talk about your dead baby. Y’know, milk it for all it’s worth and all the time keep on saying I keep my private life private and wouldn’t dream of mentioning family shit but did I tell you about the time my baby died? In my arms?
Well, readers, once upon a time, a young married couple, Kirk and Sally - he talented and kind and handsome, and she, well, athletic and forthright - fell in love and had a fairytale Presbyterian wedding, which means a very long sermon and no dancing and some miserable-bastard least-you-can-get-away-with wedding gifts. Oh, fuck me, says hubby, look, now that I’m over fifty, maybe now’s the time I should think about having a family. And you, too, darling, if you like. Oooh, yes, please, says Sally, let’s be bright, young parents, like everyone else our age. (Most people Kirk’s age are having grandchildren and some of them, Mr Prescott’s Underclass, living on his sink estates and not, like him, in vulgar Jacobethan palaces, are even having great grandchildren but Kirk’s a slow starter with normal things.)
Okay, then, darling, says Kirk, how do we do it? Do we send someone out to get them, to a baby shop? Young Milipond gets his in America, or Mexico, I believe, and I like America, I go there every year for my holidays. What? No, of course you can’t come, you wouldn’t like it. Shall we buy an American baby, preferably a Ken-nedy one? But Sally bashfully whispered in Kirk’s ear…You fucking what, exploded Kirk, you fucking put what where? That’s the most disgusting thing I ever heard…almost, anyway, I mean there was that thing about George Robertson. Oh, never mind…but I’m not doing any of that shit, you can forget that. Isn’t there some other way?
And so it came to pass that a consignment of tartan turkey basters arrived from John Lewis in plain brown paper at the young couple’s home in London, where the Queen lives and all the Russian gangsters who don’t pay any tax and are friends of Lord Crabs, and in due course the happy young couple had three children, one of whom died, another of whom was born with a cruel disability and one of whom was alright, at least so far. And Kirk and Sally felt that, to all the world and his brother, they had demonstrated their love and, most importantly, that they were normal, just like the people they wanted to vote for them, even though everybody knew that Kirk was a frightened, angry, thuggish, pasty old creep, terrified of being thought a member of the Greville Janner fanclub - but Kirk thought that having children, even if most of them proved he shouldna, not at his age, would put the matter, so to speak, straight; the stream of true self- love, however, seldom runs clear, and in Kirk’s case it’s always been murky.
It’s not as though Sally was gay, herself; how could she be, married to Kirk, the sportsman, who had been the most eligible bachelor since Cliff Richard? It’s just that she was a keen supporter of the Gay Pride rallies, where aggressive bald men with iron bars in their foreskins dress up as nuns and wave dildos around and, therefore, need, no, deserve, proper respect from us all and, come to think of it, she was a bit on the manly side herself; no reason, of course, for her not to love her big messy man. But not everybody loved Kirk as Sally loved him. As a matter of fact, people were either indifferent to the brusque manly charms which swept Sally quite off her flat shoes or they hated his fucking guts with a passion unrivalled anywhere, anytime, since we spluttered out from the sea and up the shores, to the caves, the trees, the plains and eventually the cities. No one was ever so detested as was Kirk, the incompetent, shouty fuckwit.
Things were getting so bad, in fact, on the We Hate Kirk And Want Him Gone front that it was time to play the dead baby card. And that’s just what he did. Look, he said, I may look like a revolting, stuttering mutant, a filthy degenerate who pours shit on his cornflakes, the sort of person who if he said he was going to take your children camping you’d rather put them to death and a man you wouldn’t trust to blow out a fucking candle for fear he’d burn the house down but actually, look, I’m just like you, my babies drop like flies. And that was the nigger in the ointment, the baby in the woodpile, because most people don’t lose their children - well, not yet anyway; give this lot another five years in charge of the NHS and we’ll get there…I can see him, flailing at the dispatch box with his bloody, snot-encrusted fingers : And so I say, Mr Speaker, a record, a record, a record number of still-births, across-the-board rises in miscarriages, ectopic pregnancies, post-parturition spontaneous infant combustion, all across the board, Mr Speaker, across the board, only under a Labour government can this happen…
Everybody squirmed when he did the dead baby thing. And the more arch and contrived were he and his happy bride, the worse it looked. And as for the Dead-Eye Dick dimension, a sporting accident, well, fuck me, half the people in Iraq are wandering around eyeless, legless, armless, speechless, skin burned off. And if you don’t have a dead  baby, it’s easy, just contact a couple of smart young doctors and they’ll disappear your baby for you and blame the police and get you lotsa lovely money into the bargain. You’ll be a hero and people will pay off your mortgage while you develop a career lecturing in Disappearing Baby Studies.
 

...................................................................

 
Olympic News
 
 I'm sports-averse. Maybe even allergic. The commentator's artificial triumphalist inflection, rising to the screamed "It's a GOAL!"  has me running for the off switch, as it physically hurts, tearing through my head, down my Eustachian tubes into my brain, firing off fear synapses. 
And they are such a disgusting lot, sportspersons: strutting, narcissistic, arrogant, skimpily dressed, tanked up on testosterone and other substances, incapable of stringing two sensible words together, far too thin and over-sexed (160,000 condoms have been supplied to the Olympic village for the use of competitors). 
They've been making a fuss about some athletes using performance-enhancing drugs. As usual. They've been making this fuss, like, forever, man. They keep testing people and disqualifying a few scapegoats and some athletes, who claim not to take performance enhancing drugs, not even a little extra toke on their Ventolin, say it is just not fair. So I had this idea. Athlete A  is cross because Athlete B is not as good as him at running about, jumping over things, swimming, whatever, and yet won the heat because he took performance-enhancing drugs. So, make all the damn athletes take them. That way, everybody's performance will be enhanced, but not to the same level, as there is a difference in ability between them in the first place. Good idea, huh? What's not to like?  
 
Here's mr ishmael on sport:  
 


SPORTS NEWS.  IT'S ALL SHIT.
 
 Once, before before, it was OK,  sport,  even if you didn't like it.  It was in the back pages of the 'papers and confined to Saturday afternoon and a night in the week on telly-  a quarter or a third of every news bulletin being devoted to sport was unthinkable. But as Mr Murdoch increased the channels available to skymadeupnewsandfilth, his minions, people like Andy Neil and  Kelvin McKenzie, had to raise the profile, as we call it, of every fucking sporting activity under the sun, anything even remotely strenuous spawned stars and championships and pundits.  It wasn't just the Dirty Digger creating more and more platforms for  more and more advertising and more and more unnecessary and unsatisfying consumption of junk,  the real corrosion kicked-off - forgive the sporting  metaphor - with the BBC's cowardly adoration of the Babydriver,  McEnroe,  a spoilt prat and gabshite, a nasty, otherwise worthless man who almost singlehandedly trashed the notion of sportspersonship and introduced, to my generation, the maxim that it didn't matter how you played the game, it's whether  you win or lose that counts.

Pot Black,  the early and surprising televising of the mind-numbing tedium of professional snooker, hypnotised large parts of a generation enchanted by then-new colour television and sport - or what passes, now, for sport; darts, for instance and for fuck's sake,  became a large section of the broadcasters' schedules. The school playing fields, meanwhile, were sold off by and to Thatcherite spivs;  PE or PT, call it what you will, declined, in and outside of the school, obnoxious little jerks being ferried  about by stupid parents smugly doing what they called the School Run. Fuck it, you could go on forever about how we have a nation of idle, braindead, overweight children who can neither read nor write and who think multiplication is something David Attenborough talks about.  Still, can't have them walking to school, the Paedos might get 'em. LoveMyKidsToBits,Me, DoAnyfin4Em.  

Lewis Hamilton, walking billboard


Stop calling it sport and call it what it is: Monetised Entertainment.
 ..........................................................
stanislav and  mr ishmael's essays today are:
More Dead Baby Shit                        Drafted  26/3/2010
Tales from Ruin                          Drafted 24/2/2010
Sports News. It's all Shit                   Drafted 31/1/2012

Both anthologies of the work  of mr ishmael and his young Polish friend, Stanislav, Plumb Cheap for You:  Honest Not Invent and Vent Stack - are available to purchase for mere money at Lulu or Amazon. It is cheaper to buy from Lulu. Here's how to buy your own copies: 

Please register an account with them first. This will save you a couple of quid, as going straight into the link provided below seems to make paypal think it's ok to charge in dollars, and apply their own conversion rate, which will put the price up slightly for a UK buyer. Once the new account is set up, follow our link; a pop-up box asks for age confirmation - simply set the date to (say) 1 January 1960, and proceed. (If you type the title, the anthology will not appear as a search result until the "show explicit content" box - found at the bottom left by scrolling down - has been checked.  You may also see the age verification box, as above, at this point.) 
 The full title is "Vent Stack love from stanislav" by ishmael smith, and the cover you'll see is red with white titles and a picture of Buster the Previous Blog Dog having a green thought in a green shade. 

Link for the paperback:

 https://www.lulu.com/en/us/shop/ishmael-smith/vent-stack/paperback/product-q8jzk2.html?page=1&pageSize=4

Or...

shorter link, which might make it easier if you wish to paste it into an email and tell a friend:

 https://tinyurl.com/naajavmu

 Honest, Not Invent is available in paperback or hardback.

Link for Hard Back : 

https://www.lulu.com/en/us/shop/ishmael-smith/honest-not-invent/hardcover/product-njr7vg.html

Link for Paper Back : 

https://www.lulu.com/en/us/shop/ishmael-smith/honest-not-invent/paperback/product-wq2kpg.html

At checkout, enter TREAT15 in the coupon box, which  takes 15% off the price before postage.  If this code has expired by the time you reach this point, try a google search for "Lulu.com voucher code" and see what comes up.  With the 15% voucher, the book (including delivery to a UK address) should cost £10.89

Floating petri dish - Anthem of the Seas - Orkney's first cruise liner of the summer. For perspective - the tiny red and white boat nuzzling up to it is a massive car ferry.