Friday, 8 May 2009


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BY JAYNE TITS, SkyMadeUpNewsAndFilth's Telly Gal.

After fifty years on telly, Richard Shoplifter and his blowsy old Mrs, Judy, have been discovered to be a pair of screeching, self-obsessed bores, him especially, and her especially, too.

Richard says the best thing about it was being able to just walk into supermatkets, fill his trolley with booze, and walk out again without paying. Judy said it was getting her tits out at the BAFTAs.

Sacking this ghastly, twittering pair of repulsive oiks, Lord Sir Michael Cigar and Braces said, My Grandfather, Sir Billy Cotton, built this station with his bare hands but now there's just enough money for me, so that pair can fuck right off, Oi vay!

Of Richard and Judy's three viewers two of them had Alzheimers, so they won't miss them, and Buster's owners said they would soon find hin something else to watch.


Fatima said...

It's the end of an ear ache.

jonafan woss said...

Worra gwate pair a pafawmahs. And Richard, 'im too, lovely gennulman.

Dick the Prick said...

Good Evening Mr Ishmael & Fatima

I hope you're both well and spring has sprung in the woods near you. The daffs & crocus are well gone & the cherry blossom & dandelions are dwindling now. I love cherry blossom, ooh, and bluebells - they don't seem to carpet these days - like you can see the gaps!

Have you ever made it past about 4 minutes of Jeremy Kyle. When I was young and more impressionable I used to watch Vanessa Feltz in the afternoon - round the time of Neighbours; it would have reflected more on the viewer than the programme to criticize.

I just got elected to 2 jobs man with Tory party in a proper fucking wholly undemocratic way. It was absolute bollox. The Chairman dude was voted out 2 years ago for parking issues in his ward apparently - but unknown to numbnuts & me council boss (genuinely do work for spun same line when me laddo aggrieved minted fuck you cllr stated all to do with relocating ethnic school - fair play; folded too quick to cash Labour offered - cabals and infighting.

Been unemployed for 6 months - been really fun but stress as options reduce. Spend a lot less not working - everything's a fucking rip off. I have absolutely no idea what i'm doing except blotting out the current administration. Governments are weak but they are completely traduced if they don't try.

Benedict in Jordan saying 'I luv the Muzzies' - yeah, good luck to him on that one eh? Love to fam bud and enjoy yer garden.


Dick the Prick said...

Whoops - Benedicts telling the Jews he loves them. I get confused by it all. OOoohhh, won the test - hmm..