In their worn, jaded monkey-thoughts, pilfered, one from another, some of them passed, like holy relics, from one generation of compliant monkey-broadcasters to another and like all the previous festivals of lying which I have witnessed in my lifetime, this, they all do insist, this election is the most important, ever; roll-up, roll-up, the magical mystery tour is coming to take you away - your pensions, anyway, your jobs and your health service; gotta be fit for purpose, gotta move with the times.
They are all just in it together; Ed Balls has far more in common with George Osborne than he does with you or I, they are acts on the same bill, unless they hang together they will hang apart.
But they, like many of us, are overtaken by a technological and concomitant informational revolution far beyond their ken. Oh, they tweet and email and are seldom without some device which we have bought them, keeping their idiotfinger on our pulse, as they would have it, even though most of them don't know what technological day it is.
How utterly redundant and contemptible is parliamentary democracy, how out of touch its practitioners, how venal its purpose.
Enough of the scum, augmented by new scum, Greens and Jocks and Poundlanders. They will cling-on and form some sort of Govament of National Unity. There is fuck-all separating most of them, a windmill here, a border crossing there, a seventeeth-century nationalism across the road. All of them hate us - probably, given our forebearance of them, rightly so, for as long as we participate, even one of us, in this black charade, we deserve the shit they so enthusiastically spatter in our faces.
- Imran Ahmad Khan, Conservative MP for Wakefield, convicted in 2022 of sexually assaulting a 15 year old boy and expelled from the Conservative Party, but not before he had been a member of a panel advising on grooming gangs and contributed to a paper called “Group-based child sexual exploitation characteristics of offending”, while police were investigating him for child sexual abuse. Louise Haigh, Labour MP and Shadow Cabinet Minister said, “Khan’s victim told the Conservatives about sickening sexual abuse, and they did nothing, and then shamefully appointed him to sit alongside survivors of child sexual exploitation. The Tories have serious questions to answer over how they gave this man free rein to exploit his position and victims of abuse"
- Neil Parish, Conservative MP for Tiverton and Honiton, after disgracefully allowing other MPs to come under suspicion whilst the identity of the accused MP was still not known to the public. Parish was interviewed on GB News and said that the accused MP should be "dealt with and dealt with seriously" and finally resigned having been revealed as having watched pornography on his mobile phone in the House during a debate. In floods of tears, he told the nation that he was looking for tractor websites. Deputy Labour Leader, Angela Legs Raynor wrote: "He was looking for tractors but ended up with porn actors? Neil Parish must think you were all born yesterday.David Warburton, Conservative MP for Somerton and Frome, currently under suspension pending the outcome of an investigation by Parliament's Independent Complaints and Grievance Scheme into allegations that he sexually harassed three women. Warburton allegedly asked for cocaine to be bought. The woman complainant said he got into bed with her, naked. She alleged that he ground against her and groped her breasts after she stated repeatedly she did not want sex with him. Warburton was admitted to a psychiatric hospital. His wife said he was suffering from severe shock and stress following the allegations.It's a tough life, being a male Honourable Member, condemned to prowl the bars and knocking shops of Westminster. As we know from the extensive Literature on the subject, not least by Charlaine Harris, vampires living exclusively in nests with other vampires grow cruel and contemptuous of humans.
- 15/5/2020 Wine and Cheese Garden Party with Boris, Dominic Cummings and others. Police Verdict - no law broken.
- 20/5/2020 "Bring a bottle and enjoy the sunshine" Party. Boris and Whitehall workers present. Police Verdict - Fixed Penalties issued, we believe.
- 8/6/2020 A "Gathering" in the Cabinet Office - a leaving party for a private secretary. Police Verdict - illegal, Fixed Penalties issued.
- 18/6/2020 Boris' 56th Birthday Party. Police Verdict -illegal, Fixed Penalties issued to Mr and Mrs Johnson and Chancellor Sunak, amongst others.
- 13/11/2020 - two leaving parties, one to celebrate Cummings' departure. Police Verdict - awaited.
- 14/12/2020 An "Unauthorised Gathering" at Conservative HQ in Westminster. Police Verdict - awaited.
- 15/12/2020 A Christmas Quiz Party with wine, Boris, colleagues both virtual and real, and tinsel. Police Verdict - awaited.
- 16/12/2020 A Christmas Party at the Department of Transport. Police Verdict - we're too busy to bother with this one.
- 17/12/2020 Two Leaving Parties and another Christmas Quiz in the Cabinet Office. Police Verdict - awaited.
- 18/12/2020 Allegra Stratton's downfall Party.Police Verdict - awaited.
- 14/1/2021 A Leaving Party at Number 10 with Boris and Prosecco. Police Verdict - awaited.
- 16/4/2021Two Leaving Parties in Downing Street with lots of booze, merging and overflowing into the Downing Street Garden. Police Verdict - clearly illegal. Fixed Penalties issued.
- 6/5/2021. Matt Hancock and Gina Coladangelo Party. Police Verdict - no law was broken. Hancock resigns
- Most Friday nights are "wine and work" events in Downing Street.
Honest Not Invent and Vent Stack - anthologies of the work of mr ishmael and stanislav, the young Polish plumber - can be purchased from Amazon or from Lulu.
|Not a Tractor|