Good evening, and this is the SixaClock News from the Friends of Israel, or the PBC, as some of you may know it. I'm Huw Welshman and tonight's top story is that plucky little Israel is still managing to hold out against the onslaught being ruthlessly mounted against it by the schoolchildren of the Gaza Strip, where Arab children are relentlessly hurling stones and firing drainpipe rockets at Israel, who has only the entire arsenal of the United States with which to defend herself against these frankly feral little hooligans.
Our correspondent in Tel Aviv is the stupid man's Kelvin McKenzie, Mr Paul Staines of the Sun, Mr Good-Oh Fawkes of the Pizza House of Blood. Good-Oh, what can you tell us?
Whoosaprettyboy, then?
One fat Irishman.
Well, Huw, it's like I always said, these ayrab kids, good for nothing they are and if you ask me and my readers the world's better off wiv 'em dead. Wossat? Yeah, course I got kids, two girls 'as it happens, apple of their Daddy, Good-Oh's bloodshot eye, they are, wossatgorradowivthepriceafish? Nah, never 'appen, my little darlins, getting blown-up, tits out fer the lads, more like, page free, like, my own little Tory totties. Whoar.
Thanks, Good-Oh, for that but what can you tell us about that jolly, well, I suppose, avuncular, jolly avuncular chap, Benjamin Netanyahoo, how's he bearing up, under the strain of it all, can't be easy, I shouldn't think.
That's right, Huw,
and I think he's an inspiration to us, rather like Mr Rupert Murdoch is. Now your viewers will know, Huw, that I am one of the country's foremost political historians, I can tell you, for instance, the names of all the UK prime ministers back to John Major, and there's not too many can do that, well, not among my circle, anyway, and what I would say is that Benjy is far and away the greatest of them all. Let's take you over now to the Israeli Parliament and hear what the great man has to say....
Mr Benjamin Netanyahoo, Israeli Fuhrer.
Ein volk, ein Middle East, ein Holy Land.
Ze land vot God gave to Cain und Abraham und Isaac.
Ve Jews, ve are God's chosen ones
Und fuck all ze uzzervuns.
Israeli citizens gather at the Knesset to read the Talmud.
And as if that wasn't inspiring enough let's check out the Israeli Ambassador to the United Nations.
And as if that wasn't inspiring enough let's check out the Israeli Ambassador to the United Nations.
Mr Ron Himmler,
Israeli Ambassador to the United Nations
, "we have the moral right, we had the duty to our people to do it, to kill this people who wanted to kill us. But we do not have the right to enrich ourselves with even one fur, with one Mark, with one cigarette, with one watch, with anything. That we do not have. Because at the end of this, we don't want, because we exterminated the bacillus, to become sick and die from the same bacillus. We have carried out this most difficult task for the love of our people. And we have taken on no defect within us, in our soul, or in our character."
That was Good-Oh Fawkes for us, there, he'll be off now, I expect for a lie-down in a bath of lard and to knock back a few litres of Vodka. Best hope the fat fuck's not driving again, like he does.
ISRAELI NUTTERS DANCE THE HYPOCRISY HORAH.
Funny how, even without anything inconvenient, like proof, we are happy to condemn Russia for supplying to Ukraine separatists an unknown number of surface-to-air weapons and yet we are silent about our supply to plucky little Israel of the means of endless Armageddon upon the children of Gaza.
Not funny, really, breathtakingly, grotesquely hypocritical, made possible only by Ruin's stranglehold on all organs of mass communication, nearly all.
We have no means of knowing the cause of the destruction of the over-Ukraine aircraft but it is hard to see it being a deliberate action by those pesky rebels or their fiendish Russian puppetteers; why would they do that, purposefully down a civilian aircraft filled with complete strangers? If it is not a black op, which it may be, it is likely to be a mistake, one for which the responsibility should be equally shared between those who sent the fucking thing over a warzone in the first place and those who fired the SAM. Hasn't been a good summer for Malaysian Airlines, what with one thing and another.
No rebuke, though, has been issued by those who marshal our thoughts, to this most careless of state airlines. None urge that Malaya return to her core skills of pineapple and rubber cultivation, re-draft her mission statement vis a vis the mass transit of human cargoes. No, you'll be fine, maties, just because there's a fucking war going on doesn't mean there's any danger; no, you're alright, we'll just bring a few of those search teams back from the Southern Ocrean, scrape-up the corpses, sort the black orange boxes that mr ishmael was on about and find some buncha beardy cunts to blame; actually, do you know what, it all works out quite nicely, we all get to blame the Russians and we're all quids-in. The passengers? Well, airtravel remains the safest way to fly, statistics bear it out. And anyway, who wants to live in a risk averse world?
Fuck me, one aircraft disappeared off the face of the Earth and another one shot-down over a warzone; this is competence of an Ian Duncan Smith order; we should invite the board of Malaysian Airways to join Mr Clegg and Mr Cameron and Mr Miliband and Mr Fruitcake in the dismantling of British civilisation, get the job done twice as quickly.
But the passengers, a lot of them, were white folks, not ragheads, so, I dunno what the equivalence of loss is, these days, but probably at least a hundred to one, coupla hundred decent white folks that needs to be, what, at least twenty thousand dead Gazans before we reach a level playing field, maybe if twenty thousand Gazans get roasted then the Powers-that-Be will lift up their eyes unto the hills. Maybe even apply some sanctions to Benny and his murderous boys.
The main thing is that we keep a sense of moral perspective, here, a couple of hundred people mistakenly killed, or even deliberately killed in a warzone near Russia is a far greater outrage than the creation of a two-million person concentration camp and its regular bulldozing and firebombing by a bunch of crazy, racist, religious maniacs.
Plucky Israelis watch the show from the Holocaust Odeon.
I was a kid during the 1967 Six Day War and like many I believed in the Leon Uris, fictionalised version of the story of plucky little Israel. I didn't know I was being fed concentrated rabbi-shit; the Israelis, after all, were good-looking, like the Nazis; had smart uniforms, like the Nazis and better tanks and trucks, like the Nazis; and at the head of the tanks was Moshe Dayan, a general from central casting, he even had a black patch where his eye used to be. Nobody told me that all this hardware came free from Uncle Sam's Department of Terror.
Later, I learned that Menachim Begin, eventually Israeli prime minister, was a filthy piece of shit, orchestrating the brutal, terrorist murders of countless, including British soldiers, in his drive to uproot and make homeless Palestinians. Later, still, I learned that the Israeli constitution insists that any Jew, from anywhere, is entitled to settle in Israel. There is only one way, of course, for all the world's unhappy Jews to slobber all over the Holy Land - their Holy Land, stupid obnoxious bastards - and that's for them to ethnically cleanse those who have been living there for centuries, but first, necessarily, to demonise them, as is now happening.
It is or should be widely understood that those to whom evil is done do evil in return but to the best of my knowledge it was the Germans who wrought the Holocaust, not these kids in the Gaza concentration camp. Why didn't the Jewish freedom fighters sail the Exodus up the Rhine, colonise Bavaria or some other part of Nazi Germany? It is because regardless of their disproportionate share of History's artists and scientists they are hideously superstitious, stupid and malevolent, that's why; they worship a bloody and frightful Iron Age God whose contract with them is cruelly, brutally punitive as well as patriarchal, racist, sexist and bigoted, bit of a Nazi, actually, Himself. These mad, mad fuckers, today presenting as misunderstood good guys, would see us all up in smoke in order to curry favour with the diseased imagining that is Jehovah. Doesn't matter to them, does it? They're all going to the Promised Land.
Imagine that, Bob Dylan, Woody Allen, Simon Schama and Michael Howard, Christ, you'd drown in an ocean of smug.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Google this for further reading. It's proper journalism.
But the passengers, a lot of them, were white folks, not ragheads, so, I dunno what the equivalence of loss is, these days, but probably at least a hundred to one, coupla hundred decent white folks that needs to be, what, at least twenty thousand dead Gazans before we reach a level playing field, maybe if twenty thousand Gazans get roasted then the Powers-that-Be will lift up their eyes unto the hills. Maybe even apply some sanctions to Benny and his murderous boys.
The main thing is that we keep a sense of moral perspective, here, a couple of hundred people mistakenly killed, or even deliberately killed in a warzone near Russia is a far greater outrage than the creation of a two-million person concentration camp and its regular bulldozing and firebombing by a bunch of crazy, racist, religious maniacs.
Plucky Israelis watch the show from the Holocaust Odeon.
I was a kid during the 1967 Six Day War and like many I believed in the Leon Uris, fictionalised version of the story of plucky little Israel. I didn't know I was being fed concentrated rabbi-shit; the Israelis, after all, were good-looking, like the Nazis; had smart uniforms, like the Nazis and better tanks and trucks, like the Nazis; and at the head of the tanks was Moshe Dayan, a general from central casting, he even had a black patch where his eye used to be. Nobody told me that all this hardware came free from Uncle Sam's Department of Terror.
Later, I learned that Menachim Begin, eventually Israeli prime minister, was a filthy piece of shit, orchestrating the brutal, terrorist murders of countless, including British soldiers, in his drive to uproot and make homeless Palestinians. Later, still, I learned that the Israeli constitution insists that any Jew, from anywhere, is entitled to settle in Israel. There is only one way, of course, for all the world's unhappy Jews to slobber all over the Holy Land - their Holy Land, stupid obnoxious bastards - and that's for them to ethnically cleanse those who have been living there for centuries, but first, necessarily, to demonise them, as is now happening.
It is or should be widely understood that those to whom evil is done do evil in return but to the best of my knowledge it was the Germans who wrought the Holocaust, not these kids in the Gaza concentration camp. Why didn't the Jewish freedom fighters sail the Exodus up the Rhine, colonise Bavaria or some other part of Nazi Germany? It is because regardless of their disproportionate share of History's artists and scientists they are hideously superstitious, stupid and malevolent, that's why; they worship a bloody and frightful Iron Age God whose contract with them is cruelly, brutally punitive as well as patriarchal, racist, sexist and bigoted, bit of a Nazi, actually, Himself. These mad, mad fuckers, today presenting as misunderstood good guys, would see us all up in smoke in order to curry favour with the diseased imagining that is Jehovah. Doesn't matter to them, does it? They're all going to the Promised Land.
Imagine that, Bob Dylan, Woody Allen, Simon Schama and Michael Howard, Christ, you'd drown in an ocean of smug.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Google this for further reading. It's proper journalism.