Sunday, 24 May 2009

SUNDAY CLASSIFIEDS

ETHICS FOR SALE

 
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BUY YOUR ETHICS FROM KEITH


Few MPs have any ethics and in these days when those fickle voters seem to be clamouring for them this can be a bit of a career-stopping embarrassment.
But don’t worry honourable, ahem, colleagues, Keith has never had any ethics and look at how far he has travelled, never off the box, the smarmy, lying, thieving git.

Keith’s company, VAZ-O-LIES can help you improve your image on the ethics front. For those who have not the faintest idea, like the late Jock MP Robin Cock, what an ethic is, here is a dictionary definition from stanislav’s Useful English As A Second Language, Innit (Sonoffuckingbitch publications, Cracow, 2008):

Ethic: is not steal off taxpayer every fucking day; not buy rentboy with taxpayer money; not spend whole life thieving, poncing, lying like worthless piece of shit.

It’s a heady, cutting edge concept but members don’t need to do it all at once, in fact you don’t need to do it at all.

Instead, just let Keith instruct you in the technique of VAS-O-LYING; learn sneering condescension, smirking evasion and bare-faced impudent lying and cheating, all with a thoughtful, lawyerly cuntish air. Keith’s courses are expensive and can, of course, be charged to the taxpayer.

Ride out the Ethics Crash in comfort, style and luxury, learn VAS-O-LYING today, it’s the best taxpayers’ money you’ll ever spend.



TESTIMONIAL: Fuck me, I was all set to top meself, until I gave Keith some of my constituents' money and now I have almost completely stopped talking bollocks.( Mrs Dorries, Westminster.)

3 comments:

Rightwinggit said...

Where can one obtain a copy of this dictionary?

Anonymous said...

Is this the supplier of the ever popular VolteVas.

Anonymous said...

...or even VolteVaz!!