Friday 5 May 2023

Anagrammatical Coronation Excess



Welcome to the ceremony of the strangled hitch-hiker. 

Will canonical queers molt when his totty gets an upgrade? The ritual costs a few quid so keep an eye out for corporate sponsorship on the side of the carriage; apparently Tampax have paid through the nose to remind us that - 
onions tempt rampant playboy.

As for the venue, if bricks could speak the oldies here would cry "tint my sewers, babe", 
and we'd be honour-bound to drop our drawers and comply. 
Uber prices are crazy high on a day like this, but that's ok because the - 
acid-head once ate butthole jism - hurray! 

En route, roofers give Halal scone to very hot Duchess (and not for the first time, I'll warrant.) 

While we wait for the main event, 
Bob, a high church arse, recites pony fart, 

but don't worry, they won't be swearing 
on a Torah, to coin a phrase. 

Then it's up with the 
sect-drawn sword, 

and everyone agrees it's either otiose pussy or a dukedom all round.

Here are the ten anagrams that mr verge has provided for your brain exercise to keep at bay the Alzheimer's. Answers will be provided in due course.

strangled hitch-hiker 

canonical queers molt 

onions tempt rampant playboy 

tint my sewers, babe

roofers give Halal scone to very hot Duchess 

acid-head once ate butthole jism 

Bob, a high church arse, recites pony fart 

 on a Torah, to coin

sect-drawn sword 

otiose pussy or a dukedom 


mongoose said...

The first one makes a nice clue:

Friend of Saville abused strangled hitch-hiker (4,7,3,5)

Anonymous said...

Nicely done, mr mongoose. (Unfortunately there was no phalanx of contrarian/situationist Savile masks in the kerbside crowds, not that we were shown at any rate.) Anyway, all over now, pretty much, so it's safe to come out of your bunker.



mongoose said...

Fortunately, mr v, except for 90 seconds inadvertently encountered on a news summary - and Chas does not look a well man - I have missed it in its entirety.

Anonymous said...

All too easily done, mr mongoose. I'm still reeling from the horror of an accidental exposure to James Nesbitt reciting some godawful drivel by a (do fuck off) Professor of Creative Wittering At Brunel (turning in his grave) University.


mrs ishmael said...

A principled man, mr mongoose, to have avoided the nonsense. You are right about Carolus III - he was looking dreadful, face rigid throughout, occasionally twitching and jerking in pain whilst sitting on his throne, needing assistance from the men in frocks to stand and walk, and his hands are a sight to behold - purple with sausage fingers. And they made him sit through the truly dreadful Windsor Concert on Sunday night. Now that was embarrassing. Hugh Bonneville in a sketch with Kermit and Miss Piggy - these actors will do anything. The Guardian described it as a cobbled together bunch of B-listers. I actually felt a bit sorry for the King after his weekend from Hell.
No doubt we will have to fork out another £100 million for Prince Wills' coronation in the not too distant future.

mon said...

He looked to me, mrs i, to be severely medicated and wearing a lot of make-up. There is talk of the wearing of some mad kingly glove which would not go on. Either fingers got too big for - probs newly prepped glove - or fingers hurt to insert.

I have no personal animus against the lad, poor bugger, but do we need all this codswallop in this day and age?

mrs ishmael said...

The glove, mr mon(goose) was a great white, rigid leather gauntlet, with much embellishment, which anyone would have found a bit tricky to don, but CarolusIII had to make quite the effort to ease it over the fingers. It was a relief to see those sausage fingers disappearing into the kingly glove, so I wouldn't have to look at them any more. His left hand, equally sausage-y, was ungloved so he could lay his hand on things in token of kingly acceptance and approval. No wedding ring, but he had managed to get a signet ring on to his little finger. Considering he has all the money in Britain and, presumably, the very best medical attention, those fingers are a sign of something seriously awry in his little old body. And he is tiny - his strapping son William towers over him. I once saw Princess Anne giving a speech, and she, also, is a tiny, tiny little thing - war time babies, I suppose.
Not only was it a load of expensive, vulgar codswallop, to use your delightful word, but the display of power and privilege, the intersectionality of Church, State, Military and Legislative (they got the Restriction of Protests and Demos Act through just in time to scoop up all those Republican protesters and tidy them away) made nonsense of the so-called Separation of Powers. And it really demonstrated Diana's thesis (and probably Meghan's, too) that The Firm is in charge. And it is a pretty Big Firm.