Monday, 25 May 2009
THINGS MUST CHANGE
REFORM, A POSTMAN WRITES
Alan Johnson, a government postman, said today that in order for the people to work harder for their rulers – him and his mates – they had to be given more choices to make about things.
We plan to offer customers in our hospitals a range of options tailored to their individual knees, I mean needs, they should be able to go into hospital with a full range of choices as to the manner in which they meet their ends thus ceasing to be a burden on the public finances, unlike myself and the lads in guvament.
In future customers will be able to choose between death by surgical incompetence, over-prescription of heavy-duty drugs, starvation as a result of nursing neglect, as well as the traditional range of hospital acquired infections such as C –Difficult and that other one, the alphabet one, MP3, whatever.
In offering this range of choices we will deliver our customers a health service fit for the fourteenth century.
It is by reforms such as this that NewLabour will secure an unprecedented other term, with me as Head Postmaster. And Gordon in the loony bin.