Sunday, 31 May 2009
KENNEDY SOBER SHOCK
DRUNK IN TEDDY BEAR SCAM
From the Daily Suicide-O-Graph.
Meanwhile, it was also reported the former Lib Dem leader Charles Kennedy claimed taxpayer-funded expenses for teddy bears and mints from the House of Commons shop.
He said the claim had been submitted in error and the money - £14.90 - repaid earlier this month.
"I receive regular requests for (non party political) fund-raising and other charitable causes. These I meet from my own pocket and am happy to do so. When this error was picked up, upon receipt of these invoices, both were repaid by me on May 11 this year, just when they were about to be made public." " I must have been drunk at the time" continued the gay Highlander, " I normally am, the booze, d'ye ken, in the house of commons, is subsidised, like my entire life and so-called career, by the bonny taxpayer, although not in Scotland, obviously, where there aren't any. Did I mention I was the youngest ever alcoholic in the house of commons?"
"Since, like most Jock members," chuckled cheery CharlIe, the wee ginger darlin', "I spend my life pissed, I cannot be held responsible for myself or any money-grubbing errors I may characteristically make, such as going on Have I Got Stale News For You, with those other smarmy cunts."
"I am clearly not responsible for myself and this is why you should have all voted for me as prime minister, when you had the chance."
Charles Kennedy made a similar bold and frank and courageous statement of leadership a couple of years back, coincidentally just five minutes before one of his chums was about to expose him as a can't-stand-up pisshead who didn't know his arse from a hole in the ground. Charles can always be relied upon to fess-up when he has absolutely no other option but avoid the truth like the pox up until then, a true parliamentarian.
Tomorrow, Charles Kennedy on his AA meetings - My name is Charles Kennedy and I am a politician........