Jeremy Cunt's Autumn Statement fits sweetly into the traditional Tory loathing for the annoying, but necessary, working people of the United Kingdom. Clearly on the side of those benefiting from Truss' economic crisis, Cunty has started the ball rolling on a new Austerity Game, with his own rules. Here we go again, with public services slashed, stealth taxes on wages, real wages shrinking year on year, whilst banks report leaping profits from high interest rates, record bonuses in the City and profiteering energy companies, according to Treasury estimates, making £170 billion in “excess profits” in two years. The wealth of UK billionaires grew by 22% over the pandemic. And the Labour Party has swallowed Cunty's line, accepting the basis for austerity and inevitable cuts to public services.
“deliver public finances markets expect”, basing his spending and tax plans on what he thinks financial markets want, running scared after the markets flexed their muscles after the Kwarteng debacle. But Austerity is not a recipe for growth, which is needed to get us out of the recession. Simply hoping it will be shallow and short is not enough, I fear. Anyway, The Tories liked the Autumn Statement, and Cunty sat down to a round of pats.
RECESSION, IT'S OFFICIAL. AT LAST.
Ishmael Smith 26/11/2011
 |
| Chancellor of the Exchequer, Mr. George Osbo, prepares his Autumn Statement. |
There's
about three - or maybe a hundred and three - strands here on
whateverwecall it, the shitstorm, the impertinent volte face of the
kleptocracy, no longer promising us even a share of the fruits of our
own labour, not even a fragment of ownership of our own resources,
hooting at us, scorning our natural kindnesses. It's all our own fault
that they've been shitting in our faces all these years, we have left
them no option and now our only hope is to crouch back under the
latrine, our faces upturned, our mouths open.
survival differentials and the power of money
The advances we have seen, real advances, in health care, in longevity, and in women's and workers' and children's rights, these have all come from the people we are now told to hate, from the unions, from the NHS, from the Old Labour Party, from people we are now told by the likes of Danial Hannan* are unproductive,
Hannan, the worthless, overdressed, overpaid
overgobbed - you know the rest, fucking shit-eating bastard, moonlighting
as an MEP, but really a paid propagandist for Money - journalists,
bloggers and broadcasters, they call themselves, patting their lips with
Andrex. These advances have come in the teeth of opposition from the
likes of Hannan and Heffer and Cameron and Lansley; yet they insist that
they will protect them for us by hacking them to pieces, by slandering
the impotent poor, ennobling the rancid rich.
Those who screech hysterically that you cannot possibly do without
profit are the direct descendants of those who burnt Wycliff and
Tyndall, of the people who insisted that slavery was sent
from God, that feudalism was irreplaceable and that the minimum wage
was ruinous. These people are not only bad, they're fucking stupid.
*Daniel John Hannan, Baron Hannan of Kingsclere wrote in March 2011, criticizing anti-austerity protesters, stating they "have decided to indulge their penchant for empty, futile, self-righteous indignation". Writing on the 30th September 2022,in support of the Truss/Kwarteng budget, he wrote: "The current trend is to insist that any change in tax policy should be primarily designed to help the poor. That assumption is flawed." Not changed your spots, then, Dan?
How can you say such things, ms agatha? What have I done, that you would consign me thus, to skymadeupnewsandfilth?
Agatha said...
I was thinking more in terms of a book, dear sir: The collected insights of Ishmael and his good friend Stanislav, with occasional contributions from Buster.
Twelve years later, thanks to editor mr. verge, there are now three books of the collected works of ishmael smith:
Ishmaelites wishing to buy a copy from lulu should follow these steps :
please register an account first, at lulu.com. This is advisable because otherwise paypal seems to think it's ok to charge in dollars, and they then apply their own conversion rate, which might put the price up slightly for a UK buyer. Once the new account is set up, follow one of the links below (to either paperback or hardback) or type "Ishmael’s Blues" into the Lulu Bookstore search box. Click on the “show explicit content” tab, give the age verification box a date of birth such as 1 January 1960, and proceed.
Link for Hardcover : https://tinyurl.com/je7nddfr
Link for Paperback : https://tinyurl.com/3jurrzux
At checkout, try WELCOME15 in the coupon box, which (for the moment) takes 15% off the price before postage. If this code has expired by the time you reach this point, try a google search for "Lulu.com voucher code" and see what comes up.
With the 15% voucher, PB (including delivery to a UK address) should be £16.84; HB £27.04.
7 comments:
Didn't see this line item in Cunty's exercise book.
https://www.telegraph.co.uk/business/2022/11/18/george-osborne-saddles-taxpayer-133bn-bill-accounting-trick/
Sorry, mr mike, the article is behind a paywall, and I'm damned if I'll subscribe to the Telegraph.Being a Spectator reader is shame enough. Can you summarise the accounting trick?
And did you notice that Cunty has stuck it to the incoming Labour Government, with measures delayed for a coupla years?
First 2 sentences is all you need:
"Taxpayers have been saddled with a £133bn bill after an accounting trick introduced by George Osborne in the wake of the financial crisis backfired.
The Office for Budget Responsibility (OBR) warned that the Treasury will be on the hook to cover losses on the stockpile of government debt amassed by the Bank of England during the financial crisis and Covid pandemic."
Thanks, mr mike - they really don't know what they're doing, do they? Just want to look the part and hang onto their jobs. If we had Ginger Growler in the top job, instead, couldn't be any worse and she might be a refreshing change - like the attack dog they've voted into the top job in Italy.
Maybe the Ginger Growler would be a good choice? When she makes the obligatory pilgrimage to Kiev to do the required arse licking she would literally boost the standing of the pygmy president.
Possibly not quite what you had in mind, mr mike, but you may be on to something there - what better incentive could there be, more fully to engage the electorate, than a lottery whereby 25 voters in each constituency would win an arse-licking visit from their MP? Voters who are also paid-up party-members might be allowed to choose whether or not to bother washing before their appointment (and this could be spun as the greener choice, saving water and so forth.) And since this would probably only work with a compulsory voting system, and a digital one to boot, the Ring of Power Draw would be a bold way to grease the wheels of electoral modernisation. (Just have to hope mrs ishmael's speculation about Growler's piercing is misplaced, I suppose.)
Gentlemen, your scatological invention surpasses itself. You'd suppose the electorate would be praying not to have a visit from Gnasher Sturgeon, however, as she cannot be trusted in intimate regions at the best of times, and this is not the best of times for Madam Fish, now that the Supreme Court has spat on her ambitions. What, said the Judgement, Are You Mad?
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