Friday, 22 May 2009
WOTSONTELLY, THE TALKING POTATOES
ONE POTATO. IT'S ACTUALLY QUITE NICE THAT PEOPLE COME TO ME FIRST, FOR THE NEWS. IAN HISLOP POTATO
TWO POTATO. ACTUALLY, READERS, THEY GO TO HIM FIRST, GUIDO PIZZA POTATO.
THREE POTATO. BUT FOR THE ARTS THEY COME TO ME, MARK LAWSON POTATO
Mr Ian Potato of the BBC and editor of Private Eye was talking to Mr Mark Potato of the BBC about how much money they both made from the BBC and how that enabled them to be among its fiercest critics.
Great satirists, squeaked Little Potato, pulling one of his funny faces, Ken Livingstone, Boris Johnson, Anne Widdecombe, great people, all of them, and we love to have them on the show, Boris will definitely be back, he’s great to work with. You know, there really is no business like show business.
Yes, I know, squeaked Big Potato, isn’t it great ? Tell me something else that’s wonderful about you.
Well I went to Oxford…..
Well, that’s it, doncha know.
Ian Hislop, it’s been wonderful sucking your cock.
Yes, I know.
And the cheque'll be in the post, from the license payer.
Yes, I know
And mine will, too.
Yes, I know, great isn't it, money for old rope.
Throughout a nauseating edition of Mark Potato Talks To..... neither of these two BBC/Establishment stooges made mention of the impact on popular political consciousness of the cybersatirists, especially that of Mr Guido Pizza, who has, with huge industry and perseverance, almost single handedly enabled a new, popular, largely unexpurgated people's forum; tumultuous, discordant, angry, profane and scatological. Vital, often chaotic, always irreverent, it is actually to order-order that people go, now, for hard political news; if it is a case of Hislop's weary Private Eye or Fawkes's fierce and urgent Public Eye (www.order-order) there is no contest. The one seeks to educate, entertain and inform and the BBC cabal doesn't.