Sunday, 24 May 2009


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Sir Jockie Stewart of the Ford Motor Company and Ms Selena Scott, a deceased newsreader are the latest celebrities to join Andrew Marr in his battle for Democracy.

With Mr David Thing of Moats‘n’IslandsRus all expressed the view that things had to change drastically if they were to stay the same as they have always been.

Now, said Mr Thing, that everyone in my party has been found out and we can no longer keep it in the dark I am going to do my best to move on and draw a new line in the sand on my private beach, only not with Mr Osblow, the YachtBoy, and the very best thing to happen is that I become prime minister, it is my turn and I went to Oxford and Eton, this is what people expect in this country, after all, this is the sort of change that people are gagging for, so to speak, me as prime minister, an effete coke-snorting layabout and congenital bully.

I agree, said Sir Jocky Bouffant, you know I make lots of money advertising expensive rubbish and that’s what the people want to carry on happening, only with me not paying so much tax and them paying a good deal more, after all, I am a Scotchman.

And me, I am, too, said Andy, license-payer cheques in the post all round.

Shall I get my tits out now, enquired Lady Selena of the Famous Four, or later?

chorus: Shut Up, bitch!


Daisy said...

And what do you say Mr Cameron, said Andy, in reply to the likes of Mr Foraging of UKIP, who thinks your position on the Lisbon Treaty referendum isn't worth a bucket of warm spit?

Is bollocks, innit? said Dave. Is hyperfetic question. Is no good ask what if, what might or might not do in future, is bollocks.

Ah, said Andy, so in that case you won't be having an election manifesto then?

Dave went very quiet, turned a funny colour, and then self-combusted in a bright blue flame.

call me ishmael said...

He simply can't help himself, can he, Cameron?

In-breeding will out, so to speak.