Saturday, 13 September 2014


There were cheers from a dangerous nutter's fan club, gathered outside a South African court, today, as Judge Hecuba Goodfellow ruled that the object of their affection, Mr Oscar Testosterone, did know that in shooting four bullets into a toilet he might kill someone but on the other hand he didn't know; Mr Oscar was screaming like a loony after he'd done it so it was all right, really.  He was also, said Judge Goodfellow, 
a fucking lying bastard who couldn't answer a straight question, who instead of telling the truth would just vomit into a fucking bucket.
 End jest because the State prosecuter, Mr Herry Knob,
revealed the eccused es a right fecking, lying arsehole 
C'mon, admit it, you snivelling fecking wenker, you shot her didden you?

et doesn't mean thet he es not telling the truth end even if he is - or do I mean isn't - I em not persuaded thet this matters

 Praying to fecking God, he was, M'leddee,  to save the slepper he'd jest killed, his counsel had told the court, he wes crying his fecking eyes out, M'leddee, said Berry Roux, 

for the accused,
 hed a face like a slepped arse, he hed, all fucking red it wes, and tearful, after he'd shot the fecking bitch a few times. Upset him greatly, it did. Praying, he wes praying too, to God, and shitting himself. Puking, puking, too, puking hes fecking guts up he wes, proves M'leddee, does it not,
 that he can't be a fecking murderer, like some Kaffir bastard from the townships?
Oh, feck me, responded the Judge in her sentencing remarks, ef he wes crying efterwards, he couldn't have fecking known thet he might kill some poor bestard by firing four shots into a tiny fecking space, jest as it says here, in Ashanti versus van der Blumfeld, 1968, volume  2 open brackets South Effrica close breckets chapter four, sub-section 12 open breckets emended 1969 close breckets open breckets paragraph seven close breckets capita S capital A capital C, the Court should not ellow the accused to make a cunt of himself even if he is es guilty es fucking Sin the court should not ellow his guilt to be a contributory factor in determining his guilt.  A reasonable person might heff known not to go shooting fecking bullets all over the fecking shop but Mr Oscar meks a fecking hebit of driving around South Effrica end firing fecking guns off like he was Beffalo fecking Bell, 
so, all in all, the State hes not convinced me thet the accused is a dangerous fecking lunatic who should be benged-up for some time, at least. 

 Es for him heving a fecking arsenal in his gaff which he wasen entitled to have subject to the Firearms Act of 1999 open breckets amended 2002 close breckets and so on, well, the State has not persuaded me thet he hed these fecking bullets unlawfully, subject to section seven of the Firearms Act, even if he hed the fecking things unlawfully without a permit, a license, a dealers' certificate, an import license an export license or any other permission lawfully granted, even if he held them illegally the Court should not conclude that he held them illegally. 
End jest because he has a habit of firing guns illegally in public end is clearly raving med, it does not follow thet when he was firing into his shithouse doors with the intention of killing someone who was in thet tiny space, he must have fecking known thet he's gonna kill some cunt, not to me et doesn't enyway, and I'm the fecking judge.

The sentencing of this fucking headcase 

 has been postponed  to allow Judge Goodfellow time to consult her Obeah Man in order  to find some way of  sentencing Mr Oscar to a medal and half a million rand from public funds.

Betcha a tenner that if he doesn't get a double figure jail term the State will appeal. As so it should.


Mike said...

At least Oscar didn't shoot a blek - otherwise we would have had to revisit the apartheid-Mandella era, with race riots as side dishes. And the BBC would have had to send over investigative journalists to learn the truth.

Bungalow Bill said...

Hilarious. The stupid old bag.

tdg said...

Actually the idea that you cannot intentionally kill someone if you do not know who he is, and mistaken denial of similar conditional intentions, is widespread in common law. The philosopher Alan White writes about it in Misleading Cases, as I recall. Her abilities are shown to be average to below average, nothing worse than that, which is not that bad for one of the more dysfunctional countries in the world.

Alphons said...

Personally, I don't think he has a leg to stand on!

callmeishmael said...

It is all too untenable a series of improbababilities, mr tdg, even for one such as I, naturally predisposed to favour the accused over the state, any state . Johnny Shapiro framed it thus: the state has literally limitless resources to deploy in pursuit of conviction, resources and determination which no individual can match.

Even so, the state, particularly in the absence of a jury, has a duty to the victim and to the wider society to weigh the facts objectivel and I saw no evidence that she did, relying instead on an incomprehensible welter of case law, eschewing common sense and intelligence, proferring endless, self-exculpatory reasons as to why she could not be held responsible for her judgements, several of which were entirely contrary and perverse.

The accused is of course entitled to the protection of the court but so, too, are victims and potential victims; binding herself in mealy-mouthed ropes of negligence and self indulgence, she failed everyone, even Mr Oscar, confirmed, now, in his brattish, whining, selfish irresponsibilty.

I think hers is a personal failure of courage, too scared, when it came to the sticking point, to protect silly women from egotistical marauders like Pistorious. South Africa, as far as I know, is an extremely violent country, with weedy judges like this it will remain so. To insist that only the killer knows what happened and we must not there venture is about as bad as can be.

SG said...

Whatever happens, he's minted. He'll do time but I suspect he'll be out inside 5 years. Before the judgement was even out there was some talking head from one of the international sporting bodies declaring that his crimes were no barrier to him competing in future. Then there'll be the book deals, media appearances etc. Crime pays if your a 'sleb' or a politician.

Bungalow Bill said...

In criminal law worthy of the name, there has developed a definition of murder which does not require the person acting to have intended death, merely to have been sufficiently reckless as to the foreseeability of it ( or, in our law, grievous bodily harm) arising. Incomprehensibly, this Judge found that shooting bullets into a confined space, knowing it to be occupied, did not constitute the requisite degree of recklessness. Her verdict of culpable homicide, broadly equivalent to our manslaughter, was an intellectually disgraceful cop-out.

Mark said...

The whole case seemed to be about showing how even handed South African justice is when administered by a black woman.
Clearly Pistorious is a violent psychopath - the fact that he uses hollow point ammunition is enough to tell us that.
I can only hope that while he is on bail he finds himself alone in a room with a glass of whisky and a pearl handled revolver and does the decent thing.

callmeishmael said...

There was another point which I should have made, but it was late, about Disability's Impunity, people like Blind Boy Blunkett grandly taking the piss and defying any to challenge him; people like Prince Harry Knobhead posturing his own worth through association with macabre and ferociously aggressive CrippleSport, legless squaddies hauling themselves to the North Pole, the relentless insistence that Disability isn't ; their nasty, ghoulish showing-off harnessed to Captain Duncan Smith's hateful pogrom. No need for any of these stomach churning exploits and adventures; like Prince Harry Knobhead, these angry men might better improve their situation by learning to speak fucking English.

calleishmael said...

The decent thing as far as he and his family are concerned is that he gets off Scot-free and returns to his violent, bullying, celebrity lifestyle and I fear that Judge Wotsit will do her UncleTomming best to assist them to that virtuous outcome.

Bungalow Bill said...

Bullseye on the disability issue. It's part of the cult of "positivity"' combined with the tyranny of Physical Exertion as the only measure of virtue. Unless we are doing triathlons or at the very least marathons for charity then we are morally defective; same if we are not " battling" our cancer or bravely ignoring even our most appalling disabilities. Yet more ways in which to face away from the truth.

tdg said...

Yes, her failure is that of the middlebrow, overturning common sense on an argument that needs either no intellectual application or a great deal of intelligence to reject, but nowhere in between. This nonlinearity of intellectual skill is rarely talked about, but perhaps close to the roots of your idea of Ruin.

SG said...

Meanwhile it seems that the Scottish National Socialist Party is preparing to march on polling stations come 'der tag':

A 'day of reckoning' is also promised for those who dared to oppose the will of their leader.

Caratacus said...

Is it just me, or do the miserable wretched nasal tones of OP when addressing the bench ("I don't know, b'Lady", "I'm so sorry, b'Lady") sound like that other Mr. P(Parker) from Thunderbirds?

If there were Academy Awards for the most abysmal, self-pitying, self-justifying, whining, unbalanced psychopaths this twat would be a shoe-in.

Alphons said...

Was there ever any possibility of an outcome that was not a fudge???
All these interminable trials seem to be similar. Lots of weary bullshit from lots of weary people and a verdict that is waffle.
We have had several here in recent years involving "prominent" people and they all seem to get off with in inordinately lenient "punishment".

Anonymous said...

There may be sporadic violence, mr sg, but firstly, rUK would intervene, must intervene, if it was serious and secondly togetherists are generally more able, sober, prosperous and able to protect themselves; the crucial demographic for the Tribesmen is that poor, unemployed, inebriate and under educated result of Labour hegemony in working class districts.

mongoose said...

But isn't it quite difficult to deliberately kill someone - even with a firearm - if they are invisible in another room and behind a locked door. This was perhaps the prosecution overreach at the start, and it allowed the defence to poison the well. They went for gold and got brass. It may not be fair but they were only going to be able to show madly, violently reckless from the start, and couldn't swallow it. And in not swallowing it, they have allowed him to slip another notch down the scale of culpability.

Screw-up or whitewash? It doesn't matter to lonesome Reeva. But bear up. I am sure that Her Ladyship will hand down a mighty sentence - for penalty and repentance.

call me ishmael said...

Let us not o'er philosophise, mr mongoose, and take the rag from our faces. Maybe what you say would hold-up in a normal-sized room but have you seen the size of that bathroom, the height and the spread of his shots and the fact that three out of four struck her, the last missing because she had slumped to the floor; seems quite easy to me. And no doubt to her, for a moment.

This judgement was a disaster, it would be entirely in keeping with her Ladyship's conduct to give him a six-month sentence.

Noises off, however, from members of the ANC govament ot necklacers are making, well, noises off and the legal profession is breaking ranks. It may be taken from Her Ladyship's trembling hands. Time will tell, who has fell and who's been left behind.