TOO MANY WOGS SPOIL THE BROTH.
Tory Klansmen in bid to undercut Poundland.
No, no, Eric is quite right,
the Pakis need to stand up and play the white man.
I'm sick of these Tory bastards,
Govey and the fat fucker and that fucking clown, Cameron.
It's not the party I joined, as a young Tory Muslim bint, fresh-faced from t'mill, 'ikin' over t'Pennines t' t'constituency meeting, nowt burra bag o' t'pork scratchins to keep me goin', like, only not pork, obviously, on account o' me faith, like
Yeah, Fred Dibnah,
'e wurra constituent o' mine, 'fore 'e died, like, aye, as it 'appens, 'e did ask me t't marry 'im, 'n travel t'country, perched on t'hot part of 'is steam engine, an' share in is bacon sandwich, like, an' his sausage butty
'e wurra constituent o' mine, 'fore 'e died, like, aye, as it 'appens, 'e did ask me t't marry 'im, 'n travel t'country, perched on t'hot part of 'is steam engine, an' share in is bacon sandwich, like, an' his sausage butty
worree cooked on't shovel, like.
But I couldna married Fred, aye, on account o' me faith, like.
Well, I say he wurra constituent, like, but I were never achelly elected to owt, it were just 'andy for that Cameron t'have a token Paki bint in t'govament.
Well, I say he wurra constituent, like, but I were never achelly elected to owt, it were just 'andy for that Cameron t'have a token Paki bint in t'govament.
And on t'telly.
An' so 'e made me a Baroness, like a memsahib, yeah. Aye, a sort of a Muslim Gracie Fields if you like but it all went sour, like, when they sacked me,
on account o' me faith, like....
on account o' me faith, like....
And here, on Question Time, we are joined, now, for only a very few pounds, by Britain's greatest professional Muslimwoman, Yasmin Alibhai Muslim.
Yazza, what's your take on all this?
Well, David or Jonathan,
speaking as a career Muslimwoman.......
speaking as a career Muslimwoman.......
Yes, yes, that's why you're here.
Yes, as I was saying, speaking as the nation's leading career Muslimwoman, I have to say that Baroness Wogsi is absolutely right. Israel IS the only democratic state in the region, is our ally, and has every right to kick out the wogs and build settlements on their land, and yes, eventually in Jordan and Syria and Lebanon, anywhere they want. And if I might just say, David or Jonathan, anyone who disagrees with me is clearly a fucking Holocaust-denying fucking racist fucking Nazi fucking terrorist fucking bastarding anti fucking semite fucking arsehole. Muslims are all paedophiles, cartoon-hating, head-chopping fanatics who bathes in ghee and spends their spare time hacking goats to death with rusty knives, fucking raghead bastards, yes, and killing their own daughters, Oh, whoops, fuck me, Allah, what am I saying, David of Jonathan, I just slipped into being my colleague, Mad Melanie Philips-Rosenberg-Gefeltefische for a moment;
Jehova rules, grrr-arrgh.
'seasy done, same difference, same script, gobbing-off, feigning moral indignation, peddling racist codswallop, dressed-up as sweet reason. That'll be twelve hundred pounds, please, from the BBC.
Did I mention that my son's a lawyer?
I did? Every week?
Well, speaking as a Muslim woman, I do think it bears repeating.
My son, the lawyer.
Eat pigshit and die, Melanie.
My son, the lawyer.
Eat pigshit and die, Melanie.
Over now to KiddyNewsnight's Evan Sphinter, yes, that's him, in the tight little rentboy suit, and all I can say is that you'd never see Jerry Paxman dressed up like a male prostitute.
Evan, whaddayou make of all this? Storm in a ghee-cup? I mean tea-cup?
Well, Huw, all I know is that capitalism is just the greatest, most best thing ever and I just love rich businessmen, who wouldn't, with their bulging wallets and trousers. ( grins inanely)
That's My Bottom Line. (sniggers)
That's My Bottom Line. (sniggers)
Muslim Women? Not a fucking clue, me. That's a matter for Emily, she's a woman.
At least she says so, (grins and sniggers) although there's more than a whiff of the tranny about her.
Or is it him?
Her she comes, now.
(sings) (and grins) Now, I'm not dumb, but I can't understand, how she walks like a woman and talks like a man.....
Thanks, Evan, you little minx,
but you're not the only PBC Queen of the leather trousers, you know, and yes, this is the story of Tracey Warsi, the crooked PakiPeer, as she's known, gobbing-off about the Tories sacking her, although ostensibly her grievance is about equal opportunities. As if.
And while we are on the Tories, the Poundland leader, Sid Faridge has just issued a statement relating to the news of a so-called Muslim defection, from Poundland to the Tory Klan.
but you're not the only PBC Queen of the leather trousers, you know, and yes, this is the story of Tracey Warsi, the crooked PakiPeer, as she's known, gobbing-off about the Tories sacking her, although ostensibly her grievance is about equal opportunities. As if.
And while we are on the Tories, the Poundland leader, Sid Faridge has just issued a statement relating to the news of a so-called Muslim defection, from Poundland to the Tory Klan.
they should all vote UKIP,
I mean Tory
and play the white man,
like me.
Well yes, we are a broad church, in my party, and Mr Ali Baba is very welcome, even if he is a fruitcake, as he clearly is. Nothing like a turncoat. Look at me.
The Tories ? Oh,I don't know what they'll make of him.
Don't have much to do with them
Sid Pimp and Mr Ali Baba
in happier days.
Well, yes. Look, do you know what, it only goes to show what I've always said about immigration. Let's be dead honest about this. Just for a change. And do you know what, this bloke, this darkie defector, he started off with Labour, then he went Tory, then he came to me, looking for a home, and when I gave him one, a home, I mean, not that other sort of give-him-one, not that I know anything about that, illegal in The Poundland party, it is, travelling on the Brown 'Bus. I mean, let's be fair, who'd want to do that, when the taxpayers pay for your mistresses. And do you know what, after a busy day not working in the European parliament but just filling in all my expenses claims, a decent, honest, straight-talking politician such as myself needs a little comfort. Let's be clear, it's why we're all in it. But no, this Paki who defected, when I gave him a home and a decent salary, what does he do? I'll tell you what he did, he turned his coat and betrayed the very party which gave him his chance. Yes, exactly, exactly like Douglas Carswell. Who's he, anyway, Douglas Carswell? Is he really? Well look, do you know what, Emily, I can't be expected to know the name of every single two MPs we have in Westminster now, can I? I mean, let's be fair, the only one that really counts is me. And do you know what, I'm not even there. What, not likely to be? Well, not to put too fine a point on it, Emily, do you know what, I'd rather be the leader of the fastest shrinking I mean growing political party in my own mind than be a transsexual working for the PBC, who has been, let's be fair, almost entirely replaced by a grinning rentboy.
Wouldn't you?
Do you know what I mean?
Wouldn't you?
Do you know what I mean?
50 comments:
Outstanding Mr I. Melanie and Yasmin - may they share the same cell in hell. If only I had James Anderton's hotline to God. Mind you, one of Dibnah's 'shovel ready' sausage sandwiches would go down right nice just now...
Ah, The Baroness. Like Arthur, she has been sleeping until we needed her most.
Cameron was a fool, appointing her as his token Muslim womam but nowhere near as big a fool as he is in having that photo taken with Mr Bashir. Still, all the rednecks, squabbling over a believer, it's great. If only there was a Labour party, or any sort of opposition.
You may be right about that Mr I. Probably uses the same accountant as Mr Rahman down in Tower Hamlets...Isn't Mr Pickles investigating him just now?
Dave's dead eyes and tight, terrified little Tory smile. Perhaps he sensed all was not entirely on course with this prat they've acquired. Isn't there some suggestion he also stood for Gorgeous George's Respect party or wanted to?
....and this is just the visible bit.
Icebergs only have 14% of their mass visible.
I think Respect deselected him and then he joined Poundland, where Sid sang his praises, defended him and made him spokesman on small business, until he defected; it is wonderful, Bashir, Sid and Dave; Carswell leading his own branch of Poundland; Miliband evaporating before his own eyes; bent Kenny Clarke denying all this Tory paedophilia nonsense, the madman, Lamont, hyming the wretched Brittain; Duke Paedo indispensible to UK plc; the entire establishment mourning the death of some Saudi dog-fellating, degenerate son of a camel-fucked, shit-eating whore with only Ruth Boy Davidson saying Boo! and the Greeks, smashing all their plates and telling Angela Hausfrau and Christine la Vache to stick their MickeyMouse currency where the Sun don't shine. Iceberg blues, indeed, mr alphons
Dang me it only seems like yesterday (it probably was) that I was mentioning The Day of The Jackal, to Mr BB, I think it was, and it's on the TeeVee (ITV4). One of my favourite filllumms but it does leave me with that question: "But if the Jackal wasn't Calthrop, then who the hell was he?"
The start of cinematic fetishising of the sniperscope, the weapon assembly, the sponge-lined case, a very influential film, flawless,well shot, well acted. And lovely Citroen DSs. Fox never had another such day in the Sun. I think that was the point, that we didn't know who the Jackal was.
Just been watching it. Hard to think that it was conceived by Mad Freddie Forsyth who is a sort of thinking man's Mark Thatcher. Brilliant film though.
Mad as a fucking hatter, and he wrote in thirty days off from his job at the Guardian. Never matched it, though.
Great film, keep returning to it from time to time, still hoping that he pops one in De Gaulles head at the end.
Odd, how this most unsympathetic of villains had many rooting for him; a great film, indeed, politically cynical before its time; crisp and vivid, especially those parade scenes, the cavalry, must've filmed the real thing on the same film stock and deftly edited it all together, fabulous.
The Battle of Algiers is an altogether different, brutal film. Saw it once, never again.
I wonder what Sid James would have made of all this bed hopping..What a carry on..
It used to be that the loons slithered down the greasy pole of the various parties in search of new homes - before ending up on daytime TV. Now it seems they go the other way. Or perhaps the pole has reversed itself and we didn't notice.
There certainly seems to have been some action in Greece overnight. Though there is a traditional Greek re-action to such things and that is not to be thought about.
All these people that you mention, yes, I know them, they're quite lame. I met Robert Kilroy-Smith, once, back when he was a career penal reformer, before he became full-time member for daytime telly, what a piece of work.
I think what you speak of, Weirdness Ascendant, started with what, in Scotland, we called, without irony, the Annointment of Gordon Brown as prime minister; the rise of he freak. Now it is de rigeur, Clegg, Cameron, Miliband, Farage, that Greenster dame, Gnasher Sturgeon, Angula Hausfrau, Francois Cock, Christ fucking help us, they are all malformed, degenerate, incompetent lunatics.
Mr Bashir should at the very least be given the Home Office; how can he be any worse than Jacqui Schmidt, Blind Boy Blunkett or Tracey May, at least he can fucking see, knows what day it is and doesn't want us all locked-up for ninety days and havimg our ID tattooed on our fucking foreheads.
Kilroy-Silk.
Soz, just a minor point of order - Dibnah was from Burnley and Warsi claims to have links with Dewsbury (whatever those are other than failed PPC, i'm not sure). It's just that about 15 years ago they had a comp in our local comic to win lunch with the Dibnah and I entered 50 times (full pack of postcards) but to no avail. Just, yer know, the Dibnah / Warsi nexus is like 2 polar opposites - crikey - 'win a lunch with Baroness Warsi' - yeah, yeah, err...not so much, no.
She was at our local Cedar Court Hotel (assume they're a chain) last Thursday and the Chair of Dewsbury Tories (could just be him and his wife as members plus a couple of hundred Alzheimer sufferers as proxies) had some slagging match with her over the Gaza thing - wasn't there myself, obviously - had to alphabetise the snails in my garden that night, but it got me thinking - maybe this Warsi woman is cleverer than I gave her credit for; granted, if she was wearing fancy moccasins i'd assume she couldn't tie her shoelaces, so the bar's pretty low.
She's unelected, her CV looks good on paper, she's gobby, opinionated and doesn't bother reading, yer know, research or evidence based briefings and yet she gets a pulpit and a salary for staying on board and building her own power base like Valerie Amos - ticks all the right boxes for a lucrative clitterati career without ever having to do anything.
I've mentioned it before but it gets even scarier when her replacement, Grant Shapps, makes her look like Marcus Aurelius or something - yowzers!
Kilroy-Smith chat shows were an early example of cruelty teevee were they not? The camera moving in closer to catch the old lady in mid sob.
You couldn’t choose any party you’d be least likely to vote for these days. They’re all shite. If there’s a politician that isn’t solely in it for themselves or their sponsors I’m fucked if I can see ‘em.
Friend of mine went to school with gnasher. Nothing to report about the back of the bike sheds with a fag or anything else. In it for the politics she was. Knew and subscribed to approved history n’ politics. Sat at the front and was treated with utmost disrespect by her hairy classmates behind her. Completely unperturbed.
Been wondering where you were, mr dick. Just a fancy, that, something to remind his friends of Maestro Fred, been dead a while, now, be dead a lot longer, yet. But she does push the Working girl, North of England way thing rather too much. She's not unlike ower own Lord Roy 'Attersley, stuffing his face in the Lords, which he only joined to abolish, of course, inasmuch as she is kind of Muslim and so is he, although he denied categorically and unequivocally and infubitably, indeed, it is beyond peradventure that he would have or could have known that his brethren in his consituency of Sparkbrook were running such crooked elections that a Judge called it a banana republic.
Seems to me thst canny Adians have run rings around both Labour and the Tory Klansmen and that this Bashir chap will try to do the same.
I watched Hatterjee, who must be hating all this revived Tub of Lard stuff, on an OU programme, one night, it was about boxing and Hatters, pissed out of his lardy skull, spluttered that it would be insidious of him to compare boxers and that he was tired of seeing fit young men beating each other insensitive; invidious and insensible are what he meant but who are we to challenge such a wordsmith as he, a Guardian peer? Did I ever tell you how much he loved his mother? Quite Savilian, was his dedication to her snd hervChristian Socialist principles, that'll be why he sits, or at least eats, in the House of Lords.
Grant Schitts, yeah, unfuckingbelievable, he makes Tebbit look honest.
There's that thing about the 'Leaders' debate (Leaders of what remains questionable) that if they put an empty chair up there for a no-show, the empty chair would win - 'how do we vote for that?'
I am unsurprised by that, mr doug shoulders, Gnashef Sturgeon's Schooldays. The gnashing incident, quite serious, apparently, happened at university.
What I can't understand is how generally politically savvy Scots - much more so than the average English person - fall for her in such rock star numbers, she is a ghastly wee gabshite harpy, yet all she has to do is say Scotland every fifteen seconds and otherwise sane people wet themselves, turning into angry imbecile tribesmen. It is most bewildering. Gnasher is a lying, hypocritical, money-grubbing hopeless incompetent who learned he blagging skills from Fatman Salmond, who learned his in the bars and knocking shops of Westminster, whence he is desperate to return and like his, hers is a childless, pragmatic career marriage; maybe hubby is so terrifed of being Gnashered, himself, that he keeps away, who could blame him, but he might've sired a normalising heir or two, even Charlie Kennedy and Gordon Brown managed that, although both might have balked at Gnasher's charms. I know I would.
I laughed out-loud at that, mr dick, chair power.
Perhaps scotmale is in penance for the beatings their women folk received when the old firm lost so genuflect at her utterances. We tend to fawn over women who are ballsy.
Schotland is quite a socially engineered country. We’ve been experimented on a few times and seem to enjoy it.
Gnasher had a short skirt on Marr's programme yesterday morning and it wasn't good, no, it wasn't good. There's a quote from Steel Magnolias where Dolly Parton says "Well, these thighs haven't gone out of the house without lycra on them" for which Mzzzzz Sturgeon could take immediate heed.
Unless she's going for a cohort that should be sectioned - genius move, perhaps! Like Ukip with the racists, Labour with the crims, Tories with the spivs - perhaps all this psephelogical nonsense is just a smoke screen!
The Robert Peston tool was on the radio today bemoaning the rise of parties which weren't "proper political parties", and saying that if the vote was sufficiently split nothing would ever get done. It seemed like a damn good idea to me. At least the buggers would stop digging for a while.
It was one of the things which drew me here, mr doug shoulders, tne devolved parliament, the socialists, before Tommy destroyed the Left, the, as you say, experimentalism but as I've said, I believe in fewer borders not more and I am always suspicious of demagogues who claim that planetary salvation and a decent standard of living are achievable by smaller and smaller groupings of workers, the opposite is true. I think she is a fucking menace.
I didn't see that, mr dtp, it's a teen and twenties thing, though, isn't it, the miniskirt. I am sure it will win her no new friends; didn't do much for Emily Moustache, did it?
His Da' is that wonderful contradiction, a Labour peer, isn't he, so he would say that; theoretically, I suppose, a vast coalition is the next best expression of democracy, the best being no elections at all, rather a fixed-term Senate, drawn from the electoral roll, paid an average salary and given some privileges on retirement, free 'bus pass or postage or something. How cold that be worse than what and those we presently endure?
It's the PBC nepotism that does me. David Dimblecunt did a lecture at Westminster on interview technique and it kinda depressed me. They think they got it all sewn up - 'oh, Jonathan's marvellous, Humphrey's insightful, Naughtie pugnacious' - gabshite cunts couldn't ask for bog roll in a crisis. Brian Walden however, I'm having as dog's bollox. Nice tie Sir Robin Cunt, Leon's over there!
Not half, nepotism, at the PBC. I thought I was dreaming high-octane surrealism, yesterday, when I heard Humphries, for some other Radio4 show, interviewing his son and daughter-in-law, in fucking Athens, if you please, about the Greek crisis. We obviously have no PBC Greece correspondents and no-one to interview who speaks English. Thank God for John Humphries, prepared to be flown out there and interview his own family over a nice dinner.
They all want fucking hanging.
Peston is a terrible blasted dullard too. He almost makes me have a soft spot for Nick Robinson. How any two people that vilely insulated from anything they are spouting about - made free by the money of poor people, extracted at threat of violent imprisonment - how they can maintain that degree of putrid smugness is beyond me. Surely they must know that they are bastards.
Damn you for making laugh. Fell and hurt my back pretty badly on Sunday, and now it is very painful for me to laugh. Or sneeze. Or cough.
Suki
It just gets better and better... The PBC needed to have Huw Welshman out there live at Auschwitz for the lunchtime news today standing in front of the huts - then interviewing survivors. Clearly only someone of his calibre could undertake this sensitive work.
He is the Go-To man, for sombre, Huw Welshman, now. He'll get the Ruritanians' funerals, when they happen; Dave Dimbleby must be shitting razor blades, that should've been his inheritance, Auschwitz. Oxbridge Bullingdon Boy and hereditary broadcaster, Dave; I wonder who's muesli he pissed in.
His daughter's in showbiz, a cabaret singer, she's fucking awful, a bit Mel and Sue, she does remoulds of Dory Previn songs, hop skip and a jump from there to chairing Question Time.
I busted my neck and my shoulders, one time, going airborne from a Honda 250, it was a good job a concrete bridge support broke my fall or I might still have been flying now. Anyway, when they moved me from ICU onto the ward the telly was doing re-runs of SOAP, a comedy which I had never seen, Christ, I never laughed so much and hurt so bad, so I know what you mean. You need to watch your back, it's your body's highway, need to take it easy but not too easy.
Shitfuckbollocks, i thought and re-thought about that who's, in who's muesli and still choosed the wrong one.
Yeah, I know what you mean. I am starting to seriously feel my age because I don't heal as quick as I used to.
It's all Mr Suki's fault. If only he painted the ceiling when I told him to, I wouldn't have had to do it myself.
On a different note, I always found it fascinating that Pakistanis can recite the koran (written in Arabic) without speaking a word of Arabic. They learn it phonetically by repeating what the chief is reciting, and he probably doesn't speak a word of Arabic either. You can see it in those programs about Madrasas. The book in front of them is in Arabic, yet none of them speaks it, or reads it. Why don't they have a Pakistani version of the Koran?
Suki
Well, to answer my own question, I guess it is easy to indoctrinate the masses if they can't read. I mean it's easy to get indoctrinated when you can read, let alone when when you can't.
I didn't know that, about the language, thanks, but it is only what we did, for fifteen hundred years, indoctrination through illiteracy and was the reason that William Tyndale, who translated the Bible from latin, was burned at the stake. And maybe why they want to jail Julian Assange, or worse.
Maybe sit mr suki in front of Ideal World, on a DIY Sunday, get him to buy one of those multi-ladders, and he'll be painting every ceiling in sight.Tools maketh man.
http://justice4germans.com/2015/01/24/frau-ursula-haverbeck-declares-victory-we-can-now-dismiss-auschwitz/ Food for thought mr ishmael henry
The only reason I asked Mr Suki to do the ceiling is because I am recovering from a nasty cold that pretty much lasted 2 weeks, otherwise I wouldn't trust him with a fork in case he accidentally stabs himself.
(It's no joke. I managed to stab myself with a fork this morning reaching into the dishwasher's cutlery colander. I recommend you issue Mr Suki with a plastic spoon asap.)
Forgive the pedantry but I think Tyndale translated from Greek (& Hebrew) not Latin. I wouldn't normally be so snotty-bold but since they burned the poor bastard and everything...
verge.//
Long ago, mr verge, I heard a Radio Four dramatisation of Tyndale's life and death; it has always stayed with me. I am sorry for the lack of scholarship.
The wider point, though, about clerics speaking latin and Normans soeaking French to the Saxons is apposite, vis a vis ms suki's comments about the Koran bashers.
I read and watched a few minutes of that, thanks, r henry but it is a huge blog, Justice 4 Germans and as you say, food for thought.
Mr ishmael, the truth does not need
a law to protect it,There are laws
in europe protecting ww11 history,
surely thats a travesty
henry
I agree that the crime of Holocaust denial seems a monstrosity; I am as convinced as can be that the Hitler War produced the camps, the ethnic cleansings, the medical experiments, the tortures as well as all the other abominations, mr henry, it does not follow, from my conviction, that none should challenge it.
There are, quite properly, laws against inciting race hatred; assault, theft and murder are against the law and it seems more than a little totalitarian to criminalise a difference of historical opinion.
I am prepared to accept that some of the Holocaust industry is well-meant, just as long as others accept that parts of it are not.
The twentieth century was incomparably wicked, in the scale of itsv depravity and Germany's contribution was wholly disproportionate; we do not serve progress and improvement, however, by closing-down dissent.
Henry said, You do realise mr ishmael, that after years of propaganda that the mere mention of Auschwitz provokes a pavlovian
emotional response, Myself im only interested in
the truth
Post a Comment